Both Cielle and [name_f]Celine[/name_f] relate to the “sky; heavens”. This baby is a gift from heaven. Siblings names rank in top 300 according to the SSA website.
13 yo niece’s middle name is [name_f]Selene[/name_f] which has a different spelling and meaning than [name_f]Celine[/name_f]. She and her mom asked that we not use a variant of her middle name. Would you honor her request and comply? They live in another state and we only see them 1x/yr.
[name_f]My[/name_f] heart’s desire is to name my girl [name_f]Celine[/name_f] because it’s more recognizable and has a musical connection, but we don’t want name conflict and aim for family peace.
I personally think the stipulation that’s been placed on you is unreasonable. It’s the nieces middle name, fair enough if it were her first. But honestly, only you know your family and how much grief it’s likely to cause, and whether on balance it’s worth it. If [name_f]Celine[/name_f] is the name you love (I much prefer it to Cielle), I think it’s worth a convo with the family members involved to explain how much it matters to you. And then whatever the reaction, it’s up to you what you do after that. I personally feel a bad reaction about this from people you see so infrequently is very much a ‘them’ problem, but see what happens. Best of luck
Like why should you forgo the name that is your hearts desire in your words, because a very distant family member who you barely see has a homophonic middle name that 99% of people she meets will never even know about? Seems a bit controlling.
[name_m]Ah[/name_m], this is tough! Did you explicitly ask your niece / her mom about using [name_f]Celine[/name_f]? [name_u]Or[/name_u] did you just mention using [name_f]Celine[/name_f] in passing and they requested that you not use it?
If the former, I think it would be a bit awkward and contentious to use it anyway after specifically asking. For the latter, I would probably still use it. They’re free to request anything they want, but you’re also free to deny requests that you find unreasonable.
That said, I’m a bit of a peacemaker in general…is this likely to cause a significant family rift or would any tension pass quickly? It doesn’t sound as if you’re particularly close, but I would probably hesitate if I thought other family members would get involved or it would require frequent defense of my actions for years down the line. Is the name worth possible family strife? There’s no right answer here – just a few things for you to ponder while making your decision! Best of luck, [name_f]Celine[/name_f] and Cielle are both very nice!
@VEL makes some excellent points and I tend to agree with @Lula-Rose that the request is unreasonable. If there were sensitive reasons behind the request, that would be another matter, but from the information you’ve provided it reads as name ownership.
The challenge here is that you have asked for their feelings on using the name. This indicates a willingness to consider their feelings. It also feeds into the misconception of name ownership and puts pressure on you to comply with their request.
However, it sounds like you didn’t mean to ask for their permission to use the name. It sounds like you wanted to give them the courtesy of knowing you were using the name in case it brought up any feelings. You didn’t think it actually would bring up feelings or that they would ask you not to use it.
If you do decide to use the name, you can absolutely say you changed your mind. You can say your actual intention was to inform them out of courtesy and nothing else. You can say that whilst you considered their thoughts, you still came to the decision to use the name. In other words, you aren’t bound by that earlier conversation.
It’s up to you to determine if using the name is worth any family conflict. You might be in the right but that doesn’t necessarily make it the right path for you. That’s completely understandable. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.
Is Selene something she uses in daily life - as in, does she go by [firstname] Selene, or Selene in general? If not, I think it might be worth raising it again, explaining the different meanings and why the name matters so much to you.
I personally couldn’t be doing with the conflict knowing my family, and would look for something else, but I would say it’s worth talking it through again?
No, they rarely use her middle name. When my sister in law does, she pronounces it in Spanish which is completely different in sound than the [name_u]French[/name_u] pronunciation.