Will people assume?

So I like the name [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], I find it very sweet with a pretty sound, and it was the name of an instructor that taught both myself and my Fiance in our college years. She is a spunky, funny woman, and it would be a blessing to have a daughter that had her qualities. I have been considering adding [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] to our list as an homage to this wonderful woman who effected our lives in such a positive way, HOWEVER, my M.I.L’s name is [name_f]Carolyn[/name_f]. And I would not, ever, name a baby after her, we have a rough history, and as it stands we still only tolerate each other.
So the question, if you met a baby girl named [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], would you assume she was named after her grandmother [name_f]Carolyn[/name_f]? (assume you knew the grandmother…)

Edit to add: If people were to ask, and I were to deny it emphatically, would I be seen as a insertbadwordhere? I can’t think of a good way to be like “No, Caroline ISN’T named for her grandmother”

I would possibly assume this, but I guess the only way to get around it is if people ask to tell them why she’s called what she is.

Yes, I would assume that the name [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] was a nod to her grandmother [name_f]Carolyn[/name_f]. Sorry…

Yeah, I would possibly assume she was named after her grandmother

That’s what I thought :frowning: Thanks Ladies. Luckily I wasn’t too sold on the idea!

I don’t know. My parents named my sister _______ [name_u]Rae[/name_u] even though our grandfather’s name is [name_u]Ray[/name_u]. No one ever assumed it was after him and my parents certainly didn’t name my sister after him (also a tense relationship). [name_m]How[/name_m] close are you to your [name_f]MIL[/name_f]? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you see her all the time (often enough for it to be a problem) or does she live across the state? [name_m]Even[/name_m] if you do see her, how often are a bunch of your family together with her and your future daughter? If you don’t really see each other then it shouldn’t be that big of an issue.

If it still bothers you, though, what about [name_f]Coraline[/name_f]? Different nickname potential ([name_f]Cora[/name_f]), but you still get the look and feel of [name_f]Caroline[/name_f].

I think people would assume that, do you have the woman’s middle name you could potentially use? My cousins faced the same issue with honor names and used the middle names since a few shared common first names.

I think if you also publicly let your family and friends know the story when you introduce the little one when she’s born then you would be fine.

@Birchwood - We live in the same city, see her often enough, and my Fiance is her only child. So his kids will be her only grandchildren. Usually when we do see her, it is among a ton of family, except for a few small dinners a few times a year. [name_f]Coraline[/name_f] is close, but it doesn’t feel the same to me as [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]! I also only have 2 biological cousins on my dads side of the family, and one is named [name_f]Cora[/name_f], so that would be odd for me!

@Trippindippy - I do not know her middle name, I think it would be awkward to ask haha

I wouldn’t do it. It sounds like it would bother you a lot when people assumed or said that she’s named after [name_f]Carolyn[/name_f], which would likely happen, so I wouldn’t go there. If you like [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], what about [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] or [name_f]Emmeline[/name_f] (emma-line)?

I do love [name_f]Emmeline[/name_f], have for years, but there’s the problem of her having the initials E.Z, which, in [name_f]Canada[/name_f] would be pronounced Ee [name_m]Zed[/name_m], but we have family in [name_u]America[/name_u], that would be reading Ee-[name_f]Zee[/name_f]. So that makes me hesitate.

I do also like [name_f]Clementine[/name_f], but the possibility of nn [name_u]Clem[/name_u] actually makes me gag a bit.

Yes I would assume that it was an honour name. I love the name [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] and I don’t think it should make you not use it. But I don’t think it looks very good if you were to deny that it’s an honour name when the names are so similar.

I would be one to assume that the name was in honor of your [name_f]MIL[/name_f]. It also can be hard to explain if you know people assume but they don’t ask. You might end up feeling like you’re defending your name choice all the time. It is just one of those situations where names are ruined by bad experiences. It’s unfortunate, but it happens. Sorry.

Yes, I would unfortunately assume she was named after her grandmother. However, if people ask, you could say “No, actually, she was named after a professor that both my husband and I had in college.” I mean I don’t think that you would come off sounding bad if you said that. But it may be best to go with another name - I mean, you wouldn’t want your [name_f]MIL[/name_f] thinking you named your daughter after her.
What about [name_f]Cara[/name_f] or [name_f]Coraline[/name_f]?

I hate to say it - I’m confirming your worst fears - but if I met a baby [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] whose grandmother I knew was named [name_f]Carolyn[/name_f] I would definitely assume it was an honour name, and if her mother went out of her way to emphatically deny it I would think that a) it was [insertbadwordhere]y of her, and b) if she so hated the idea that her daughter would be presumed to be named after her [name_f]MIL[/name_f], she should have picked a different name for her daughter.

Also, this may be even worse to hear, but if I was [name_f]Carolyn[/name_f] and my granddaughter was named [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], I would totally think it was to honour me. (Sorry!)

Is there anything else about the teacher you could use? Like something about the topic she taught, her favorite color, her favorite book? Something that would tie her to you that you and your fiancé would know…

I would assume that she was named after her grandmother, but it’s not all bad. And if someone asks if she is named after her grandmother, just respond with, “She’s actually named after a wonderful instructor DH and I had.” I wouldn’t think anything bad if you phrased it like that.

Some of you sure know how to be more tactful than I would be! @dewdrops/floppyduck!

@floppyduck - Can’t use [name_f]Cara[/name_f] or [name_f]Coraline[/name_f] :frowning:

@oregano - your response made me laugh, and honestly, I think it would be worse if SHE thought it was for her!

@cengel - I don’t know too much about her personally, except the super embarrassing stories she told us which made her so endearing. She taught advanced mathematics, so not too many names there! Could always just call her our new ‘addition’ bahah