I’m a female-to-male transgender person and I have mentioned that before but I doubt anyone would remember since I think my last thread on the topic was two years ago Anyway. Female-to-male means I was born biologically female but was diagnosed with gender dysphoria (mismatch between brain and body, previously known as Gender Identity Disorder) and am currently transitioning to male. And I don’t like sounding antagonistic but please don’t post if you’re going to be rude, I only say that because I have had rude comments on other forums (not on Nameberry!) before. Uh, so anyway, back when I first started to post here I think I was 14 or so years old. And back then, I was pretty set on the name [name_m]Colin[/name_m]. That was technically a nickname because I never legally changed my birth name. But the thing is, I’m not feeling the same connection I used to. I’ve grown emotionally and my personality has changed a fair bit so…I suppose I’m not such a [name_m]Colin[/name_m] anymore. And to be honest, it was more of a last resort because I couldn’t think up anything else.
I feel a little self-conscious posting the name I have in mind on here because I feel like it’s going to get negative reactions. Okay, well, I like the name [name_m]Alister[/name_m]. But to be honest, I think I like the spelling Allister better because I think [name_m]Alister[/name_m] might get mispronounced (like ay-lister or something :S) but for another reason too. When I was younger, it was one of my favorite names. I think it actually was my favorite name at one point. I have no idea where I got it from, I must have heard it on a TV show. I assume I misheard the name [name_m]Alistair[/name_m] but for years, I loved it even though I wasn’t sure if it was a real name and I’d spell it Allister because I assumed that’s how it was spelt. And I think that deep down, it was always a name I wanted for myself. I felt like it would’ve suited me had I been born male. It felt really special to me because it was like a secret that only I knew, I’d never heard anyone else mention the name so I assumed it was really unique, haha. I just like having something familiar since I’m going to be going through a lot in the next few years, I think it’ll be comforting. I’ll also be more used to it than any random name because it’s from my childhood and has a meaning to me. [name_m]Even[/name_m] when I wanted my name to be [name_m]Colin[/name_m], my middle name was to be [name_m]David[/name_m] and I’m going to keep it no matter what. I don’t think it suits me enough to go in the first name slot, you know?
And a lot of people suggest using a variation of my birth name and I’d really like to but I can’t. My first name is far too unisex and I don’t want to post it online because it’s fairly uncommon, I’d feel awkward if someone I hadn’t come out to stumbled across this. My middle name is [name_f]Louise[/name_f] and I love [name_m]Louis[/name_m] but not on me. It doesn’t go with any first names I like either.
Okay so, firstly does the name [name_m]Alister[/name_m] sound too made-up or just weird in general? And what about Allister? Would you assume it was a name someone had chosen for themselves? That’s a bad thing btw, I want it to sound like it was a name I was born with because I don’t plan on telling anyone I’m transgender except any future partners, close friends and family. I suppose in the end, which spelling I choose is up to me but I’d really like to know if [name_m]Alister[/name_m] or Allister is better? Thank you
My favourite spelling is [name_m]Alistair[/name_m], but I think [name_m]Alister[/name_m] or Allister both work fine - neither looks like something that’s been made up or a name that you had chosen. If you’re not fond of [name_m]Alistair[/name_m], I would go for [name_m]Alister[/name_m], it just looks neater to me and I don’t think there would be any issues with pronunciation. That being said, if you love Allister, I think it’s totally fine.
I agree with you, I like the look of Allister better, and it would most likely remove any potential doubts about pronunciation since it begins the same way as the more common [name_u]Allison[/name_u]. It’s fairly phonetic, so I don’t imagine you would have too much trouble with pronunciation to begin with though.
Allister certainly isn’t common, but I don’t think it’s completely unheard of either. [name_m]Alistair[/name_m] made the US top 1000 last year.
Thank you for the replies I’m still not too sure on the spelling, it seems [name_m]Alister[/name_m] is the more common spelling but I feel like Allister looks more complete? Or maybe overcrowded with that extra ‘l’, I haven’t decided yet I wonder if it matters at all since I assume most would be unfamiliar with the name anyway and would ask for the spelling. I actually think if others had to guess, they’d go with ‘Allister’ like I did…maybe I should ask people to spell it and see which they go for.
Oh and with [name_m]Alister[/name_m]/Allister looking like [name_u]Allison[/name_u], I was wondering about that before it was even brought up…does it sound masculine enough? I suppose what I’m trying to say is, would it be likely that anyone assumes it’s a female or unisex name?
I would always assume [name_m]Alister[/name_m]/Allister/[name_m]Alistair[/name_m]/[name_m]Alasdair[/name_m] etc to be a boys name. I think it’s a great name! [name_m]Alister[/name_m] and Allister are both perfectly acceptable spellings imo, although I would say [name_m]Alister[/name_m] might be more familiar to people, seeing as it’s the closest to the more common [name_m]Alistair[/name_m] spelling. I like your suggestion of getting people to spell it! I would totally do that to get an idea of the most commonly assumed spelling.
[name_m]Alasdair[/name_m] is the Scottish form of [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], so I daresay it’s masculine enough. I do think you’ll stand out a bit, as it’s a very unusual name for an American teenage boy. I like the Allister spelling the best from your options.
I understand why some trans people use variations on their birth names; I think it makes it easier on family and friends, and even on yourself since you don’t have to get used to a totally different name. However, I also understand the reasoning behind choosing a name very different from your birth name - sometimes hearing your birth name can cause dysphoric feelings. (Recently I’ve felt more dysphoria over being called by my birth name than being referred to with the wrong pronouns, which I never would have expected possible.)
I also completely relate to what you said about not wanting people to assume that you chose your own name! I really love unusual names, but in the end I chose a name from the top 50 for my birth year, and one of the biggest reasons is that I never wanted to be asked, “But what’s your real name?”
So on that note, while Allister/[name_m]Alister[/name_m] is a great name (and very clearly masculine!), it is quite uncommon, so to me it does feel more chosen than given. Having a unique name won’t necessarily out you, but the more unique it is, the more of a risk you’re taking. (However, I might be a bad person to ask. I really wanted to be on the safe side of this, so I may have gone too far in the opposite direction with [name_m]Sean[/name_m]. I crossed [name_m]Archer[/name_m] and [name_u]Quincy[/name_u] off my own list because they didn’t rank in 1992, but they’re on the charts now, so perhaps I’d have gotten away with either of them!)
One thing you could think about if you’re worried about the uncommonness of your name is finding a more common nickname to go by. Both [name_m]Al[/name_m] and [name_m]Alec[/name_m] would not raise any flags at all, and [name_m]Alec[/name_m] especially would feel very appropriate on someone your age.
Ultimately though, I think the most important thing is that you feel a connection to your name, and it sounds like you have that with Allister. (I like your spelling best, by the way!) It’s not a bad idea to keep exploring options, but don’t choose a name you can’t see yourself wearing and loving.
I, personally, wouldn’t assume [name_m]Alister[/name_m]/Allister is a female name. As for the spelling, I prefer the spelling [name_m]Alister[/name_m], it looks more simple than Allister. However, I think both spellings are usable. Best of luck to you!
Thank you for the replies I was initially worried when people started saying it was unusual/uncommon but my brother also has a very unheard of name so I feel like maybe I’m safe? My mom doesn’t like common names and prefers to “create her own spellings” so I don’t feel as bad, if you heard it with my brother’s name I think you’d just assume my mother chose both. I do think I’m going to go with the Allister spelling, to be honest. It’s just more familiar to me and I still prefer it ever so slightly. Thanks again!
I wouldn’t assume [name_m]Alister[/name_m] was a chosen name, and I don’t think there would be any issue with pronunciation! I wish you all the best in your transition
Edit: an ancestor of mine had a middle name Alister; the spelling is more in use than Allister, and definitely doesn’t come across as a chosen name.
Anyway. Female-to-male means I was born biologically female but was diagnosed with gender dysphoria (mismatch between brain and body, previously known as Gender Identity Disorder) and am currently transitioning to male. And I don’t like sounding antagonistic but please don’t post if you’re going to be rude, I only say that because I have had rude comments on other forums (not on Nameberry!) before. Uh, so anyway, back when I first started to post here I think I was 14 or so years old. And back then, I was pretty set on the name [name_m]Colin[/name_m]. That was technically a nickname because I never legally changed my birth name. But the thing is, I’m not feeling the same connection I used to. I’ve grown emotionally and my personality has changed a fair bit so…I suppose I’m not such a [name_m]Colin[/name_m] anymore. And to be honest, it was more of a last resort because I couldn’t think up anything else.