If you are a regular on here, then you probably remember my post a while back about [name]Soraya[/name] (Suh-ray-uh) vs [name]Amara[/name]…
Well I decided to go with [name]Soraya[/name] [name]Seren[/name]…(I know it has alot of the same sound but the middle name was set and there was no further discussion)…
And now I am BACKPEDALING…the paperwork has already been sent to the state’s vital record’s dept to be processed and I am feeling like I have made an error in judgment even after I really feel I spent ALOT of time figuring this out! I keep questioning if I should have named her [name]Amara[/name] [name]Seren[/name] instead STILL 2 weeks later! One of the only reasons I didn’t go with [name]Amara[/name] (though it was my husband’s first choice) was because I thought it was to ‘rhy-me’ w/my first daughter who died at birth’s name, which is Navarra. [name]Do[/name] you think ONCE AGAIN (I know I know…already asked this…sigh!) that this is true? That this is more than just sisters being named [name]Ashley[/name] and [name]Kimberley[/name] kind of thing with the same endings? It seems there are 2 syllables at play here that rhyme at the end… [name]Will[/name] my new baby girl stand over her sister’s headstone one day and ask me why her name is so similar to her sister’s? [name]Will[/name] it give her some sort of identity crisis and will she ask if I was trying to recreate her sister through her even though that is FAR FROM THE [name]TRUTH[/name]…as I know you can NEVER replace a child with another! My mom and dad are giving me alot of trouble about this and not being very supportive at all. They are telling me that this is ridiculous and that people don’t do this stuff, i.e., change the name after the birth certificate is sent off to be processed YET the girl who I spoke with at the vital records dept told me if people didn’t do this then she wouldn’t have a job! Has anyone known anyone or heard of anyone who had a change of heart and changed their child’s name? The problem is though is that if I do go forward with changing it to [name]Amara[/name], will I regret letting go of my original choice [name]Soraya[/name]? I am absolutely obsessed with this like I have never been before. I do not think it is just the hormones either. My mom says she thinks that there is more going on here that just not being sure of the name/wanting to change it. She thinks that since I know this is probably my last child, that I am having a hard time letting of a passion I have had since I was a little girl, which is being absolutely enthralled with names to the point of them being a hobby and now I know I will never go through this exciting process ever again. We never had this hard of a time with our first 3 kids…but then again we were not zeroing in on a name that sounded like our first daughter who is now deceased. Am I wrong and my husband is right? Navarra really doesn’t sound like [name]Amara[/name]? My husband’s first choice was [name]Amara[/name]…but now that she has been [name]Soraya[/name] for 2 weeks he says it is growing on him. I know I cannot play this game for much longer, as this is a human being this concerns here…not a doll! I feel like I am going out of my mind. Thanks in advance and much appreciation if you made it this far!!!
I find [name]Soraya[/name] and [name]Amara[/name] to be equally nice names. I don’t think [name]Amarra[/name] is too close to Navarra in the least, so I do not think you will be giving your child an identity crisis AT ALL by going with [name]Amara[/name], but I guess I am confused as to why you are backing away from [name]Soraya[/name] now? You mentioned why you decided against [name]Amara[/name], but not why you are now doubting [name]Soraya[/name]. As you said, it is your first choice, right?
Thank you [name]Phoebe[/name]'s Mom for your reply.
I am only backing away from [name]Soraya[/name] because of the alternative [name]Amara[/name]… I feel like my husband is not as happy with it as he would have been with [name]Amara[/name]…but now he says [name]Soraya[/name] is growing on him.
I think [name]Soraya[/name] is beautiful.
I do think [name]Amara[/name] and Navarra are very similar. I wouldn’t name siblings that closely. But if you wanted to honor Navarra, naming your newest daughter [name]Amara[/name] would be a nice way to do that.
But if you want her to have a name that is ALL hers, [name]Soraya[/name] is a great one!
Think about what you want, what your concerns are. I think your concerns about [name]Amara[/name] would continue to weigh on you if you decided to change it. [name]Soraya[/name] has none of those worries. Your husband is starting to love it and associate it with your baby. You filed the paperwork. It’s a beautiful name. Give her a squeeze, whisper her name in her ear and just enjoy loving her! They are this little for such a short time!
I love [name]Soraya[/name] and think the name is perfect!!! The other name is a little too close to your other baby’s name. I wouldn’t worry, just love her. 
You picked out a great name!!
I can feel your desperation and stress, and I’m so sorry for what you’re going through! Rest assured that your daughter has a gorgeous name (I actually love the alliteration of [name]Soraya[/name] [name]Seren[/name]!) You chose [name]Soraya[/name] because it is your favorite, so I think you should stick with it. You are mourning the loss of [name]Amara[/name] because you love it too, but you would also mourn [name]Soraya[/name] if you did not use it.
[name]Even[/name] though [name]Amara[/name] is very similar to your deceased daughter’s name, it probably would have been fine. But the fact is that [name]Soraya[/name] probably works better, and I believe you like it more. Personally I think you should try to move on from [name]Amara[/name], as hard as that may be. The good news is that you don’t have to let go of your naming hobby; you can always come on here and help others name their little ones! Again, I’m sorry for what you’re going through, but I think you made a wonderful decision with your daughter’s name! Best wishes
Janda,
I am sorry you are struggling with these feelings about your youngest daughter’s name!
Am I understanding the problem correctly? You and your husband preferred the name [name]Amara[/name], but went with [name]Soraya[/name] instead because you were concerned about the similarity between [name]Amara[/name] and Navarra? Now you are wondering if you should have let go of your first choice [name]Amara[/name] because you still love the name more?
I think you should go with what your heart tells you to do. Under the circumstances, having second thoughts about your choice is not unexpected. I agree that [name]Soraya[/name] and [name]Amara[/name] are both beautiful names, but if you decide you truly love [name]Amara[/name] more, you could change the name and it could work out. You could tell your youngest daughter – before she has a chance to wonder on her own – that you gave her the name [name]Amara[/name] independently of the name Navarra. You could let her know that you almost gave her a different name to avoid any similarity – but loved the name too much. In other words, you chose [name]Amara[/name] in spite of – not because of – her sister’s name. By dealing with the issue up front, I don’t see how your daughter would have an identity crisis about it.
Some parents intentionally seek out rhyming names for their children, but you are not doing that… just picking names that you love. For example, I knew brothers named [name]Ronald[/name] and [name]Donald[/name] in school. The names Navarra and [name]Amara[/name] are MUCH more distinct than that!
You really have to think about what feels right to you and your husband. Which name seems to suit your daughter more? You might also get the opinions of your other children about the similarity of the names IF they are old enough to understand and comment on how they feel about the names in their sib set.
I hope you can figure out which name will allow you to move forward with joy and that you will feel better soon!
I just wanted to let you know that I just went through a very similar experience with my second daughter. We named her when she was one day old and straight away i felt unsure of the decision, everyone said to me first impressions are usually right and that it must be the hormones but I knew it wasn’t. When mu daughter was five weeks old we changed her name to the name I felt was right and I am so happy I did it! [name]Every[/name] time I say her name it feels right! It was hard for a few weeks for people to get used to it but now she is 8 months old and no one remembers or talks about. Go with your gut, otherwise you will regret it and it will be to late. A lot of people also told me how brave I was to change it and find the perfect name for my baby!
I noticed that [name]Amara[/name] would fit right in with the pattern of your other two daughters’ names, which both end in -ra: Navarra & [name]Keira[/name]. You certainly don’t have to keep the same ending pattern, but if you are leaning towards [name]Amara[/name], it is another reason to feel good about it, since then, all three of your girls’ names (not just two) have someting in common.
Please let us know what you decide!
After a night of deep searching into what I feel is really right, I came to the conclusion I just keep coming back to the name [name]Amara[/name] more than [name]Soraya[/name]. What is keeping me from using [name]Amara[/name] is the similarity between the name and her sister Navarra’s name…and what people would think not only of that but IF I changed the name now at this poiint in the game. NOT that one should care what people think but no matter how hard I try to shake the feeling I cannot! And now I realize that it would have been my first choice in the hospital, as well as my husband’s, if it didn’t sound like Navarra… The only way I was able to convince my husband in the hospital not to go with [name]Amara[/name] is because I told him I couldn’t live everyday w/hearing the ‘ara’ sound in a name w/o getting sad and now I wonder if that was the real reason let alone reason enough to let it go. I am worried about all the cards that say the name [name]Soraya[/name] and the birth card from inside the bassinet at the hospital and what people are going to think/say when they find out if I changed it and/or I tell them. And I think when we told our moms what we were going through about the name debate and I told them about [name]Soraya[/name] versus [name]Amara[/name]…when my mom said she didn’t like [name]Amara[/name] ([name]Mara[/name]) it unjustly swayed me away from it and now I realize I should have never told her/listened to her/asked her her opinion, even though we were desperate at the time. My mom said she is reminded by the word ‘mar’ which I believe means bad and that [name]Amara[/name]/[name]Mara[/name] is just a plain name like [name]Martha[/name] or [name]Mary[/name] and that [name]Soraya[/name] sounds so much more feminine and pretty to her. That she thinks that there is nothing special about [name]Mara[/name].
I really think you need to go with your gut feelings. I know in the moment it is really hard but you will thank yourself later on. I personally think [name]Amara[/name] is beautiful and I much prefer it, it rolls of the tongue much easier. Not that I think other peoples opinions on the name should matter, only that you and your husband love it. I also think that it might feel special to have a similar name as her sister as a way of honouring her. Good luck and all the best.
P.S All of my daughters cards have a different name on them, and I think that it will be quite a great story to tell my daughter when she is older and we will laugh about the name change and i can show her the cards.
[name]Tia[/name]'s mommy: Thanks for your reply/advice once again; much appreciated.
You piqued my interest now though: What was your daughter’s original name and what is it now officially? What were your reasons?
[name]Hi[/name] from [name]Nanny[/name] rollo
I feel your pain but let me reassure you.
One of my great aunts was given exactly the same name as a sibling that died and I wouldn’t do that but in your case you simply like names with the same sound and there is nothing wrong with that.
I love the name [name]Soraya[/name] I think it is VERY pretty but if you love [name]Amara[/name] more then before the deadline change it.
I don’t think [name]Amara[/name] and Navarra are similar in style at all. I think that Navarra has an American flavour and [name]Amara[/name] has an Egyptian feel to it as does [name]Soraya[/name] but to be more specific [name]Soraya[/name] has a Persian flavour so I wouldn’t worry about the ending but the whole name which gives off a different vibe altogether.
Listen to your heart, stop panicking and let the name that is your love to rise to the top of your list/mind and use it for your daughter.
As I have already said to me the names are completely different and I would pair Navarra with [name]Savannah[/name] and [name]Amara[/name] with [name]Soraya[/name].
Best wishes and hugs.
[name]Amara[/name] is a very nice name and it’s not too late to change it. Lots and lots of people do that. I can’t believe your parents are not being supportive–are they parenting your child? I thought you and your husband were doing that.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
I can just feel your anxiety through the computer, and I hope as I write this you are starting to feel better about your name dilemma. Panic is one of the worst feelings ever. Luckily, you are deciding between two lovely names!
I will echo the other nameberries who wrote that [name]Amara[/name] is not close enough to Navarra to warrent being discarded only because of similarity. In my opinion, [name]Amara[/name] is a beautiful name that is elegant in its simplicity. I also knew an [name]Amara[/name] in high school who was cool and smart. [name]Soraya[/name] is a more unusual name that might run into pronunciation trouble in school, but it is beautiful and feminine as well. When you look at your baby, does she look more like a [name]Soraya[/name] or an [name]Amara[/name]? Your husband seems to be liking [name]Soraya[/name] more and more, perhaps it will just take some time for your baby to grow into her name. And just out of curiosity, when you dream about your baby (if you do) what is her name in the dream, [name]Amara[/name] or [name]Soraya[/name]?
I’m sorry not to be more helpful, but just know that there is a [name]Berrie[/name] out here tonight sending you good wishes and hoping you come to a peaceful resolution soon
All the best-- [name]Heather[/name]
P.S. [name]Soraya[/name] has really grown on me since I saw your post several minutes ago. If you decide to keep it, I think it could be a very special name.
Heatherette…thanks for your input…it is so nice to see perfect strangers from near and afar that really do care! I am still in name limbo as we speak.
Janda,
I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. So many people who visit this site seem to go through namer’s remorse; I think it can go hand in hand with a naming obsession and with the general culture of naming fascination. In your case, I wonder if your struggles are related not only to the fact that this is your last child but also the memory of your first daughter’s death? It must have been terrible, terrible to have gone through what you did, and I could imagine that this birth, which is harbinger to the loss of your baby-making and baby-naming years, could bring up your first daughter’s simultaneous birth and loss as well. Sorry if you didn’t want this whole analysis–but it struck me that you’re going through something very profound (and I always feel comforted when people notice when I am . . . so I thought I’d offer my 2c.).
As for the names, they are both lovely. Though [name]Amara[/name] does have a similar sound to Navarra, it is still a different name–I think that there’s an enormous difference between naming your daughter [name]Amara[/name] and naming her Navarra all over again. If you go with [name]Amara[/name] and tell your daughter all that went into selecting her name, I don’t see any reason why she should have an identity crisis or feel she is a stand-in for her sister. I know it’s easy for me to say, but if your mother isn’t being supportive and is saying negative things about whatever name you are leaning toward, I would try my best not to involve her. Mothers can have powerful influence, but as others have said it’s not her baby.
Would it help you to give yourself a break and try not to think about it for a couple of days? Please know that you’re not doing anything terrible in having doubts or in possibly choosing [name]Amara[/name]. Please also give yourself credit for what you’ve been through.
Take care, and keep us posted.
H.
[name]Hilary[/name],
I am actually glad that you posted what you did, because I have been thinking the same things; this being my potential last baby (that is what dh says!), the birth/death of my first child being brought front and center again and my obsession w/names coupled with my indecision over whether [name]Amara[/name] is too close to Navarra. You hit it right on target, and your kind words and deep understanding of the issues on hand have really helped me this morning… I am relieved to see some people really do get where I am coming from. Maybe it isn’t really about which name I need to choose but deeper rooted problems that I am being forced to face head on for the first time in over 5 yrs. I do not think I have ever really dealt completely with my feelings over the death of my daughter and now that I am not looking forward to another preg/birth, I have to let go of the past and even face it.
Sounds like you guys have this wrapped up, but I wanted to add my 2 yen.
I’ve been following your posts because I’ve had two similar situations.
One, our second son that we named [name]Reilly[/name] died shortly after he was born and it’s affected the names we’ve chosen for our subsequent children. I worried about stepping on the name’s toes with other names–I adore the name [name]Marilla[/name], and love the nn [name]Rilla[/name], but worried it sounded too much like [name]Reilly[/name].
After talking about it with my husband and other people for the last 10 years ([name]Reilly[/name] died in 2000) my firm conclusion is that I [name]LOVE[/name] the similarity of [name]Rilla[/name] to [name]Reilly[/name]. I love that it honors an older brother. I prefer it, really.
So: name similarity is not necc. something to fear, and might be something to celebrate.
Also, I had a terrible time naming our second daughter. I had a “short list” a mile long and fretted about it for hours every day.
We named her one thing and filled out the paperwork and I had overwhelming namer’s remorse.
I, too, talked to an extremely unsympathetic person at the local SSA office (they don’t pay them to act human, you know).
And my mom did NOT like the name I chose. She didn’t like any of them. I tried very hard to please her with that daughter’s name, too, and her displeasure fed my anxiety.
This is why my #1 naming rule for myself is now PLEASE THYSELF. Trying to please other people with a name when you’ve got naming needs and goals is nigh impossible and can really rip you up. Ignore detracters and do what YOU like.
One thing led to another, I did a lot of thinking and praying and finally asked my beloved grandmother to pick a name FOR me. I had fretted myself into a corner where I trusted her judgement more than mine. Maybe you could do this with your husband?
In short, paperwork is NOT a big deal to change, esp. if done before the first birthday, and it happens all the time. I have had two kids now where their bassinet card doesn’t match their eventual for-reals birth certificate. Oh, well, I don’t see the bassinet card every day; I call them by name several times a day, so that’s the thing you need to worry about.
People didn’t care when I changed my daughter’s name (we finally settled on Hilani Hisamarie). Most of them didn’t even remember it from the first time they’d heard the original name, and those who DID know and remember also knew that I had gone off the deep end trying to feel good about her name, and they had the sense to stand back and smile and nod.
Take a deep breath. You will be okay. FORGET about what others might think or want, and think about what makes you happiest and GO with it. You will be fine.
First of all, I think [name]Amara[/name] sounds nothing like her sister and possibly the need to keep this babies name, understandably, sacred is clouding your judgement. I can understand as my baby sister was [name]Grace[/name] [name]Christina[/name] and both are now so off-limits, though I love them dearly.
I may have a solution for you. Many times the wrong FN/MN combo can get in the way of my deep, deep love for one or both of the names. I am wondering if [name]Seren[/name] is depriving you of your love for Soriya? So we come to my suggestion- since everyone is getting use to this lovely, uniqe name, keep it and use [name]Amara[/name] as the middle name instead of [name]Seren[/name].
[name]Don[/name]'t worry what others think, part of having a love for names is knowing when something is not quite “there” take your name affinity as a blessing to the [name]Clerk[/name] and change her name to whatever you see fit when it comes to you, which I am sure will be in the next few weeks.
Blessings,
[name]Bella[/name] <3