The latest girl name we’re considering is [name_u]Abbey[/name_u]. That would be her given name, rather than [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] or [name_u]Abilene[/name_u].
I realize [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] is #8 right now on the SS list, so there are bound to be several other little ones called [name_u]Abby[/name_u] running around. That aspect doesn’t particularly bother me, but what I’m slightly wary about is the spelling: [name_u]Abbey[/name_u].
We [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] the nod to churches/cathedrals, as those are some of our favorite travel spots. So there’s definite meaning to the spelling. I just feel bad that she’s going to have to spend her whole life saying, “[name_u]Abbey[/name_u] with an e, like a church.” Should I let that go since we have a legitimate reason for the spelling?
I ask because my name is very standard and I never have it misspelled. If you have a somewhat differently spelled name, I’d greatly appreciate your feedback. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you hate that people misspell it all the time, or is it worth it to have a distinct name on paper?
I know an [name_u]Abbey[/name_u]. She hates the spelling. She has to clarify it to EVERYONE.
[name_f]Remember[/name_f], not a single person is going to assume her name is [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] ‘with an E’, and she’s going to have to correct it for everyone. Especially with the popularity of [name_f]Abigail[/name_f].
My name is [name_f]Cate[/name_f]. It has always been misspelled as [name_f]Kate[/name_f], [name_f]Cait[/name_f], [name_f]Katherine[/name_f], [name_f]Katelyn[/name_f] etc. It is quite annoying but I try to forgive people for it. It’s kind of an icebreaker. Someone needs to write down your name so they misspell it and then you get to have a five minute conversation on how “they’ve never seen it spelled that way” and oh wow “how unique”. It’s just how it is with names that are so commonly used they’ve racked up quite a few ways to be spelled.
Downtown [name_u]Abbey[/name_u]! Okay in all seriousness, [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is a word. It has a definition. Personally I would never be able to get over the church/cathedral connotation but if that’s the reason you want to spell it that way, who am I to say no 
Therefor, I think it would just be best to spell it [name_u]Abby[/name_u].
I have friend who named her daughter [name_f]Andee[/name_f]. This isn’t short for [name_u]Andrea[/name_u] or anything similar its just [name_f]Andee[/name_f]. The only thing that gets annoying for my friend is that a lot of people think her daughter is a boy just based on hearing the name. The little girl on the other hand loves her name because it is so unique.
I have a second cousin named [name_u]Abbey[/name_u], in her mid-20s, and I know she has it misspelled all the time. I wouldn’t say that it looking different on paper makes it a name that’s any more unique, just one that requires explanation.
However, I think [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is pretty simple and inoffensive, as far as alternate spellings go. The word does give it an anchor to help people remember it.
Ordinarily, I would say spell it as it’s known – [name_u]Abby[/name_u]. However, the spelling of [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is actually not all that uncommon. It’s a lot more uncommon than [name_u]Abby[/name_u], but I’ve seen [name_u]Abbie[/name_u], [name_f]Abbi[/name_f], [name_u]Abi[/name_u], and [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] with [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] being the most popular, right after the traditional spelling of [name_u]Abby[/name_u]. I had a friend named [name_f]Jennie[/name_f] when I was growing up. Yes, a lot of people spelled it [name_f]Jenny[/name_f] at first, but as soon as she said “ie,” no one even questioned it because it was a known and accepted spelling as opposed to some bizarre spelling no one would ever guess.
If [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] has special meaning to you, use it. I doubt it’s going to be a big deal.
My name is [name_f]Eryn[/name_f]. I’ve never had people first assume it was [name_f]Eryn[/name_f], and it’s always written as [name_f]Erin[/name_f] by people who don’t know me. I’m not bothered by it at all. Sure, I have to correct them (sometimes I just don’t bother and they find out eventually) but it’s not as if it pains me to tell them that it’s ‘[name_f]Erin[/name_f] with a Y’.
In relation to [name_u]Abbey[/name_u], it shouldn’t bother her at all. At first, she may grow tired but it just comes with having a name that isn’t the way people usually spell it, but that shouldn’t be a big issue. I know an [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] who spells it like that and is just simply [name_u]Abbey[/name_u]. I also know an [name_f]Abbe[/name_f] (said the same).
[name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is a simple alternative spelling of the usual [name_u]Abby[/name_u], I wouldn’t let the fact people may spell it incorrectly at first (believe me, they soon catch on and spell it correctly…usually after just correcting them once) stop me from using it.
As a person with a unique, difficult to spell, not even English name, these are my thoughts. The spelling issue (and pronunciation issue, which will not be a problem with [name_u]Abbey[/name_u]) has always been annoying for me. But honestly, it isn’t a big deal, she’ll have to correct people. I think the spelling [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] has meaning to you, so I think you should use it. I think that meaning is really important. [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] can be spelled tons of ways ([name_u]Abby[/name_u], [name_u]Abbie[/name_u], [name_u]Abi[/name_u]…) so people should be open to non-standard spellings. Usually after a few times, a person will remember and it won’t be a big deal anymore. It’s inconvenient, but not the end of the world. I think you should go for it.
I’d encourage you to not use alternate spellings. They’re a headache for whoever is named that. And it doesn’t change the fact that her name is still [name_u]Abby[/name_u]/[name_u]Abbey[/name_u] - an alternate spelling doesn’t make the name more unique. I’m not talking down the name at all but I generally think it’s best to go with the intuitive spelling when there is a spelling that is unanimously used.
[name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is used commonly enough that I don’t see the problem. She’ll probably have to say “[name_u]Abbey[/name_u] with an e” but that’s not a big deal. My name is [name_f]Kristen[/name_f], standard spelling, but I still say “[name_f]Kristen[/name_f] with an e” all the time and I never feel put out doing so. The one thing that will probably become annoying is that [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is generally a nickname for other [name_m]Ab[/name_m]- names so she’ll likely be telling people “no, it’s just [name_u]Abbey[/name_u]”. [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] as a nickname is so common that it will be rare that anyone associates it with a church.
Usually, I’d agree, but in the case of [name_u]Abby[/name_u]/[name_u]Abbey[/name_u], [name_u]Abby[/name_u] is not unanimously used, not by any means. I think it’s the same difference as with [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] and [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f]. Sure, [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] is more common, but everyone’s heard of a [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] as well. [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is an acceptable and known variation of [name_u]Abby[/name_u], which is why I don’t think it would present a problem.
Am I the only person who would spell [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] first over [name_u]Abby[/name_u] if I heard the name…? I think [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] is a fine name, for the reasons others have stated. My name is [name_m]Bryan[/name_m] and it’s really not a big deal to say “[name_m]Bryan[/name_m] with a y”. I prefer [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] to [name_u]Abby[/name_u], anyways.