I posted on here a few days ago. I am reposting about my situation because it has changed.
I come from a large family. I am the oldest of four sisters. We all share the need to have somewhat unique names for our babies. None of us could be considered laid back or go with the flow type people. Basically, our kids’ names are pretty important to us. None of us would ever consider a name that was in the top 500. It just isn’t our style. Also, I have one of the most common last names imaginable, so finding a unique first name is pretty important to me.
All that to say, here is my super annoying, horrifying dilema…
I am due in a few weeks with my fourth child, a daughter. I currently have two daughters and a son. Their names? [name]Mary[/name] [name]Alice[/name] ([name]Mary[/name]-[name]Alice[/name], a double name), [name]Major[/name] (the boy), and [name]Milla[/name] [name]Josephine[/name] (pronounced Mill-uh). My hubby and I have poured over the usual name books. Being that it is our fourth child, we have only been able to agree on one name…[name]Mabel[/name]. We have been calling our unborn daughter [name]Mabel[/name] for four months. “[name]Mabel[/name]” has been prayed over, sung to, and nicknamed. [name]Mabel[/name] is her identity to us at this point. All that we know of our daughter is her name, which we so lovingly call [name]Mabel[/name]. She was named so for multiple reasons, one of which was that [name]Mabel[/name] is a family name, the name of a favored great aunt who passed away within the past year. Her name means “loveable”. We have pictured our loveable and final child for months.
Our family always is very secretive about their name selections. We have never shared the identity of our babies until the day of their birth. Here is the horrible dilemma. My sister had her baby boy a few days ago. They decided on calling him the name that they had also kept a secret for a long time… “[name]Abel[/name]”. This news hit me horribly. I feel as though my own daughter’s name is being stolen from her somehow because of this strange coincedence.
Based on advice I received on this forum, I called my sister and talked with her about the matter. Because we are so attached to this name and also have NO other names on our lists. ([name]Remember[/name], this is our 4th child), I explained the situation and offered a compromise. [name]How[/name] would she feel about our baby being named [name]Mabel[/name], but being called by her nickname around our family ([name]Mabs[/name] or [name]Mae[/name]) to alleviate confusion? What was her take on these events?
[name]Both[/name] she and her husband are extremely unreceptive to any kind of a compromise. As far as they are concerned, even though we didn’t do this intentionally, and even though we have not one other name that we like, they have informed us that if we choose to go ahead with announcing the name of our child (not the proposed name, but the actual name that we have had for four months), both she and her husband will be “extremely hurt”. They feel that our continuing to use this name would detract from the uniqueness of the name of their firstborn son and detract from his uniqueness and specialness somehow.
I feel like we are put in such a horrible place. On one hand, I see how frustrating this situation must be for them. On the other hand, it is just as, if not more frustrating for us. I don’t want to name my child a name that I dont’ love. She already has a name…[name]Mabel[/name]. On the other hand, I come from an extremly critical and snippety family and am afraid of what would happen should we continue on with announcing the name “[name]Mabel[/name]” as our daughter’s own. I can see it now… Without my sister’s blessing or willingness to compromise, my whole family would see our decision to go ahead with the name “[name]Mabel[/name]” as a slap in the face and a total disregard for my sister’s feelings. Nobody would see the facts that we, too, already had the name, that we too, felt it was special and unique.
Those are not my intentions. I have already spent hours upon hours contemplating the baby name thing. In the past (for instance, with our first and second children), it would be a painful loss to give up the name, but we would be able to then go to a list that had two or three suitable options on it. As it is, without this problem, we’ve only been able to agree on one name…[name]Mabel[/name].
I SO wish that we could work things out, that my sis could try to see it from my point of view…that we literally don’t like any other “M” names. I’ve had so many suggested to me ranging from [name]Matilda[/name] (which I think sounds like a warty witch), to [name]Mandolin[/name] (a musical instrument), to [name]Maggie[/name] (reminds me of a snotty nosed kid I had when I was teaching). Furthermore, we haven’t been able to agree on any names outside of the “M” family. We are worn out from thinking. I have been up most of the night for the last several nights pouring through each of our seven baby name books. It is beyond frustrating. 
I really am trying to figure this out. My sister and her husband say that if they had known the week before that we were thinking of [name]Mabel[/name], they would have changed their name immediately and that we should do the same. If only it were that easy! I am one who is obsessed with the naming process already. I have ALREADY purchased seven baby name books and looked through them all to find a suitable name. I have already visited several forums. The name [name]Mabel[/name] felt like a Godsend a few months ago. Finally! A name that we both loved, with the added bonus that it was a family name, the name of my Great Aunt [name]Mabel[/name]. [name]How[/name] perfect!
I feel like a part of my child, the only part of my child that I know at this point, is being put to death somehow. It is very painful. Meanwhile, my sister and her husband are waiting in the wings, ready to be “hurt” by something that I think could be minimized by a nickname or some other compromise. Part of me wants to scream "What about MY hurt? My daughter was special and unique too! What about the stress that you are causing to ME? Why must I be the one to have to change everything, especially when I feel so out of options already.
I do love my sis and want to try my best to preserve our relationship. I feel like she is being irrational by not bending in any way to make this work. I just don’t know what to do!
I am losing sleep over this and need some kind of an answer. I would rather my child’s name ruffle a few feathers than be one that neither I, nor my husband likes very much. I just don’t know what to do!
What do I do??
…im very sorry about your situation:( sometimes it helps to know youre not the only one. i actually have a great aunt mabel too:) but maybe mabyn, maeve or mae would be the way to go since it would forever be a sore spot in the family:/ or you could go with a different letter. i know a fam that the 5th child is a different letter cuz they liked that name better than the other letter options. keep us updated!!