I’m pregnant with my first, due in [name_u]March[/name_u], and encountering an unexpected and rather daunting naming challenge - what will the baby call us?
As a cis femme, I’m pretty easy to figure out: I have been referring to myself as Mama or Mommy. But when it comes to my partner, we’re coming up dry.
Baby’s other biological parent is my spouse of ten years, who is biologically intersex, identifies as non-binary, and uses they/them pronouns. They have no idea what they want to be called. As someone who was assigned male, and whose biological sex and gender identity are ignored or trampled on by most of their conservative family members, they really shy away from traditionally male parent names like Papa, Daddy, etc. Female-coded names like Mom are easier for them, but binary options still feel a little like erasure.
We have tried Nonny, because it’s similar to Mommy and riffs on “non-binary,” but it wasn’t a comfortable enough fit to put up with the need to constantly explain the term to others. That being said, if there’s a gender neutral or non-binary term that works, that would probably be the ideal outcome.
I know an easy solution would be to have the child just call my partner by their first name, but we both shy away from that because it’s something you usually see in relationships where one parent is a step-parent or is dating the bio-parent. Since in this case, we are both biological parents, I’d prefer to be on the same footing.
We could really use some suggestions. We’re open to other languages than [name_f]English[/name_f], and we’re especially interested in any gender-neutral parent names you can think of or are familiar with.
Thanks in advance for the help and ideas!