I dismissed my Russian stepfather’s superstition not to get any baby gear ahead of time because it’s highly impractical to be scrambling at the last minute, especially for things like the car seat, which I’d need to even take the baby home.
However, I was thinking about the idea of not naming a baby until birth. I have 2 names I’m considering, but I’m not making either official until he’s born. I know it’s a lot less likely that something bad will happen as far along as I am, if something did, I’d feel really weird about using a name on a subsequent child if I’d had it solid in my mind that it was this baby’s name.
I can see the benefits of choosing a name ahead of time and it’s not like I’m afraid evil spirits will steal him or anything, but I just feel kind of uneasy calling him by name before he’s even born. What do you guys think?
A Facebook friend and her partner wanted to wait to meet their daughter to choose a name for her, while my cousin picked a boy’s and a girl’s name as soon as she found out she was expecting. Personally, I think I would like to try to choose a name and start to use it before the baby arrives. To get used to saying it, to see if I really do like it, etc.
Well, I seem to be completely incapable of settling on a name anyway so I’ll be waiting until I meet the little guy, but regardless it just doesn’t feel natural to me to call the baby by a name before he’s born - a LOT of my pregnant friends are doing it and I sometimes feel a little jealous that they have found it easy to settle on a definite name already, but I just cannot call this baby anything but Bean until he’s born. It just feels weird!
I always thought naming a baby before even meeting them was strange. I don’t understand how you can name somebody before you meet them. I can understand having a #1 name that you want to use, but I think it is important to have backup names just in case.
Yea, I have it down to just 2 names, and I don’t think I’ll have a hard time making the call when he’s born, I just don’t want to do it just yet. [name]Even[/name] if I did have the name picked out, I wouldn’t want to announce it. I don’t want one of the many pregnant women I know to swoop in and use it first and on the other hand, I don’t want to hear anyone giving me a hard time about it, which I feel is less likely once it’s on the birth certificate.
Of course, my mom already knows the 2 options and is already giving me a hard time about it. If she keeps shoving the one option down my throat, I’m going to wind up hating it and using the other one anyway!
I would quit talking about names with your mother, if she brings it up, change the subject or tell her it isn’t up for discussion anymore. I don’t want to see you railroaded or made to feel like you need to use her choice and then regret it later on. My mom did it to me, my son is almost 4 and I desperately wish I could change it - it’s way too popular.
I definitely agree that it is much easier for people to accept “This is his name” after he’s already born than it is for them to keep their negative opinions to themselves when you say “This is what I’m thinking of calling him”. And I also totally understand your fear of another mother who is due before you hearing it and deciding your name is much better than the one she used to like. That would be one of my biggest fears! Luckily, since I am the crazy name nerd in my group, all of my friends know the names on my list are off limits. =]
I haven’t brought it up since the week after I found out I was having a boy. She periodically tries to call him by name, and I tell her not to. The other day I flat-out told her she was going to turn me off the name enough that the other one would win out by default. She looked at me like I’d slapped her across the face for even suggesting that I’d take that one off the table. The one she likes will be in the middle name spot even if I use the other, but I almost don’t want to use it as a middle if I don’t use it as a first, because I’m afraid she’ll call him that name and try to justify it as being part of his name. I don’t even really get it–the one she likes was her father’s name, so I understand why it appeals to her, but the other option is a male version of what she named me, so she has no grounds for not liking it.
Although I had a couple names I really liked, we didn’t name my daughter until she was born. If you think about it, it’s hard to name a person you’ve never met! I know many make the official decision when they’re still pregnant but I think it makes perfect sense to just make a list and pick once baby’s born.
We were like 97% sure what name we were using but had a little list.
We also kept our list secret after our #1 choice was stolen by my husband’s brother & his wife who initiated a “you tell us yours, we’ll tell you ours” conversation…
Honestly when I met my daughter she didn’t look like a [name]Leonie[/name] or a [name]Nina[/name] or an [name]Annette[/name]…she looked like an infant! I think they grow into whatever you name them really.
If I’m ever pregnant again I will keep the name list secret & probably do the same thing…settle on a main contender but have a few back up options
I think I’m getting closer to being “safe” on the name-stealing issue. I think the last of the pregnant women I know who were having boys has delivered and the only ones left due before me are having girls. But I think there is one couple I know also due in [name]January[/name] who are waiting to be surprised. [name]One[/name] of my names is in the 200s so there is some risk people I know would come up with it on their own, but the other is outside the top 1000 so I doubt anyone would think to use it if I don’t tip them off first.
