Worried about having a biological child after 2 adopted kids


My husband and I are expecting our first biological child after adopting 2 awesome, spectacular, wonderful kids from Bulgaria. We had decided that if we were going to have another kid, we would adopt, but SURPRISE! Turns out we made a baby ourselves.

Anyways, we are very excited but slightly worried that our biological son might feel left out and/or different and I’m worried that I will love him differently than my other kids (not more or less, just differently). Also, my husband and I are [name_f]Indian[/name_f], so he will probably be of a darker skin and black hair which is different from our older kids, who have light skin and light brown hair. I generally don’t mind when I get weird looks from other people in public who are baffled at the fact that 2 brown parents can have such light kids, but I don’t want one of my kids to feel like he shouldn’t be there and I don’t want my older ones to feel different now that we have a biological son. I’m excited to see what he’s like and to get to see him grow and become a beautiful, kind person, but I just don’t want him to grow up feeling bitter about being the only biological kid (he’s our last kid). Maybe I’m overthinking it? Ahhhh I have no idea!! Please help!

It’s a little too late to do anything about it now! :slight_smile:

But in all seriousness, you’ll figure it out. Good friends of ours recently had an unexpected biological child after adopting three children (currently ages 10-14), and like you, their adopted kids have a very different skintone than their own. Having a bio child is different (for starters, their other children were older when adopted, not babies), but in its own beautiful way, and its been so neat to see their family as one big, blended, loving group. You’ll do great, too!

My social studies teacher in 8th grade had ten (10!) adopted kids from different countries in Western [name_f]Africa[/name_f]. He and his wife were both white, and had a biological daughter the year I had him as a teacher. Two of his adopted kids were in my grade, and both were excited at the arrival of their new sister. They were older, of course, and understood things about babies, but they had only been part of the family for about 3 years at that point. I’m not sure if they ended up having any more biological children since he switched schools after my year, and I didn’t see his kids again after that either.

Adoption is a beautiful thing, just like creating a baby yourselves is, however they are different beauties. I think you should make sure your kids realize that, while this baby is different from them, he isn’t better or more loved. Tulips and roses are different but both come together to make a beautiful spring day :). Congrats on your family!

Erase your worry. [name_f]Revel[/name_f] in joy. You are blessed three times! Enjoy every moment.

You are so blessed. This baby will be a blessing to you guys and to your other children. God is so good & He has a plan. [name_u]Love[/name_u] love love that little one and they won’t feel disconnected. You obviously have been able to create a home for two blessings that aren’t biologically yours. You can make your own feel loved. CONGRATS!