I’m just wondering how common doing this is! I feel like I see a fair bit of pregnancy announcements, but I also have a few friends who, although I’m FB friends with them, found out they were expecting in person and don’t recall them posting about it. I feel like most pregnancies are announced on FB.
I never did this. For me, it seemed a bit like oversharing (though I don’t think that of others announcements). Everyone who mattered found out from me personally or from a family member. I wrote it in my [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] cards to people I don’t see/speak to often but are close enough that I wanted to tell them.
I did post a sono pic on Instagram, but all my instagram friends already knew. That was much more private. On FB, I have friends who are more professional aquaintances, networking type people, old friends I no longer keep touch with but feel bad deleting, etc…people who [name_f]IMO[/name_f] it’s none of their business. Stuff like sharing pics of my shower made sense because lots of friends were there, those who weren’t wanted to see, but I felt like saying “I’m pregnant” is something geared towards the only people who didn’t rank high enough to learn privately, and those people don’t need to know at all.
Since I have a feeling this is pretty common: why did you choose to announce/share your pregnancy/gender reveal/whatever on Social media?
Isn’t everything shared on Facebook oversharing and unnecessary. I have a lot of friends from college that I’ve lost touch with but I feel like we kind of keep up with each other’s lives through Facebook. I know I enjoy hearing that they are expecting and then seeing pictures of their growing children. We waited until after all our close friends, family and employers knew before announcing it on Facebook. Also waiting until I was out of the first trimester so that the risks for miscarriage and having to un-announce were smaller. I posted ultrasound pictures with all three pregnancies to Facebook as well. However just one or two total through the whole pregnancy. And when the baby arrives we’ll post an announcement on Facebook after calling only a handful of people. It’s an easier way to let a lot of people know without requiring us to spend the days after our new baby is born calling a long list of people. We both come from big families so even just calling our parents, grandparents, siblings and a couple really close friends takes awhile. I also think announcing with [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] cards depends on your due date. My son was due in February and by [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] I was very pregnant and about to enter the third trimester. Other people have babies at times of the year when they aren’t even pregnant around Christmastime at all.
I think it really depends on your personality and what you use social media for. Some people are intensely private and don’t announce anything, but the majority of people I know did do some kind of announcement. Personally, I will announce on FB if I ever get pregnant. I’ll tell close friends and family first, of course, but as I have lived all over and have friends abroad from several student exchanges, there is no way to tell all my friends in person or even on the phone. Likewise with my family, who live all over continental [name_u]North[/name_u] [name_u]America[/name_u] with others in Europe. I use FB to keep up with people that I don’t get a chance to connect with in person much, so I love seeing that someone is engaged, married, has a baby, etc. That said, having gone through nearly two years of unsuccessful TTC has made me more circumspect about how much I will post about pregnancy and babies on FB and I can’t see myself doing weekly bump photos like some of my friends do. (No offense to anyone who does those; I’ve just experienced how it can feel like my entire feed is full of babies and bumps, and I probably will not post as much for that reason.) If there are people I feel like I can’t delete, yet don’t want them in on all the details of my life, I just add them to my ‘limited profile’ and they can’t see my posts. I mean, of course no one on my FB needs to know, but as @Feberin said, Facebook is kind of made for sharing stuff that no one really needs to know, but a fair number might be interested in anyway!
I posted it on Facebook, because a lot of the people I care about do not live close and I don’t get to see them often. I told close family and friends first, and then posted it. It was so fun revealing the gender. We posted sono pics before the party and the anticipation of finding out was fun, even for those who couldn’t come to the party. I am selective in who I allow to be my friends and my profile is set to private, so I don’t see a problem with it.
Facebook [name_f]IMO[/name_f] is centered entirely around “oversharing” and not so much need based information. If I used facebook entirely on what people “need” to know I wouldn’t bother having an account. The point for me to add people is because I don’t mind sharing my private life with them and if I do mind, they don’t get added. I have a lot of people who I don’t talk to regularly but it’s great to see their little families grow or positive things happening in their lives. I would let close family/friends know first but I absolutely intend to share on FB when I am pregnant. I also have a lot of family in Saudi [name_f]Arabia[/name_f] and the Middle [name_f]East[/name_f] and sharing information with them via mail or anything like that is incredibly complicated. So a Facebook post makes it super quick and easy to share with a lot of people at once.
I also despise phone calls so I can’t see myself calling anyone to share any kind of information. I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with choosing to share the journey and excitement or choosing to keep it private. Some people are more private than others and it’s okay to be either way. Use the site however makes you most comfortable.
I’ll be posting on Facebook when the time comes, as that’s how my long-distance friends and I really communicate. Plus all the distant relatives, old coworkers and acquaintances, people who are going to want to know but I wouldn’t really be e-mailing or Skyping them to tell them.
BUT, I know several of my friends get a little annoyed at seeing sonogram pictures and constant baby updates on Facebook. So with that in mind I’m going to be posting some “[name_u]Baby[/name_u] Due On…” picture that doesn’t include a sonogram photo to announce along with a link to a blog or something that will have more updates, sonogram pictures, that sort of thing for people who are actually interested.
My husband and I disagree about this for us personally. I don’t actually have Facebook, he does. I am maybe a little crazy about this- I would prefer if photos of our son were never be shared on Facebook or Instagram. But my husband does share these. He is careful about which photos, but he does post some. And I really don’t want him to announce this pregnancy online (honestly, I don’t want to tell anyone till after the baby is born. I want to just buy a bunch of muumuus and let everyone assume I am getting fat.)
But FB is how my husband stays connected to both of our large families and all of our more distant friends. He is like our family social chair. He has everything set as privately as possible, personally knows everyone he is friends with, and tells me that he can do a targeted announcement. He has also sworn not to post sonograms or photos of my belly. I know that these can be hard for some people to see and I don’t want to add to that.
For him, it’s just a lot more practical than calling everyone individually. Of course the people we are very close to we have told or will tell in person or via phone call. My grandma is not going to find out on Facebook, for instance.
I agree it is a personal choice and there is no right or wrong answer. I like seeing announcements from old friends. I also think it may depend on how close you really are to your Facebook friends. I have never been one to friend a lot of people, especially if I don’t really feel like we’re friends. And like a few others, most of my friends and family are long distance, so fb is a convenient platform for a mass announcement. We told our close friends and family first but then posted a video of the NT ultrasound to announce on Facebook. One more thought…if your friends list has people you’re not close enough to share a pregnancy with, can’t you just make a “close friends” list and share with them?
I think for me, I use a lot of other outlets (phone, text, email, Skype, private message, even snail mail and cards) to keep in touch with my close friends…and my less close friends who would want to know ARE close with my close friends, so would hear from them.
I suppose if I didn’t speak to my extended family and close friends, even long distance, at least once every month or so, FB would be a good way to let them know.
Its not so much a privacy thing…I don’t really care if my ex-coworker’s and friend’s families and the owner of a local business I frequent see sono pics or hear about it. I just don’t really care what they’d have to say about it, and everyone else has made their congrats in person.
For me, I think I have around 250 FB friends, and maybe 20 of them max didn’t know I was expecting until I announced the birth.
We did post an announcement to Facebook with this pregnancy, but we definitely waited until after the first trimester and also until we had told everyone in our close circle of family and friends that needed to know in person.
We didn’t really have a definitive list of reasons why we should or shouldn’t, it was just something both SO and I wanted to do. It was the right choice for us. We both have extended family and friends out of state that we just don’t talk to often enough to send an email with photos or call with updates every week/month, but they still wanted to ‘follow along’ in some way. Plus it was just a convenience factor - instead of sending a dozen emails with photos or making a dozen calls, we just post one picture to Facebook and everyone who wants to can see it (within reason, I have strict privacy settings - SO not so much). If people don’t care they’ll un-friend me or scroll past it. That’s their prerogative.
That said I have two people in my ‘close’ circle who chose not to post on Facebook. My cousin didn’t post anything until her baby was born, and then everyone was shocked because most of her Facebook friends had no idea she was pregnant. She posts daily pics of her daughter now and no one seems to mind. My best friend didn’t post anything until a 36 week belly pic, and after that an announcement of her son’s birth, but she will not allow anyone to post photos of him.
I think it’s personal. If you don’t feel you need to, don’t make a big announcement. For me if people who are more distant or whose opinion I wouldn’t necessarily care about want to celebrate and follow along with my pregnancy, they’re more than welcome to. They may not need to know, but that’s ok. If it bugs them, they won’t follow it. But do what feels right to you.
@tarynkay, we are the same way. My husband is on FB but I quit years ago, so he is the one who is friends with a lot of my extended family and friends and acquaintances. He doesn’t post often (as far as I know, hah). For this pregnancy he posted a video on his FB of us telling the big kids they’ll have another sibling. I remember that most of the people who ended up commenting were my cousins and aunts and uncles. My grandma found out through my dad (my family is such a grapevine) but I need to call her since we’re long overdue for a phone call. When we found out we’re having another boy, I just texted some of my friends that I don’t see often. Can’t even remember if we posted something on FB when [name_m]Zach[/name_m] was born, but I blogged about it and that gets shared to G plus.
I ‘announced’ our pregnancy on FB when I was halfway through, just after our 20-week scan. So of course most people that I actually see or communicate with regularly already knew. I just found it a lot more fun to tell people in person. I let my immediate family in [name_f]England[/name_f] know via telephone, and then allowed my mother to spread the news there. I write letters to my close friends who live in [name_f]England[/name_f] fairly regularly so I just included the news in my letters to them.
So the announcement was really more for people that I don’t speak to all that often, but I don’t have people on FB if I don’t feel comfortable sharing things with them. Anyway, it’s not like it’s actually private information, knowing whether someone has children or not. I didn’t feel like I wanted to post a picture of my uterus so I used a picture of a babygro and a baby book placed on a quilt my aunt made for us.
I also posted one ‘bump picture’ when I turned 8 months, but I created a custom list for that and only shared it with close friends and family members, because I know that many people couldn’t care less what my belly looks like. I plan to do the same thing with baby pics after the birth - I know there are a lot of people who will be interested and want to see, but there are also people who won’t care and that’s OK. I’m also going to try and keep some sort of limit on it - an especially nice photo every now and then, not like a daily/weekly update on what my baby looks like (I’ll maybe do one of those for my parents and brother, by email, but I know they’ll be interested).
I’m a fairly sparse poster on social media with everything, though. It depends how you and your social circle use it.
I think Facebook is a nice to announce news that people otherwise wouldn’t be able to know of, unless of course you don’t want them knowing. Its entirely your choice. I probably wouldn’t announce straight away, maybe when I find out the gender I would then post a scan revealing “our little baby girl/boy…” or something along those lines.
I do enjoy seeing pregnancy announcements from people I wouldn’t know about otherwise.
I pondered this for a while… I use social media sparingly, certainly not everyday- not even weekly.
I call FB brag book and really, the oversharing I find odd and insincere. I would never tell my friends that, but I do.
( my best friend’s parents, apparently, were worried about my marriage because I did not brag about him on Facebook…of course I find this comical. In honesty, he’s so good to me, that I intentionally don’t post our nights out or any of his gifts to me. Occasionally, I’ll share if we’re at a concert or what not, but for the most part, no. I just don’t want my friends, who are still looking for the ‘one’ to be discouraged or jealous.)
So I guess posting is somewhat expected. Idk that’s weird to think that.
I think for this reason I will post a “baby b expected fall of 2017” sort of post. But not till 20 plus weeks and only after my shower invites/ announcements go out in the mail.
There will be no constant belly pics or craving updates. [name_m]Just[/name_m] “it’s a girl/ boy” and “moms doing fine” on arrival.
The name I want to announce in snail-mail birth announcements, understanding that some will arrive up to a week later.
Then since I’m all about the name:) my token post will be a name& first photoshoot announcement.
Lol… All of this might change, just because things change but mostly this is what I want.
To advertisers, pregnant women are worth way more than the average person. Subscribe to read | Financial Times
Although this irked me and I wanted to try to hid my pregnancies on social media I found it too convenient to share tidbits with all my friends at once (I live on a different continent than most of them) so I got over it and used FB and Instagram to share our news. We only posted after we had told our families and we were at about 12 weeks.
Yup, every family is different. We waited until the second trimester mark with my DD. And after that we only posted the gender reveal and then an announcement when she was born. Oh, and a few maternity shots. It’s a great way to spread news widely. That being said, I make a point of culling down my friend list every few months. I take off anyone whom I would avoid saying ‘hi’ to if I ran into them on the street. The only people left are those that will likely have heard prior to the fb announcement (through text or phone call) and extended family.
That being said, I get a huge kick out of people who hide their pregnancy from facebook! [name_m]Just[/name_m] one day you log in and see that person has had a [name_u]BABY[/name_u]! Wow. What restraint. Super fun. If you were closer to them, you would already know, so I understand their thinking.
As someone who has been through infertility struggles, I have to say, I still enjoyed seeing sonograms. And sometimes it helped to see them on facebook instead of hearing in person, so I had a chance to gather any stinging feelings. When I was over a year and 2 losses into our journey, I found out my BFF was pregnant via email (on the second try) and I had to step away and have a little cry. Then I gathered up some perspective and was the most supportive BFF I could be.
I did not announce my first pregnancy on FB, but I did announce her birth. I think I will probably do the same this time around. First, the cutesy pregnancy announcement is just not my style (although I love seeing them). Second, I had a FB friend announce her pregnancy on FB and post lots of maternity and baby shower pics. I was waiting for the birth announcement, and was horrified when she announced the birth and death of her stillborn son. I feel like she was forced to make a public statement about her stillbirth because everyone was posting “where’s your baby” posts. I couldn’t face being in that kind of situation.
When I announced my daughter’s birth on FB, only one person told me she didn’t know I was pregnant. I deleted her from my friends list pretty much right after that…personally, I dont really want to be FB friends with anyone who’s that far removed from my life.
That being said, my stepsister (who lives across the globe and I’ve only met twice), didn’t know until my mother posted a picture of me at my baby shower. I do only speak to her a few times a year, and just kind of assumed my parents would have told her. But I did feel kind of bad that that’s how she found out.
We posted an announcement on Facebook since DH and I have a descent amount of extended family and friends who do not live close so we felt it was right for us. I think it is definitely a lot more common these days to share on social media but it also depends on the person/couple. Some people are super private and do not share anything while others post and are not as private. Not only baby announcements are being announced but engagements and so forth. I think you or lets say a couple should do what is right for them. There is no right or wrong in wanting to or not. I think its based off preference. My girlfriend shared her pregnancy announcement on Instagram but chose not to on Facebook since her Instagram is a little more controlled with who can see her photos. But it is definitely very common now I would say.
I’m yet to have kids but I know I’ll definitely announce it on FB when I get pregnant in the future. I would tell my family and friends first and then most likely post a 20 week one. I only have 100 friends and they’re only people I am comfortable sharing private stuff with. This may change as I still have time but I doubt it!
When my sister fell pregnant she strictly told her family to not post anything on social media and so we respected her wishes and they all found out when my nephew was born and a picture of him, his full name, birthday, time and weight were posted. She’s more open about posting stuff now but I guess she didn’t want to jinx anything and wanted to keep it private until his birth. I recently saw a pregnancy announcement on FB and she was only a few months along, but I know she has family/friends spread all over the country whereas my sister had all her family/friends in one town.
It’s totally up to the person/couple and whether they’re comfortable with it being on the internet.