I once heard a woman say that no one should give their child a name that didn’t match his/her ethnic background and the origin of their surname.
Obviously, there are some fundamental issues with this stance. Take my future children, for example: they will have a Japanese surname, but will only be 1/8 Japanese. My husband only looks vaguely influenced by this part of his ancestry, and the chances of our children looking even slightly [name]Asian[/name] are remote at best. But they should have Japanese first names? Of course, this breaks the other rule, of matching their ethnic background… which will be 7/8 European.
I’m not giving her argument any credence here, but it did get me thinking. I’m open to Greek, Hebrew and Latin names (among others) even though my husband and I have none of any of those ethnicities/cultures in my genetic makeup (to my knowledge, of course). However I wouldn’t consider names that are easily identifiable as Chinese, African, [name]Indian[/name] or Mid-Eastern, not because I don’t like the association but because I feel I couldn’t justify it. I’d feel like a “poser.” I don’t even feel like we could pull off/justify Japanese names, come to think of it. And yet Hebrew names are fair game in my mind?
What do you think? Where should the line be drawn, or should it? Should I feel free to bestow Akwete on a mostly-caucasian girl?
My daughter is a white kid but she is a mix of Italian, Russian, Catholic, Jewish, ect. I am Italian American and you would probably guess I was Irish by my name & features. My husband could easily be Israeli and even has family members with [name]Asian[/name] features. I think any name that’s easily pronounced & recognized (to whatever degree) is fair game.
I personally wouldn’t pick a name that could be considered offensive. Anything significant to another religion or culture that I hold no claim to. Anything associated with any marginalized group of people.
Aside from that anything goes. My daughter’s name is popular in Germany, it’s [name]Leonie[/name]. We have no [name]German[/name] heritage.
I think everyone in this generation is mixed to some degree & the world is more international now. [name]Even[/name] though my daughter doesn’t have a top 1000 name she probably won’t have the most distinct name in her class once she’s older. Name your children whatever you love and identify with.
I think it’s easier for people to get away with using Western names for their kids rather than choosing ethnic names. A Chinese kid with the name [name]Clarissa[/name] would be perfectly normal while a white kid with the first name [name]Mei[/name]-[name]Lin[/name] would raise a few eyebrows.
I would actually feel kind of uncomfortable using a name that was very strongly associated with the ethnicity of my last name. People would assume that I’m a lot more knowledgeable about that culture than I actually am. I don’t really know anything about the countries my great-grandparents came from and I don’t consider myself to be that ethnicity. I’m just American, and my ancestors happened to come from somewhere else. I’m not Italian because some of my great-grandparents were, and I wouldn’t want to give the impression that I know tons about the language and culture because I don’t. If I used a name that was very heavily associated with a culture I don’t have ancestry in, the same thing might happen- people may assume I know a lot more about that culture than I do, and I don’t want to seem ignorant.
My name, [name]Tara[/name], is [name]Indian[/name] (it’s also Irish but I don’t count it because it’s anglicized). The name is so mainstream and used in so many cultures that it doesn’t scream [name]Indian[/name]. Now if I’d been named Tarakesh or [name]Teamhair[/name] (the origin Irish form) then that would be weird as I am neither Irish nor [name]Indian[/name]
As for surnames, they can impact my fn choice. My surname is a common word in English so my parents didn’t have to worry about matching origins. The combo of my fn & ln don’t scream any ethnicity or culture. If I have kids with my current bf then they’ll have Spanish last names. I feel that some of my favorites sound odd with a Spanish surname, so I have a separate list of names that I like with a Spanish last name. If I have kids with a guy with a Chinese or French or [name]Indian[/name] or… surname, then I’ll choose names that I feel work with those surnames. They don’t have to have the same origin, they just need to sound good to my ears.
I am French, Irish and Native American and my name is Greek - [name]Cynthia[/name]. Shrug Never been an issue especially since [name]Cynthia[/name] is so common. That being said, I would never give my child a Japanese name or an [name]Indian[/name] name because their cultures are so vastly different than mine, and I have no association with it at all. Unless the name became mainstream and commonly accepted on people of different culture/ethnic backgrounds. Our surname is French, and I would never just stick to french names as first names.
I struggled with this same situation when naming my son. I am Italian-Swedish and my husband is Romanian. I grew up in [name]America[/name] where my husband grew up in Romania and his family does not speak English. I really wanted to name my son [name]Theodore[/name] but the “th” sound presented pronunciation problems. We ended up naming our son [name]Bram[/name] [name]Alexander[/name]. [name]Alexandru[/name] is a common boys name in Romania and [name]Bram[/name] was a name that we both loved. To my in-laws, my son is primarily called [name]Alexandru[/name]. It was a compromise between our taste and keeping with our son’s cultural heritage. Ultimately, you should pick a name you are comfortable with.
I think that if you love a certain name but it has no connection to your ethnic/cultural background, it is still ok to use it. [name]Bram[/name] is a really popular name in Denmark, and we have no Danish heritage. Many names have become so westernized now that the cultural association with the name doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
That’s nonsense what that lady said. Most Americans are so much mutt they don’t even know where their surname originated from. Total nonsense. Name your child the name you love and/or has meaning to you. My older daughter’s name (Karin “kuh-RIN”) is Swedish or something like that. My second daughter’s name Delaney is a surname of I don’t know what origin though my guess would be Irish. Both my husband and mine families are all American mutts (or you could say the epitome of America’s melting pot if you take some silly issue with the use of the word mutt).
In my opinion, as long as your child has Japanese ethnicity (enough for it to be noticeable in the family tree, not like some 100s of years ago) it’s fine to give him/her a Japanese name. I would say you’re “lucky” in that you’re in a great position from the ethnic name point of view, you could pick either a European or Japanese name and it would work because your child will really be from these cultures.
I know someone whose first name is [name]Sean[/name] and he has a very Russian surname. I still find it really unusual but to me it works because his ethnicity is actually Irish and Russian. Not sure how much he knows about the cultures and I don’t think he speaks fluent Russian or Gaelic.
Now that I think about it, most people I know have names of European origin regardless of ethnicity. My name is [name]Lauren[/name] and my ethnicity is 100% Chinese. No one’s ever found that strange. My Chinese name is on my birth certificate as a second middle and the only ones who ever call me that are my parents and grandparents sometimes; my friends, teachers, etc. don’t even know it.
Of course it’s nonsense – for reasons both obvious and not so. It’s just an interesting opinion that got me thinking more about not-so-nonsensical concepts, as I described in the original post.
I don’t think it’s as simple as “name your child the name you love,” as I and other posters have pointed out, there actually ARE some choices that could be argued as inappropriate or offensive. I do indeed think that I, as a Caucasian American, should not feel obliged to use a very identifiably ethnic name without justification (naming in honor of someone, for example). It’s at the very least worth discussing and further understanding one’s own emotions and limits in this area.
I think the main consideration is how common the name is in your area.
No matter what ethnicity you are if you live in the US and your name is [name]Mike[/name] or [name]Sarah[/name] people aren’t going to be surprised.
However if the name is very uncommon for your area you’ll probably raise eyebrows if you don’t seem to “fit” it. If your name is [name]Julio[/name] and you look Scandinavian people will probably ask you about it. If your name is [name]Aphrodite[/name] and you look Chinese there will probably be questions.
It gets tough on names like…[name]Fiona[/name]. It’s somewhat common but not regular. It’s connected to [name]Ireland[/name] but not unused outside that country. So if your kid won’t have red hair and green eyes can you still use it? Sure. [name]Will[/name] people ask about it? Maybe, maybe not. Is it unusable because of the cultural connection. No, but you just have to be sure that it doesn’t bug you if people ask if you have any Irish blood once in a blue moon.
I personally wouldn’t use an extremely ethnic sounding name like [name]Tatiana[/name] or [name]Yanick[/name] or [name]Saskia[/name] or [name]Keiko[/name] or [name]Julio[/name], etc. There are so many lovely names that wouldn’t get raised eyebrows and I feel no connection to those type of names. I’m not sure what I would do if I absolutely adored a name and yet it was completely unconnected to my heritage–case by case basis I suppose.
Obviously names like Winner and Loser or [name]Precious[/name] should never be given to a poor child but that is so obvious it really shouldn’t even need to be stated. Otherwise name your child the name you love or has meaning to you.
I honestly think that it depends on the name. Some names from other countries have become familiar and Westernized (e.g. [name]Cynthia[/name] (since it was mentioned earlier) or [name]Isabella[/name], or [name]Colette[/name], etc.) while some are still unknown to most of us. If you (not anyone particular, just using “you” a the same as “one”) pick a name of another ethnicity, however, I strongly believe that you make sure that you know as much about the name as you can, as it might have a religious of cultural significance in its country of origin, or even be a name for the opposite gender! (some names from other countries sound “feminine” or “masculine” to us but are really are for the opposite gender, e.g. [name]Shiva[/name] (also has religious significance) or [name]Bryn[/name], which are both boys’ names). I think it’s kind of ignorant to pick a name that’s not Anglo and not know it’s origin or meaning. But as long as you do your homework and love the name, I say go for it! [name]Even[/name] if eyebrows are raised at first, soon people won’t think of your child as anything else but their (ethnic) name. (I’m half spanish, half polish, and I think Japanese names are beautiful :))
This is part of what’s interesting to me. A Chinese woman with a very western first name flies easily in the west, so I wonder if a Caucasian woman in [name]China[/name] could wear a Chinese name? Could a Filipino family in [name]Africa[/name] pull off giving their kids Swahili names? Honestly my guess is that the answer, in both cases, would be no – or at least not an unqualified yes.
It’s easy to just say that western names are more “mainstream” here and therefore fair game for all, but I do think that that’s an oversimplification.
Re: being “lucky” that we could use Japanese names, my husband actually argues that we shouldn’t BECAUSE of our Japanese surname. A child named [name]Hideki[/name] Matsumoto (not our last name) will be assumed to be Japanese, for better or worse. Our children will look Caucasian, most likely, so it may be jarring for people to be presented with a white kid who has an identifiably [name]Asian[/name] name. This has actually already happened to me since taking his name, as I have a south-[name]Asian[/name] first name and now a Japanese last, but don’t look even the faintest bit [name]Asian[/name].
So his argument is that “mutts” with ethnic surnames should [name]FAVOR[/name] westernized names to balance out their presentation.
This is what happens when two people with marketing backgrounds start having kids, I suppose!
To each his own, I suppose. That is too over-simplified for my own tastes (as I gravitate toward obscure, and often very ethnic, ancient-sounding names that could be questionable to use), but it likely works for some.
Not trying to be that guy, but I honestly think that white people should generally stick to non-“ethnic” names if they have zero connection to that culture/ethnicity. Sorry, but it’s tacky and borderline offensive.
Western names are used on POC all the time, and that’s fine with me. It’s a little tricky sometimes, but I’m visibly mestizo and I have a “white” name and no one looks at me funny. My daughter is half Korean and has a “white” name too. But if my blonde son were named [name]Jos[/name]é, people would be confused and they’d be justified. It’s complicated, you know? But I’m forever rolling my eyes at white kids with “ethnic” names whose parents think they’re being exotic and cultured.
Newyorkdads, your opinion is totally justified, and probably gets at why my subconscious steers me away from ethnic names… Despite how much I may love them. Lately I’ve been trying to figure out where the line is! I know a Swahili name would be weird, but what about an obscure Hebrew name? Sanskrit? Egyptian? It’s tough. I suppose this is always going to be one of those things where if I have reservations about a name, it’s likely in the “going too far” category. [name]Case[/name]-by-case basis.
The Starbucks test may come in handy here, as well.
I hope you don’t think I’m jumping up and down on you when I ask, what is the difference in your mind between Middle-Eastern and Hebrew? There’s a lot of crossover there.
Middle-Eastern would refer to a wide swath of countries/regions and languages, both current and ancient. Hebrew refers to a specific language.
The reason I would lump my Arabic, Sumerian and even Kyrgyz (stretching the definition of Middle [name]East[/name] here) names together is that I’d think that for the sake of this particular argument, my perceived “access” to these names would be pretty similar. The line may be drawn differently for Hebrew names.
Of course, this greatly depends on one’s region. I live in a heavily Jewish part of the country, and an identifiably Hebrew name would go over well here as most would just assume (without asking) that I have a Hebrew background to some degree. On the other hand, it’s very unlikely given my region and ethnic appearance that I could get away with using an identifiably Arabic name without raised eyebrows.
I just wondered because I’m very fond of a number of Hebrew names, like [name]Aliyah[/name], [name]Talia[/name], [name]Kelilah[/name], [name]Ketzia[/name], and [name]Zakia[/name]… and [name]Aaliyah[/name], Zakiya, etc. sort of cross back and forth a lot, and my husband thinks they would have issues with people thinking they were Arabic names.