I am honestly embarrassed to even post about this, but my son is almost 3 months old, and I am still not comfortable with his name. The story is a long and complicated one unfortunately. On our way to the hospital, my DH and I still hadn’t decided on a name…he liked names like [name_m]Callum[/name_m] and [name_m]Declan[/name_m], I liked names like [name_m]Isaac[/name_m], [name_u]Micah[/name_u] and [name_u]Owen[/name_u], etc. The only name we came to a middle ground on was [name_u]Owen[/name_u]. We both liked it enough. But, once our DS was born, for some reason I thought he looked like an [name_m]Oliver[/name_m]. We had hardly ever talked about that name and my DH started to warm up to it in the hospital. This is never a name I would have thought of choosing (my other kid’s names are [name_f]Tara[/name_f] and [name_u]Mason[/name_u]). However, after much deliberation in the hospital on my part, we chose [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] because we liked the story of thinking of it when he was born and actually both agreeing on it.
Well, just hours after I got home from the hospital, I started regretting it…thinking it didn’t go with our other kids’ names and didn’t feel like a name I would pick. After agonizing over it for about 5 days, my DH suggested I change it to [name_u]Owen[/name_u] so I would feel better and move on. So…that’s what I did, except I didn’t feel the huge relief that I thought I would. I almost immediately started second guessing [name_u]Owen[/name_u]. (We have a neighbor named [name_m]Cohen[/name_m] and all of a sudden I start thinking of him when I say [name_u]Owen[/name_u] and thinking [name_u]Owen[/name_u] was too similar with [name_u]Mason[/name_u]).
Once all of this occurred, I began to realize there was more going on. I was crying all the time and not wanting to get out of bed. I started seeing a therapist for PPD and anxiety. They suggested that the name issue was a symptom of my PPD and to wait until it has gotten better and then I would feel better about it.
However, here I am almost 3 months out and still hardly feel any better! I’m wondering when this fog is going to end. I am almost paralyzed by this decision and picking the right name consumes so much of my thoughts. I try to block it out, but when I look at my sweet DS, my mind automatically gravitates to…what should his name be? Right now, our family has barely been calling him anything but “bubby,” thinking that it might change. I realize this can’t go on forever, but I honestly don’t know what to do.
On a related side note, it took us 2 years to get pregnant this time with 3 miscarriages during that time, so this birth was long awaited and prayed for. I am so frustrated with myself that I am allowing this decision to take over my thoughts when I know I am so grateful for him and should just enjoy these first few precious months. It’s like I know that’s what I should be doing, but my mind can’t move past getting his name right. Since we changed it to [name_u]Owen[/name_u], my DH has made comments that it’s too plain or boring compared to [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] (after I shared that I wasn’t comfortable with it) and not many other people like it…so now I’ve got it in my head that it’s not special enough for him. I had liked the name [name_u]Micah[/name_u] even before he was born, especially because of its meaning “Who is Like God?” It reminded me to trust in God’s timing as I waited what seemed like so long to conceive. However, once I got pregnant, my DH said it sounded too feminine to him because he knew a few girls in high school named [name_u]Micah[/name_u]. So now I’m automatically paranoid about that, even though I still love the meaning behind it.
So, as of now, my DH is totally fine with me changing it to whatever I would like if it would make me feel better. I just feel like I have thought about it and analyzed it so much now, that no name seems right. I read somewhere to pick the name that makes you smile every time you say it…well what if no name does for me? I’m so lost and confused on what to do and I need to finalize this in my mind somehow. Other names we’ve talked about in addition to [name_u]Owen[/name_u] and [name_u]Micah[/name_u] are [name_m]Isaac[/name_m] and [name_m]Henry[/name_m]. DH doesn’t absolutely love those but does like [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and agrees that [name_u]Micah[/name_u] has a good meaning. It’s very nice of him to be so open to me doing what I think is right, but it also makes me anxious about it all being on my shoulders…and it’s hard to settle on a name you know many people have said they don’t particularly like at some point (mainly my DH and sisters), even though now they’re saying for me to pick anything and feel better!
I realize I sound crazy and I am so sorry for such a long post, I’m just pretty desperate for help and thought an objective opinion may help me. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this…
