I have a friend who is expecting a baby girl and her sister is expecting a baby boy. Before my friend knew the gender she really loved a certain name, but Sis said [name_m]Friend[/name_m] couldn’t use it because Sis was going to. Now that [name_m]Friend[/name_m] is definitely having a girl, Sis doesn’t like that name anymore and is going to name her baby boy something else.
[name_m]Friend[/name_m] has had a really hard time finding the perfect name for her baby girl. She had told me a couple of times that she really liked a certain name, but couldn’t use it because it had been a long time love of Sis’. Then one day she sent me a very excited message saying that Sis had given her blessing for [name_m]Friend[/name_m] to use that name and [name_m]Friend[/name_m] and her DH were thrilled. They felt that they FINALLY had the perfect name. Sis called [name_m]Friend[/name_m] back the next morning and told her that she had changed her mind. What if she had a baby girl someday and wanted to use that name? She also said that if [name_m]Friend[/name_m] uses the name, things will never be the same between she and Sis. [name_m]Friend[/name_m] is crushed.
What would you do in [name_m]Friend[/name_m]'s situation?
No one owns a name. If my sister really loves a name I wouldn’t use it because I love my sister more than any name I’ve ever loved. And I know that if I was expecting a girl and my sister wasn’t she’d let me use it because she loves me more than any names as well. It doesn’t really sound like your friend and her sister love each other that much, otherwise a name wouldn’t be such a big deal.
If you tell us the name we might be able to come up with some suggestions.
I think she should ignore her sister and use whatever name she wants for her child. It is HER child, and the naming of said child is the responsibility of her and her partner, NOT her sister. And if her sister doesn’t like that, then I’m sure she’ll get over it once she meets your friend’s beautiful little girl. Good luck x
See that’s just it, ottilie. [name_m]Friend[/name_m] loves her sister so so much, but her sister treats her pretty badly and [name_m]Friend[/name_m] is the type of person that doesn’t really see it that way. She feels guilty for wanting to use the name she loves so much now and is scared to ruin her relationship with her sister even though they don’t have a great one to begin with.
The name is [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]. I’ve already suggested [name_f]Amelia[/name_f], [name_f]Emilia[/name_f], [name_f]Livana[/name_f], Liviana, and [name_f]Livia[/name_f]. DH doesn’t like [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] or [name_f]Emilia[/name_f] and [name_m]Friend[/name_m] says [name_f]Livana[/name_f], Liviana, and [name_f]Livia[/name_f] are pretty, but not it. I’ve noticed that she’s not fond of names that end in -ana.
Well, her sister doesn’t sound like someone I’d want around, but if this might ruin their relationship it’s really up to your friend. If my sister treated me that way I’d stand up to here. No one owns [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], it’s not like it’s Aethelwyne or something rare and different we’re talking about here.
There isn’t much to add here that hasn’t been said - tell your friend to use the name she loves, sounds like her sister is just playing mind games with her. Soon they’ll both be too busy with their little bundles of joy to care about such a petty thing. What are the future fathers saying about all this? I hope they are telling the sister how silly and petty she is acting.
Thank you for the suggestions, ottilie! And I completely agree with you. [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is a top 5 name! No one owns it. They even live in different states and see each other maybe once or twice a year. My friend has said she’d be fine with her sister still naming a future daughter [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and them both having Olivias. [name_f]One[/name_f] could go by [name_f]Olive[/name_f] and the other [name_f]Livvy[/name_f] when the family gets together if that would make things easier.
I really have no idea what the sister’s husband thinks of it all. My friend’s husband is not a fan of the sister in the first place, so he’s not a happy camper at all.
After much deliberation and thought, my friend has decided to use the name she loves. If her sister has conniption about it, that’s on her, not my friend.
This is just me, but I would never use a name if my brother and his wife were set on it. I just wouldn’t feel right about it. There are sooooooo many names out there. [name_m]Just[/name_m] move on.
I can see it from both sides. I have names that [name_f]LOVE[/name_f], but anytime a friend is pregnant and is name searching I always offer up my loves. On the other hand, if I had a friend who was so in love with one particular name, I would definitely steer away from it. The problem here is that my friend did just that. She steered clear of [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and searched and searched and searched for that perfect name, but nothing ever felt right. I can’t even begin to tell you how many lists of names I went over with her. Then she’s telling her sister about her baby naming woes one day and Sis says, “You can use [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] if you want.” The sister wasn’t even going to use [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] if she had had a girl! She was going to use [name_f]Penelope[/name_f]. But anyway, that’s all beside the point now. My friend is using the name she loves regardless and I applaud her for that.
If I was her, I would just use the name I effing wanted. What gives her sister the right to dictate who can use what name? What if some huge celebrity decided to use that name? Would she get angry over that too?
My general feeling is that [name_m]Friend[/name_m] has naming rights to her daughter, regardless of anyone’s opinion. Sis may not become pregnant again for years or may never have another child or may never have a daughter… so in my opinion, it’s pointless for her to hold a name hostage based on something that hasn’t happened or something that may never happen. For all she knows, even if she does have a daughter, by the time she does she may [name_f]LOVE[/name_f] a different name and not be so keen on [name_f]Olivia[/name_f].
[name_m]Friend[/name_m] has every right to name her daughter what she wants right now. Sis will come around when she’s not full of hormones.
OMG. All this drama over beautiful [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]. She is so incredibly popular right now it’s ridiculous trying to lay claim to her.
Does your Friends [name_f]Sister[/name_f] really think that if she has a little [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] in 5 years none of her friends will have considered or used that name by then?
Your friend does have the right to name her child whatever she wants and truthfully her [name_f]Sister[/name_f] needs to grow up and not be such a ninny. But, I can understand not wanting to step on a loved ones toes.
Suggestions: [name_f]Viola[/name_f] (Vie-OH-la -> all the same letters and very similar sounds just jumbled up some), Abisola ([name_u]Abi[/name_u]-sol-[name_m]AH[/name_m] -> Nigerian name meaning “born in wealth”), or Oleander (only because its too close to [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] for her sister to be able to use it, but far enough away that one can feign ignorance. lol…).
Its hard to give suggestions off of one perfect name. What about [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] do they like so much? The sounds? The meaning? the long O with the -ia ending?
I think that she should just use it especially if the relationship is rocky. No one owns a name. If she still can’t use it what about [name_f]Olive[/name_f] or [name_f]Olympia[/name_f]?
If it was a really rare name I could understand, but a hugely popular trendy name? Obviously there are going to be a lot of other kids named that! Maybe the friend or the sister or both should branch out a little in their name choices, then they wouldn’t keep picking the same names!
I think telling somebody they can’t use a name because it’s always been a favourite of yours isn’t fair. If your sister and friend both like [name_f]Mary[/name_f], for example, and your sister is having a girl and your friend is having a boy, then sister is totally fine using [name_f]Mary[/name_f], even if friend said it was one of her favourites. This is why close friends/family shouldn’t discuss names!
By the way, neither of them should use [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]! It’s really boring and overused. And after this fight, they’ll discover they each have five friends with baby girls named [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] anyway.
I love [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], but only because it honors my mom, so I’d put it in the middle spot. My uncle is planning on using it for his next baby, and all I could think was, “Yet ANOTHER [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]…”
Anyway, I give props to [name_m]Friend[/name_m] for using the name (however popular/overused it is). You can’t keep a name on hold like a pair of shoes. Especially a name that’s featured on a multitude of girls.
Thank you for all the comments! I’m happy that the general consensus is that it’s ridiculous for Sis to hold the name hostage. Especially since it’s an extremely popular name.
My friend initially really wanted something that wasn’t so popular. Her oldest daughter’s name is [name_f]Sophia[/name_f]. She’s 7, so she was named a bit before the [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] craze actually hit and it definitely aggravates [name_m]Friend[/name_m] that it is so popular now. Her two year old’s name is [name_f]Ava[/name_f]. While pregnant with her, [name_m]Friend[/name_m]'s mom suggested the name and [name_m]Friend[/name_m] immediately fell in love with it. Then she looked it up and discovered how popular it was. She searched and searched for something she liked just as much, but ended up using [name_f]Ava[/name_f] in the end regardless of popularity because she loved it so much and it felt right. This time she again searched and searched for something that felt right, but wasn’t so popular. Again nothing felt right until Sis told [name_m]Friend[/name_m] that she could use [name_f]Olivia[/name_f].
She loves names that end in A and are romantic, classic, elegant, and gorgeous. [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] fits that bill and goes very well with [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] and [name_f]Ava[/name_f].
classic, romantic and elegant that end in a and go well with [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] and [name_f]Ava[/name_f]…
[name_f]Olivia[/name_f] alternatives could include: [name_f]Viola[/name_f], [name_f]Clara[/name_f], H/[name_f]Elena[/name_f], [name_f]Lydia[/name_f], [name_f]Corinna[/name_f] and [name_f]Nora[/name_f]
