So anyone who hangs out on nameberry long enough knows the rules that most name-nerds tend to fall back on when choosing a favorite name for someone else or giving advice to someone with a different style than our own: contrasting syllable count (3-1-2, 2-3-1, 2-1-3, 4-3-2), letter/sound variation (separate similar sounds and letters, no alliterations, variant endings), nothing too theme heavy (don’t double up nature, color, literary, heavily historical, place, or word names), gender clarity (at least one gender defining name in a set), and less so but still obvious from the polls and advice I see given: “freshness” over past popularity ([name]Cassia[/name] > [name]Christine[/name], [name]Sebastian[/name] > [name]Stephan[/name], [name]Penelope[/name] > [name]Patricia[/name], [name]Ezra[/name] > [name]Eric[/name]).
BUT what about the names you love that don’t follow the rules for your last name?? Would you use a name you [name]LOVE[/name] over one that follows “the rules”? Are some rules more breakable than others to you? DID YOU break any of these rules while naming? [name]Do[/name] you have kids yet; did you follow the rules; are you happy with the name or names you ended up going with? Does your name follow “the rules” and how does that shape your naming plans? Please share!!
I think that the “rules” are generally helpful. If used correctly, I think that they guide one to the best choice in MOST cases. But someone told me that there were rules against using [name]Marlowe[/name] on a girl because the -o ending sound was predominantly male. This is true, but I love the name, so it’s still on my list.
So…I think that the rules are good to think about, but they’re not set in stone. If you love something that goes against the rules, then screw the rules.
I think the rules are nice suggestions, but kind of ridiculous to actually live by. I think my middle name is used about once a year, and I don’t even know the middle names of most people I know. So it really doesn’t matter if the flow is off, and plenty of people have awkward first-last combos or out-of-style names and have never suffered for it.
I would choose a name based on meaning, or how much I liked it- I definitely don’t set rules for myself, aside from avoiding names that I think are too out-there to use.
I think that some rules definitely matter more than others; don’t name your baby Stinky Stinklestein for instance. (Parents do do this). But if you really love a name, and it isn’t incredibly tasteless, stick to it.
I have tried to follow some naming rules when naming my son and in choosing a name for the next one (still ttc).
However we frequently use double middle names in my family which may go against some name rules…
My son’s name is 2-2-2-4 and it works! In fact the four names I think sounds better in this case than using either middle alone.
If we had a girl it would be 3-2-1-4
If we have another boy it will likely be 2-1-2-4
Lots of babies/children I have cared for have had beautiful names and their parents did not seem to follow any particular naming “rules” as far as I could tell.
I did nanny two toddler brothers (ages 2 & 3) a couple of years ago whose names were technically both “place names”, although only one would be very obvious as a place name to anyone not living near my area (this family did not; in fact, they hailed from TX!). So, no bother, [name]IMO[/name]!! Their names were: 2-2-1 & 2-1-1 and both sounded great. I am personally a 2-2-2 and have never had a problem with it; in fact, I think my name flows well. The whole number ‘system’ seems a tad too strict for my taste and I personally do not base my naming styles around it. “Themed” names I can understand avoiding when taken to a particular obvious extreme.
I think my biggest ‘rule’ personally is to try not to use the same first name initial more than once (i.e., [name]Miles[/name] & [name]Moses[/name], or [name]Alina[/name], [name]Anna[/name], & [name]Abigail[/name]). I have worked with a few families who had 2 or more children with the same first initial, and labeling everything takes more time & effort, as does logging information, etc…so that is sort of a helpful ‘rule’ in my book!
Naming rules are not absolute. They’re just parameters that generally work, [name]IMO[/name].
Personally, I sometimes like first and middle name alliteration, but the names have to be just right to pull it off successfully. However, the other rules of letter/sound variation are important to me - last letter must differ, the last letter of first name and first letter of middle AND last name should not be the same, the first and last name should not start with the same letter (although mine does, and I [name]LOVE[/name] my name, and the reason it was given to me - first name anyway).
I think some first and middle names with the same number of syllables work - if the number of letters are different enough (i.e., a very short two syllable name like [name]Eva[/name] paired with a long two-syllable name like [name]Constance[/name]).
I think it’s all relative and they are more guidelines than rules.
My daughters name has a 2-2-2 patern and we thought about changing her middle name but in the end the love of the names and the meaning behind our choices trumped the rule.
I think its more important that the parents love the name rather than focus on “rules” such as the syllable count. The names I currently love for future children breaks a nameberry “rule”, but we love the names and they have a lot of meaning for us.
Thanks, everyone. I’m struggling with my short list for a boy due in [name]October[/name] and I am so torn about a few of the names on my list that I really love but break some of the rules. My SO has approved the list and isn’t at all worried about my rules because his name breaks them and he is no worse for the wear. I really appreciate the feedback. More is welcome!
There’s that old additive of “learn the rules so you can break them” and I think this hold true nicely for names as well.
I think it’s helpful to fully understand the “rules” and why they are “rules” and make sense in many cases - once you know them in and out you can also break those rules sucessfully and not just end up with a hot-mess. If that makes sense. However, in the end naming your child something that you love is more important than anything else.
Yep, I agree with this.
As much as I would probably try to have a pretty flowing first and middle if I was naming a child, in reality it matters not at all.
And as much as I’d try to find a name that didn’t clash with my surname, for a good portion of the population they’ll change their surname at some point in their life and it won’t matter any more
There are definitely some names that I like despite the fact that they don’t get a good response here. It’s all just opinion anyway so I think you’d go crazy if you took seriously everything you read here!
I have a few set-in-stone rules, such as no names ending in the same sounds as [name]Henry[/name] and [name]Julia[/name]. However, I have other rules that I want to follow but can be broken, such as no repeating first letters and the name should be similar in style to H & J. [name]Amelia[/name] will always be out but I could still use [name]Hazel[/name]. Syllable count doesn’t bother me at all.
I think of the rules more as guidelines for a great name, there’s always more to consider when naming your child than just these rules though. Plus I think the #1 rule of baby naming is: [name]LOVE[/name] THE NAME and you can’t go wrong
My brother, his son and I all have 3-2-3 names and they sound fine and my sister is 2-2-3, also sounds fine. I think the actual sounds have wayyyyy more to do with it than number of syllables, that seems like a silly rule. Most Italians for example (like my siblings and I) have longer last names and still use several syllables in a first.
My oldest daughter has a 2-2-2 name. I think it works because the stress is put on the first syllable in all three of her names. My second daughter has a very dated name as her middle name. I wasn’t as concerned about naming rules when I named them. I think my 3rd and 4th daughters have names that are more in line with nameberry style.
I’ve broken the “rules” with both my sons’ names! I decided the meaning and family history were more significant factors than rules. However, it is still important that the first and last names have a good flow and do not clash.
