With my parents, probably not. They are healthy, very well off financially and our personalities are very different when it comes to living and family life etc.
With my inlaws…I could see this as a future posibility. My husband is the youngest of 3 and the only one of his brothers who lives near (we are currently 20 minutes away…the other 2 are 5 hours away and 4 states away) and they are getting older and not as healthy as they once were (my [name]MIL[/name] is 68, FIL is 65) my FIL has already had one heart attack and [name]MIL[/name] has various ailments as well as her eyes are getting worse (condition she has had since she was a child)and she cannot drive at night any longer (per her drs orders) and before too long I am betting she will not be able to drive at all. I would hate to see them in a nursing home, not only using money they do not have to live there, but, they are such independant people that it would really not be emotionally good for either of them. If we decided to do some sort of situation like this, I would require separate living space (like an apartment etc where they lived off to the side of our home etc) as well as if there were any medical conditions we would have visiting nurses etc come for that sort of thing as they got older (I have a friend who cares for her aging mother, all by herself, and its very difficult…she wouldnt think to do visiting home care, but, I really wish she would, it would take the stress off her so much!) . It would be a very rich environment for everyone I think, but their personalities also play a big part in it as they are for the most part easy going, opinionated on certain things (they are very concervative when it comes to things like drinking, think everyone should go to church etc), but we do have a lot in common with them, moreso then with my parents. My DH and i have actually talked about this before…we just moved to a rental home this past weekend and eventually when we purchase another home (we are putting our former house on the market soon) we will talk about this again as my inlaws will only be getting older and frailer…
[name]How[/name] wonderful for your inlaws to know that they can depend on you come what may. In regard to your friend I can recommend home care where people can come into the home daily to help either as medical professionals or with home help/shopping/driving the aging person to medical appointments etc.
It takes commitment to the parent to see that they get the support they need to enable them to stay in their home environment for as long as possible, and it is possible that the siblings will need to provide financial aid to help provide for the necessary help.
Great to hear how caring and close you are to your inlaws.
SO and I have had this conversation. There’s no way you could pay to live with my mom or let her life with us. That is a relationship that is currently beyond repair. My dad however I would let live with me when he’s older as we get along pretty well. SO has agreed but is still hesitant since the two of them have their moments.
I’d live with my in-laws if it wouldn’t be so crowded. It would make 10 people living in a house with 3 real bedrooms and two improvised rooms. That’s way to many people around. Plus if we had kids that’s more people in a small house and two very different parenting styles
No thank you. I live in that kind of house and it is hell (pardon my language).
I want my own family in my own house, not an extend version of another. Call me selfish, but that’s how I envision it.
Also, personality clashes, my parents could never live in the same house as me as an adult, let alone me as a married adult.
And my SO’s parents clash tremendously with his personality, and a bit with mine. It’s just much healthier for us to remain in our seperate homes. I wouldn’t mind living in the same area as my SOs parents though, but most definitely not my mother, and likely not my dad. (Father and I have different neighbourhood tastes)
I’ve known many families that have done it though. It can work wonders for some.
