So the other day, a few friends and I were talking about names we liked. [name]One[/name] friend likes boy names for girls, the other likes traditional names, and I like what I like… I’m not sure how to describe it.
Anyway, so I tell my friends “I really love the name ‘Capucine’ for a girl (prn: Cap-ooo-scene), and ‘[name]Gawain[/name]’ (gah-wain) for a boy.”
And the both look at me with disgust, and tell me my kids are going to hate me for those. It’s not the first time someone has said that too me, and to be honest it really hurts when people say that because I [name]LOVE[/name] the names. Capucine I just like how it flows, and [name]Gawain[/name] I love because of the character from the [name]King[/name] [name]Arthur[/name] stories.
Have you ever had people tell you that, and how do you react?
Never been told that, but if they did, even though it might hurt, I’d rather hear the truth than have them lie…
I have to admit that Capuchine and [name]Gawain[/name] are a little out there and it might be harsh to say your kids will hate you, but you have accept the possibility that they might. The names stand out and make them very unique. It could lead to teasing, mispronunciations, and misspellings.
My fiance’ told me he didn’t like [name]Euphemia[/name] because it’s too unique and weird and he fears it’s a possible name for teasing. He grew up with a friend who had a unique name, [name]Atticus[/name], and he grew up hating his name, so he’s very wary on names that are in his opinion too unique. I admit [name]Euphemia[/name] is a little out there and though I love it, we probably won’t ever use it.
It’s one thing to love a name, it’s another to realize that your not the one who has to live with it, so you got to keep in mind your child and how they would feel. Trying wearing the name yourself and see how people react to you, or imagine it if you aren’t comfortable going out and telling people your name is Capuchine…
I do agree the [name]Capucine[/name] can be a bit "out there, so I was thinking maybe I’ll just settle for a middle name with that one. [name]Gawain[/name] I can’t get over, theres too many reasons why I think its an amazing name for a man. If that one gets moved to a middle name, I’ll still call him by it. Its one of those names I feel like my son could appreciate when he gets older and learns about who [name]Gawain[/name] is and what he portrayed.
I am only a teenager but when my friends and I disguss names they always say [name]Evangeline[/name] is sssoooooooooo weird and it sounds like it’s made up. I’m thinking to my self no it is a literary name and the name of the girl in the beautiful poem written by [name]Henry[/name] Wadsworth [name]Longfellow[/name].
This sounds like a conversation between me and my husband :). We don’t have children yet, but we have spent some time discussing names. He thinks my style is “out there” and “weird,” while I find his style to be booooring.
I understand that hearing someone else say negative things about your most favorite names can be hurtful. I feel like I had to go through a grieving process when my husband absolutely vetoed some of my favorite names. But, on the flip side, I think it can be beneficial to hear not-so-positive feedback about names b/c the feedback might make me think of something I’ve never considered before. That being said, I’m much better at taking name feedback from my husband (after all, the kid will be 1/2 his); I think I would be a lot more offended if a rude remark came from a friend. Especially since many of my friends have naming styles I don’t like, and I don’t respond negatively to the names they mention.
I’ve never had anyone tell me that, but I have dealt with unpleasant facial expressions. My advice is daydream about names all you want now, but know that some of them will probably not happen. When it actually comes time to have kids, you have a significant other that gets half of the vote. I’ve had to let go of long-time name loves because of this. You also get to deal with family members that like to give input whether you ask for it or not (I’m looking at you, in-laws).
Diana_M-
Thats how I feel too. Majority of my friends have name styles different than mine. Names that have oomph to them stick to me much more than just a pretty sound, which is why I love [name]Gawain[/name] so much. Also, “pretty” names are too well… how can I say it, musical and whimsy to me. I feel like they need to be sung, which is fine but for my kids I want names that are firm and strong but still have that undertone of beauty. Like a beautiful warrior if that makes sense (sorry for the cheesiness! but thats an awesome way to describe it.) Thats why I love [name]Capucine[/name], Synneva, and [name]Imre[/name].
[name]Abelle[/name]-
My family is all about traditional names, nothing out the ordinary, besides my niece Sheradon (which isn’t that unordinary!).
I read my name list out to my mum and she looked at me in disgust. She told me that I couldn’t name my child these. I know what it feels like aikena5. My mum is not keen on my naming style and neither is my grandma, dad, granda, sister or anyone else in my family.
I just remembered something. I did have my mother say to me, “teachers are going to hate you”, in regards to my daughter’s name. Oh well. I’d much rather have teachers hating me then my child hating me. If you pick an “out there” name, you might try a more traditional middle name as a back up.
My mom tells me that all the time. She dislikes so many of the names that I like that now she thinks that I am playing some sort of game with her to find the most “hideous” name possible. I couldn’t actually like a name like [name]Agatha[/name], that would be absurd, and of course, “your child will hate you” if you use it. It is always difficult to hear, but neither of my parents particularly like their own names, so they have experience with the situation. I also love the name [name]Gawain[/name], but have been told of its unacceptability. Lately, I have let it go in favor of its modernized version, [name]Gavin[/name].
[name]Capucine[/name] is awfully close to capuchin (monkeys) and cappucino
My friends and my mom don’t like my favorite names and I don’t like theirs. We’re all straightforward and they nor I are all that thin-skinned so no hurt feelings. If a name is horrible I would rather hear the truth and be a little hurt then to be lied to and end up making a bad decision that could’ve been prevented. It’s always good to hear honest opinions because they may open your eyes to things you’ve missed (which is why I don’t agree with keeping names secret until after the baby is named)
My mom loved the name [name]Eugenia[/name] for me, everybody else hated it. I am so so glad they didn’t sugarcoat things and tell her to “go with what she loved” as is so often repeated on these forums. Sometimes what you love is awful and a true friend would tell you that. Then it’s up to you to take it or leave it
I’ve never been told my kids would hate me for my naming style likely because it’s pretty tame stuff.
But as a child who greatly dislikes her name, and intends to change the lot of it, it’s very important to keep in mind your child’s potential feelings towards the name. Anything too out there is more likely to be hated by the wearer, it’s just a trend I’ve noticed, and I’ve grown up with tons of kids with out of the top 1000, hell even the top 2000 names.
Keep in mind that just because you love a more out there name doesn’t mean your child will, and also the opinions of others will affect how your child feels about her/his name. Teasing, scoffs, mispronunciations, misspellings, automatic shortening to nicknames are all factors that will likely make your child dislike their name.
I think picking an unusual, out there name just because one likes the sound is on of the worst reasons to go with it. If there’s deeper meaning to it, then that’s one thing but just “Oh I like the sound.” or “Oh I wanted a name out of the top 1000”, are poor reasons, imo.
I think it’s important to realize that just because one likes a name doesn’t mean their child will, and also the fact that it’s not the namer who’s carrying the name, it’s the namebearer.
You may love the name Xenophilus to death, but it’s your child who has to go through life with the name, not yourself.
east93, I like your perspective, and it is very well-said. It’s hard to predict whether a child will like their name in the long run, however, you’re right in that the opinions of others and the various name hassles we may encounter are likely to affect our feelings about our name, whether or not they ought to. Especially as a child and a young adult!
My sister told me that once. Her names aren’t my style either, so I really didn’t care.
I’ve never talked about the names I love outside of Nameberry or other online name nerdy places. I don’t plan to until I have a husband to discuss them with either. To be honest, I’m just not interested in hearing opinions from anyone I know. I’m the person who would keep baby’s name a secret until after baby had been born and named. People are a lot less likely to say ugly things when there’s an adorable baby in their arms.
Honestly? There are [name]PLENTY[/name] of good reasons for people to hate their parents. Physical/sexual/emotional abuse, serious neglect, etc. An unusual name, however? That is a really, really stupid reason to hate a parent. If my kids ever come to me and complain that I’ve ruined their lives by naming them [name]Marigold[/name] or [name]Atlas[/name], I’ll remind them that their names are deeply meaningful, important, ancient, beautiful, and above all, painstakingly thought out years before they were even born! I think only a real brat would hate their parent for caring THAT MUCH about them.
And if your kids hate their names, well, that’s what nicknames and middle names and legal name-changes are for.