My stepdad was kind of freaking out that we’re getting together stuff for the baby. He said it’s bad luck and that we should wait until after the baby’s born to get anything. He’s Russian and apparently he’s used to women spending 7 days in the hospital after birth. I expect to be at the birth center for 6-12 hours. [name]Even[/name] if I was willing to give up all decision-making to someone else (even though I’m the one that’s been researching safety features and figuring out the need/want divide on items, not to mention I’d prefer to pick out things I like taste/style-wise) there just wouldn’t be time to go out and buy everything he needs, assemble the crib, install the car seat, etc before bringing him home. And anyone that would be in the position of buying stuff would be close enough family that they’d want to actually be there with me and the baby, not running around in the middle of winter collecting cloth diapers.
Ok, so I get the idea of waiting to tell people until after the 1st trimester and we waited until after the ultrasound to buy anything, partly so we’d know if it should be boy or girl stuff. Getting things here and there over several months is definitely spreading out the expense. At this point, I’m far enough along that even if I went into labor right now, it would be reasonable that he would be able to survive and would need a place to sleep and something to wear.
Anyway, does anyone else have superstitious family, not just on this point, but anything concerning your pregnancy/baby? Luckily I didn’t have anyone trying to do weird stuff to me to figure out the gender before I had my ultrasound. [name]Do[/name] you personally have things you think are good/bad luck regarding your pregnancy?
No, in my case it was me who had the superstitions. I did not want to have a baby shower before my daughter was born nor did I want to fill up the house with baby related gear [for example have an empty crib sitting around for months]… some people [meaning my ex-mother-in-law] really took this the wrong way, as in she took it that I didn’t care about my baby and must be selfish. I had tried explaining I considered it bad luck and tempting fate to have a shower before my child was born, I realize it’s a medieval type superstition and not rational, but it was common enough in the area I grew up in and with the people I knew when I was growing up that it stuck. My family did have a shower after she was born, one day after to be exact; I had filled out a registry for baby related gear so everyone knew what kinds of stuff I wanted/needed, I just didn’t receive any of it until after she was born. The rest of the stuff I picked up myself later on, for me at least this wasn’t a problem.
And if I had it to do over again, I’d do it the same way. I really enjoyed the relief that I had a healthy baby and I was holding her in my arms safely when I was receiving various gifts, for me it allowed me to be more relaxed, enthusiastic and excited because I got to introduce her to family at the time.
I’m not superstitious about these things at all, but my boyfriend is. He was freaking out when I started talking about buggies and cribs and changing tables. He said we were going to jinx it if we bought stuff for the baby before he/she was born (obviously he had been talking to my sister’s husband who is seriously superstitious about everything), and wanted to wait until [name]Baby[/name] comes before buying anything.
Me, I couldn’t had a relaxed and harmonious pregnancy not having this stuff done. I would’ve freaked out in the hospital knowing all the things I would’ve needed to get done, pram, bed, changing table, nappies, baby clothes, bottles, cloths… I managed to get him around, I bring him to most of my doctor’s appointments (it definitely helped him seeing our baby on the ultrasound) and got him some nice daddy books. It made him calm down, luckily, so now I’ve got a gorgeous baby bed and a fantastic vintage pram.
I can understand the superstition. Many of the women in my family (in my mothers generation mostly) have been pediatric nurses in a past life. My mother hates sending gifts before the child is born, just in case. Mind you she’s going through pseudo-grandmother syndrome with all my cousin’s being pregnant (and I’m not) and might have a closet full of things stored for their children. But, she doesn’t give gifts until the child is born and named.
@ottilie I’m glad you managed to get your SO on board but for the ladies out there who might not be able too…
I’m sure you could store the bare necessities you need to feel prepared at a grand-parent-to-be or aunt-to-be’s house (someone who is going to be almost as excited about the child as you are). A few changes of clothes, diapers, car seat, ect. and then plan a shower with gifts off of a registry right after the birth. That way you will know you’re prepared and can still honor the superstitions the other person holds.
I feel the same way–I’d be freaking out having to get everything at the last minute. I want to have everything in place so when it’s time I can relax and just focus on taking care of my newborn instead of worrying about material things. I’m taking the time to hit up yard sales and resale shops for some items, which is a great savings. Plus, I want to have time to compare car seat safety features before I buy and have time to make sure it works in my car and have the installation professionally checked before taking him home in it.
I got most of his clothes at a yard sale. Someone’s mom had gone overboard buying baby stuff for her new grandson and there were so many name brand items and sets in good condition, some even with the tags still on, for $2 each. We’re taking advantage of store sales on big items as they come along as well.
Haha my Russian/ Jewish in-laws didn’t even attend my baby shower & they would like…spit & whisper when I talked about my pregnancy in the first trimester!
I didn’t let it get me down.
My opinion is horrible thing happen, yes, but why live life expecting the eorst?
Enjoy your nesting!
I just avoided the topic with that half of the family!
Honestly, too, it’s not like this stuff is going to go to waste. I am going to be somebody’s mommy and while I would be absolutely devastated if something happens to the baby I’m carrying, when I was done grieving I would certainly try again to conceive or adopt until I had some little person to go in that crib.
It feels so much more real to gather these things, to reassure myself that I’m going to be a parent. If the house was empty of baby things, it would feel like I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep him or give him away. That may be irrational in its own right, but I like the reminders that yes, there is going to be a baby coming home to live here.
Absolutely! And if it helps you feel prepared you should go for it! I think it’s good for husbands/partners too. Adding a little person to your daily routine is a big change. If setting up a nursery makes it feel more gradual that’s a good thing!