Hello and thank you for having me. As someone who had a love-hate …mostly hate, relationship with her name growing up, I don’t want to get it wrong now that it’s my turn to name someone. This is something no one around me seems to understand. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents like nothing, my husband likes everything and his mantra has been “you pick the names you like and I’ll like it”, and find neither posture particularly supportive.
This weird naming enviornment is mixed with the fact that we’re trying to name two children instead of one. I always pictured myself as the mother of an only child, so adjusting my mind to having two has made the process of picking names all the more anxiety-inducing.
This is the state of affairs:
My parents and relatives hate the name I’ve been “feeling” the most for a boy: [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u]. I like the lenght, sound and slight quirkiness of it, plus it was inspired by a historic figure both my husband and I admire. I’ve gotten “ridiculous” and “bully-magnet” as commentary on it, and now I don’t want to share the idea with anyone out of fear it will be stomped on. But I also don’t want to get a death grip on it, only for my family to be right and use the “wrong” name for him. The other name I like is [name_m]Luther[/name_m], but if [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] made everyone angry I can’t imagine what the reaction to [name_m]Luther[/name_m] will be.
I can’t find names for our daughter. [name_f]My[/name_f] list is a little flimsy looking, because I’ve been trying to find inspiration in history and personal heroes of mine to get her name. This is what I have so far: [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] (as a double first name), [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] on its own, [name_f]Virginia[/name_f], [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f], [name_f]Corine[/name_f] and [name_f]Larissa[/name_f]. I’ve also considered using plain old [name_f]Mary[/name_f], or pairing any of the other names with [name_f]Mary[/name_f] (so [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_f]Beatrice[/name_f], [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_f]Virginia[/name_f], [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_f]Corine[/name_f]). Now I’m also getting the commentary that the hyphen makes the names look clunky, so who knows? I might be the worst namer out there.
Chauncey is actually really cute! I just wish it had better nicknames incase he want’s something shorter. Maybe [name_u]Chi[/name_u] or [name_m]Cy[/name_m]. Those are cute. For your girls my favorite would probably be [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f] [name_f]Mary[/name_f], with [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f] as a first and [name_f]Mary[/name_f] as a middle. I also like [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f], [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f] and [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Virginia[/name_f]. I’m personally not a fan of the hyphen. I would prefer if it was just having two first names, without the hyphen. I really love all of your options!
I don’t think we’re going to use middle names. For us, it is typical and somewhat expected to receive new names through different events and accomplishments, and we want to leave the middle name room open in case our son and daughter want to incorporate one of those new names into their official name. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband’s family did this, and I think it was a very wise choice. I kind of wish I wasn’t given a middle name so I could do the same with my “adult” names.
This is why I’m tempted to use a double first name for our daughter. [name_f]Mary[/name_f] is important to me but I also feel like it’s not the most interesting or attractive name on its own.
I am okay with names that don’t have a nickname. It’s not a dealbreaker at least. I get the feeling that we’ll use nicknames not related to their name, more related to their personalities or their interests. but who knows…
Thank you so much for replying and helping. Have a flower. .
From your options like [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f]. And [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] is very cool, unless they had a valid point about bullying I would ignore your family
I love your boys name ([name_u]Chauncey[/name_u]) and your girls name ([name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_f]Cecilia[/name_f]). At the end of the day it is your partner and yourself choosing the babies names and raising them, and if those names are on your heart and you think they’re the ones then you should use them.
When I was growing up my Granny didn’t like my cousins name ([name_f]Talia[/name_f]) at first but as time went on she couldn’t see her with any other name.
Thank you for sharing that Gemma2002, I’m glad your granny warmed up to [name_f]Talia[/name_f]’s name! I want to believe this could happen if [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] is our final name for our boy.
I definitely think [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] is a bit too quirky? I understand where your family is coming from but I also understand that you really like it. It’s useable but not my thing. Maybe a good compromise would be [name_m]Klaus[/name_m], [name_u]Quincy[/name_u] or [name_u]Chandler[/name_u]?
I love [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f]! I can totally see a double barrel name but it does make more sense to leave out the hyphen (I think it just looks cleaner that way). [name_f]Virginia[/name_f] is also nice! [name_m]Can[/name_m] I suggest [name_f]Celia[/name_f] and [name_f]Georgina[/name_f]?
Wow, that sounds like a lot to deal with! I think step one (even though it’s so hard) is to just ignore what your parents think (or might think) right now and don’t share names with them until you’re 100% sure that no matter what they may say you love your name choices. You are absolutely right that is is your turn! Plus, if you are tempted to share or be swayed, remember that you have lived with the results of their name choices. That love-hate relationship you have with your name is not something you want for your children or to feel about the names you give! You’ve got this!
Second step: when you’ve got a few names (which you do! Yay!) have your husband help with some admittedly ridiculous name tests. Like, yell each full name through your house like you’re calling a child for dinner, or like you’ve just seen them take off somewhere with a permanent marker. Pretend to answer phones using the names. I think one or both of you will realize things about usability and sounds you like, and he might suddenly have more opinions. At the very least, you’ll have the knowledge that he helped.
Now, on to the names: I like both [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] and [name_m]Luther[/name_m]! [name_m]Luther[/name_m] is more my style, but both are totally useable. Also, being able to share a name story with your son (like the fact that the name is meaningful and why) can always help him feel like you were being thoughtful and loving with his name even IF he doesn’t love it. The fact that you and your husband have a story makes me feel like [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] fits!
For your daughter, I do think saying the name aloud in a ton of different emotions and sound levels will help. I think the hyphenated names look fine, even if they are long, but I would cut any that feel clunky to you and your husband when you say/hear them.
That said, you describe [name_f]Mary[/name_f] as “Plain Old [name_f]Mary[/name_f]”… So it may just not be the right name, no matter how meaningful it may be. There are some really beautiful [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-ish names, or maybe a place swap would help? Like, instead of [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_f]Virginia[/name_f], you use [name_f]Virginia[/name_f]-[name_u]Marie[/name_u]? Or [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f]-[name_f]Mary[/name_f]?
You have truly beautiful names on your list. If I had to put them in the order I like best (which is super subjective) I’d say:
Beatrice - it’s a classic!
Cecilia - It’s on your list twice and sounds lovely with your boy options!
Mary-[name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] - if you really want that [name_f]Mary[/name_f], this is beautiful. If you don’t mind a [name_f]Mary[/name_f] swap, I also like [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f]-[name_u]Marie[/name_u].
Virginia - Another classic, and it’s so pretty!
Larissa - So sweet
Corine - It’s only in “last” on the list because all your other names are so pretty! [name_f]Corine[/name_f] a great name.
Hello! Personally I feel it’s very overwhelming especially with having two and not one! Your concerns are valid so I don’t think you should dismiss them! If your having trouble finding baby names you come to the right site! I do think that while it’s discouraging to have your name shot down! It’s ultimately your decision! If peer opinion does matter however (it does for me I’m such a push over ) might I recommend similar names:
• [name_u]Chance[/name_u] is a alternative I love over [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u]
• [name_u]Sinclair[/name_u] is a similar vibe to your chosen name and also unisex
• [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] is also around the same category so maybe something more “acceptable”
For historical baby names I recommend this video by YouTuber SJ Strum (check out her other baby names also I quite enjoy them https://youtu.be/1fJrP4QovNU
Along with that girl name wise I think it would be quite nice if it was also unisex though I can see how it’s important to want role model names! If you wouldn’t mind suggestion I love
[name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] and [name_f]Juliet[/name_f]
[name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] and [name_u]Sinclair[/name_u]
[name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] and [name_u]Darby[/name_u]
[name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] and [name_f]Maribelle[/name_f]
[name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] and [name_f]Clover[/name_f]
Last ones a wildcard but hope my suggestions brought some help or at the very least eased concerned btw I think if you mention [name_m]Luther[/name_m] to the family it’ll be taken with more positivity as it’s considered more acceptable (though if you hate your name why ask for opinion by the family that names you ), my brothers wife was very indecisive over names and had the same view as your husband does this caused greater stress and pressure on my brother so I suggest you do what he did! Push them to make a baby list
Hi I came up with suggestions of girls name in your other thread.
Firstly Chauncey and Luther are great boys names. They seem really dignified and classic.
As for your girl name I love Virginia and Cecelia and I think they would match up to Chauncey and Luther. I think Mary does not match well mainly because it seems a bit weak compared to your boy choices. I don’t like hyphen names much either if I’m honest.
I made some suggestions for girl names on your other post but there are a lot of girl names which are longer and more distinguished which you could get Mary as a nickname from, which I think would work better.
Other boys names you may like too which have similar vibe are
Elliott
Willoughby
Darcy
Beckett
Everett
Evander
Jacobi
Bennett
Benedict
Arlo
Dalton
Gideon
Leopold
Sebastian
Pierre
Vincent
Xavier
Phineas
Clarence
If you and your husband really love the names, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks - including your family. [name_f]My[/name_f] family is very opinionated on names and we didn’t give that any consideration. They are your children to name, not theirs. They will love your kids no matter what their names are.
I am very curious to know about the tradition of getting new names thru your life? What is that about? It sounds very interesting, would you mind explaining?
[name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] isn’t my style, but it definitely isn’t “ridiculous” or a “bully-magnet”! I think it’s quite handsome! I think I prefer it to [name_m]Luther[/name_m].
For girls, I love both [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] and [name_f]Mary[/name_f] (I wouldn’t do a double barreled name, but that’s just me)
I could cry reading your messages. What gives me peace about them is that even if some of you would not use [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u] or consider it suits your style, it also doesn’t strike you as a terrible thing to name someone. That’s really all I’m going for. Considering that I disliked my name as a child (and today I wouldn’t call it the best) but so many people have told me it’s different in a good way, I guess everyone has a different perspective. Obviously, I would love it for my daughter and son to love the names we give them at birth, but it’s kind of a hit and miss. Naming someone seems like a high-risk activity.
This is a very good point! I won’t say it outloud, but I’ll keep it on the back of my head in case things get negative again.
This is also something I’ve thought about long and hard. I’ve long admired the women named [name_f]Mary[/name_f] that come to mind as role models for my daughter, but there’s more to them than their names. I don’t know. I do like [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-something but it doesn’t have to be this way. Thank you! I am “feeling” [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] the most at the moment.
Our naming system is complex to say the least, and I don’t want to bore you with an entire essay about the different types of names a person could acquire through their life. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband has four and I have three out of the six types we could potentially acquire. One is our birth name, which is typically an anglo name, my husband’s family also gave him a nickname as a child (for us nicknames are not based on the birth name, but on the child’s personality. I did not get one, because my family isn’t as traditional as his). Then comes our honor name, which could be compared to an “adult” name. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband uses this one in our daily lives and legally made it his middle name. I want to leave the middle name spot empty for our kids because this was a wise move on his family’s part. Unfortunately, my honor name did not stick as well as his, which is honestly the norm in our society nowadays. I am mostly known by my birth name. Other names come with special circumstances, and have largley been abandoned by our society. It depends on how traditional and invested each person is to our culture. Our family aims and hopes to always stay connected to our roots and the more names we can earn the better! They may not have a predominant role in our daily lives (there’s only so many names you can be called in a single sentence), but to us they are precious, almost like a special gift only we know about.
This is why my husband isn’t as worried about the children’s birth names . He figures the real important names will come/happen when they are older. Since he values his other names a lot more, he believes we could call the kids any old name and it would be the same. I disagree. I am of the opinion that we should be careful about these, since their birth names are ones they are most likely to use in public, when pursuing an education or building a career. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband still uses his birth name for legal purposes, and I use mine every day.
I quite like [name_u]Chauncey[/name_u]… I think your family will like it after they have a cute baby to associate with it!
And I loooove [name_f]Mary[/name_f]. It’s timeless and definitely underused these days. I don’t find it the least bit boring; refreshing actually.
Stick with your gut!
Also I think it’s perfectly acceptable to tell family you won’t be discussing names with them anymore as it’s your decision. You will never be able to please everyone!
We didn’t discuss names with ANYONE because we had a hard time agreeing on anything so once we did- I didn’t want to hear any negative feedback to dissuade me as we had no back-up names, haha.
) might I recommend similar names:
), my brothers wife was very indecisive over names and had the same view as your husband does this caused greater stress and pressure on my brother so I suggest you do what he did! Push them to make a baby list 
. He figures the real important names will come/happen when they are older. Since he values his other names a lot more, he believes we could call the kids any old name and it would be the same. I disagree. I am of the opinion that we should be careful about these, since their birth names are ones they are most likely to use in public, when pursuing an education or building a career. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband still uses his birth name for legal purposes, and I use mine every day.