This is a hypothetical question but I see a lot of name stealing threads and want to know if I would be on the “other” side of the equation i.e. the bad guy in a name situation.
Should I ever have a daughter I have every intention of naming her [name]Josephine[/name] and have felt this way since I was 11 or 12.
I was discussing how much I love this name with one of my best friends who informed me that her grandmother was named [name]Josephine[/name]. Now as far as I know she doesnt want children and I know she doesnt care for the name but what if she was in love it and had every intention of it? Does she have more right to it since its a family name (though I do have a grandfather [name]Joe[/name] but still, she has THE name). Would this now make me a name thief considering I have every intention of using the name regardless to how she feels? I have known her for 5 or 6 years and while I love her like a sister I have dreamed of having a daughter named [name]Josephine[/name] for over half my life.
Also, what if I hadnt approached the subject first? What if she happened to tell me that she likes the name for a future daughter and that it honors a family member and I then told her I planned on using it as well? Would I need permission now? and since our daughters would most likely grow up together would people think I was in the wrong?
I am very interested to know what others think because it makes me wonder, if I ever end up in this situation would I start to doubt my “right” to the name. Would really appreciate your feedback!
I wouldn’t consider it name stealing. First of all, you said that you’ve loved this name since you were about eleven years old. Have you known your friend that long?
You also said that you felt your friend didn’t like the name, nor does she want children. While you may not be completely sure of her feelings, unless she says she loves it you can’t be certain. Finally, [name]Josephine[/name] could technically be a family name for you too.
But I wouldn’t use the name unless you talked it over with your friend first. I don’t think people would think you in the wrong at all, and I certainly think that you had a daughter with a lovely name. Also, if your friend says that she wants it, and/or plans to use it, then you might have to hand it over.
I really hope that helps!
I agree that it wouldn’t be stealing. I think if she had expressed that her first daughter would be named [name]Josephine[/name] and that she was totally in love with the name, I’d pick something else. But you said she doesn’t really care for the name anyways. My guess is that if she does ever use it, it would be a middle name. If she says anything about it, just be honest and tell her that you’ve loved the name forever. I’m sure she won’t mind from what you’ve said here.
I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s impossible to really own a name unless you’re blue ivy trademark. So what if you’re both have little Josephines? [name]One[/name] can be [name]Josie[/name] and the other [name]Fifi[/name] on play dates. Would they go to school and be in the same grade together? Prolly not. I think it’s a real nonissue and you should go right ahead. I’m not claiming my grandparents’ names to my cousins and sister-in-laws who are all getting preggo about the same time as me. Honestly if they name their baby [name]Lily[/name] or [name]Fay[/name] six months before I do then I’d go right ahead and still use the name too! I just don’t care. Sure we’d use a nickname at reunions but so what. Use the name you love!
Yeah I just don’t think I could relinquish the name, there’s a good vhance I could move out of the country or for whstecer reason not see her again and then I would regret not using it.
I’m pretty much if the opinion that nobody owns a name and nobody has “dibs.” And I really don’t think it’s a huge deal for cousins or friends to have the same name. It used to be extremely common and the world did not explode into mass confusion. There are certain situations where name napping seems intentional and malicious, but this isn’t one of them. Use [name]Josephine[/name] if you like that.
I agree that this would not be stealing. You have loved the name for so long, and she has never mentioned wanting to use it for a child. If she had been saying how special it was to her, then you may have a little dilemma, but until then, no. Anyway, even if she does mention it, I think that as long as you are open and honest with your friend, it will be ok. Who knows? From what you say, she may not even want to use this family name. I have a grandmother named [name]Ruth[/name], and I certainly would not mind if a friend named their daughter [name]Ruth[/name], because it is just not my style.