A Needle in a Haystack: The "Nameless Baby" Problem

A Needle in a Haystack: The “Nameless [name]Baby[/name]” Problem
(The Musings of a Name [name]Fan[/name]…)

by [name]Lemon[/name]

Recently, there have been several threads popping up on Nameberry with moms unable to find the perfect name for their children after days, months, even over a year of searching. Now, we all know that this isn’t the normal process of baby naming, so what is going on? And, more importantly, what can be done to fix it?

For parents in this situation, the first step is forgiving yourself. Let go of the guilt, the shame, and the remorse, and move on. [name]How[/name] can a mom find the ideal name for her child when she is sad and frustrated with the situation - and with herself? The truth is, she can’t. A name is one of the most important things a parent gives to a child, and choosing the perfect one should not be taken lightly - we all know this. But, when your world is clothed in shades of gray, and it seems like the sun is never going to shine again, how can you expect to find a name that sparkles and shimmers as much as your child? The first step in overcoming the “nameless baby” problem is throwing negativity out the door, instead focusing on the joy and blessings that your baby has brought into your life.

Once you step out of the cloud of shame that has been stifling you for however long, you parents may find a renewed sense of creativity! Live it, breathe it, embrace it. [name]Just[/name] being optimistic can do a world of good for a parent’s outlook on the naming situation, breathing fresh life and new inspiration into the drawn-out search. The second step in overcoming the “nameless baby” problem is, in its simplest form, washing away the bad days and tormented feelings, breathing in the life of a new day, and smiling - for you, and for your baby.

Believe it or not, a baby can shape his or her own name. Why do you think so many modern parents take a selection of names with them to the birthing suite, ready to meet their child and decide his or her name? The truth is, some names suit a certain child better than others. This is the joy of profiling! We all have certain stereotyped views of names, but more importantly for parents in this situation, you have a clear picture of your child. With steps one and two under your belt, your days are freed up to spend time with your new little one, embracing the smiles, the giggles, the sweet curls bouncing in the wind, the innocent eyes looking up at you. All of it can help you find the right name! The third step in overcoming the “nameless baby” problem is recognizing what is right in front of you - letting your child grow and blossom before your eyes, gaining valuable insights into the true character of the not only your child, but your child’s name.

When we were little schoolchildren just learning arithmetic, we learned a valuable skill. While it might seem rudimentary to some of us more experienced scholars today, it might just be your best method in choosing a name off of your new-found shortlist. The fourth step in overcoming the “nameless baby” problem is using the guess and check method, trying out each name and waiting for a reaction - or a gut feeling - from you, from your significant other, from neighbors, family, and friends, and, most importantly, from your baby.

As you go through this process - remember, its not a torment or struggle anymore - keep your eye on the prize. But, don’t do so at the cost of everything around you! It is very easy to be swept up in the pressure of finding the perfect name for your child, but, in doing so, you often neglect what is most important - your baby. The fifth, and final, step in overcoming the “nameless baby” problem is keeping a baby journal, recording the most minute and pointless details of everyday life with your child - his smiles, her favorite foods, his reaction to his first snow, her first words - and creating a keepsake that will last you a lifetime, while also allowing you to focus on the good, the better, and the best of life with your new baby!

Armed with these tactics, you’ll soon be on your way to enjoying life with your newly-named little one. In the mean time, relax, recover, and rejoice in the life you have created for yourself with your child, remembering that, before you know it, you will have found that very special needle in that very scary haystack…

ABOUT THE [name]AUTHOR[/name]

[name]Lemon[/name] is a recent addition to the Nameberry community. Without any children of her own, she enjoys lending her skills and creativity to the countless parents looking for that sparkling gem of a name. Though she has no professional training, and thus is not an expert, she would like the share her tiny bit of “wisdom” in the hopes that it will benefit at least one struggling parent out there.

Thanks for these calming words, [name]Lemon[/name] – I’m sure a lot of moms will appreciate them!

Your welcome, [name]Pam[/name]. :slight_smile:

Great advice [name]Lemon[/name]!

I think you hit on something really important: as difficult as it can be to choose a name before your baby arrives, it can be so much harder post-partum. Not only are you dealing with hormone shifts, lack of sleep, and fuzzy brain, and really overwhelmed with the newness of it all, there is so much guilt and anxiety about your child being “nameless”. Moms are notorious for trying to do it all, and the pressure of finding the “perfect” name, on top of the stigma of not finding it, can make you feel like a bad mother. By letting go of that, and focusing on the joy of your new child, you re-connect to what you are trying to embody in the name itself.

Thanks so much for the post - I’m sure moms (and dads) at all stages of the naming process will appreciate your words.

I have often thought that, should I have real problems finding a name which I utterly loved, a sure fire way to get one would be by naming my child after a close family member or friend, or, as a literature nut, a favourite book character. The love I have for the person or character would be tied up in their name, and so I would automatically love it on my child :slight_smile:

[name]Lemon[/name], you give wonderful advice!

Wonderful, how beautifully put. Well done, I appreciate your insights.

Thanks, guys. [name]Just[/name] wanted to see if I could help people a bit… :slight_smile: