See the results of this poll: if we like the full name but not the nicknames should we drop it form our list?
Respondents: 39 (This poll is closed)
- yes drop it : 15 (38%)
- no, just guide people to use the full name and not the nicknames: 24 (62%)
I guess imagine how you’ll feel if she decides she loves one of the nicknames as an older child or teen. If its a shrug, ok…then keep the name and regulate full name only when she’s little.
If you’d always cringe when she went by the nn, maybe best to drop it.
It depends how much you despise the nn, to me. I really dislike [name]Maddie[/name], but we went with [name]Madeline[/name] for our DD anyway. It was a big dilemma for me too, but I finally decided we could tell ppl to use her full name up until she is able to decide for herself. At that point we will no longer have control and it will be up to her what her friends call her, but she will still be [name]Madeline[/name] at home. Funny thing now is, now that we have her and she is the sweetest, cutest baby ever, I actually think I could live with [name]Maddie[/name] bc she is so sweet, she makes even [name]Maddie[/name] adorable. 
but we have no plans to nn her still! Good luck.
I ended up not using a few names that I really love fir this reason. I love [name]Bernadette[/name] but really dislike [name]Bernie[/name]…I would use [name]Bette[/name] if anything…
But I didn’t want to be chasing after my daughter & annoyingly correcting everyone throughout her childhood only to have her decide as a teen to go by [name]Berni[/name] or something.
[name]Do[/name] whatever you want. But if the nn you hate is the most popular or natural feeling one you should really consider moving on. Maybe there’s a name out there that you’ll love every version of!
I agree that if the nn is very natural to the name (like [name]Maddie[/name] for [name]Madison[/name], [name]Jen[/name] for [name]Jennifer[/name]), she will probably end up getting called the nn by her peers at some point. I think what really matters how much you love the full name. If you adore it, go for it!
I think you would really have to decide that for yourselves. I’m a huge nn person–I always wanted one and never had one, so I like the added bonus of nicknames whenever I find a name I love–so most names don’t have this problem for me, and I can usually find a nn I do like for a name. But there are some names ([name]Rachel[/name], [name]Violet[/name], [name]Hannah[/name], [name]Daphne[/name], etc.) where I would want her to only go by her full name… it hasn’t stopped me from loving them, mainly because they’re so short/only two syllables. I think it’s pretty unrealistic to expect a [name]Magdalena[/name] or an [name]Anastasia[/name] to never get a nn from anybody, but if it’s two syllables, why not? Half the nns out there are two syllables, so I don’t think it’s unrealistic to expect people to say the full [name]Charlotte[/name] over [name]Charlie[/name] or [name]Lottie[/name], for example.
I don’t have a teenager with a nickname I don’t like, so I don’t feel like I can truly tell you what to do. But I do have a 1-year-old with a longer name that is almost always shortened (think [name]Mike[/name]/[name]Michael[/name], [name]Ben[/name]/[name]Benjamin[/name]), and I can tell you that every single time (if I knew how to bold that, I would) I introduce him, people ask me what WE call him before calling him by the shortened name. I also have a name that is frequently shortened and I never went by a nickname and was never called anything other than my full name.
So my point is that I firmly believe you can easily control what your child is called when they are young – no question about it. My question for you is – would you still hate the nickname and cringe at it if your (older) child decided they WANTED to be known by that nickname? If so, I guess you should cross the name off, but it seems a shame if you love the name so much. And like saraallison noted – once you meet your little one or get to know your growing child, the nickname might not seem so bad.
I would shy away from a name if I didn’t like the nn, because I feel like it would be a content battle to keep people from using her full name rather than the common nn.
With that said, though, my neighbor’s little boy is named [name]James[/name], and I’ve never heard him referred to as anything BUT [name]James[/name]…by his family, our other neighbors, etc. Granted he’s in second grade, but still. It makes me think it could be possible.
It depends on what the name is. example: my daughter is [name]Geneva[/name]. We hate [name]Gen[/name] as a nickname, and have said we prefer [name]Geneva[/name], but will allow [name]Neve[/name], or [name]Neva[/name]. If she grows up and wants [name]Gen[/name], then that’s up to her. I doubt it though. However if your considering a name like [name]Kimberly[/name], the chances are she’ll get kim, since she probably won’t go by ley.
For the longest time [name]Alice[/name] was my favorite name. I had convinced myself that I would use it if I had a daughter. Eventually, the possibility of the nickname [name]Ally[/name] or [name]Ali[/name] (ugh, I really don’t like) wore me down. So, I still like [name]Alice[/name] a lot and might use it as a middle name, but that nickname possibility forced me to drop it as a first.
BUT! I know someone named [name]Kathryn[/name] that solely goes by [name]Kathryn[/name]. She’s never liked [name]Kate[/name], [name]Katy[/name], or [name]Kat[/name].
I suppose if YOU pushed for the whole name without nicknames while your child was young and then he or she also pushed for use of the whole name when they got older, then I’m positive it would work.
Im struggling with this myself at the moment [name]One[/name] of my favorite boys names is [name]Nathaniel[/name] but, i absolutely hate [name]Nat[/name] and that just seems like the Most natural nn. Almost like it would be unavoidable. Im not crazy for [name]Nate[/name] either although i dont despise it like i do [name]Nat[name]. As much as I [name]Love[/name] [name]Nathaniel[/name] i may end up dropping it which makes me sad. As much as i say we dont HAVE to use a nn its inevitable because all my kids go by both their full name and a nn equally as much.
If you love a name you should definatley use it despite bad or unliked NNs. You can always gently make it know that you prefer their full first name or a different NN be used
If you despise the nn then quit the name. You can’t control everyone, at some point the nn might appear.
Some names are almost begging for a nn… basically many 3+ syllable name. Although I have known an [name]Amanda[/name] who was never [name]Mandy[/name]. [name]Olivia[/name] will no doubt get [name]Liv[/name] or [name]Livvy[/name] at least sometimes, [name]Isabella[/name] will no doubt get [name]Izzy[/name], [name]Belle[/name] or [name]Bella[/name].
If it is a name that is ‘classically’ linked to nns then the likelihood of nns is even more so- eg [name]Elizabeth[/name] is bound to get something else.
It may be possible to call her by her full name, but I suspect the odd person may nn her. Depends on the name too.