Trying to cut a long story short. My husband and I couldn’t agree on a name for our second daughter. My hubby wanted [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] and I wanted [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]. I had PND so I couldn’t make a decision. In the end my first daughter got the decision. She loved [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] so that’s what we went with. [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is her middle name. I am over the PND now but I still love [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and wish we had named her that. It’s too late to change it and my first daughter would be so upset if we did as she loves it.
I have been thinking about the idea of calling her [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] myself but everyone else calling her [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]. Does anyone know someone called their first name by one parent but their middle by the other? I’d feel better about doing this if I knew there are others who have been in this situation. If not, I’m worried people may think that I’m mad. Please be kind with your responses as this is quite a sensitive topic for me at the moment.
I can’t think of anyone specific off the top of my head, but it wouldn’t surprise me if I came across this type of situation. I’ve heard of mother’s calling their children by their middles, but everyone else calls them by their first.
I know a [name_f]Martha[/name_f] [name_f]Cornelia[/name_f] who goes by [name_f]Martha[/name_f] at home and [name_f]Cornelia[/name_f] by friends
I also knew a girl who presented herself with many names, and she said “you can choose what to call me, I go by all my names” and I know there are others like this.
I think it could work, but you risk that just one name will be used. Maybe she even choose herself which she prefer
I almost forgot. My cousin has two first names, I can’t say them because they’re very rare names, but he goes by both equally much, but he has told me he prefer one more than the other
Yes actually. My brother has two first names. He goes by both equally, but our parents calls him by different names. I’m not sure how well it would work , but there have never been any problems with it when it comes to my brother
Actually my partner and I have had this exact discussion. He wants the name [name_f]Vi[/name_f] (V-eye) so badly but I couldn’t find any version of it I liked so we talked about using it as a middle. He would call her by [name_f]Vi[/name_f], but everyone else would call her by her first (unless she decides on a name she wants everyone to use when). We’re not sold on it yet, but for yourself I think if you worked into it slowly, it could work.
Eg. start off by calling her [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and making sure she knows that’s her name before branching into using [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] singularly
Both are beautiful names and anything you decide on will be ok with a little bit of work!
I do actually. My younger brother-in-law has literally a whole laundry list of names (7 or 8, I think, and that doesn’t include surnames!). His mom is the only one who calls him by his legal first name or a nickname for it. Everyone else calls him by one of his middle names (the same one for everyone). It doesn’t really bother him. I found it odd when I first started dating my husband, but I don’t even blink at it anymore. That’s just how it is. My [name_m]BIL[/name_m] knows all of his names and doesn’t get confused. Relatives and friends all know who each other is referring to, when discussing him, so there is no confusion there.
While I personally have never seen this, I can tell you that from an outside perspective, it doesn’t seem too out there at all. I wouldn’t bat an eye at somebody being called two different names and it would give you a special connection with her. Middle names don’t get used enough and I think it could also be a great opportunity to make the most out of her name.
Not personally but I heard a story about a girl who decided her first day of kindergarten to be called by her middle name instead of her first name so her family calls her by her first name but everyone else calls her by her middle name so i wouldn’t say its too outlandish for you to use [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] instead of [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]
I know a guy who introduces himself as [name_m]Carlos[/name_m] but his mother calls him [name_m]Patrick[/name_m]. The only time it got confusing was when he was sick and I tried to visit him in the hospital. I got turned away because apparently neither [name_m]Carlos[/name_m] nor [name_m]Patrick[/name_m] are his actual given name. It isn’t confusing for him, though- he knows who he is.
Anyway, I think it is common enough for people to go by more than one name, especially within their family. All of my siblings have nicknames that my dad uses and my mom doesn’t. I’ve also known plenty of people who use one name at home and a different name at school or work. I wouldn’t worry about it. And if you call her two different names, then she can choose which she’d prefer to use once she’s in school.
I think it’s fine to call her [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]. I would not let my child help in naming my other child! They can grow up and name their own kid!
I don’t find it odd at all. Many people go by their middle name primarily or have different nicknames, etc. I think it’s a sweet way to actually use a middle!
One of my closest friends has a Thai name and an English name, and he uses both. Normally most people use his English name, but we all know he Thai name and use it occasionally. His dad always calls him his English name, and his mum sways uses his Thai name.
I also have a friend who mostly used his English middle name, but who was always called by his Turkish first name at home, especially by his mum.
So I’ve definitely seen it before, but normally when the names are in different languages.
Thanks very much all for taking the time to reply! I know it’s unusual to some but good to hear of others in similar situations.
@lesliemarion I hear your comment about not letting your child name another one and believe me both my hubbie and I thought exactly that when some of our friends did the same time but honestly when we were in a stuck situation with being unable to agree it seemed the only solution plus I had PND which really affected me.
If others have similar experiences please continue to share.
This is what makes most sense to me. I think her name would have to be [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f], but [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] or [name_f]Liv[/name_f] could be a sort of family nickname. That’s the case for the my friend [name_f]Amanda[/name_f], who is definitely [name_f]Amanda[/name_f], but her dad sometimes calls her by her middle name ([name_f]Beth[/name_f]).
Yeah I agree I don’t think it’s weird! I have two first names and while most people call me [name_f]Sofia[/name_f] (my second name) my mom occasionally calls me by my first name (which is her second name lol). So I’m sure it will be fine
My sisters middle name is [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and my mom calls her [name_f]Rose[/name_f]/ [name_f]Rosie[/name_f] as nn all the time.
My name is not technically a double barrel name, but I get called by both my first and middle together almost exclusively.
My father likes to say “I gave you those names because that’s what I wanted to call you”. You gave her both names, you can definitely use them both, either together or separately.
I don’t personally know of anyone, but if you’ve ever heard of the show “Married At First Sight” - [name_u]Jamie[/name_u] and [name_m]Doug[/name_m] from the 1st season have a daughter called [name_u]Henley[/name_u] [name_f]Grace[/name_f], and [name_u]Jamie[/name_u] pretty exclusively calls her [name_f]Gracie[/name_f]. She’s said in the past that [name_u]Henley[/name_u] was [name_m]Doug[/name_m]'s choice and very important to him, while she wanted [name_f]Grace[/name_f]. They agreed to [name_u]Henley[/name_u] [name_f]Grace[/name_f] and I think [name_m]Doug[/name_m] calls her both names but [name_u]Jamie[/name_u] uses [name_f]Grace[/name_f] or [name_f]Gracie[/name_f] most times - at least on social media. I say use [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]; it’s a fantastic name! It’ll be special for her for her mother to call her something a little different than everyone else.
Yes, I do know someone like that. A childhood friend was in almost the exact same situation. (Although her father left when she was little, so she mostly was called my her middle at home and the firstname was used only at school).
Another one I don’t know personally, but on another naming forum there’s a mother who calls her child by both names equally, and so does the rest of the family. It wasn’t a mom vs dad situation though, but one was the GP name that felt right in the moment and one the agreed-upon safe alternative.
