Changing a name?

General Name Discussion
1

Okay, so I know a month or so ago there was a board about someone wanting to change their child’s name but I wanted to post my own topic on it. My friend hates her son’s name and wants to change it. He is 4 months old and she almost never calls him by his name, instead she usually calls him sweetheart, bubba or any other generic nickname. Whenever she is asked what his name is she feels ashamed to say it and hates it. She has told me that she feels ill from regret over the name. Her husband on the other hand loves the name. They have argued over changing the name and her husband tells her that it can’t happen. Her mother also says that she can’t change the name. She is afraid that she will always hate his name and love all her other children’s names. She was wanting to compromise by putting the name in the middle spot and choosing another name that they both love.

What can she do? Is there any way to compromise between her and her husband? Or should she suck it up and live with the name?

2

Does she like his middle name? Or can she at least tolerate the middle name? I think that’d be easier- to call the child by his middle name.

[name]How[/name] did she feel when she named him? Because if she and her husband agreed to it, and he still loves it, I don’t think it’s fair for one parent to pull rank and say, “I loved it then but not now. Change it.” when it was mutually agreed upon.
What about the name does she not like?

Peoples’ styles & tastes change, and I think parents (mothers, usually) don’t realize that until later on. I’ve seen an INSANE number of threads here about name regret. Now, I think a lot of posters here are faking so it’s normal for them to be like, “Shoot! I made up a story, but like a normal person, my tastes changed and I want a new name without having to invent a whole new character to play on this board” so they take the “I want to change my baby’s name” route. Seriously, I’ve never seen so many baby name change threads in my life, and I’ve been active on name boards for over 10 years.

Anyway, haha, if there’s a way for your friend to get a name she liked out of the existing name, either by a longer form if it’s something short (naming him [name]Finn[/name], calling him [name]Phineas[/name] or [name]Finley[/name]), a short form of the name (naming him [name]Donovan[/name] and calling him [name]Van[/name] or [name]Dov[/name]), or calling him by his middle name, a variation of the middle name, or his initials. Or playing on the meaning. They named him [name]Leonard[/name]- what about calling him [name]Lev[/name]?

I think totally unintuitive nicknames can be organic. Let’s say you name your kid [name]Jethro[/name] [name]Atticus[/name] or something, and it just doesn’t sit well with you after a while but your other half still loves it. It might be easier to call him [name]Jay[/name], [name]Jake[/name] or [name]Theo[/name], OR keep an eye out for things that remind you of him. Like… he looks like the baby version of an actor/character when he pouts, or something like that, and you just take the name of the character as a joke, and it sticks. As long as it sticks.
You don’t have to say, “His name is [name]Linus[/name]” (if he reminds you of this young, kind of shy version of [name]Humphrey[/name] [name]Bogart[/name] in [name]Sabrina[/name], and what’s what you’ve started calling him as a joke, maybe, and it turns out you love it more than his given name), but you can just as easily answer the question, “What’s his name?” with, “We call him [name]Linus[/name].” Not a lie :slight_smile:

3

I agree that there have been alot of name regret posts but unlike the above poster, I am sure all of them are real. These are a sign of the times, name regret is high on the rise and New Zealand just released information about this subject: Last year 61,400 babies were born and 762 legal name changes were submitted before the age of two, which averages out to 1 out of every 100 getting a name change. That is just an accounting of New Zealand’s records, I’m guessing that the US has similiar numbers, so if you do the math, there is a whole lot of name remorse going on. Things have changed in the baby naming arena, its not simple anymore like when our parents were expecting, they got a baby name book or just heard a name on a tv show, or amongst friends and named the child what they liked, they didn’t over think it. But the internet has changed all of that, baby naming sites have changed the dynamics of baby naming, too much information and pressure for parents to get it right. The blog by Abby this week, discusses this very subject.

As for your friend, this is something that her and her husband will have to work out. Four months is young enough to change a name, but her husband isnt going to allow it, so she doesnt seem to have that option.

4

I know many people [name]IRL[/name] who have regretted the name of their kid and ended up changing it when they were a couple of months old. Its seen as socially acceptable to do it these days so a lot of parents are taking the plunge and changing the name when they aren’t 100% sure it fits the baby.

Name changing isn’t something I’d personally do at any age, but 4mos is certainly young enough to change it, if her husband is agreeable. Though I’m not sure changing is possible if her husband isn’t willing to cooperate. Maybe a new nickname would help her deal with it?

5

I agree that there have been alot of name regret posts but unlike the above poster (lucialucentum), I am sure all of them are real. These are a sign of the times, name regret is high on the rise and New Zealand just released information about this subject: Last year 61,400 babies were born and 762 legal name changes were submitted before the age of two, which averages out to 1 out of every 100 getting a name change. That is just an accounting of New Zealand’s records, I’m guessing that the US has similiar numbers, so if you do the math, there is a whole lot of name remorse going on. Things have changed in the baby naming arena, its not simple anymore like when our parents were expecting, they got a baby name book or just heard a name on a tv show, or amongst friends and named the child what they liked, they didn’t over think it. But the internet has changed all of that, baby naming sites have changed the dynamics of baby naming, too much information and pressure for parents to get it right. The blog by [name]Abby[/name] this week, discusses this very subject.

As for your friend, this is something that her and her husband will have to work out. Four months is young enough to change a name, but her husband isnt going to allow it, so she doesnt seem to have that option.

6

I agree that there have been alot of name regret posts but unlike the above poster (lucialucentum), I am sure all of them are real. These are a sign of the times, name regret is high on the rise and New Zealand just released information about this subject: Last year 61,400 babies were born and 762 legal name changes were submitted before the age of two, which averages out to 1 out of every 100 babies getting a name change. That is just an accounting of New Zealand’s records, I’m guessing that the US has similiar numbers, so if you do the math, there is a whole lot of name remorse going on. Things have changed in the baby naming arena, its not simple anymore like when our parents were expecting, they got a baby name book or just heard a name on a tv show, or amongst friends and named the child what they liked, they didn’t over think it. But the internet has changed all of that, baby naming sites have changed the dynamics of baby naming, too much information and pressure for parents to get it right. The blog by [name]Abby[/name] this week, discusses this very subject.

As for your friend, this is something that her and her husband will have to work out. Four months is young enough to change a name, but her husband isnt going to allow it, so she doesnt seem to have that option.

7

I agree that there have been alot of name regret posts but unlike the above poster (lucialucentum), I am sure all of them are real. These are a sign of the times, name regret is high on the rise and New Zealand just released information about this subject: Last year 61,400 babies were born and 762 legal name changes were submitted before the age of two, which averages out to 1 out of every 100 babies getting a name change. That is just an accounting of New Zealand’s records, I’m guessing that the US has similiar numbers, so if you do the math, there is a whole lot of name remorse going on. Things have changed in the baby naming arena, its not simple anymore like when our parents were expecting, they got a baby name book or just heard a name on a tv show, or amongst friends and named the child what they liked, they didn’t over think it. But the internet has changed all of that, baby naming sites have changed the dynamics of baby naming, too much information and pressure for parents to get it right. The blog by [name]Abby[/name] this week, discusses this very subject.

As for your friend, this is something that her and her husband will have to work out. Four months is young enough to change a name, but her husband isnt going to allow it, so she doesnt seem to have that option.

8

4 months old… I would change it. Put name now in the middle spot. But it is tricky about the husband; the parent thing can suck it. Ha. Good luck to them!!!

9

I was thinking about this earlier with my son, [name]Nicolas[/name]. I really really did not like his name until he was nearly two. I never liked it before, but my husband loved it so much. When he was born, he really did look like a [name]Nicolas[/name] to me. I couldn’t change it. I wanted to, but just didn’t have the heart for it. I struggled a lot with post-partum depression until he was nearly one because I didn’t want to admit it to anyone. Looking back, I should have said something. Your friend may be struggling with ppd. That may be the true issue with the name. That is the most fun and most stressful part (in some ways) about being pregnant, and when that ends, the sleep deprivation begins, along with crying (mom and baby), diapers, and a new little person you are required to take care of and put yourself completely on the back burner. I think that dreaming of another name may be a way to cope with ppd. These are my thoughts based upon my own experience. I feel like I should have chosen a more unusual name, a more meaningful (to me) name, but ultimately I knew I couldn’t do it. It would have devastated my husband for one thing, but for another, he IS [name]Nicolas[/name]. He just is. He’s wonderful, and fun, and smart. Changing his name won’t change who he is. [name]Hope[/name] this helps. :confused: