Baby Berries April/May/June 2024

Parentberries
301

@Kibby that doesn’t sound fun! I have had some dizzy moments like that but I think it is a pretty clear combination of blood sugar and stress/anxiety (it essentially only happens at work). I have had a few dizzy moments in the last few weeks now, but I think that is just coming with the pregnancy territory.

We got our results back and baby is very low risk for Down’s syndrome, Trisomy 18, or a neural tube defect! We didn’t do the NIPT, we did a more limited blood test but this is still reassuring. We also did the NT scan and that came back all within normal ranges too. In other good news I feel pretty certain that I have felt the baby a few times since [name_m]Saturday[/name_m]! Last week at my appointment my doctor asked if I had felt movement yet and I said nothing I was sure was the baby, and then on [name_m]Saturday[/name_m] morning I felt some movement that I am certain was not digestive, and I have felt the same a few times since. Despite the doctor’s reassurance that everything was fine I was feeling pretty stressed about it having been so hard to locate the heartbeat at our last appointment, so this has been very comforting.

Halloween candy has been much, much more of a temptation for me than usual today and I am feeling guilty about how much sugar the baby and I have had already! [name_f]Candy[/name_f] normally isn’t a big draw for me, so this is a new experience.

2 Likes
302

@Beort12 How exciting to get your low risk results back! Excellent news!! I’m glad you’ve been able to start feeling baby move and that it’s bringing you some comfort. [name_u]Early[/name_u] pregnancy is so strange in the fact the you can’t see or feel anything yet!

Are there any sweets left in your house? :rofl: It’s funny when you crave something you normally don’t care for. I wanted minestrone soup at 9 am the other day! :joy:

We made it to 12 weeks!! :tada::tada::tada: I feel an odd sense of accomplishment haha. We have a scan in two weeks (Nov 16th) to check baby’s growth and see if all this infection business has had any negative affects. Because of this, we are holding off our public announcement until we know everything is okay. We’ll still tell people if something goes wrong, but hubby pointed out that announcing it before the check up might make me stress more and that waiting is probably better for my mental health. I think he has a point, so I have to sit on my hands for another two weeks.

I picked up a pathology test from my GP yesterday and re-did the UTI test. They’re checking if the bacteria survived the last round of antibiotics or not. If it did, then I have to go on this extra strong, targeted stuff (I think she said for 3 days). [name_f]My[/name_f] digestive system is still up the creek, so I’m not looking forward to more antibiotics, but it is what it is and hopefully it’s all sorted soon.

I went to bed early with a monster headache last night. Thankfully, it seems it be gone this morning. I couldn’t tell what caused it, because eating and drinking did nothing. I wondered if it was hormonal.

303

@Beort12 - That’s great news on the test results!! And yay for movement!!! I can’t wait for that, even those first wiggles must be really reassuring! I’ve been getting pinchy cramps and have wondered if that’s baby, but I don’t think so, not yet anyway! I’m the exact opposite with the candy, normally I enjoy it, this year I’m very meh on most of it, except the occasion fruity gummy candy.

@_thelittlefairywren - 12 weeks!!! That’s so great, it does feel like a huge relief. I hope you get good news about these infections soon, even just to take a worry off your plate. And another scan for baby in a couple weeks will do wonders for helping you relax!!

————-
Not much to report on my end, I’ve gotten the hang of the Doppler and with baby being 15ish weeks it’s much easier to find. I check once a day just because it’s fun to chase baby down with it, then hear them boot the Doppler and swim away hahah otherwise I’ve been going to yoga and trying to eat a reasonably healthy and balanced diet. Filled my freezer with salmon haha cause it’s good for baby’s brain!
We will be telling my Mom on [name_m]Friday[/name_m] and his parents on [name_f]Sunday[/name_f]. I’ll be telling my brothers family in a few weeks yet, after the reassurance of the anatomy scan. The scan I bumped back a few days to Dec 1 so that my partner can FINALLY attend one with me, and I think it’s the best one for him to come to, because we’ll find out what baby is! 1 month away, exciting!!

2 Likes
304

This made me realise how much of this journey you are doing alone… :pensive: That must be hard. My hubby has been at every single appointment and scan, and I can’t imagine it any other way. You’re amazing to undertake such a big journey when your partner is often away. It’ll be so wonderful for him to be able to attend the anatomy scan with you after all these weeks! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like
305

@_thelittlefairywren congrats for 12 weeks!! That feels like such a big milestone! Sorry you are still dealing with this infection and all the related digestive issues. I hope the last antibiotic did the job already!

@Kibby I have heard people say it feels like bubbles or even a snake slithering, but for me neither of those descriptions feel accurate. It sort of felt like tapping at first (what I think now in retrospect was the baby but wasn’t sure at the time), and now it feels like someone is poking me with their finger from the inside.

Also, so glad your partner can go to that scan with you!! I am sure it has felt disappointing for you both for him to miss these appointments. And one month, so soon!

We have less than two weeks until our anatomy scan! Hoping the baby cooperates and we can find out the sex. I dreamed last night that we found out it was a girl and that my husband was disappointed (even though in real life I don’t think he would be), and that in the dream I wished it had been a boy instead because of that! In real, awake life I think we will both be perfectly happy either way. I have been thinking of asking the ultrasound tech to write it down instead of telling us in the moment. We aren’t going to do any sort of reveal, but I feel like finding out while I’m laying on the table feels a little anticlimactic, and I would rather be able to open the note up at home and find out in private. I haven’t yet said anything to my husband about this because I know he will find it extra, but I may insist anyways.

4 Likes
306

@Kiriko I don’t think I’ve posted here since the news, but my thoughts are with you.

@_thelittlefairywren I hope that the infection clears up and you have smooth sailing from here on out.

It seems like for the most part things are going well for those of you the farthest along and that’s wonderful to see! @Beort12 I am both excited and nervous about finally feeling movement eventually. On one hand, I think it might help with a sense of connection. On the other, the concept of having a living thing grow inside me is weird if I think about it too much and I wonder if obvious movement sensations inside would bring that up.

Fatigue is improving and sleep might if I can stop getting hungry in the middle of the night. I’m struggling with eating throughout the day in the way I need to. I think I need a better variety of easy and accessible snacks I can eat fast. I also don’t think I have thrown up since the weekend. I still feel pretty gross a lot, but not vomiting is better than vomiting. I am worried about gaining enough weight without relying on like…just eating a lot of ice cream or something. Maybe by the next few weeks that worry will be for naught, but right now it’s work to try to get enough.

1 Like
307

This is how I feel! I’ve heard people say the feeling is weird, can make you feel nauseated, or hurt and I’m like “:flushed: … I thought this was meant to be a good thing!”

I also have no idea what to expect or how I’ll know it’s actually the baby I feel, given I haven’t got this far before. @Beort12 your description of “poking on the inside” was helpful and distinctive - maybe it will be easier to notice than I think… :woman_shrugging:

1 Like
308

I have heard people say that feeling the baby move is odd for them, but for me so far I haven’t felt that way. I think mostly because there have been so many times I have worried if the baby is growing and doing okay, so feeling them is really sweet confirmation of that. Right now, like you said @NameSearchAccount, it has just upped my feeling of connection to the baby. They seem much more real, and I am getting a kick (pun intended) out of reading I am sure too much into their movements, like the last few days they seem most active around midday and night. I know real patterns don’t develop for a long time, still, so I am sure that I am just less active at those times and can feel it more!

@_thelittlefairywren at this point it definitely doesn’t hurt or make me feel nauseous! I have had a couple of moments of panic about how much stronger their movements are going to get, though, and how they can possibly stay in there another 5 months!

3 Likes
309

Had a phone call from my GP today re the infection saga. [name_f]My[/name_f] test result came back showing the original bacteria was gone, but now there is a different one. I now have different antibiotics to take and she said once they’re finished that’s the problem solved and no more tests needed. She also said she consulted with a gynaecologist and they said the spotting was most definitely just hormonal / inflammation from the infection. So I’m nearly out of the woods and back to normal!

2 Likes
310

@_thelittlefairywren - It is strange to consider how often I’m doing it alone, but I’m also grateful that so far I’ve had a really easy pregnancy. If I had been super nauseous or sick, the first trimester would’ve been hell to face alone. He’s luckily home all this week so that he can attend dinner and a play with me on [name_m]Friday[/name_m]. I think I sleep better when he’s home, I slept ELEVEN hours the other night!!!

———-
16 weeks now and still holding strong over here! No movements yet, but as some of you have mentioned, I’m almost a bit glad of it. I have some sensory issues and I’m not sure how well I’ll deal with the repeat movements and feelings. I’m excited to feel baby, but at the same time, I’m big on personal space and such, it could be a weird adjustment.
We also finally told my mom, and her best friend, who is like my second mom. They were both very excited and thankfully my mom didn’t say anything thoughtless! She immediately offered to buy our crib as a gift which is very sweet and appreciated.
We also told his parents this past weekend, they were incredibly excited and both came close to crying. His mom is excited to finally be a Grandma. His Dad has two older grandchildren from his half sister, but we never knew them as little babies so it’s a pretty big deal to him now that his son is “carrying on the family name”.
I still need to tell my brother and his family, I’m still just waiting til after the anatomy scan, my niece and nephew will be so excited so I just want to be sure [name_u]Baby[/name_u] is looking healthy before telling the little ones! They are 5 and 7, and we took them to the local indoor amusement park yesterday, made up lots of excuses as to why Auntie couldn’t go on the rides, and gave my partner a bit of experience as to what it’s like to hang out with kids for the afternoon, but he was fantastic about it. I think he’s finally really thinking about being a Dad and what that all means going forward. Luckily my niece and nephew are great kids and truly well behaved and a pleasure to spend time with :two_hearts:

Found out from my mom that I was 7lb4oz when I was born, and he was 6lb9oz, so I’m also hoping for a pretty average sized baby!
I saw my midwife on [name_m]Thursday[/name_m], baby’s heart rate was right around 150bpm still and I go back the first week of [name_u]September[/name_u].
I also had my meet and greet with my new family doctor who I absolutely loved! He’s new to [name_f]Canada[/name_f] having worked in [name_u]Ireland[/name_u] the past decade and he was genuinely excited to hear about my pregnancy. He had a ton of questions about maternity care here in [name_f]Canada[/name_f], I think I’m his first pregnant patient here! He said I can come in as often as I want for checks on myself and the pregnancy, and that he’ll take the baby on as a patient once he/she is born, which is fantastic as finding doctors here is nearly impossible. I also learned Paediatricians here are no longer accepting patients unless the child has medically complex needs, because there are so few doctors available!! So I’m extra grateful to have this doctor now, even if he’s a 30 minute drive across the city!

2 Likes
311

@Kibby wait, okay, I need start with this…who do you take kids to in [name_f]Canada[/name_f] if not a pediatrician? If there are so few of them who do you go to when they’re sick, need shots, etc? [name_m]Just[/name_m] a family doctor?

Anyways, so glad you told the grandparents-to-be! Sounds like such a special moment for you, especially after so long! [name_f]My[/name_f] father in law impulsively said he would buy us diapers for a year when my in laws found out (my father in law know of my husband’s fertility issues and had been very stressed about it) and I think my husband is going to try very hard to hold him to that! Mind you, I don’t think my FIL realizes how expensive diapers are…he can afford it fine but it would be a shock!

I will add I am pretty big personal space person too, and while I am worried that I will be super touched out in the baby/little kid phase so far internal baby movements have in some ways felt like an extension of my own body. I am guessing that will change as the baby gets bigger and stronger, but right now it doesn’t feel much more foreign that my stomach rumbling or things like that. [name_m]Just[/name_m] more unexpected, since it generally comes out of the blue.

3 Likes
312

@Beort12 - Isn’t it crazy?! [name_f]My[/name_f] midwife said it’s a decision the Paediatrics association came to last year or the year before. The healthcare system here is super broken especially since Covid, and our current provincial government doesn’t care to pay healthcare workers well. Basically you use a family doctor IF you can find one, I personally haven’t had a family doctor since I was about 18. I got really lucky to get one. And if you don’t have one you go to walk in clinics, which are free, but you wait hours to be seen and they don’t take appointments, so doing that with a baby/child would be awful!!! Wait times are minimum an hour, more often it’s 3-4+.
On one hand, it’s really good they save the paediatricians for the kids that REALLY need them, but also it’s a terrible system.

I also definitely immediately said to my mom “I hope you know how expensive cribs are these days!” I love the excitement behind immediately offering gifts but I’m definitely happy to split costs or not hold them to it. Everything baby is so costly!!! I don’t think grandparents quite realize how much things have increased since we were babies!

Both my mom and his asked if I could feel baby yet, those both said it feels like butterfly wings at first haha same words from both of them! That feels like something I can deal with at least! I’m also a bit worried about the clingy baby and toddler stages, but I’m hoping mommy instinct will help override the feels of not wanting to be constantly touched.

2 Likes
313

So my friend that’s pregnant with me found out she’s having a girl. And I’m feeling some kind of way about it… not angry, not jealous… I don’t know. It just feels like one of those situations where it all came much easier for her, she got pregnant in less than a year, no issues, and she’s getting the girl she wants. AND she really wants me to have a girl too, and so does my mom, and his mom. I still don’t know what I’m having of course, but, something about this is settling in hard and heavy on my heart today. I still really want a daughter… but also really want a son, and feel like no matter what I’m going to experience some kind of gender disappointment because I don’t know how many kids we will have and feel likely this will be our only one. I’m having trouble figuring out why I’m feeling this way, I’m so excited for her to have a girl, and it means I can still buy cute girl things for someone at least. Ugh I feel like my feelings are irrational but they are still there.

3 Likes
314

@Kibby I don’t think your feelings are irrational, I just think there is still a lot of grief and loss around what you originally imagined your family would look like and what it may look like now after all you have been through the last few years, and right now the baby’s sex is the most tangible example of that. And I think no matter which way it goes you will probably feel a bit of a sense of loss either way, like it sounds like you’re already anticipating. Not that you’re asking for advice, but I think you may end up in a position where internally you have to give yourself some grace and forgiveness no matter what you find out and what your feelings are about it. And also about your friend and how different her experience has been to yours, especially if it does end up that you are having a boy.

3 Likes
315

@Beort12 - I think you absolutely hit the nail on the head with all of that. Thank you for being so understanding and validating. I really needed that today. I think that I feel obligated to just be grateful and happy and everything, like a pregnancy should just fix the last 6 years… but it doesn’t. You are right in that I definitely have some unresolved feelings to work through regarding my infertility and the life I pictured having.

2 Likes
316

Hey ladies. Sorry for the radio silence! I’ve been so tired this week I felt like I couldn’t really compute much let alone respond! :sweat_smile:

@Kibby I’m so glad you got a whole week with your other half and he could go to the appointment with you. I hope your dinner and the play was lovely! I definitely don’t sleep as well when hubby is away - it’s hard to settle and feels less peaceful somehow.

16 weeks is amazing! I’m so happy for you! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I have been thinking about the personal space thing too… I look forward to the extra comfort of feeling the baby, but at the same time it sounds like it could get a bit overwhelming. I got mad at the cat for wanting to touch me too much the other day and thought “well, I probably should get used to this because the baby is going to be worse!” :face_with_spiral_eyes: I guess we’ll both see how this goes.

It’s lovely that you’re family was excited for you and I’m glad you didn’t get any odd comments.

Oh wow! Finding a doctor sounds like a chore over there! I’m glad you found one you like and are happy with. :blush: Those walk in clinics sound like a nightmare! No one wants to wait around for hours when you’re sick or feel miserable - what an awful system!!

Re your feelings about your friend’s baby girl - I think it’s perfectly understandable to feel a bit conflicted when you have had a hard fertility journey. No stage of the process feels easy and it’s all full of overthinking, worry, and doubts. [name_m]Just[/name_m] know that whatever you’re feeling is okay - you’ve been through a lot, so of course there are a million emotions. I worry about gender regret or name regret a lot because everything feels like it has to be perfect in case this is our one and only. It’s a huge mental load on top of all the physical changes etc. You’re not alone, lovely. We’re here to listen and support you, and all your feelings are valid even if you don’t understand them. :heart:

@Beort12 You should hold your FIL to his impulsive promise haha :smile: Nappies are so expensive!

Your explanation of baby’s movements is helpful. Thank you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

13w2d today, so we are counting down to trimester 2! Most of my symptoms are gone, except for the stuffy nose and gagging at random times. I don’t particularly feel nauseated anymore or have any food aversions. It is starting to warm up though, so that’s making me feel a bit uncomfortable (meant to be 38 C today :hot_face:). I’m glad I won’t be heavily pregnant in the pits of Aussie summer… [name_f]May[/name_f] is a good time to have a baby haha!

[name_f]My[/name_f] new thing is hip and glute pain / stiffness. Hubby says I aleady waddle about like I’m 8 months pregnant. [name_f]My[/name_f] mum and SIL said we should look into a new, better mattress and that it would probably help a lot, especially as I get bigger.

I’ve been thinking a bit about life changes recently. We’ve been together for nearly a decade and are so used to “just us” and doing whatever we want or going on trips, etc. I think I’m really starting to process how that is all about to change. It’s a bit of a grieving process really, because I have loved our carefree approach to life - I’ve wanted a baby so much, but I’m also sad to leave that lifestyle behind. Of course we can still go places and do things with a baby, but the dynamic will be so different.

I’m going away for 5 days from next [name_m]Saturday[/name_m] to see my best friend. Our birthdays are only 8 days apart, so we always try to catch up and do something together. I’m looking forward to a few days away from work and “real life”. She’s my biggest support (other that hubby) and it’s so comforting to hang out with her. She’s been so excited about baby and keeps asking if I’ll have a bump by the time she sees me (which I’m not sure about… I think my belly looks different, but it’s hard to dicern when you already have some chub!)

1 Like
317

Urgh. We are becoming a collection point for people who want to get rid of baby stuff. I keep getting “we have x and don’t want it any more, so you can have it!”

I’m just trying to get my head around what we need and don’t need and want and don’t want without everyone else piling on their opinions. :face_with_spiral_eyes::tired_face:

[name_f]My[/name_f] BIL keeps saying “don’t waste money on xyz, just borrow one”. And like I get it, but also if we want a new pram or a new cot that’s our choice and our money.

Too many people’s opinions makes me want to run awaaaaay…:sob:

2 Likes
318

@_thelittlefairywren - OMG I totally am with you! We don’t have people pawning stuff off on us but the opinions and suggestions are making me wish I’d never told anyone about the baby!!!
[name_f]My[/name_f] mom is being the worst for it, she’s constantly sending me used item listings for stuff that’s nothing like what I want and keeps telling me about what my friend is doing etc etc. I tried the tactic of saying I felt it was too early to purchase things and she said “Well so and so is already buying!”
And I finally lost it and said “Well so and so is lucky enough to have never lost a baby and we waited 6 years for this baby so I don’t really care what things cost!”
It’s so frustrating, it feels like I’m being judged for wanting exactly what I want after this long road to get here!!
/end rant

1 Like
319

@Kibby YES!! Exactly! Excuse me if I want a specific pram or cot or whatever. I am allowed to want specific items and spend whatever amount of money I deem fit. Yes, I know things are expensive and we’re about to go down to a single income, but I’m not living in the gutter needing everyone’s old freebies either. I feel like screaming: “I’m glad that worked for you, but let me work out what works for me!” :exploding_head: We’re in our 30’s, for heavens sake. It’s not like I’m 16 and have no clue what I’m doing! :woman_facepalming:

1 Like
320

@_thelittlefairywren I think I noticed my stomach looking different by 13 weeks, but I don’t think anyone else would have noticed. I am 19 weeks now, and I would say at about 18 weeks my belly really popped out and I do definitely have a visible bump. If I am wearing a baggy sweatshirt or something you still wouldn’t see, but in anything form fitting you would. Although if you didn’t know what I looked like before you may just still think I have been eating some really big meals.

I am not a huge things person and having a million items that are used for such a short time already stresses me out, so I do think if people end up giving us stuff we don’t need or is duplicates of what we have I will be getting rid of it. We have lots of storage space in our basement, but the things we actually do want will take up plenty of space. There is an organization that I work with often that has a young parent program, so I think to make myself feel better I will donate to them things that people gave us in a well-meaning way but that we don’t need. I am also getting things second hand, which is how I shop normally anyways. Picking a stroller and carseat, which we will get new of course, is turning out to be way tougher than I expected though.

3 Likes