A dilemma only a namenerd could have! Full names or nicknames for wedding invitations

I’m addressing my wedding invitations and am not sure whether to put the guest’s full name or nickname on them.

In some cases, they always use their nickname and I wouldn’t have known they had a longer full name without having asked (because I’m curious!) or having seen their driver’s license or something. And there are some who have their full name on Facebook/etc. so people do know what it is, but people don’t actually call them that - in those cases it feels less weird to use their full name?

On one hand I like that it feels more formal to use full names, but is it weird when they always go by their nickname we’ve literally never called them by their full name?

If you go exclusively by your nickname, would it feel more natural to have your nickname or full name on an invitation?

Thanks, Berries! :slight_smile:

First of all congratulations! :heart:

Now on the question, i would personally use the full names. It seems more formal this way to me. I go exclusively by a nickname but in invitations, they always use my formal name, and I like it that way.

I go by AJ and have since 6th grade. So, any friends who would invite me to a wedding have always known me as AJ, and have only known me as AJ. In fact, at 27, I’ve been exclusively referred to as AJ for most of my life now. I have never once, by any friend of mine, been called [name_f]Amanda[/name_f]. So it’d be really weird to get an invitation from one of them addressed to [name_f]Amanda[/name_f]. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though they KNOW that’s my full name, they have never called me by it and I can’t imagine any reason why they would.

If your friends are like me, and that’s all they’ve ever been called by you and all anybody has called them for most, if not all, their life - then I would use their nicknames. That’s who they are everywhere else besides legal documents and the occasional Facebook account. (Which may be done for family as opposed to friends. I have ‘[name_f]Amanda[/name_f]’ listed as another name for my family’s sake; so they can find me and know it’s the right AJ, or so people like my distant grandparents remember who the heck I am since they don’t remember me as AJ, they remember me as [name_u]Mandy[/name_u]/they forget that I go by AJ often.)

I get the appeal of wanting to make everything proper and official and fancy, weddings are like that, but your friends are still your friends at the end of the day. If you wouldn’t call [name_u]Jackie[/name_u], [name_f]Jacqueline[/name_f], any other day of the week, then there’s no reason to for one single day. Especially since they’re going to be the only ones who even see the invitations. That’s the way I see it anyway. It’s one piece of paper, for one single day, that only your friend is going to see. Why not use the same name you’ve always used for them? Especially for names where it barely makes a difference. Like [name_f]Tina[/name_f] goes by [name_f]Tia[/name_f]. That’s just one letter off, it’s no big deal to leave it off, y’know?

I also love the familiarity of seeing my nickname when I go to get the mail. It lets me know that what I’ve just received comes from somebody who knows me, somebody who cares about me. When I see ‘[name_f]Amanda[/name_f]’ I always assume it comes from the bank or the cell phone company. So there’s that aspect too. [name_m]How[/name_m] will [name_u]Nick[/name_u] feel seeing something addressed to [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]? Does that take away the familiarity of your friendship? [name_m]Will[/name_m] that make him go “woah, what the heck? Why’d they call me [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]???” Does that maybe make the invite now feel forced to be formal? I’d definitely feel like my best friend sending an invite to ‘[name_f]Amanda[/name_f]’ over ‘AJ’ would come across as forced and make me cringe a little. I’d be texting them right after like “wtf? Did you do the invites or somebody else??? WHO IS [name_f]AMANDA[/name_f]???” lol

Either way, [name_m]MAJOR[/name_m] CONGRATS!!! [name_f]Hope[/name_f] you have a wonderful wedding day!!!

Hmm that’s a hard one. Unfortunately, I think it’s a personal opinion that would change from person to person. @bellerose said she’d rather be addressed by her full name versus her nickname but I’d rather be addressed by my nickname. Partly (maybe mostly) because I’d be very annoyed if someone spelled my full name wrong, which happens quite frequently even with my closest friends. I’d prefer to see [name_u]Abby[/name_u] on the invitation but mostly because I’m worried I’d see [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] (or something ridiculous and more wrong like [name_f]Abbigayle[/name_f]—yes that’s how someone has spelled my name before. I had known them for 2 years at that point) over [name_f]Abigael[/name_f].

I also don’t think you need to be consistent for everyone. If you know a close friend goes by their nickname, only their nickname, and nothing but their nickname, then I think it’s okay to address it to them as such. If the nickname is an informal thing that they go by with friends but otherwise they use their full name, I’d say use their full name.

Congrats on your wedding!!

I actually went very liberal on mine - I addressed my invites with personal/meaningful nicknames or titles. It made things really, really personal, and friends knew that I really put thought into their individual invites. They loved it! The invite eventually (sooner rather than later) goes in the trash, but the feelings stay forever :slight_smile: