Two front runners for baby boy #2 have been [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] and [name_m]William[/name_m] (both family names). I have recently been doing some research on our family tree and found a couple from the 1800s from my husband’s home town, with our same surname (which is very rare, so they would be relatives somewhere along the line) who had two sons. The first was [name_m]William[/name_m], the second [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]. Now this is all fine, but the thing is that both boys appeared to have died when they were babies, before their first birthday, as their year of birth is the same as their year of death.
So basically, I am now paranoid that these names, as much as I love them, are a bad omen or that it would be bad luck to use them. I keep trying to tell myself that I am being silly, but pregnant lady paranoia keeps creeping in…
I hate to say this, but I would feel the same way. I am totally superstitious and would have a terrible nagging feeling. I think [name_m]William[/name_m] and [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] are great but I would probably not use them after reading that. However, variations would be fine - your other son is [name_m]Xavier[/name_m], so what about [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] and [name_m]Liam[/name_m] (in honor of the [name_m]Williams[/name_m] in your family)?
I agree that I hate to be superstitious also… but I wouldn’t use it. From a non-superstitious point of view, sadly, things do go wrong sometimes. If that were to happen, God forbid, the name situation would be an additional and unneccesay burden on your heart.
If it makes you feel better, you could reverse the order and name the next son [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]. I love the sibset of [name_m]Xavier[/name_m], [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], and [name_m]William[/name_m].
While of course I don’t believe that if you name your baby one of these names something will necessarily happen to him, I imagine I’d be worried if I was in your situation, too. I think I would go with an alternative (like [name_m]Alastair[/name_m] or [name_m]Willem[/name_m], options are countless).
Actually I just realized my aunt, [name_f]Tatyana[/name_f], shares her name with my great aunt, who died at the age of 4. They used to share the last name before my aunt got married, too. Needless to say, my aunt didn’t die when she was 4, she is alive and healthy and happy.
I have to disagree with pp–you are being paranoid! I read somewhere that back in the day when children often didn’t live into adolescence, the mother would name the next child with the exact same name of the one who just died, to honor him or something. That probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but still. [name_m]William[/name_m] and [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] are lovely names and if you love one of them, you should use it! It’s a sad story, but these names are so common that I don’t think you can relate the situations (try not to anyway!)
You say [name_m]William[/name_m] and [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] are family names, so I have to think that there have been family members with these names besides these two unfortunate little boys? What was their history? That seems much more relevant.
[name_m]William[/name_m] and [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] are both very common names and if your main rationale for using them is your family connection, then I think you have to look to family members who had longer lives and their reputations. It was so common in the 19th century for children to die in infancy, and your only connection to these children is a theoretical one based on last name, that I do think you’re taking things too far to suppose that their deaths have any connection at all to any child you might have.
It wouldn’t stop me for several reasons. Coincidences happen all the time without us knowing it. You’ve just stumbled upon one that unsettles you, and I don’t necessarily blame you. But I don’t think you should put stock into it. Your baby is going to be born in 2014, not the 1800s, when the risks were much much higher for infants and the women who delivered them. The fact that two babies with pretty popular classic first names died is sad, but unfortunately was common. I’m sure a lot of people who gave their kids classic names could look back into their or their husband’s family tree and find something similar.
I’m trying to belittle your nerves–just trying to reassure you! I know it’s easy for me to say
ETA: I see some of us had similar thoughts at the same time, haha
I agree completely with what r_j said. Aside, don’t worry about it; I know it may prove challenging, but don’t : ) They’re wonderful names, with wonderful histories behind them, and it would be shame to not use them.
Thank you all for your reassurance and reality checks The logical side of me says that I am being superstitious and ridiculous, and that as some of you have pointed out, children often died in infancy in those days. I think that sometimes I think way too much (especially when having bouts of pregnancy insomnia) and get myself all stressed out over nothing!
I hope you feel better about this, but if you get uncomfortable again you should look for other [name_m]Williams[/name_m] and Alexanders to associate with the names. They are common, so you can “name the child after” someone who is/was a great person with a wonderful life. No need to stress about those two boys
Well, if you can’t get over it then you shouldn’t. I don’t believe it’s going to bring any doom on your babies. ( Anyone reading who may be triggered please skip the rest of my post. I don’t want to upset anyone. ) In fact I’ll let you know my gram named my dad the same name she named her first son who passed away. He was preterm and this was about 55-60 years ago. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad found it weird but, it’s also a family tradition to be named that. I wish you the best. Maybe you can think of it as honoring your late family members.
