Your thoughts on name changes

General Name Discussion
1

For many years I’ve been displeased with my name for various reasons.
Finally, I decided that I was going to legally change my name, and rename myself. I am currently in the process of doing so.

I do find moments where I think to myself, that maybe I can just change a middle name into something I like and go by that periodically instead, but then something will occur soon after, that reminds me of why I dislike my name, and remind me of one of the many reasons why I want to change it.

My main question really, is how others view name changes, and how they react to them. I already have ideas on how my family will react. (Mother will not be happy, probably will refuse to co-operate. Father will think it’s silly, but be more likely to co-operate. Brothers will think it’s silly, but will co-operate etc.)
I’m very curious as to how other people will as well ad I will be starting university either this fall or next, and will be meeting lots of new people.

Is there a certain point where I should mention that I’ve changed my name? Or is that something no one ever really needs to know? (Minus serious boyfriends/future husband)

If any of you have ever changed your name was it worth it or not?
Did you have a lot of negativity regarding it from others, or was it a welcomed change?
[name]How[/name] would you react to someone who changed their entire name, and what would you think?

2

I think if you’re seriously unhappy with your given name, and have been for a long while, and have given a lot of thought into changing your name, that you definitely should! There’s no need to go through life unhappy with your name when you can just change it :slight_smile: Maybe change it to something sort of similar to your given name so people will adjust better. If not, just explain to people you already know that you were unhappy so you did something about it! If you’re happy with your new name you should be confident about it, and I don’t think changing your name is something to be embarrassed or ashamed of! The way I see it, you took control of something you were unhappy with instead of just complaining. Maybe just bring it up in random conversation with new people, and act like it’s not a big deal! Good luck :slight_smile:

3

I agree that if you’re unhappy with your name, you should change it! I don’t think people necessarily need to know that your name has been changed–maybe if they get close enough to your family, it’s a secret you can share with them, but otherwise, why bother? You would be _____ now, not your old name.

More power to the people who actually have the guts to go through changing their names, haha. From the time when I was young (probably as young as 7 or so), I really disliked my name and wanted to change it. [name]Ashley[/name] was so boring and I thought it was weird that my uncle’s MN was my FN. And [name]Marie[/name] was so filler and I absolutely hated [name]Marie[/name] [name]Antoinette[/name] with a passion, lol. I didn’t think I was an [name]Ashley[/name], and I thought it was such an ugly name. I told myself in college that I was going to change it (realistically, I should have done it between high school and college, but that wasn’t going to happen, lol), but when I actually started looking at names, all the names that I thought I should be didn’t suit me. I wasn’t a [name]Maggie[/name] or a [name]Lily[/name] or a [name]Grace[/name] or an [name]Allie[/name] or any other name I came up with. And then the most frustrating thing in the world happened–I fell in love with the name [name]Ashley[/name]! It suited me perfectly and I actually loved it. I hated that I loved it (I was so looking forward to being a new person), but I loved it, and I knew I wouldn’t change [name]Ashley[/name]. I still hated [name]Marie[/name], though (and still pretty strongly dislike it), so I was going to change just that, and keep [name]Ashley[/name]. I tossed around several options (I remember the top of my list being [name]Ashley[/name] [name]Isabelle[/name], which is weird, since [name]Isabelle[/name] is now my favorite girls’ name and wasn’t even close to being on my list back then! I just liked [name]Isabella[/name] and didn’t think [name]Ashley[/name] [name]Isabella[/name] sounded as good), but in the end, it seemed silly just to change my MN when I would still be just [name]Ashley[/name]. So I gave it up. And I realize I was [name]Ashley[/name] [name]Marie[/name]. I still have lingering doubts (especially lately), and I start to wonder if there’s a name that would suit me better, and then I look at myself in the mirror, and tell myself, “You dummy. You know you’re still [name]Ashley[/name].” lol.

But yeah, if you can find a new name that you will be comfortable in and that you’ll love, use it! Change your name. Somebody should be able to. :slight_smile: I’ve decided that if I’m ever a published novelist, though, I’ll come up with a truly awesome pseudonym. :slight_smile:

4

I think if you really want to change your name and have the courage to do so, you should go for it.

I also have always disliked my first name and have flirted with the idea of changing my name but I haven’t done so for two reasons.

First, I’d have to commit to another name, and being the indecisive person that I am, that would be a difficult matter. (I’ve never gotten a tattoo for the same reason). What if I chose a name now and 2 years later I like another better…

The other reason is, I think, similar to what [name]Ashley[/name] said. [name]One[/name] definitely learns to identify oneself with a certain name. So even if you dislike it, if someone calls you by your name, in your mind, you immediately respond. Recently I have given my middle name - [name]Eve[/name] - to people I’ve just met. Now this is actually part of my name, but nobody ever called me by my middle name, so when someone says, “[name]Eve[/name]”, I’m just like, “[name]Eve[/name], [name]Eve[/name]…Oh, that’s me!” It’s feels strange, as if they are talking to someone else. I suppose, though, that after awhile it would become your identity too. I wonder how long that would take?

But again, if you find a name you love, you should do it. And I don’t think you need to tell everyone you meet that you changed your name.

5

I think that if you’re [name]TRULY[/name] unhappy with your name and find it a hindrance in daily life, you should be allowed to change it. However, I think a change of name is something you should think through and discuss with your friends and family.

I’ve often thought of it. I’m sure most name nerds have. I’ve been told I look like a [name]Yasmin[/name] by my mother and a [name]Jasmine[/name] by my friends, which is a weird coincidence, lol. That’s not why I’d change it personally. [name]Amber[/name] isn’t an awfully serious name, and in the US many consider it “dated”, “'80s”, “trashy”, “strip club”, etc. Also I was always so jealous of ALL the girls around me who ALL had the pretty, classy quintessential British names like [name]Olivia[/name], [name]Beatrice[/name], [name]Eleanor[/name], [name]Arabella[/name], [name]Catherine[/name], [name]Emily[/name] and so on.

But… [name]Amber[/name] is my name that I have had for 15 years. Like naitza and [name]Ashley[/name] said, most of us are suited, in the eyes of ourselves and those around us, to the names we have always had. My name is attached to me and I’m attached to it, as soppy as that sounds. Like [name]Ashley[/name], I look in the mirror and I don’t see a [name]Yasmin[/name] or a [name]Jasmine[/name] or anything else but me, [name]Amber[/name]. :slight_smile:

(Now I’m glad I stand out from my classmates with my name. What’s the name [name]Eleanor[/name] next to [name]Beatrice[/name] and [name]Arabella[/name]? Nothing distinctive [name]IMO[/name], though there’s nothing wrong with the names themselves.)

At one point I considered [name]Amberly[/name] / [name]Ambrosia[/name] / Ambrosine with nn [name]Amber[/name] but that still doesn’t feel like me. I considered [name]Ember[/name], too, but nah. As for [name]Yasmin[/name]/[name]Jasmine[/name]? When I ask people if I look more like a [name]Yasmin[/name]/[name]Jasmine[/name] than an [name]Amber[/name], they say I look way more like an [name]Amber[/name].

So I actually do the same as [name]Ashley[/name] when I have doubts. All it takes is a glance in the mirror, or a sardonic comment from my cousin about how I won’t stop whining about my name to remind me that no matter how much I would love to be a [name]Gabrielle[/name] or a [name]Mina[/name], I’m [name]Amber[/name]. :slight_smile:

I think you need to share it with your family if they are not taking it seriously. That’s probably WHY they’re not taking it seriously - serious matters are often shared around the family. Explain thoroughly to them why you want a name change. Also think about how you and everyone around you will adjust to the new name. If you find a name you and your family are comfortable with, go for it. Good luck!

6

My hubby had an awful name that he always hated. About 8 years ago we moved towns and he just started introducing himself as a variant of his real name (like [name]Jack[/name] instead of [name]John[/name] for eg). If it comes up in a discussion he will mention his old name but everyone uses the name he introduced himself with. I don’t think that anyone has ever questioned the reason or had a negative reaction. It probably took his existing friends a while to get into the habit of using the new name but that is fair enough. His mum is a hold out and will probably call him by his old name forever. His dad and the rest of the family mostly use new name.

It isn’t a secret but it doesn’t often get talked about because why would you? You know people as they are introduced and once 3/4 of the people you know and associate with use a certain name the other people tend to get on board as well naturally (like how a nickname catches on). He doesn’t explain himself just says ‘hi, I’m x’ and leaves it at that. Sometimes I slip up and use the old name and someone might comment then but not in a bad way.

Using a variant has probably helped with the legal stuff. I don’t think he would have regretted his decision for one second, probably wishes he had done it sooner.

Good luck.

7

I go back and forth on this a lot. I’ve always loathed my name, but I might find it hard to let go of it. I still really want to change though, and will probably use Elise as a middle name because I’m worried my grandma will be disappointed that I’m getting rid of her name (Elizabeth). I want a whole new first name though, because I’m so not a Rose (and definitely NOT Rosie, yuck!) it’s not funny.

8

I had a friend name [name]Juliet[/name] [name]Nicole[/name] who hated her name. She went by [name]Leah[/name] until she was 17, and legally changed her name. Now we call her [name]Kailey[/name] [name]Ashlin[/name]. Her new name suits her perfectly.

– 24 year old mom

9

I generally dislike my name, but not enough to change it…I have toyed with the idea though.

If an old friend told me suddenly to start calling her something different this would be my take on it:

  1. If the new name was something similar to the first name (like a [name]Louise[/name] becoming [name]Tallulah[/name] for example. Some connection between name 1 & name 2 I would adjust pretty easily and maybe mess up and say name 1 from time to time. If name 1 wasn’t really a bad name or if I didn’t agree with the reasoning behind it I might think my friend was a bit dramatic, but I would cooperate.

  2. If the new name had no connection to the old name I think it would be harder to remember and I would feel bad if I messed up & called them the old name in the company of people who didn’t know about name 1!

10

I have legally changed my name. I had no middle name and my name was very hard to explain. I would read it everywhere and hear it on the radio (shampoo commercials) but it was not meant for me. I found a name similar to my name (same origin, also known in the year I was born) and picked it. Kept my first and only name as my middle name, in case I have to show my future employer my diploma’s.

It’s not something I decided overnight. I really had to think about a good name for myself. My husband wasn’t very cooperative but he understood why I wanted to change it, since he felt a bit ashamed to say my name too…