I am planning on using the name [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] for my daughter. It is my name and a family name of many generations. I don’t want to call her [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] and am considering calling her by a middle name instead. [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] [name_f]Claire[/name_f] is a possibility and call her [name_f]Claire[/name_f]. I’ve had a lot of mixed feeling from people about calling a child by a middle name instead of a first name. Any suggestions?
If you’re worried about it being confusing, I wouldn’t let that stop you. Many people go by their middle names. It DOES have the potential to be slightly confusing depending on where you live, but you’d probably only have to explain it once (if it’s even important for the person she’s talking to to know- often it won’t be.) Besides that I can’t think of any objection to using a child’s middle name. There’s always the option of putting [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] in the middle spot, but it sounds like you’ve already thought it through and would rather use it as a first. If you want to use her middle name, I say go for it.
I always thought it was a little weird to go by the middle name, but I know a lot of people who do and it isn’t a huge deal. Personally I would prefer [name_f]Claire[/name_f] [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] if you are calling her [name_f]Claire[/name_f].
I don’t think it’s a big deal. I know some people who called by their middle names and they get on fine. There might be some confusion at times but there can be confusion with any name.
I think it’s completely fine.
I don’t see the point in giving a child a first name that they’re not going to go by–outside of nicknames. Why can’t you name her [name_f]Claire[/name_f] [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] since you’ll be calling her [name_f]Claire[/name_f]?
I agree with this. It’ll be confusing indeed, but many people have done that and that’s OK.
My parents did exactly this when naming my brother: he has my dad’s first name, and middle name that he exclusively goes by. He has never had a problem with it, just a bit of mild confusion with letters in the post (are they for my dad or him?) and whilst at school, initially the teachers called him by his first name, to which he completely ignored. However, this is easy to overcome. If you love the name, then go for it - don’t let this hold you back!
It’s not a big deal, but why not use [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] in the middle?
I think it’s fine to call her by her middle name. Have you also considered looking into NN alternatives (other than [name_u]Val[/name_u]) that you might use? We could brainstorm on it, but off the top of my head you might consider [name_f]Vera[/name_f], [name_u]Vale[/name_u]/[name_m]Vail[/name_m], V, [name_f]Vi[/name_f], [name_f]Viv[/name_f], [name_f]Vivi[/name_f], Livi…
I think it’s quite common for people to go by a middle name. It’s the same kind of idea as going by a nickname more than a full legal name. For most people you will just introduce your daughter as [name_f]Claire[/name_f] and they’ll have no idea. The only time it start to get a bit complicated on when you’re doing things like buying plane tickets and doing paperwork for a new job or other things where you have to specify legal name vs preferred name. My husband has dealt with this his whole life and he doesn’t seem to mind. If there is a story behind it I think you can totally go for it.
I know a whole family who do exactly that, by tradition. Not one of them uses their first names. Like previous posters have said, it might be confusing on paperwork or post, but if you introduce her as [name_f]Claire[/name_f] and tell the school that’s her preferred name, you’ll be fine.
For this particular family I know, they tend to use the same names too, so post must be a nightmare. A letter will arrive for [name_u]Michael[/name_u], but is it for [name_u]Michael[/name_u] [name_m]Paul[/name_m] or [name_u]Michael[/name_u] [name_m]Samuel[/name_m] (neither of whom answer to [name_u]Michael[/name_u]) or is it for [name_m]Paul[/name_m] [name_u]Michael[/name_u], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_u]Michael[/name_u] or [name_m]Samuel[/name_m] [name_u]Michael[/name_u] (none of whom has the first name [name_u]Michael[/name_u], but they all answer to it!)? They seem to get on fine, and they’re the most extreme example I know
I know a boy that’s about 8 has an obscure name I can’t remember. HIs middle name is [name_m]William[/name_m] and everyone he knows calls him [name_m]Will[/name_m], same with his older brother exept [name_m]Leo[/name_m]. I can see it happening!
Both my parents do that, as decided by their parents. My father thinks nothing of it while my mother minds terribly–but she was almost grown before she learned the name she was going by wasn’t her legal name.
I think [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] [name_f]Claire[/name_f] is a really lovely name and I would go for it.
I don’t know, part of me feels like it should be the personal choice of the name holder to go by their middle name, it’s not exactly fair for you to decide that for them, predetermined at birth. But I guess this is common enough, it’s not too big of a deal. I would still just name her [name_f]Claire[/name_f] [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] if your going to call her [name_f]Claire[/name_f] though.
I don’t see a problem with calling her by her middle name. Whichever name she uses in everyday life, that’ll just be her name, and it won’t make a difference to anyone whether it’s legally her first or middle, it’ll just be what people know her as. No different than using a nickname really. The people I’ve known who’ve gone by a middle, I didn’t realize it wasn’t their first name until they told me anyways. One of them has a family name as a first name and his parents always intended to call him by his middle, like in your situation, and as an adult he still goes by his middle.
For what it’s worth, [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] [name_f]Claire[/name_f] and [name_f]Claire[/name_f] [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] both sound nice to me.
Personally, I would always put the name I intended to use in the first name spot. So I would use [name_f]Claire[/name_f] [name_f]Valerie[/name_f]. I think it’s strange to intend to use the name that isn’t on the legal documents as the first name etc.
However, I know loads of people who go by their middle names, lots of times I’m so used to calling them that I didn’t even realise it wasn’t their legal first name - one is even my aunt! Her name is legally [name_f]Geraldine[/name_f] [name_f]Zoey[/name_f] but I’ve always known her as Aunty [name_f]Zoey[/name_f]. I think if that’s the route you go down it’s common enough not to be an issue, I just don’t really get it.
Both [name_f]Claire[/name_f] [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] and [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] [name_f]Claire[/name_f] are lovely.
I think it’s fine.