I really love [name_f]Bella[/name_f] but my mum hated my grandmother who was named [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f]. [name_f]Every[/name_f] time I bring up the name she has disapproving looks etc or voices her opinion that I’d be naming the child after apparently someone who caused her so much distress and she says she hates the name.
Would you stick and name her [name_f]Bella[/name_f] or just drop the B and call her [name_f]Ella[/name_f]? (Which is pretty and similar.)
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] there.
That’s a tough one. Sometimes family members scoff at names people choose just because they think they’re too weird & just don’t like them. In that case, I’d just let them get over it. They’ll fall in love w/whatever name is attached to a sweet little baby. But this one seems a little different. If your mom hated her mother (or mother in law?) & Grandma [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] caused a lot of pain in her life, it may be a good idea not to use it. [name_f]Ella[/name_f] is just as beautiful if not better, in my opinion anyway.
[name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps. 
I’d call her what YOU and your partner/husband wish to call her. She is your daughter so choose a name you love. Everyone is going to either like/dislike a certain name. You cannot please everyone, even she is your mother! If you called her [name_f]Bella[/name_f] she’s not going to love her any less and she’ll get over it eventually. If she doesn’t get over it then I’m afraid to say she is very immature!
In 90% of most cases I would definitely say name your baby whatever you want, but I’m not sure here. are you close to your mom and see her often? and did Grandma [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] even go by [name_f]Bella[/name_f]? If her relationship with her mom was abusive or otherwise painful to think about, it might be worth considering the name [name_f]Ella[/name_f] or something similar instead ([name_f]Emma[/name_f]? [name_u]Bellamy[/name_u]?) I have a similar family dynamic with my grandparents, and even though my mom would never say it (your mom clearly has no problem vocalizing in her thoughts on it) I know it would hurt her at least a little bit to use a name very similar to theirs.
This is tough but I would either use a different -bell- name ([name_u]Bellamy[/name_u], [name_f]Bellatrix[/name_f], [name_f]Annabelle[/name_f], Amabell, [name_f]Mirabelle[/name_f] ect.) And let grandma use a nickname she is comfortable with and you can still use [name_f]Bella[/name_f] at home or I would give up on the sound completely and work on falling in love with a completely different name. [name_f]My[/name_f] preference would be to use a different bell name, because my family is nickname happy and we all grew up with different nicknames from different family members and it never caused a problem but that’s me and my family. What you don’t want is for grandma to feel like your ignoring her feelings or don’t care about her opinion.
This might depend on my ability to handle and be at peace with consequences that could come from naming my child something her grandmother finds upsetting.
Will her name create some unintended emotional distance between my child and her grandmother?
Am I prepared to accept grandmother’s feelings in order to use the name we absolutely love?
If her name makes her grandma’s “least” favorite grandchild, will I be upset?
If my child notices some differences being made between her and her cousins, will I explain the reason why that might be?
Personally, if great-grandmother [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] was abusive or neglectful to my mother I wouldn’t want to take her feelings lightly. It would be a heavy burden on my child to be associated with a member of the family with a bad legacy. If I believed it to be more of a petty squabble, I would consider using the name, just understanding that I will not be able to fight or argue if at least initially my daughter isn’t grandmother’s favorite, or if my mom insisted on using a nickname that deviated from her name.
[name_f]My[/name_f] personal choice would be to go with a different name. Your mum might be just a tad dramatic or it could honestly have been a very distressing situation.
I have this problem with a very popular name at the moment. None of my family members are expecting but if they were and were considering that name I would possibly address the effect that name has on me. Of course it would be up to them to choose the name. In previous situations where I’ve met people with that same name I just avoid them at all cost, honestly I am not sure I could possibly engage with a family member that had that name (even if it’s an innocent baby). It might sound very petty to do something like this but that’s how trauma works.
I think I’d go with [name_f]Ella[/name_f] if you like it just as much -it seems like the best way not to upset anymore
Usually I would say its your kid do whatever you want, but at the same time if it really causes your mom pain to hear the name i wouldn’t do it. This isn’t about her not liking the name you chose its about your mom being hurt by someone with this name and i think that makes this different. I mean i know how I would feel if a family member named their child the same name as someone who caused me a lot of pain.
Maybe talk about it with your mother and explain that it’s just a name you love and you don’t mean it to be honouring your grandmother. Or try to compromise it and make it the middle. It doesn’t seem fair to be to throw away a favourite name because it has unfortunate links to someone else.
Hmm, this is tough. If you really like Ella, I would use that.
You could also, as suggested, give her another -belle, -bel or -bella name and call her Bella at home:
Arabella
Annabella- Your mother could call her Anna?
Bellamy
Clarabelle- Clara or Clare could be extra nickname options
Mirabelle
Maribel
Bluebell- Maybe mother could call her Blue?
Mabel- Billie and Mae would be cute nns
Abelia
Could you do a hyphenated name?
Bella-Rose
Bella-Jane
Bella-Claire
Bella-Maria
Bella-Sophia
Bella-Justine
Bella-Louise
Bella-Deanne
Bella-Miriam
Bella-Anne
Bella-Faith
Bella-Grace
Mary-Bella
Carrie-Bella
Janie-Bella
What about another [name_f]Bella[/name_f] name and then you could use [name_f]Bella[/name_f] as the nn? Like [name_u]Bellamy[/name_u], [name_f]Bellatrix[/name_f], [name_f]Arabella[/name_f], [name_f]Annabel[/name_f], [name_f]Mirabella[/name_f], [name_f]Christabel[/name_f]? I think that could be a good solution. [name_f]Ella[/name_f] is gorgeous, but it sounds like [name_f]Bella[/name_f] is what you really love, so I wonder if one of those wouldn’t be a better solution? Or even [name_f]Gabriella[/name_f] nn [name_f]Bella[/name_f]…
Good luck!
This is a difficult choice! I think often once they see the child the name becomes a non-issue and even creates positive associations. If you don’t want to deal with the drama I would go with [name_f]Ella[/name_f], it’s still a beautiful name!
@Lussinatta I agree completely.
I would say [name_f]Ella[/name_f] is the best choice, if you don’t wanna have conflict with your family. And [name_f]Ele[/name_f] Is a super cute nickname for [name_f]Ella[/name_f]! 
I agree w/ Lussinatta & others; it’s not just a matter of your mom disliking a name, it sounds like the association troubles her. Would you really want to be (even unintentionally) named after your great-grandmother if she mistreated your grandmother? And even if it is a case of over-dramatic or undeserved resentment, is a name really worth it? There are thousands of beautiful names but only one relationship between a mother & daughter. 
Normally, I would say go with the name you love, forget everyone else’s opinion. But for this I agree with @MichelleM. I would stay away from [name_f]Belle[/name_f] since it’s a painful association for someone very close to you and your baby.
I would choose a name that does not bring up this association for your mother. Normally, if grandma doesn’t like the baby name, my advice is “she already got to name her children, now it’s your turn, and she’ll love the child just the same once they’re here and named,” but this situation seems different.
I’m not sure if [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] was her mother or her mother-in-law, but as someone who is estranged from an abusive family member, I would be really hurt if my child named their baby “after” my abuser, even if the intent wasn’t to honor him. [name_f]My[/name_f] association with that name isn’t just unpleasant, it’s traumatic. It would genuinely be difficult for me to get past the old association, and although I would try, I would truly worry about being able to bond with the new baby while people are excitedly using my abuser’s name everywhere.
Of course, my experience is not necessarily your mother’s experience. I relate strongly to the situation as you’ve presented it, but only you can really evaluate whether your mother’s objections are in good faith. Is her relationship with Grandma [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] one that you have known to be extremely difficult, even before the name [name_f]Bella[/name_f] entered the conversation? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you feel that your mother is likely to dig up some negative association with any name she doesn’t like? Or is this a one-off situation with this particular name? If it’s the latter situation, and if you generally have a good relationship with your mother and are invested in caring about her feelings, I would chose a different name.