I am looking for, (sensitive), opinions on re-using a name. My DH and I miscarried a baby 8 years ago and named her [name]Sophia[/name]. [name]Sophie[/name] has been my all time favourite name since I was a young girl. We are currently expecting a DD in a few short weeks and haven’t been able to settle on a name at all. I have thought about using [name]Sophie[/name] but wondered if that would be just wrong or weird? Or if I would regret naming here essentially the same name as the baby we lost…
Looking for other people’s opinions on this subject, especially if you’ve ever wondered the same thing and either re-used a name or decided against it. Please be kind in your comments. Thanks
I am sorry for your loss but very happy for your new little one on the way! I see no reason why you cant incorporate the name [name]Sophie[/name] into her name (maybe as a middle?) or use it as a first if thats what you want. I dont think this is unheard of, I know my grandmother was named after a stillborn that came a few years before her and I dont think anyone ever thought it was weird or problematic. [name]Sophie[/name] is a beautiful name!
Personally, I don’t think it’s wrong or weird at all. I’d definitely not tell your DD about that when she’s older though. She might feel like she has high expectations to fill, that she wasn’t special enough for her own name, or that you long for your other daughter more. I can see issues arising.
Personally, I wouldn’t name a miscarried baby a “legitimate” name, especially that I really loved. Because I know I’d want to re-use it, and then this would be a kinda of issue I’d face.
But I don’t see anything wrong at all with naming DD to be [name]Sophie[/name]. And congrats on your pregnancy, best of wishes to you and your husband.
I think it is a perfectly fine idea. [name]Sophie[/name] is such a pretty name. If you decide you’re uncomfortable with [name]Sophie[/name] as a first name, you could always use it as the middle name.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I think, when it comes to reusing a name like this, it’s a very personal decision. Some parents don’t want the name they choose for their baby to remind them of what they have lost, while other parents want to keep the memory of their child alive. If you’re okay with using [name]Sophie[/name], I think it’s a great choice. It’s sweet, beautiful, and the meaning “wisdom” is lovely. It would be a nice tribute to your daughter.
I don’t think it’s a decision you have to keep away from this daughter, either. If you’re worried she’ll feel the pressure to live up to all the hopes you had for [name]Sophia[/name], you could maybe tell her one day that you named her [name]Sophie[/name] because you wanted her to have a special connection to her big sister, or something like that. I think it’s a very touching, and it’s a great way to keep the memory of your daughter alive. And, like @agirlinred said, if you’re uncomfortable with the reminders of your first daughter, you could always use it as a MN for this baby.
If I were in your situation, I wouldn’t reuse it as a first name. I’d definitely consider it for a middle name though. It’s a good way to honor [name]Sophia[/name] without feeling like you have another [name]Sophia[/name] (if that makes sense?). But that’s just me. I’ve never been in the situation, but that’s how I think I’d feel if I were.
I’m sorry for your loss. I know if it were me, I wouldn’t want to reuse a name. [name]Sophia[/name] is a beautiful name but I know, at least for me, it would be a constant reminder, but if you don’t feel it will be that way then I think it is your right to use it for this new little bundle.
I’m sorry for your loss, but very best wishes on your new little one.
Personally, I wouldn’t re-use the name, it sounds like its very attached your [name]Sophia[/name], and I think if you named the new baby [name]Sophia[/name] it might turn out that one of them turned into the ‘other [name]Sophia[/name]/first [name]Sophia[/name]’ in your mind. There are so many lovely names out there, I’m sure you can find one you’ll love as much as you love [name]Sophia[/name].
Congratulations! I wouldn’t consider reusing the name, it would be too painful for me. Have you thought about using [name]Sophia[/name]'s initials for this baby? That might be a nice way to keep her memory alive and give the new one a connection to her sister. Some ideas for a fn…
I think it is entirely up to you and not weird either way! I like the other posters’ suggestions of using it as a middle, or incorporating initials if you decide not to use it for a first. For what it’s worth, I was looking at my great-grandparents family tree recently–they had 13 children, but 4 died in childhood. They reused 3 of the names of actual children who had died on the next child! And each of their children had two middle names. Looking at the tree is so weird. But, I just bring it up to say, that makes reusing your name look totally normal. Good luck, whatever you decide.
For me it would be hard, because every time I said [name]Sophie[/name], I would think of little [name]Sophia[/name]. You could always do what [name]Molly[/name] [name]Piper[/name] did, her first daughter passed away, and she gave her second daughter her first daughter’s name as a middle name. I think that would be nice. But I don’t know if I’d want my name to be my sister’s name.
I am so sorry for your loss. I think that this is a very personal decision. I think it could be a beautiful way of honouring your baby that passed, but I have never been in this situation. You need to decide whether or not hearing the name and saying the name on a daily basis would be too painful for you. I do not think it is wierd to want to use this name again, though. Good luck, and congratulations on your new baby.
My first son was stillborn at 23 weeks. We hadn’t completely decided on a name for him- he was going to be a [name]Lincoln[/name] or a [name]Cooper[/name]. However, when we had him, neither name fit, and we went with [name]Samuel[/name] as a first name. We were blessed with our second son a year later, and we debated using [name]Lincoln[/name] or [name]Cooper[/name] again. What made my decision was the fact that even though we picked a different name, I still identified our first son as a [name]Lincoln[/name] or [name]Cooper[/name]. Therefore, we went with something else. We still talk about [name]Samuel[/name]- so for us, it was strange to use [name]Samuel[/name], [name]Lincoln[/name], or [name]Cooper[/name] because all three of those names are names we associate with our first son.
I honestly think it is a personal decision. I know many people asked if we were going to use one of the names we had considered for our first son on our second son and didn’t think there was anything odd about it. Everyone deals with losses differently- for some it would be too painful, while for others it would be a sweet reminder of their older child. I think [name]Sophia[/name] and [name]Sophie[/name] (although it is only one letter difference) give off a completely different feel/image, etc. Maybe a double first name like [name]Sophie[/name] [name]Anne[/name] or [name]Sophie[/name] [name]Rose[/name]? [name]Just[/name] to distinguish from [name]Sophia[/name] a little more.
My [name]MIL[/name] was given the same name as a still born sibling, and it seems to really bother her. I think it’s mostly because she didn’t know until she was doing some family tree research. So if you deside to use it as a first name, I suggest you always be open with her and explain that it was a beautiful name and she’s a beautiful girl so it was perfect for her. Personally though, I’d feel that using it as a middle name is a nicer way of honoring her memory.
Regardless, I’ sure whatever you go with will be lovely and perfect for your little girl. Good luck!
I had sort of the same thing happen except I only had six months between the loss of my first baby and conceiving my second. I too gave the baby I lost my favorite girls name, at the time I felt so connected to her it seemed like she should have it. My second pregnancy ended up being a boy and I used the masuline version of my daughters’s name for him which I also loved but before I knew he was a boy I went back and forth about reusing her name for him as well. Everyone is different but for me once I knew that my second baby was actually going become a baby that I got to hold in my arms and raise the power of his life dulled the pain of that first loss and I wanted to give him a name I truly loved. Ultimately had he been girl I think I would have reused the name. I think it is fine to use [name]Sophie[/name] if it isn’t too hard for you or your family, it’s a beautiful name and it is a slightly removed from your first daughter’s name so it is sort of like they each have their own name. Lots of luck with this difficult decision!
