Choosing the name before or after the baby is born?

Obviously, we all spend a great deal of time pouring over names, looking at them from every which way, initials, nicknames, etc. But have you ever met someone and they didn’t fit their name? Like it was painful a bit to say it because they just so clearly seemed like someone else?

So nameberries (I know there was a blog of this), do you decide the name before the gender is known (if you decide to do that) OR gather a list of names of each and spend some time with the baby before hand?

Thanks in Advance!

I’ve never met someone who didn’t fit their name, but I’ve met a few who I felt would suit other names more.

Also, I don’t have any kids, but I know for sure that I don’t want to decide the name beforehand. I want a list of at least 2 names (hopefully a maximum of 3 so I’m not left deciding over them all) so then I can toss the names around and see which one fits him/her most.

My husband and I have already decided we don’t want to know the sex beforehand, so it’d be really tough to choose one, definite name for the baby. We already have a list of names (although it is still changing/evolving), so I think we will just have pool of names and pick one after spending some time with the baby.

Then again, I had a friend who just “knew” when she was pregnant. She had a dream about a name, and named her daughter that. It fits her perfectly now that shes 5.

My boyfriend refuses to do any ‘serious’ discussions until we know the sex - he can be coaxed into light discussions but I’m not pushing it, there’s no rush. We should hopefully find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl in less than a month, so I guess we’ll start in earnest then. Being an Icelander, he also refuses to entertain the possibility of making a final, concrete decision before birth, which I’m fine with. I expect we should be able to come up with one or two firm choices, and then probably will go with that / one of those (I’m not sure how it will go exactly, though), so I guess technically there is a possibility we will ‘decide the name’ before birth. However, it is important to him that we meet the baby before finalising anything. This is not important to me, I would happily pick a name before birth as I think most people tend to suit their names really. Plus newborn babies can and often do bear zero resemblance to the kid at 8 years old (no way anyone would recognise me from pictures of me at a few months old), and they hardly have personalities fresh out of the womb anyway. But it doesn’t bother me or anything so I’m fine to go with his way of doing things.

With our first baby, we didn’t finalize the name until a few hours after she was born. We went into the hospital with three first names (middle was already set) and figured that we would wait and see which one fit her best once she was born. Turns out, babies don’t really “look” like anything when they’re born. LOL. They’re just little gooey, screaming, nameless bundles. So we ended up going with the name I’d been favoring the last few weeks before giving birth and now that my daughter’s two, I can’t imagine her with any other name.

I’m currently pregnant with baby number two (a boy) and we’ve had the name picked out basically since conception. Not sure if that’s because having already named a child, picking a name doesn’t seem as daunting as it did the first time around or because boy names are just easier for my husband and I. I have been telling people that we’re 99% sure of the name, just because I like having the option of changing my mind at the last minute but honestly, I can’t really imagine calling this baby anything else then the name we’ve already chosen.

I would make a list of names and combo’s.
The moment you see the baby you can pick one from the list. simple…

I knew some mothers who gave their kids names but over looked some things:

One mother who really liked the Name [name_f]Sparrow[/name_f], her son was born but from the fathers side of the family there is a special kind of nose going on. The little kid is now 8 years old and his nose is living up to the name [name_f]Sparrow[/name_f]. Yes, that kid is a victim of bullying.

Than I know one African lady who named her son after one of her friends, he ended up with the name [name_m]Jack[/name_m]. We call him black [name_m]Jack[/name_m], but is he always win that game so… For him his name is a blessing in the end. But he had hard times at school.

Than I knew one Frisian girl named Tetta. She was very pretty and did had big boobs… She was bullied on the level where you start praying for that girl because of her name. [name_m]Tip[/name_m]: Always google check the name first!

In [name_u]London[/name_u] I met a dutch girl with the name [name_u]Puck[/name_u], she had no life with that name over there! Same goes with the name [name_f]Fenne[/name_f]…

Than I had once a lawyer with the name [name_f]Peaches[/name_f], I could not take her serious and ask for another one with a more ‘‘classic’’ name.

I met once a really cute boy with the name [name_u]Tracy[/name_u], In some area’s they use it as a boy’s name… I couldn’t see myself dating a [name_u]Tracy[/name_u] and explaining too people i’m not a lesbian and his parents aren’t idiots. And many of the girls he liked had the same problem! They liked him, but hated the name and it was a big struggle in reality. Poor kid.

With names Like [name_f]Hazel[/name_f], [name_f]Agatha[/name_f], [name_f]Marny[/name_f], [name_f]Thea[/name_f], [name_f]Ethel[/name_f]. People will always comment like: After which grandmother are you called? And if you say none. People will react, Aw poor thing! You will grow in too your name when your 60 and older. Take your time…

My husband has a friend who called his son [name_m]Adolf[/name_m]. I still find it hard to invite him over for play dates. :-s

Than you got the nickname names, met once a guy with the name [name_m]Richard[/name_m] but he really lived up too his nickname ‘[name_m]Dick[/name_m]’. And little [name_m]Phineas[/name_m] became Pe.nish. Some, country’s :-s

With names like [name_f]Precious[/name_f], [name_f]Princess[/name_f], [name_f]Peaches[/name_f], [name_f]Delphine[/name_f], [name_m]Apollo[/name_m], your hoping that there is a model looking person walking in too the room. But it becomes a sad story when the person doesn’t live up to heir name. Met once a [name_f]Delphine[/name_f] who lives on a trailer park.

Then we got the spelling bee names like, [name_f]Emmalee[/name_f], [name_m]Dafydd[/name_m], Kaytlynn, [name_f]Jazzmyn[/name_f]. Im a job hunter and I can tell you that it is really hard too find jobs for people with that kind of names. A little secret: We are often ashamed to introduce them too company’s because it make us look like fools!

I know I’m harsh when it comes too names, but with my job I met many people who where struggling in life because of their names. Calling your baby [name_f]Princess[/name_f] Tiaami is cool when your a celeberty and you doesn’t need to work. Not cool when your not famous or rich.

I don’t have any children yet, but at this point, I feel like I’d try to have a decision made, and have a clear favorite, but if I just intuitively knew that he/she wasn’t an [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] or [name_m]Caleb[/name_m], for example, I would have a back-up list of 2 or 3 other options I (we) really liked. That way, I wouldn’t be grasping for straws. :slight_smile: Hopefully. I really have no clue what I’d do when it got down to it–especially when putting a future SO’s opinions into the works. It might be nearly impossible to pick ONE name, much less have a small list. :slight_smile:

When I was pregnant with my first we had one boys name and one girls name picked out. After she was born, I burst into tears because she didn’t “look” like the name I had picked. Fast forward to many panicked hours because I didn’t have any back up names. They kept coming back every few hours pressuring me to sign the birth certificate but I couldn’t with no name.

I learned my lesson and the next time I brought 3 boys names and 3 girls names. Once I got to hold them and look at them it became obvious which name to choose!

I have definitely met people who didn’t feel like they fit their name. I have about 20 combos that SO and I both like, but when it comes to naming an actual child, we’ll probably go to the hospital with 3 for each gender, and spend some time with baby before deciding. One of my friends took a month to name her daughter! I don’t think it would take me that long, but I would like to take some time. If baby is a screamer, for example, [name_f]Felicity[/name_f] feels off, too peaceful. If baby is a deep sleeper, [name_f]Petra[/name_f] feels too stormy.

In the south and midwest (where I live) we monogram (initials) and put full names on everything. I’ll probably pick a name before the baby is born just because I know my family will want to know, so they can put his/her name on stuff. lol!

To answer the other part, I have met some people who did not fit their first names at all. Most of those people went by their middle names, but I was always surprised to find out their first names. I have a few friends with the first name [name_f]Mary[/name_f], but they [name_f]DO[/name_f] NOT look like a [name_f]Mary[/name_f]. Thankfully, they go by their middle names [name_f]Katie[/name_f] ([name_f]Katherine[/name_f]) and [name_u]Nikki[/name_u] ([name_f]Nicole[/name_f]) which suit them much better.

We go in with a short list of 3 names of each sex (the top 2 being heavily favoured). Often my husband’s favourite was different than mine. Once baby was born, each time (3 kids for us) we were able to choose a name within an hour. The first baby, my favourite totally did not fit and husband’s favourite was perfect (I would never have guessed prior to meeting her). The second baby, the name was apparent as soon as his stocky, strong frame presented itself. And same with baby #3. She came out and we knew her name (it was my favored one).

We love the surprise of both the sex and the name. As an aside, I’ve always loved the name [name_f]Rose[/name_f] for a girl. [name_m]Alas[/name_m], each girl popped out and they were obviously NOT Roses. We’re done having kids now, so we just named our puppy that 6 months ago. Hahahaha.

Best of luck!

With all 3 of my babes we had a fairly good idea of what the names would be (knew we were having a girl each time) but waited until they had arrived to ‘confirm’. I’m not good at committing before I absolutely have to!

We waited to see their little faces first, but not sure why… all newborns look like scrunched up little things to me! I don’t think you can see a personality and apply a name to that little face.

I have mixed feelings on this. I had two boys, then a girl. With both of the boys hubby and I had a lot of names we agreed on, and it was pretty easy to come up with a list of top 3 combinations. I think for each boy we went into the hospital with 2 options. Still, it took 2 days to name our second one and that was only because a nurse came in and said we had 5 minutes to name him. With each boy I did feel strongly about one name, it just took a couple days to convince hubby with #2. I like this method, because I like seeing the baby before naming them. With our daughter we named her before she was born. I do not like this method at all, since it is important to me to see the baby first. However, we had a very difficult time agreeing on any girls names at all! We named her [name_f]Hannah[/name_f], which was her oldest brothers suggestion, and we just couldn’t bear to take it off the list. By the time she was born she had been [name_f]Hannah[/name_f] to us for quite some time, and she didn’t look like any of the other names we had suggested in the beginning (and weren’t really talking about anymore anyway). So, I’ve done it both ways, I prefer to see the baby, but I don’t think there’s a wrong way to do it. To each their own! :slight_smile: