Are you a name satisficer or maximizer?

General Name Discussion
1

Maximizers are people who “want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice.”

Satisficers are people “who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high; but as soon as they find the car, the hotel, or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied.” (Are You a Satisficer or a Maximizer? | Gretchen Rubin)

I think in life, most people are a mixture of the two, but what are you in naming? I think we all know people who just hear a name they love, decide it’s the ONE for their kid, and never look back to contemplate whether it really was the best choice in the end. And on the other side, many of us can simply agonize over our choices repeatedly.

I have come to realize I am definitely a maximizer when it comes to names, but it turns out that maximizers are rarely happier with their decisions in the long run… “Maximizers rely heavily on external sources for evaluation. Rather than asking themselves if they enjoy their choice, they are more likely to evaluate their choices based on its reputation, social status, and other external cues. […] A satisficer is less likely to experience regret even if a better option presents itself after a decision has already been made. Compared to satisficers, maximizing individuals are more likely to experience lower levels of happiness, [more] regret, and [lower] self-esteem.”
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So I’m trying to convince myself to take on more of the qualities of a satisficer when it comes to this kind of decision. [name_m]How[/name_m] about you?

And for those of you who have yet to name actual kids, where do you fall? [name_m]How[/name_m] satisfied do you feel about your long list of potentials for future children if you want them someday? And how about your sig?

2

I am most definitely a maximizer, though I have yet to name an actual child yet. I quite frequently go back and forth on the names that make up my list and my list changes a lot. Currently, my signature is comprised of names I’m just thinking about, but not necessarily strongly considering yet. That doesn’t mean they won’t make the long or short list eventually. Lately, I’ve been trying hard to focus on what I like about the names we have or how I feel about them (and how DH thinks/feels) rather than what others say, think, or feel about them, as I find I will often take into consideration other’s feeling above my own.

3

A maximizer, definitely! I think you’ll find that most people on here are, at least when it comes to naming. After all, what is NB for if not to agonise over the naming process, constantly evaluating, getting feedback and exploring more options even when you’ve already got a shortlist as long as your arm!

I wish I were more of a satisficer too, in life as well as naming. It took me about 3 days to sort my car insurance, because I used about 8 different price comparison sites to make sure I was getting the absolute best deal. And at uni, my friends and DH could bang out a 3000 word essay in hours, whereas it took me days because I had to read and reread, edit and add, etc. etc. until it felt exactly right. It was exhausting! Sadly, I think you’re probably naturally one way or the other - nothing much to be done about it!

4

I’m more of a satisficer, I would say. Once a combo clicks for me, that’s pretty much it. My taste in names since joining this site in 2015 has changed a little— I’ve added a few new names to my long list since then and taken some off, but I have a handful of steady favourites I’ve liked for years now. The two combos I have in my signature are my if-I-had-a-baby-tomorrow names, and if the decision were completely up to me, I would be perfectly content with using them as they are.

That’s not to say I don’t sometimes worry about or question my combos. I’ve definitely had my “Am I dooming [name_u]Asa[/name_u] to a life of constantly having his name pronounced wrong by strangers?” and “[name_m]How[/name_m] annoying will it be for [name_f]Scarlet[/name_f] to explain her name is spelled with one T and not two?” type moments. In the long run though I think my love for the names and their significance outweighs the possible cons. Maybe if I ever have the opportunity to name a real child the panic alarms will start going off, but for now, as the saying goes, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

(I love the nickname [name_f]Kiki[/name_f] for [name_f]Chrysanthemum[/name_f], by the way! I’m happy to see [name_f]Chrysanthemum[/name_f] back in your signature as well!)

5

I’m pretty sure I’m the Satisficer, in naming as in most things (like shopping clothes, thank god. That must take forever as an maximizer).
I’m quite fast in deciding if I like/would use a name. Deciding on [name_f]Rebekka[/name_f], for example, happened spontanously 4 years ago when I was naming a doll, and it’s been the name ever since. [name_f]Zippora[/name_f] has, in varying spellings, been on my list since 2011.

it’s actually a bit boring. Being a name nerd, of course I like discovering new gems, but it can feel a bit dull knowing my favourites aren’t going to change anyway.

6

I think there’s a difference between boys and girls for me. I’ve always felt almost like there are fewer options out there for boys, and I’ve already found names I absolutely love and very little compares. I’m probably more satisficer with boys. Of course I haven’t stopped looking for new boys names, but I’m super sure of my choices, plus back ups I adore. I rarely find new boys names I really like or love.

Whereas girls I’m a lot more likely to feel unsure since there are so many options, and I’m always falling in and out of love with them and finding new names. I’m always on the look out for other options that might be more perfect and I just haven’t come across yet. Like most other things, I think I’m a maximizer when it comes to girls. Although that being said, my favourite girls’ name has been the same for 3+ years (with a blip in the middle) but after that it’s a bit of a mess. Recently I’ve just thought about using a completely different set of girls’ names haha.

8

I think I’m more of a satisficer (I learnt a new word today!). Although I definitely consider more than one option, I don’t think there is one perfect name out there - there are lots that could work and lots that I would be happy with. I don’t worry that I could have ‘done better’ on naming my daughter at all, even though there are other girls names that I love. We waited until she was 3 weeks old to name her and it just sort of gradually settled in a way that felt very natural.

On the other hand, my criteria are pretty complicated which probably helps in that sense. It narrows it down a lot. More choices make it harder to choose. I think multilingual naming is good for managing that because it’s restrictive but it also provides a lot of structure.

9

I think I’m a satisficer who acts like a maximizer.

I’m that person who finds what I want and I know it, but I’ll go and look at all the other options anyway before coming back to the original thing. This is true in clothes, names, bikes… etc. I do have to agree with @myosotis that there’s a difference between boys and girls names, though I’m the opposite in that with girls names I usually find what I love very quickly and stick with it, whereas with boys names I prefer to shop around - although that’s mostly because I find it hard to get a name I truly adore in the same way I do with girls.

10

I’m definitely a maximizer, however, my S/O is a satisficer, it would seem!

I like a LOT of names - a lot more than most name nerds tend to. I feel like I just tend to see beauty in names that others don’t maybe?

We don’t have children yet, but I’m very much the “I need to find the BEST possible name!!!” but nothing ever seems to compare to the visual I have in my head. [name_f]Stephanie[/name_f] and [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] both seemed close, however, the more we considered them, the less perfect they seemed. I do still adore both, but, I think at the end of the day, nothing wows me. I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] [name_f]Desiree[/name_f], [name_f]Destinee[/name_f]/[name_f]Destiney[/name_f], [name_f]Britney[/name_f] and [name_u]Kelly[/name_u], but S/O doesn’t, so that makes things a bit hard too, but, I feel like even if he DID like them, I still wouldn’t be 100% happy with them.

I always over-analyze my choices and favourites - S/O adores [name_f]Stephanie[/name_f], and so do I, it’s been a favourite of mine since I was a little girl, but, whenever I ask others (because I don’t trust my own judgement enough to just accept that I like it), I get a few comments - some like it a lot, others find it dated but alright, and then some (like my mother) loathe the idea of meeting a baby [name_f]Stephanie[/name_f] because it was the name of every other girl in their class, or their friends’ little sisters, or whatever.

When I get told that people don’t like it, I focus on that more than the positive. It stands out more to me, I guess. I know I probably shouldn’t ask for opinions because I like it, but, I still do, because I feel that I NEED validation from everyone that it’s the best choice.

I chart popularity (just to see how ‘dated’ or ‘trendy’ it is), I check into meanings (hence [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u]'s disappearance), I ask Nameberry - and that’s only if I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] it or if S/O has agreed to it, LOL. It’s like I’m always second guessing myself.

My maximizer personality is definitely the reason why I can’t seem to settle on one signature, one style or any particular name. It’s why everything is constantly changing.

When we have a baby, I want to have the PERFECT name already chosen - the perfect name that just doesn’t seem to exist LOL.

S/O however has always said that he wants to go into the delivery room with a shortlist, and when we find the perfect name, we’ll know it, and that’ll be that. I’m the complete opposite so I don’t know how well that will work out for the two of us, haha.

11

In life, I’m generally a satisficer. Once I make a decision, I rarely question it. I thought I was that way with names until I actually became pregnant and started second-guessing everything. I think it’s the hormones haha

12

I’m a satisficer with a bit of maximizer thrown in there.

I know what I like, and I usually know it quickly.
However, to me, naming is not only about finding the perfect name for me to love but finding the perfect name for my child to bear (when the day comes).

[I suppose it’s a bit like booking a hotel for a group that includes you but you don’t know everyone else’s style. You try to find something that you feel most of the people will love or, at the very least be satisfied with, while also going for something you will enjoy.]

So I do ask others for their opinions. Not only does that truly reveal how I feel about the name (do I defend it in my head or do I actually agree with the critics?) but it also makes me aware of problems that my child might encounter with the name.
If, after considering these problems, I feel like there’s another, better name out there, I will keep on looking.

Basically: I quickly find the perfect name, however, I’m not satisfied with a name if only I am satisfied, others have to approve, too. Negative personal opinions won’t sway me of course but reasonable critique will.

13

I think I’m a mixture of the two. My list, signature, & my absolute favorites change often but there are names I have on my list that I’m 100% content with, have had on my list for years, and would be happy to name a child. They may not be my absolute favorites all the time but they are always on my list. If I were pregnant those would be the names I would go to first and would be top contenders. My list is always growing and my style evolves over time but I know what I like and don’t really question myself (that’s why you don’t see me asking questions often). Overall, I think I lean toward being a maximizer but have satisficer tendencies once I find a name I love 110%.

14

Maximizer here with a satisficer partner. I hate how we found a name I don’t fully like but fits the bare minimum criteria and he’s like "we got it, it’s beautiful and perfect"and he MEANS IT. I don’t get it.

I can’t use any of the names in my list (which I chose very carefully and lovingly) but if I could use any of those I’d still be second-guessing myself. It’s a curse.

15

I’m a bit of both, I am constantly looking for options and altering and changing parts of names but especially my top 4 first names stay the same for a while. Middle names are a nightmare, I change them all over the shop and can almost never find one I love that sticks for longer than a few months. In most of my life, I’m a maximizer for things like houses but if I’m just wanting a pair of flats, I’ll settle pretty easily.

16

I would say I’m probably a satisficer. I do sometimes second-guess myself, but it’s more like I think several options are equally good and it can be tough to decide between them, rather than wanting to keep looking for a name that is better or more perfect.

17

I’m definitely, 100% a Satisficer in almost everything I do. I feel like being a Satisficer stresses me out so much already, I can’t imagine being a maximizer. When I find a combo that flows well and has some sort of significance, it’s pretty much set until I get tired of it and find something new. The only name that changes with is [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], which is just so easy to find a middle name for it makes it so hard because I’m choosing from literally dozens of possible middle names rather than like 5, which is the case with other names.

The only way I would be a maximizer is when I go shopping for clothes. I like to look around the whole store before I decide what my standards are look and price-wise. I hate trying on clothes though so I usually just look at things so it doesn’t take long. This isn’t the case with things like jeans though which don’t take me long to pick out. I know my size, I know my style, so it’s quick. Shirts, skirts, or dresses are a different story. Shoes are the same as jeans/pants since I usually know exactly what I want that day (boots, sandals, Converse, etc). I don’t like to stress myself out with unnecessary decision making, so if I go with the first thing that I love, it usually works out.

18

I’m primarily a satisficer in all aspects of life, but I lean towards a maximizer when it comes to names for girls. I have one combo for boys that has been the one since I saw it and it clicked. It’s also pretty easy for me to love boy names and negativity doesn’t tend to impact the ones I love.

I don’t know if it’s because I feel like girl names are more prone to judgment or being female means I could run across more negative associations, but girl names are tough. I’ll love a combo for awhile and then it sort of loses its appeal to me or I hear negative opinions on the name and question whether I like it enough. I’d definitely be a maximizer if I was naming a daughter on my own. If I had a SO that really wanted a girl name that I liked but didn’t love I’d probably let him use it since I don’t know if there will ever be a girl name that stands the test of time for me (maybe weird for a name nerd to say).

19

I think that, in terms of names, I’m a maximizer. My list is constantly under construction. However, I reckon that I’m more of a satisficer in real life. I guess it’s because I genuinely enjoy finding new names and booting out ones that I’ve lost interest in. I haven’t yet named a real child, but I think that I will certainly be agonizing over their name. It also depends on my future SO’s influence.

20

When it comes to my long list, I’m a satisficer. As long as they all “click” and I love how they sound, that’s good enough. When it comes to few that I’ll likely to actually use though, I’m more of a maximiser. They’re all very significant to me, have meaning and imagery that I love, multiple nickname possibilities, etc etc. I guess this is why my short list is very solid, even though my long list is always growing.

21

Hmmm, maximiser.
My top names (Aurora, Charlotte, Freya, Beatrice) constantly are changing middles, although some top names (Seraphina, Cecily, Rosalie/Rosalyn/Rosamund, Dorothea, Cressida) are constant, relatively… Actually middle for Cecily is up in the air, although I didn’t find anything better (when it comes to finding mythological, familiar middle).
My top boys are quite safe, OTOH.

I often have to “settle” for certain combos, but since I have so much names on my top list, I kind of hope my future SO will give me free hands in naming children, but will helpful and supportive suggestions.