[name]One[/name] of my good friends ([name]Susannah[/name]) has 2 kids, [name]Nathaniel[/name] [name]Vincent[/name] who is 10, and [name]Annabella[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] who is 8. Her daughter has hated her name since she could talk, and has never responded to it. She tells my friend that the name is ‘icky’ and goes by [name]Emma[/name] in school (she chose it herself). She’s been [name]Emma[/name] since she was 4, and all of her friends know her as [name]Emma[/name]. At home, the family calls her [name]Bea[/name] (it was a nickname [name]Nate[/name] called her because he could never pronounce [name]Annabella[/name] correctly, creating the cutesy [name]Bea[/name]), and rarely ever do they ever call her [name]Annabella[/name] or any form for it. My friend adores the name [name]Annabella[/name], but if her daughter doesn’t like it, has talked about legally changing her name to [name]Emma[/name]. I personally feel like she should wait until [name]Bea[/name] gets older, because maybe one day she’ll come to like [name]Annabella[/name], especially since this poor girl has so many names! But I told my friend that I’d see what you berries think!
Hmmm. I think that I would continue calling her [name]Bea[/name] if she was my daughter. I would also try therapy to learn more about why she is so opposed to being called [name]Annabella[/name] or any common derivative of it. I definetly wouldn’t do a legal name change for a child so young who has a socially acceptable name. I feel like no one would want the name they pick at 8 once they’re 28.
I think that they should let her introduce herself as [name]Emma[/name] to her friends, and they can continue to call her [name]Bea[/name] at home (as long as her daughter doesn’t mind [name]Bea[/name]). Then wait until she is 18, and if she still feels more like an [name]Emma[/name] than an [name]Annabella[/name], then she can legally change it before college. Who knows, by age 18, she may be introducing herself as [name]Bea[/name] to everyone…or maybe she will prefer [name]Beatrix[/name]…or even [name]Annabella[/name]…and a legal change would not be necessary.
I wouldn’t read too much into her aversion to [name]Annabella[/name]…it’s a beautiful name, but it is very girly and frilly. I can understand why she may not identify with it. If she does decide she want to stick with [name]Emma[/name], [name]Emma[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] is an adorable name!
I agree 100%. Therapy can do a lot more than a legal name change does at her age.
If she has so easily adopted [name]Emma[/name] I wonder if she might eventually come around to [name]Anna[/name]?
It’s nice that her family is accepting of her use of [name]Emma[/name], I think support and love is all around good, but yeah, 8 is still too young.
I had an acquaintance who legally changed her name at around 13, and to my knowledge she hadn’t really hated her birth name that she’d ever shared. But she was a twin, and she and the twin had very similar names. For privacy I won’t share but it was kind of a groaner to berry taste - a little bit better than [name]Ana[/name] and [name]Annie[/name] but really close to that. Anyway, my point being I don’t know that waiting til 18 is necessary, although it makes sense, but I do think 8 is really young.
[QUOTE=taz;1628163]Hmmm. I think that I would continue calling her [name]Bea[/name] if she was my daughter. I would also try therapy to learn more about why she is so opposed to being called [name]Annabella[/name] or any common derivative of it. I definetly wouldn’t do a legal name change for a child so young who has a socially acceptable name. I feel like no one would want the name they pick at 8 once they’re 28.[/QUOTE)
Stating that someone’s child needs mental help because of never liking their name is absurd. I am sure you are not a mental health professional and you should think about what you say before you type it.
In the case of the name change, I would honor the wish of the child to be called what she wants but let her change her name herself at 18.
I don’t think anyone was trying to say that she needs mental help! Behaviour therapy is completely different and people can access it for a variety of reasons and not just because they are insane. Parents might want to find out if there was something that triggered the strong hate for her name and they can do this through therapy if they wish to but no one is in anyway suggesting this child has problems.
Anyway, I agree with everything everybody else has said about leaving the name as it is and she may one day come round to it.