A Quick Rant

I like unique names, names that aren’t overused or “classic”. That being said, my favorites are still familiar and pronounceable. Still, so many times I’ll get negative reactions from people saying my names are too weird and have negative associations. To me, this is ridiculous. [name_f]EVERY[/name_f] name has negative associations in one way or another. That is not a reason to completely wipe a name out of existence.

Also, there are people out there naming their children truly crazy things (by my standards, of course). [name_m]Even[/name_m] so, I appreciate the uniqueness of the names and the parents’ adventurous spirit in naming their child. So many people I talk to are way too close minded about names, and it’s disheartening and frustrating. I can’t be the only one to feel this way…?

Rant over :slight_smile:

[name_f]Every[/name_f] name has something bad, and won’t be to everyone’s taste. My [name_f]MIL[/name_f] was just about the only one who liked DD’s name before she was born. Nearly no one, except a random friend, liked DS’s. So you just have to grow a thick skin and let the criticism roll off. Consider what they’re saying. You probably shouldn’t name your son Quasimodo. But [name_m]Charles[/name_m] isn’t my favorite… but won’t damn him to a life in a bell tower.

The more I read/write/learn about names, the more open I am to unusual ones. I was very judgmental when I first became interested in names. I was 100% a “[name_f]Nevaeh[/name_f] is ridiculous, [name_u]North[/name_u] [name_u]West[/name_u] is cruel” type. But I’ve come to appreciate the good in nearly every name. [name_f]Nevaeh[/name_f] has a lovely sound and [name_u]North[/name_u] [name_u]West[/name_u]'s name is very meaningful to her parents. And really- do you think the weirdest part of being [name_u]Kim[/name_u] and [name_m]Kanye[/name_m]'s child will be being named [name_u]North[/name_u]? The rate of babies given the top 100 (or even 1000) names has been steadily dropping for many years. Unusual names are now the norm, so I’m very much of the opinion that parents should choose whatever name they love! You’ll never please everyone.

Without knowing what your names are, it’s hard to say. I definitely agree that people will take any bad person who has that name as a negative association, to the point of ridiculousness ([name_m]Joseph[/name_m] will make everyone think of Stalin!!) But there definitely are some names that are weird and have negative associations, and I really have seen people argue about why naming their son [name_m]Lucifer[/name_m] is a totally reasonable idea.

Honestly most people don’t really understand naming now and the fact it evolves and it’s gotten significantly more liberal and how that’s not a bad thing. I saw the scary mommy snapchat story the other day and the author of one of the articles in there was talking about how names like [name_u]Paisley[/name_u] and [name_m]Atticus[/name_m] were horrible names and that you were being mean to your child if you named your kids those kind of names.

In conclusion - Unless people have actual criticism don’t listen.

My name is [name_f]Aurora[/name_f]. It’s pretty popular on here, but I’ve still seen a lot of people say it’s ugly, too weird, too hard to spell/pronounce, or that everyone will associate it with Sleeping Beauty. So here’s my take on those. “Ugly” is subjective, so unless everyone is saying it, it’s probably safe to ignore. “Too weird” is kind of meaningless, so unless they have something productive to say about how it might impact the kid’s life, I wouldn’t worry about it.

People really do have trouble saying and spelling my name, and sure, always having to spell it out only to have them get it wrong anyway is annoying, but it’s honestly not that big of a deal. Here’s the thing, everyone’s name gets spelled wrong. I know a [name_u]Kimberly[/name_u] who always gets [name_f]Kimberley[/name_f], and think of all the people named [name_f]Sara/name_f, [name_u]Jo/name_un, [name_f]Meg/name_fan, Rach(a)el, or [name_f]Caitlin[/name_f]/[name_f]Kaitlyn[/name_f]/[name_f]Katelyn[/name_f]. At least once someone has my name down, they won’t mix it up with their other friend with the same name but a different spelling.

The Sleeping Beauty thing is legitimately baffling to me. [name_f]Every[/name_f] time people talk about the name [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] in the abstract, people insist that every person she ever meets will comment on it, but it’s only happened a handful of times in my life. No, what I always get is, “Is your last name Borealis?” It…gets old. But it doesn’t make me hate my name.

On the general criticisms of unusual names: I hated it as a kid. I hated that all the other kids could get personalized pencils and cups and necklaces and bike license plates and I couldn’t. I hated that every person who met me commented on how unusual it was. I hated that I never saw it in a book or heard it on TV (and I’ve still only seen it a few times). But then it grew on me, and now it’s just me. And I’ve gotten (very) used to people commenting on it, and I hear “[name_m]How[/name_m] pretty!” at least as often as “That’s different!”

Now, all of that is specific to my own experience, but I think it’s a good look at some of the criticisms unusual names get in general. Not every [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] (or [name_m]Atticus[/name_m] or [name_u]Paisley[/name_u]) will grow up to like their names, but neither will every [name_f]Emma[/name_f] or [name_m]Jacob[/name_m], and having an uncommon name gives you a kind of ownership of it that people with common names don’t have. In general, I would say consider people’s input if they have specific criticisms, like that the name sets itself up to be teased, has an obvious negative association, won’t age well, or is egregiously difficult to pronounce or spell, but it should just be a point to consider, not an instant veto, unless it’s really bad (and if it hadn’t occurred to you until they mentioned it, it likely isn’t). Sure, it may be hard to imagine a president being named [name_f]Maisie[/name_f], but there’s literally a senator named [name_f]Mazie[/name_f] right now, and who knows how people will perceive it fifty years from now.

My name is also [name_f]Aurora[/name_f]. I get the “Oh, like sleeping beauty” (not often) but it makes little girls think I’m a princess. I get “Is your last/middle name Borealis?” (and, in one case, a friend who legitimately thought it was my last name for some odd reason) but I laugh and say I wish it was because the aurora borealis and aurora australis are beautiful natural phenomena and I’m honored to get to share their names.

I love that I have never had another [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] in my class, or often even in my school (I think I had one in high school but she was a couple years behind). I love that my name has allowed me to have a unique identity; that after people meet me, when they hear the word [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] they think of me. And as a kid, I loved that there were no books I read with characters bearing my name because that meant I could write one.

I don’t think a parent should name a child a name they wouldn’t want to wear. I don’t think anyone should name a child something unique for the sake of being a risk taker. But if they love the name, and the name is appropriate, and it isn’t so far on the extreme they child will get berated for it, I don’t think that they should worry too much about what others say (as long as the criticism isn’t founded)–often they won’t say it once the child is born. Associations often fade (particularly negative ones should be avoided, though). People will learn to spell it & pronounce it. Ugliness is relative. [name_m]Little[/name_m] things people might say (“oh, like Sleeping beauty” “is your middle name Borealis?”) can be laughed at and then brushed past. It’s all about balance.

I know Emmas that love that their name connects them to other people, bridges a gap, allows them to feel like a part of something. And I know Magnolias that love that they are the only person that they know bearing their name, that nobody will shout ‘[name_f]Magnolia[/name_f]’ and mean someone else.

Again, I think it’s all in the balance of things.

In my experience, people will turn their nose up at everything that isn’t one of their favored names… until the name is actually attached to a person. Then people accept it, or at least get used to it. Personally, I’m done trying to share my beloved names with people. When I have a kid, I’ll let people know the name of the baby when it is born and that’s it. This goes for my parents and sisters as well. I like some crazy names, so I get that it won’t always be their cup of tea, but my mom scoffed at [name_f]Annabel[/name_f]. [name_f]ANNABEL[/name_f]. You can’t get more simple and classic than that.

So yeah, I just save my love of names for Nameberry:D

Something that I see on nameberry a lot is that people assume that whatever name you put out there, you are naming your child. And, indeed, you might be. But for me, I am not having children and I just love names so if I love Julep, Giverny, and Mosaic, no child was harmed by my liking them.

Truthfully, there is no name on earth that isn’t going to be disliked, even loathed, by somebody. No name that isn’t going to put someone off or remind them of something hideous.

While people shouldn’t eviscerate others, this is still a public forum and a public forum means the right to disagree, the right for me to love [name_f]Ethel[/name_f] and hate [name_m]Wrecker[/name_m] and someone else to feel the opposite. Years ago I put out a thread loving [name_f]Virginia[/name_f] and people wrote in how it reminded them of vagina or virgin. It didn’t bother me because it didn’t remind me of those words. I still might have named a daughter [name_f]Virginia[/name_f].

To each his or her own. We each have a right to our own opinions even if they wildly disagree with others and we need to be able to handle people believing differently than we do.