Hello momberries, I could really use your insight or stories. A little context about myself, my name is lysssxrjq [25yrs, usa] I’m not pregnant or currently TTC, but DH and I have been together 5 years now and we are planning our official wedding for possibly next year. I recently graduated with a BA, the first step to working in my future career. I’m taking a year off and then headed to graduate school for a masters degree. At first I thought I would wait to start TTC until after I get my degree, so that I would be the one to work while DH stays home with the kids until they are old enough to go to school, but now I think I may have some secret baby fever going on.
Momberries with graduate degrees, did you give birth while attending graduate school? Wait till after? Had kids before and went to school while they were in school? I would love to hear about your experience!
Thank you for reading, I really appreciate any responses
I went to law school directly after undergrad. Met my husband while I was in law school, and we married a few years later. We always wanted to wait until both of us were established in our careers to start a family, so we’ve finally begun trying this summer (I’m 33, he’s 34).
A few of my law school classmates had kids before attending or while attending law school (mostly males, though).
I don’t think there’s a “right” answer or path. For us, we both have student loan debt, so making a dent in that before having a baby and beginning saving for kid’s college was a huge factor. ([name_m]Don[/name_m]'t get me started on the student loan debt crisis in the US… we’d be here all day!) [name_f]Hope[/name_f] that helps!
I can’t give you real experience but my husband and I are both currently in the application process for grad school and med school, and also ttc #1. We know having babies and going to school will be a lot of work, and there’s a good chance it will take me a bit longer to finish (our plan is for me to be the primary care giver) but we’ve decided this is the right time and even with all the challenges to come it will be worth it and hopefully emphasize to our kids the importance of education.
When my husband and I weren’t getting pregnant as quickly as we thought we would after our miscarriage, I figured now was as good of a time as any to pursue my master’s. I started the program officially in [name_u]January[/name_u] of this year. I work at a university, so my tuition is free up to 2 classes a semester. It’s a great program with a lot of wonderful professors and peers. But you know what they say about timing though…the very next month after beginning, I got my BFP!
It was exactly what we were waiting for, but I was concerned about how it would affect my studies and timeline. I have had such a nice time coordinating with my program director, and he has been very understanding since he has had several have children while in the program (Student Affairs, higher education). Ultimately, I think that it can be done with work, of course, and lots of communication.
Now, I will say I haven’t had my baby yet…we are entering into the third trimester in a matter of days. But I know people who have done it, so I am optimistic. I think that timelines work out how they are supposed to work out. Life has a way of settling exactly how it was meant to.
I am a teacher and will be starting my Master’s degree next summer. My second child is due in [name_f]September[/name_f]. Since I have a full time job, I will have to take coursework at night or online during the school year. We’ll see how it goes! I would have liked to have finished my Master’s before having kids, but life happens! Good luck with whatever you decide.
While I am not in graduate school, I am currently both expecting and a non-traditional student in a radiography program. It has taken a long time to find the right focus in healthcare and a career in general, as well balancing that with meeting my husband at 33 and considering children. I feel like the most vital part of our decisions has been the support of our family. Also, a big factor was that my program allows for you to defer for one semester, so communication with your advisor is key. Again, it is not a graduate program, but I hope this offers a bit of insight. Best of luck!
I’m an art teacher and have a Master’s degree. I finished my master’s while in my 1st trimester with my daughter [name_f]Ziva[/name_f]. It was a bit of a roller coaster, but mostly because their dad and I were separating after 10 years of being together and I was heartbroken. Worked out beautifully in the end! My older girls were 4 and 2.5 I believe, gets blurry after a while lol. [name_f]Noor[/name_f] was already in Preschool which helped and [name_f]Viola[/name_f] stayed at home with me or with one of her grandmothers when I really couldn’t give her attention. I imagine that if I were to go through with it again today it would be harder because more kids now and because I’m not a few streets away from my mom’s anymore. Take your time and don’t stress too much (although writing a dissertation is a different type of crazy, haha), all will work out and like someone else said, communication is key.
We had my daughter while my husband was finishing his undergrad, then he got his master’s, and now I’m starting mine this fall and also TTC #2 (my daugher is 2). If I ovulated when I think I did, and if we conceive this cycle, then I’d be due during finals week of spring semester, which isn’t ideal, but I’m not stressing it yet because it’s all a big if at this point. I was going to wait to start until next fall, and hope that we got pregnant and I had a baby next spring/summer. But I found out the program I was looking at was all online, which I feel like is way more doable with a tiny baby/very soon post partum than going to classes would be. So if all of the above happened, then I would hopefully be finishing my degree around when #2 turned 1. It’s going to be crazy, but I feel like if I’m waiting until things won’t be crazy, I’m not going to go back until my kids are way older. I get half tuition with my job right now, so we’re just diving in and hoping it’ll work out and I can get it over with! Worst case scenario, I don’t take as many classes as I was planning to, and it takes 2.5-3 years to get it done instead of 2.
I am currently attending uni (I have most of my degree online except some lessons once a week). I am a twin mom of 3 under 3 and it’s a bit of a rollercoaster but I am doing fine!
I have a schedule which I try to stick to (not easy to do sometimes but oh well) and I try and make the most out of the little time I have.
Everything is possible if you want to and if you try!
Good luck!
My partner and I have been going to school for our entire relationship (8 years) and we have 5 kids between us. It’s not the easiest route, but we have made it. My partner is now a data scientist and I am finishing my undergrad work in communication. Our youngest is starting kindergarten this coming week and it’s going to be a lot easier on us, but before this we made it work.
I think you’ve just got to decide what feels right for you, and go for it. Life’s always going to have ups and downs, and think there’s not normally a ‘better’ or ‘worse’ way of doing things, just different.
My partner and I waited until after finishing graduate school and both having permanent jobs, which I’m glad we did. It means I’ll be 32 and he’ll be 35 when our first is born, and we’re hoping to have at least a couple, maybe 3… but it also means we’ve got a bit more financial security. Our mortgage is enormous and a bit frightening, but at least (so long as there aren’t too many unforeseen circumstances!) we’ll also be able to settle down in a house without fear of being uprooted by landlords who decide to sell or who don’t want to rent out to families with kids.
On the other hand my Dad passed away a couple of years ago and will never get to meet our kids, and my Mum’s already getting a bit old to be as involved with them as she could have been, which does make me a bit sad. My parents had me very late themselves. I still don’t think I would have done things differently though, I don’t think I was really emotionally ‘ready’ much earlier - not comfortable in my own skin, flaws and all, the way I am now - and I think my partner and I having spent a full 9 years together puts us in a better place for parenting together. I don’t have any concerns about crapping in front of him in a birthing pool or saggy baby bellies and stretch marks, which I probably would have still worried about at 25!
I just completed my master’s at the end of [name_u]June[/name_u] while 3 months pregnant. It was a bit of a terror because of nausea and morning sickness and the stress that comes with turning everything, the lack of sleep and then my presentation/defense. I’m really glad I was able to end this chapter of my life before baby’s arrival as I am a single working mom. I think a master’s degree course that is online based will be more suitable for you, or with classes you’ll only have to attend once or twice a week. Communication with your professors and especially your thesis advisor is very important. Also, like someone else said, it might take you longer to complete, but I guarantee you’ll get there. Best of luck!
I had a friend from uni who had a 3 year old when we started, and then his wife had another baby when we were in our 3 year. For the couple of months after his baby was born, he did struggle a bit in class, always tired, didn’t have time to do coursework etc, in fact he was actually called out of lectures twice for falling asleep. After that though, he seemed to go mainly back to normal, though I’m aware he and his wife were struggling a lot financially.
A few other people either had babies or their partners did, and all of them dropped out. This was all during undergrad.
So,whilst it’s certainly doable, I’m not sure it’d be worth it for me. A masters only takes a year, for me it would be worth waiting that 1 year.
Seeing all the momberries who managed kids & education is an inspiring relief.
As for me, I’m an undergrad who decided to switch majors, which has added about a year to getting my degree. Currently pregnant with twins and due around the start of [name_f]Spring[/name_f] 2019 semester, so the goal is to take my classes this semester and take a break in the spring to take care of them. I only work part-time, but my job has been so helpful and understanding, accommodating me every step of the way (even letting my change my position as-needed). My partner is a high school teacher and also picks up part time/seasonal jobs that work with his teaching schedule (he worked through undergrad & master’s program while taking care of his son; I swear he’s a superhero).
I’m very lucky that my parents are now empty nesters and have agreed to help watch the babies if there is a conflict in any schedule. It’s helped put me at ease knowing that we have people I can trust helping out.
I know this probably didn’t help anyone at all, sorry. I just wanted to thank everyone for being helpful!
