Accidentally named daughter super common name (Sophie, Sophia)

Girl Names
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Hi there!

I could use some advice. My beautiful daughter was born this fall, 2.5 months ago. My pregnancy was super stressful (COVID times) and included a move across the country at 7 months, husband starting a new job, no place to live until 4 weeks before giving birth, all of our things still in storage and living out of someone’s furnished home, little family support, etc.

On top of that, my birth was super traumatic, water broke and active labor started within the hour, ended up needing a C section. Needless to say I was super traumatized and exhausted and recovering and on pain meds when I first met my daughter. My husband and I hadn’t picked a finalized name for her because we wanted to meet her first. Our top favorites had been Quinn, Fiona, Samantha, Sophie and Alexandra. I also loved Nadine but my husband hated it.

We had been calling her Quinn much of the pregnancy but my family is Russian and can’t really pronounce it well. In the hospital we thought she looked and felt like a Sophie. So we named her Sophie Alexandra. I had seen that Sophia was a top name but Sophie came up much lower in popularity so I thought it would be fine.

A few weeks ago I had the realization that Sophia is even higher than it’s listed due to the alternative spelling of Sofia. Add on top of that all of the Sophies being born and now I’m terrified my daughter is going to be swimming in a sea of Sophia/Sofias/Sophies.

We love the name Sophie but not so much Sophia. She has already been mis-named Sophia a handful of times. We love Alexandra but my dad’s name is Alex which is why we originally put it as her middle name. Would it be weird at 3 months old to change her name to Alexandra Sophie instead? She does look and feel like an Alexandra as well as a Sophie, we love both names on her. But is it worth changing just because I’m worried about the popularity aspect? How big of a deal is it going to be? If anyone is currently a preschool/kindergarten teacher are there an ocean of Sophia/Sofia/Sophies in your classes?

Thank you!!

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Congratulations!

I think you’re fine leaving it as is if you don’t want to go through the process, but I would definitely change it around now if you’re set on doing so.

Many of my family have gone through their lives going by their middle names or a nickname from their middle name… it has never been a problem for them. For example, we’ve had: [name_u]Virgil[/name_u] Hɛnry “Hɛnry” ~ Lᴀurᴀ Jɛᴀnnɛ “Jɛᴀnnɛ” ~ Stɛphɛn Asᴀ “Acɛ” ~ Jɛssɛ Albɛrt “Bɛrt” ~ Sᴀmuɛl Frɛdɛrick “Frɛd”.

Also, I have a cousin whose daughter has a double middle name. [name_f]My[/name_f] cousin and her husband switch between the first name and 1st middle name interchangably (the 2nd middle is an honour for my cousin’s mom who died before her granddaughter was born) and her daughter responds to both.

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I teach in the [name_u]South[/name_u], and there are always kids every year who go by their middle names. I think last year I had one class in which the majority of the kids went by their middle names.

So it’s no big deal if she says, “I go by Alex” or “Sasha” or whatever you want to call her as an [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f]. Also, she’ll probably find her own nickname by the time she’s in school; we called my daughter [name_f]Katie[/name_f] for her early childhood but by middle school she called herself [name_u]Kitty[/name_u].

I would go with what makes you happy.

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Thank you so much! I do also love the nickname [name_u]Sasha[/name_u] for [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] since I’m Russian and it’s common nickname of both boys and girls.

Since you are a teacher have you been seeing an abundance of Sophie/Sophias in your classrooms the past few years as the name has become super popular?

Thank you!

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Firstly congratulations!

I’m really sorry you’ve been through such a challenging time and now are experiencing uncertainty about your little ones name. Similarly I had a very stressful pregnancy, a planned c-section but became very ill afterwards and experienced some doubt/regret about my daughter’s name if your anything like me your head will be scrambled! [name_m]Just[/name_m] try to take some time out breathe sometimes overthinking can make things worse. I would make a pros & cons list for both [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] & [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] really analyse the names individually to get a sense of what you like & don’t like. This really helped with me. I would then look up the popularity of [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] in your area. Popularity isn’t the same as what is was when we were at school there is a wider range of names so your [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] may share her name with another in her school/year or feel similar to [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] in her class but she won’t be drowning in a sea of Sophie’s so I would try to not worry and rationalise your thoughts about popularity. [name_f]My[/name_f] mum is a preschool teacher and has been teaching for years she’s only mentioned one [name_f]Sophia[/name_f]. I support women & children going through domestic abuse have helped dozens and dozens of families never come across a [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] or [name_f]Sophia[/name_f]. But I’m in the UK. She could go by [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] ‘Sasha’ lots of children go by their middle name and [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] is beautiful. Alternatively changing the name to [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] could work and is beautiful also that name change wouldn’t be an issue/weird or whatever neither would the change affect your child as babies don’t recognise their own name till 6 months old. I actually love [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] ‘Sasha’ but I think what you should do firstly is take a breather from this name situation then make a pros & cons list.

Wishing you all the best

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I read somewhere that Sophia/Sofia is the most common name worldwide, like, the most people alive today are named that. I love the name, but if you are worried about popularity at all, I would change the name.

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Whilst Sophia/Sophie is certainly the “Sarah” of this generation, it is a lovely name and popular for a reason. If you truly love it and it feels like her, I would suggest you stick with it as there are benefits to having a popular name! I also think [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] is such a fresh alternative to [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] which you do hear everywhere.

Otherwise I really like the suggestion of [name_u]Sasha[/name_u]. But only if it feels right!

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I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. Pregnancy and childbirth are stressful enough, and it sounds like you’ve been through the ringer.

First of all, your daughter has a gorgeous name. As others have pointed out, it’s popular because it’s classic and lovely. I also agree that Sophie is fresher than Sophia right now.

As a teacher and mother of three, however, I will say that your fears about popularity are well-founded. I have taught dozens of sofias/Sophies/Sophias over the past 15 years, and personally know of two Sophias born in the last 12 months (based in North America, in case that helps). There are 2 in my daughter’s class alone. Some of the Sofias/Sophias I have known do go by Sophie, so that does make it seem more popular.

While there is no point denying its popularity (at least in this part of the world), the bigger question is how much you love it/if that bothers you. Many people have a popular name and don’t mind at all! Some children I know even love having a name shared by peers/commonly referenced in pop culture.

For what it’s worth, Alexandra is an elegant alternative if you do go that route. And I second the comment about doing it now if you are going to do it at all. Good luck!

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Sophie/Sofia/Sophia is such a beautiful name, I definitely see why it’s so popular. The combination of Alexandra Sophie is beautiful too, so I would change it if I was scared of the popularity, personally. It wouldn’t be a big deal as many people are doing this after birth. But she’s only 3 months old, so I definitely think you have time to sit on this before you make a decision.

I’m in the southern US, and I have 2 second cousins named Sofia, 6 & 21 years old, and their nn is Sophie. I know a third baby who has Sofia as her middle name as well. However, that’s only my little bubble of people.

I wish you the very best of luck in finding peace with your baby’s name!

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Congratulations and I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a traumatic few months.

I don’t think [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] is too popular and it is a gorgeous name and it’s the one you’d settled on first, so I’d keep it. Also, I’ll throw in that the most popular names are less popular in terms of how many babies are actually named them these days so she may well be the only [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] in the class!

I’d recommend looking up the top names for where you are to see how [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] ranks and if it still bothers you, [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] is a lovely option too

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I’m a high school teacher, and I teach at a specialized school. Here in the Deep [name_u]South[/name_u] it’s only going to be middle/upper middle who use the name Sophie/Sophia, and I have yet to see that population come through my doors, even when I was teaching at a regular high school. There were a few, but not nearly as popular as other names (Emma and [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], for example, and all the “Bre” names).

[name_f]My[/name_f] son works at an after school care program, quite a large one, and they only have one [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] – she is eight.

The US is very regional, so I’d look at how popular [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] is in your region. [name_f]My[/name_f] feeling is that Sophie/Sophia is older than newborns, and other names have eclipsed it in the top 10.

As it is, Sophie/Sophia [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] is a beautiful name, and honestly, I don’t think popularity matters that much in the long scheme of things. I taught a kid named Chandelier, and I knew her well enough to know she’d have rather been [name_f]Sophie[/name_f].

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I would keep it as it is. [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] actually feels more popular to me because she’s so similar to so many names. I went to school with so many girls named [name_u]Allie[/name_u], [name_u]Lexi[/name_u], [name_u]Alex[/name_u], and [name_u]Alexis[/name_u]. They weren’t all [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] but the same sound is there.

The only name that sounds like [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] is [name_f]Sophia[/name_f]. I think in the long run she’s a more distinctive choice even if she’s trendy right now. And, for what it’s worth, I work in schools and have met very few Sophia’s and no Sophie’s.

I love the idea of you using the nickname [name_u]Sasha[/name_u] for her. Seems like that would solve many of your problems without having to change the name!

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Congratulations on your baby girl. From what I can see you have two options because you love both the names [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] and [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f].

Option #1: is you could switch her name up so that it would be [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] [name_f]Sophie[/name_f].

Option #2: is you leave her name as [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] and she just goes by her middle name [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f].

Because your dad is [name_u]Alex[/name_u] you could use a different nickname for [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f].
Possible nicknames are:

[name_u]Sandy[/name_u]
[name_f]Sandra[/name_f]
Lexi/Lexie
[name_u]Andrea[/name_u]
Dria
[name_f]Drea[/name_f]
Ria/Rhea
[name_u]Alexis[/name_u]
[name_f]Ally[/name_f]
[name_u]Sasha[/name_u]
[name_f]Lexa[/name_f]
There are more but I don’t know how dare to stretch the nicknames

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Out of my whole life, I only know 2 sophies and one sophia, but I am still in high school. I really love the name Sophia/Sophie but prefer [name_f]Sophie[/name_f], you may want to try alt spelling [name_f]Sofie[/name_f] though

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I would keep it as is. Popularity isn’t what it used to be.

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I would keep it as it is and then as she gets older if she wants a more unique name she could go by her middle or a nickname from her middle. Congrats on your baby <3

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[name_m]Hi[/name_m] there. You’ve gotten a lot of advice, all of it good but much of it conflicting. You may be feeling as confused as you were before you asked!

So I’ll chime in with another perspective. I love the name [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]. But your concern about the popularity is well founded. You are your daughter will always meet a lot of girls with some version of the name. There’s no point in denying or dismissing that and if it’s bothering you already, it’s only going to get mire intense as she goes out into the world and develops a circle of peers.

[name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] is less popular but kind of has the same problem in that there are many variations of the name so that you may hear more of them, male and female , than you like.

The idea of calling your daughter [name_u]Sasha[/name_u] is brilliant, and that name has as much in common with [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] as it does with [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f], at least to the American ear. So what about leaving her official name as it is for now and calling her [name_u]Sasha[/name_u]? You can start slow and see how it feels and then decide if you want to stick with it, make an official change, and to what.

If you look be calling her [name_u]Sasha[/name_u] and decide to stay with that, the name will be different from her birth certificate whether you switch the [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] and [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] or not.

I think when the name feels right in your heart, you won’t feel conflicted about what to do with the paperwork

People may be taken aback when you first introduce your child by a different name, but they’ll get used to it, and nobody cares as much as you do. You need to be happy and I believe the fact that you’re writing to us now means that you want to make the change.

Best of luck.

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[name_f]My[/name_f] hobby, like many others on here, is names. I spend lots of time researching them, and am well aware of popularity, both by the SSA lists and how that translates into real life–including how that compares to popular names of the last century. I am also an [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], and it was not at all uncommon in my [name_u]Texas[/name_u] schools to be one of three in the room. When I moved to [name_u]Kansas[/name_u] in high school, curiously, there were fewer. As I’ve become an adult, even fewer in my circle.

All that is to say, if I have another daughter, my top name is [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]. I’m armed with all the info, and I would still choose it. I love it. That’s what matters.

I also keep a log (for fun) of names my friends/family/acquaintances are using for their kids (my kids’ contemporaries). There is one [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] and one Sophia-called-Sophie among my out-of-state acquaintances (I may never see these people again).

For comparison (name nerd alert):
4 Eleanors
3 Evelyns, 2 go by [name_f]Evie[/name_f]
2 Everlys and an [name_f]Everlea[/name_f], 2 go by [name_f]Evie[/name_f]
3 Madelyns
3 [name_f]Marys[/name_f]
3 Olivias
2 Adelines and one [name_f]Adaline[/name_f] and one [name_u]Addison[/name_u], 2 go by Addy/Addi
2 Amelias
2 Cecilias
2 Chloes
2 Claires
2 Delaneys
2 Ellies and an [name_f]Ellyott[/name_f] called [name_f]Elly[/name_f] and an [name_f]Eliza[/name_f] called [name_f]Ellie[/name_f]
2 Junipers, both go by [name_u]June[/name_u]
2 Stellas
2 Sydneys
2 Zoës
1 [name_f]Brooklynn[/name_f], 1 [name_u]Brooklyn[/name_u], and 1 [name_u]Brooke[/name_u], 2 go by [name_m]Brookie[/name_m]
1 [name_f]Ella[/name_f] and an [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] called [name_f]Ella[/name_f]

See what I mean? 2 Junipers?! That’s not what you’d expect. I know one little girl [name_f]Emma[/name_f] and absolutely NO Avas.

If you love [name_f]Sophie[/name_f], call her [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]. She may be the only one in her circle. If she’s not, she’ll be fine. Given the numbers (Sophie now compared to [name_u]Ashley[/name_u] in '86), it would be very unlikely that she’d be one of three in her classroom. :two_hearts:

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[name_m]Hi[/name_m] there! Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I can very much relate to the stress you experienced prior to your daughter’s arrival. [name_m]Just[/name_m] reading your post took me back to just that feeling of so many things unknown prior to one of the biggest moments in life, the birth of a child. I am sorry you had all of this stress right up to your daughter’s birth.

We adopted our daughter 3 weeks into statewide shutdown of 2020 pandemic. She was born premature and things were chaotic to say the least. We had somewhat decided on a girl name prior to our match with her birth mother, but I really wanted to wait and meet baby at birth to make final decision. Ultimately, as we were headed to the hospital, hospitals made the decision to not allow visitors. I was allowed in to adopt our daughter and name her, had to stay in for 48 hrs, while my husband could not come inside. When I met her, I really doubted our name choice. But how in the world could we begin discussing names in that moment, similar to you saying your birth experience being high stress.

If I’m honest, I regretted her name for 3-4 months. I finally shared with my husband and after a long and honest conversation, it wasn’t her name that I was regretting, I was grieving how her name was finalized-that things were chaotic in the hospital, he wasn’t there with me, and not at all the experience I had imagined. Talking through that (multiple times), helped me to be at peace the name that was chosen for her. Now, she’s 20 months old and truly there is not a better name for her. Her name is also popular and many times I’ve read on the Nameberry forums that it’s “too common”. Yet, we haven’t met another. I know with time we will, but I would love that! It will just reaffirm that others love her name too.

I adore the name [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]! If we adopt again, I would love to name her [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]. It’s incredibly charming, spunky, and timeless. It has characteristics that many names do not have. If I was you, I wouldn’t change it. You love it, your husband loves it, and baby girl looks like a [name_f]Sophie[/name_f].

Also, the above post reaffirms that while [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] is high on the charts, that doesn’t guarantee your family will know as many as you think. In my daughters entire school (approx 200 students), there are 2 Sophias and zero Sophie’s.

Best of luck!

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I teach in [name_u]Texas[/name_u] and have never had a [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]. I’ve had a few Sophias and Alexandras though. Like another poster said, I would look at regional popularity to get an idea of which name is used more.