Calling the child by middle name?

I would like to call my baby by their middle name because the first name is quite popular.
My question is how can I teach the child their first name as well without it being confusing?

Also if you do this and have a child in school do you use their first or middle name?

My littlest sister is called by her middle name. Her middle, [name_f]Aurora[/name_f], was turned into the nickname [name_u]Rory[/name_u] that she has used since birth. All the family know her as [name_u]Rory[/name_u].
When she started school, she was enrolled as [name_f]Aurora[/name_f]. And on her first day, her teacher thought she was in the wrong class because she introduced herself as her first name. She told our family that she would like to be known as [name_u]Rory[/name_u] to family and “first name” at school.
She was 6 when she made this decision. I would say she knew both names as a combination of seeing it written, hearing others talk about her, or being called her serious name when she got in trouble.

I’d say the easiest way to go about it would be to use a combination of some or all or the names, whenever you say it. Eventually, all of it will become their identity, but they are then free to choose which names belong in certain parts of their lives.

My grandfather goes by his middle name, [name_m]Wayne[/name_m], even though his first name is [name_m]Dennis[/name_m]. (My uncle, a [name_m]Jr[/name_m]., goes by [name_m]Dennis[/name_m].) All his mail and official documents are in the name [name_m]Dennis[/name_m], but everyone calls him [name_m]Wayne[/name_m] and knows him by that name. I don’t think it’s a big deal, because kids pick up on things really quickly. If you’re worried about it, make sure to use both names frequently-enough to where they won’t forget.

My great-aunt’s first name was [name_f]Gladys[/name_f], though she almost always went by her middle name; [name_f]Irene[/name_f]. In the time that I knew her, she always used [name_f]Irene[/name_f] when she had to write her name on something. I called her “Auntie”, which was originally invented by my mother’s cousin (her nephew) and it had been used by all children and young people in my family right up until her death. However, the adults in the family almost always called her “Auntie [name_f]Glad[/name_f]”, which gives me the impression that for a long time in the earlier part of her life she was known by her first name rather than her middle name, but I’m not 100% sure. Apparently she felt like she had gotten the least pleasant name out of her sisters (who were L!ly, [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] and R0se) which I think is one of the main reasons as to why she preferred to go largely by her middle name. Since I don’t know if she used [name_f]Irene[/name_f] in school I can’t be of much help to you on that, but I just thought I’d share!

Personally I think that if you really want to do it, then go for it; though I’ve always thought that if you want your child to be referred to by their middle name, give them the middle name as their first name instead of vice versa. I think it could be a little confusing on school records but when speaking with people at school, I think one quick correction would get people used to it (one of my friends at sixth form has a double barrelled first name and they put her down as one of the names, but she prefers to be known as her full name and when she corrected the administrator, who then informed all her teachers, everyone now refers to her by her full name).

Thank you all for your input!

Btw “Auntie” is commonly used and your mother’s cousin did not invent it :stuck_out_tongue:
Poor Auntie [name_f]Glad[/name_f] though! That must have been a terrible feeling, thinking you got the worst name.

And the whole reason for using the middle name is more so because I’m sure there will be a dozen other girls by that name at primary school but when she gets older and can branch out of being in groups of people that are not the same age she can use her first name (which sounds better going first-middle instead of middle-first) I know I’m being vague about the name but its pretty much because I haven’t fully decided yet lol.

Erm, yes, I’m fully aware that Auntie is a common nickname/term of endermeant, I meant that she “invented” its usage in my immediate family. Perhaps I should have been more clear.

My cousin’s daughter goes by her middle name and has had almost no trouble except from family! The problem was that they always intended to call her by her first name, and were using her middle name as a sort of family around-the-house nickname – but when you are a baby and toddler the main people that know you are family, so by the time she started school she didn’t want to go by her first name, as it was so rarely used. So she has always known her first name, but almost everyone prefers to use her middle. She has one aunt who calls her by the first name exclusively, but it’s like their little pet secret.

As a teacher, I’ll tell you that it isn’t that big a deal when kids show up not going by their “official” name. Between nicknames, middle names, initial names, foreign names, assumed “American” names so they don’t have to go by their “foreign” names, kids who really do prefer their last name, kids who have come up with their own nickname, and everything else you can expect, I’m so used to it. In younger grades it’s nice if parents come to the open house or whatever so teachers know what to expect. In older grades usually when roll is called on the first day, you just ask for kids to tell you what they go by. And I know for me I always keep a marked list for substitutes so that they will call kids by the “right name” (as well as a pronunciation guide for anyone they might have trouble with).

It’s not always the easiest, but it isn’t unusual either. I can tell story after story of interesting ones too!

I tutor kids and one of them went by a nickname derived from his middle name, presumably because he shared his first name with his dad. I’m not sure how aware he was of his full name, since it didn’t ever come up. There was another kid who went by a totally different name from his legal name because I guess every male in his family was given the same name, and he (at age 8) was very aware of it.

I personally am Chae-Eun. Yes, with the capitalization and the hyphen and the impossible pronunciation. My parents didn’t guess I would go so internationally, though. My name is and utterly common Korean name. I go by [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] (or [name_f]Jessey[/name_f] or [name_u]Jess[/name_u], and the occasional [name_f]Jessa[/name_f]). It hasn’t caused big things, unless teachers always messing things up in attendance is one of them.

I know several people who go by their middle name and as far as I can tell, you teach it to them the same way you would a middle name, with the addition of letting them know that because it’s their “first” name, that’s what people will likely call them. On registers, like in school, when their first name is called, they can say “I prefer ___” or “I go by ___” and it should be simple enough :slight_smile: Unless they choose to go by their first name in school. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps!

A great number of the people in my life go by their middle names with no issue. Kids are smarter than most people give them credit for. They’ll catch on.

I know of several kids who go by their middle names because their first name is a name in their country (ie Ghana) and their middle name is an English name. I would make sure teachers and family know which name to use, but also teach your child that both names are part of him/her. My dad had gone by his middle name is whole life because his first was the same as his dad. He didn’t find out his name was [name_u]Glen[/name_u] until he started school at age 6!

My daughter is 2 and she knows her first and middle names. If I show a picture of her and ask “who is this?” she will say “[name_f]Noemi[/name_f] [name_f]Xochitl[/name_f]”. Her cousin in Mexico also responds to both names, because she is [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] [name_u]Andrea[/name_u], named [name_u]Andrea[/name_u] after her great grandmother. She responds to [name_u]Vivian[/name_u], [name_u]Andrea[/name_u], and Yeya (nickname for [name_u]Andrea[/name_u]).