AGONIZING name dilemma...This should be a Seinfeld episode!

Girl Names
21

My husband is open to the idea of [name]Mabyn[/name]. We are still letting is settle a little while. It is definitely on the list, which is very very short…two names to be exact. We are trying to be extremely open to ideas. We felt that we should stick with M names, especially since this is our last child. We’ve been told by so many people how awful it would be to veer away from M names at this point, that we would be singling our fourth child out by giving them a non-M name. Given the situation, we may try to explore other letters. After all, we will most certainly tell our child in the future that her name was “[name]Mabel[/name]” for four months. Then, shortly before her birth, we were forced to think of something else. We are looking at “M” names first, of course. If I can’t find anything that I just adore, though, I am open to going to another letter. Surely our little one will understand that we preferred to give her a name we really loved, rather than a name that we only sort of liked, just because it had the “right” first letter? We are looking at “M” names right now.

[name]Mabyn[/name] is definitely on the list. Another name that crossed my mind today was [name]Hazel[/name]. I don’t like it as well as [name]Mabel[/name], and there is no family connection to the name, but it has a similar “old lady vintage” type feel. That is one thing [name]Mabyn[/name] lacks, in my opinion, though it is a beautiful name. I’m not quite sure what category it is in, probably because I’ve never heard of it. I love how unique it is and how it lends itself to similar nicknames “[name]Mabs[/name]” and such, though. I wonder if she would have trouble with people misspelling her name, if it should be spelled Maben or Mabin? [name]Just[/name] things I’m mulling around for a while. Does [name]Mabyn[/name] sound feminine enough, or might people mistake her for a boy? I’m sortof old fashioned that way. I like there to be no confusion about the gender of the child. If we use [name]Mabyn[/name], I’m sure I would have to pair it with an ultra-frilly middle name…such as [name]Evangeline[/name]. :slight_smile:

I would definitely go for a name like [name]Winifred[/name] or [name]Penelope[/name], but my hubby is not a fan. :slight_smile: My husband has suggested that I take a few days off from thinking about baby names and then start fresh in a few days. I think that is what I will do.

Thank you all so much for your help! These forums have been a tremendous form of encouragement at a time when I can’t confide in friends or family. I so appreciate the time that went into each and every response. It has been so helpful!

22

I think the nickname thing could be hard to enforce… it’s natural for kids to go back and forth between their nicknames and their full names–we don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about it, usually. It would be, I’m afraid, difficult in reality to make sure your daughter were only going by a nn around family–making sure your other kids ONLY call her the approved nn could be a heck of a thing to police. And let’s face it, kids do develop a mind of their own eventually and will just go by (and insist on being called) what THEY want, not what we have decided is going to work for our purposes. It just seems to add a level of awkwardness and complication.

I guess my whole take is that sometimes in families we just have to say, ok, I understand how you feel, and hope the next time we need a little understanding, it comes back to us. I do know of some families where the close in age cousins have very similar names ([name]Natalie[/name] and [name]Nathan[/name], [name]Rose[/name] and [name]Rosalie[/name], etc), but it seems like unless the family were the sort to really enjoy the matchy element, it could end up just feeling dumb for the kids, especially if they live around each other and play together often. I guess those are the factors I’d be compelled to consider.

I do think it’s a good idea to take a little breather from name thinking – that did help me. Kind of to clear the palate.

I think [name]Mabyn[/name] is nice sounding (it does MEAN ‘boy’, right?) – but I do see how it breaks in style from your other kids’ names. Also, sometimes it’s worse to use something that was ‘close’ to a beloved name you have to abandon–because you always are reminded of the name that was ‘first choice’, rather than moving on to something totally different. I love [name]Winifred[/name] and [name]Penelope[/name], and the nicknames [name]Winnie[/name] and [name]Penny[/name] are very sweet. What about [name]Phoebe[/name]?

23

Am I the only one who thinks that you should just name your daughter [name]Mabel[/name]? [name]Abel[/name] and [name]Mabel[/name] will be cousins–not siblings. You can call her [name]Mae[/name] or [name]Mabs[/name] or whatever when you’re around family. Whatever anyone else does is up to them. I really feel like your sister should understand, maybe not now, but someday.

That being said, I understand if you don’t want to. If I were you, I might still use [name]Mabel[/name] as a middle name or pet name at home. Or maybe name her something like [name]Mabyn[/name] [name]Elle[/name] or [name]Maeve[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name] so she can still be “[name]Mab[/name]+el”?

24

If you like [name]Mabel[/name] and [name]Hazel[/name]… how about Mazel? It’s a made up name (as far as I know) but doesn’t sound too weird? (hey it actually is a word: http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/160965/jewish/What-Does-Mazel-[name]Tov[/name]-Mean.htm)

25

Mommyx3- I just wanted to say that I appreciate your point about nicknames being hard to police. That is a very good point.

I just wanted to clear some things up.

We have taken [name]Mabel[/name] off of our name list. As much as we love it, we are in agreement that we simply cannot use it.

All that to say, I still feel like I am grieving over what was lost. I know that probably sounds silly to some.

I’m not angry with my sister and am doing the best I can to work things out for her benefit. Obviously, my relationship with my sis is worth working through the hurt involved with letting go of the only thing I know about my unborn daughter, her name.

I feel a bit frustrated at being issued what amounted to an ultimatum by my sister’s husband, but I understand his point of view. I also understand that my sis just had a baby a few days ago and is highly emotional. I would probably respond the same if I were in her situation. The only reason I ever thought the nickname thing might be okay is that I come from an extremely large family. There are nine grandkids already. I anticipate there being more than twenty by the time all of my siblings have all of their children. [name]Abel[/name] and “[name]Mabel[/name]” will live six hours from each other and only see each other on holidays. In several years, if my sis and her husband move nearby, they would live at least an hour away. I guess my initial thought that maybe some type of a compromise could’ve been reached. I am the oldest of six children and the first to have kids. I feel REALLY sorry for the youngest siblings in my family when it is time for them to name their children. Finding names that don’t sound anything like the others will grow increasingly difficult. These are all reasons that I DID consider it working out. Obviously, it was not meant to be, and I have definitely accepted that and am moving on. :slight_smile:

So, you need not worry about me pushing on with the name [name]Mabel[/name]. We are putting it to the side and starting over. Thanks again for all of the helpful suggestions, encouragement and input! On a positive note, I get to meet [name]Abel[/name] tomorrow. He is most definitely a treasure and I can’t wait to hold him!

26

Have you thought about just going with [name]May[/name]/[name]Mae[/name]? I think it’s sweet, vintage, and uncommon. I also like the [name]Mitzi[/name], [name]Margot[/name], and [name]Moira[/name] suggestions.

27

I think you should go ahead and use [name]Mabel[/name]. Having cousins with rhyming names is not that big of a deal, especially if they are not going to see each other very often. I know, I have a cousin with the same name as me. I also have 2 brothers-in-law with the same name as some of my cousins and several pairs of cousins with the same name as each other. Your sister will be fine. She has several months to get used to it.

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I love the suggestion of [name]Maeve[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name]! You can still get ‘[name]Mabel[/name]’ out of that, or call her [name]May[/name] as a nickname. Wonderful!

[name]Maeve[/name] also fits wonderfully with your other girl’s names.

[name]Mary[/name] [name]Alice[/name], [name]Milla[/name] [name]Josephine[/name] and [name]Maeve[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name].

29

[name]Hi[/name]!

Your kids have great names - I think [name]Mary[/name] [name]Alice[/name], [name]Major[/name], and [name]Milla[/name] are just wonderful! You’re right; [name]Mabel[/name] would have fit in wonderfully, but I think you are right to not use it in light of your sister choosing [name]Abel[/name] for her first child. However, I don’t think that means you have to completely give up [name]Mabel[/name], especially since you say this is your last baby! Why not use [name]Mabel[/name] as her middle name?

These might work:

[name]Maisie[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - A lot of that “ay” sound, but [name]Maisie[/name]'s cute!
[name]Margaux[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - [name]Love[/name] this with [name]Mary[/name] [name]Alice[/name], [name]Major[/name], and [name]Milla[/name]! You could also use [name]Margot[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] or [name]Margo[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]…
[name]Marnie[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - Perhaps too close to [name]Mary[/name].
[name]Martha[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - This one is just a fun vintage name that isn’t used very often.
[name]Maxie[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - Spunky like [name]Major[/name], this one has a lot of energy!
[name]Mercy[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - This one has great meaning, and it is a really fun, special name.
[name]Mildred[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - This is a lot of “old lady” names together, and it might be too close to [name]Milla[/name], honestly…
[name]Minnie[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - Again, this is so cute with [name]Major[/name], especially, and it is fun and perky!
[name]Molly[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] - [name]Molly[/name] is a diminutive of [name]Mary[/name], which concerns me, but this is a cute name.

So, my favorite is [name]Margaux[/name] [name]Mabel[/name], with whatever spelling floats your boat - [name]Margaux[/name] ([name]Margo[/name], [name]Margot[/name]) means “pearl,” which is sweet. This way, you get a two-syllable M name like you’ve used for [name]Mary[/name] ([name]Alice[/name]), [name]Major[/name], and [name]Milla[/name], and you get to at least use [name]Mabel[/name]. That way, when you tell your daughter that her first name was [name]Mabel[/name] before she was born, it still gets to at least be a part of her “real” name. I would hate to see you have to completely abandon a name you love, and I don’t think your sister and her husband could begrudge you for using it as a middle name. Plus, the alliterative initials are a fun touch! You can call her M-n-M! I only say that because my friend’s aunt [name]Margaret[/name] [name]Mary[/name] goes by M-n-M, like the candies…

If you were to expand on your syllabic count, you could try names like these:

[name]Madeline[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]
[name]Magdalen[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]
[name]Marcheline[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]
[name]Margaret[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]
[name]Marian[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]
[name]Marigold[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]
[name]Mathilda[/name] [name]Mabel[/name]

Best of luck to you!

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile:

30

It’s funny, I was just going to suggest putting [name]Mabel[/name] in the middle spot. Then your daughter always has the option to choose to use it herself as an alternative down the road—and I doubt anyone is going to care by that point (plus it would be her call). I love the suggestions [name]Lemon[/name] had of [name]Mercy[/name] and [name]Margo[/name]. I think they’re both wonderful options with history and substance.

I really do sympathize with the difficulty you’re having with this and hope you’re able to settle on something that feels special. I’m also in my final month of pregnancy (also with no final name), and I know that this isn’t an easy time to have to deal with upheaval, indecision, or family stress of any kind.

And yikes, when you said how many grandchildren you ultimately envision in your family, I [name]DO[/name] feel sorry for the younger ones–having to come up with totally unrelated names! Perhaps there will be more leniency for them!

31

[name]LOVE[/name] [name]Maeve[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name]! that seems perfect! maeve matches your style alot better than mabyn and i think maeve is prettier :slight_smile: im sure youll see maeve will fit her just fine!

32

[name]Maeve[/name] [name]Eleanora[/name] or [name]Mae[/name] [name]Eleanora[/name] would be beautiful and fitting, [name]IMO[/name]. It’s different from [name]Abel[/name] but keeps a link to [name]Mabel[/name].

Or, just give her the middle name [name]Mabel[/name] so you don’t feel such a great loss. I know a few kids that are known by first or middle names, depending on who it is.

33

[name]Maeve[/name] is beautiful name, I agree. We will have to look into that. [name]Mae[/name] is also beautiful. We have a very common last name that is also one syllable. I wonder if it would seem too plain and not very phonetically pleasing to have two one syllable names? [name]Just[/name] thinking… They are both very very pretty. Thank you. :slight_smile:

34

If [name]Maeve[/name] is too short you might want to consider [name]Maeva[/name]. It is vintage, very uncommon and would flow with a one syllable ln. It also gives you the nn [name]Mae[/name].

35

[name]Maeva[/name] is nice. My french teacher in high school was named [name]Maeva[/name]. She said it means Hello in Hatian creole or something like that. I would probably just go with [name]Maeva[/name] unless one syllable first and last name really bothers you.

36

[name]Magnolia[/name] nn [name]NOLA[/name] very vintage old lady.

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You could be kind of sneaky and name your baby [name]Mae[/name] [name]Belle[/name]. :slight_smile: I actually think it’s really pretty!

38

LOL I love the pp comment about [name]Mae[/name] [name]Belle[/name]. :slight_smile:

If [name]Maeve[/name] bugs you with a one syllable ln, what about [name]Mavis[/name]? That evokes a similar old-ladyish, charming, vintage air as [name]Mabel[/name] to me. :slight_smile:

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[name]Hi[/name] there,

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, but it would make a pretty excellent sitcom storyline…

I really think you should use [name]Mabel[/name] as a middle name, and even call her by [name]Mabel[/name] within your immediate family, but have the first name when you’re with extended family. If you have been calling her [name]Mabel[/name] all along, then clearly she’s [name]Mabel[/name], almost like she named herself (if that doesn’t come across too bizarrely). My mn is [name]Elizabeth[/name] and my cousin’s fn is [name]Elizabeth[/name] and I actually quite like sharing a name. Plus, I think it’s super adorable that [name]Mabel[/name] can be an acronym for Mothers Always Bring Extra [name]Love[/name] (Thanks Mad About You circa mid 90’s).

As far as first, you could stick with the M’s and you have gotten plenty of great ideas for that, but you could also go with an A name which would go with [name]Mary[/name]'s [name]Alice[/name]…

Here are some that are either classic, spunk or just fun, which seems to be how your others are…
[name]Abby[/name]-
[name]Anya[/name]-“grace” as in handles an AGONIZING dilemma with grace :wink:
[name]Abra[/name]
[name]Anais[/name]
[name]Adeline[/name]-“noble” kind of fitting since she’s having to take the higher road and sacrifice her name…
[name]Aria[/name]

I think [name]Adeline[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] and [name]Anais[/name] [name]Mabel[/name] are both lovely.

I hope you find something you absolutely adore (and I hope you stick with [name]Mabel[/name]!!)

40

I definitely second the [name]Mavis[/name] suggestion. It’s totally got that old-lady-cool charm about it that [name]Mabel[/name] has.

And Maven’s a pretty fun name, too, as a couple other people were commenting. As is [name]Maris[/name]. And [name]Mamie[/name] has the great old-lady vintage feel, too.

I don’t think you should have to give up the overall aesthetic of [name]Mabel[/name] just because your grumpy sister won’t let you use the name. There are so many fun Ma- names out there!

P.S. I don’t know why “Maven” won’t come up as a name on here. It’s totally a name… :?