So, there’s probably those of you who will tell me I’m stupid or go “seriously” but please don’t. This is my first baby.
My confession: I’m scared I won’t know when I first start going into labor and I might wait to long to go to the hospital.
My reason: My mother was that way. She was in that beginning part of labor for something like 24 hours with mild contractions that were sort of irregular. She didn’t know she was in labor, felt to her like nothing she said. “Mildly uncomfortable like gas” was her words. She finally went to the doctor and was like 4 cm dilated and they took her to the hospital. I’m worried it’ll be that way for me and my hospital is 30 minutes or so away. I don’t know what contractions feel like and the 2 or 3 [name]Braxton[/name]-Hicks ones I’ve felt were nothing. They barely felt uncomfortable.
So, reassure me? Tell me about your own labor, give me something positive, whatever. I just need some support.
I was told not to come into the hospital before there was 5 minutes between contractions, and they felt strong. I had had contractions for about a week when that happened. I was almost four centimeters dilated at the last check up before my baby came, and I was told not to worry, that’s completely normal and it could still be days before she came. However, we live in central [name]London[/name], it took us five minutes to get to the hospital. That’s very different, and here in [name]England[/name] hospitals aren’t interested in having mothers hanging out long before and after birth. I know women who’s been sent home because their contractions were too far apart or they weren’t dilated enough.
My contractions were horrible, I really hated them. I know people are different, but they could not be mistaken for anything else. As for the labour itself, it wasn’t half as bad as I imagined it to be. It made me feel very strong and I have no fears about doing it again.
[name]How[/name] long is it left now? 2 months or so? The contractions will probably be worse as you get closer to your due date (not to freak you out, sweetie!).
4cm dilated is an excellent amount of progress to make before showing up at the hospital.
For most women labor doesn’t come on like a thunderclap, it’s a slow and steady build-up. You’re experiencing [name]Braxton[/name]-Hicks contractions now, and they will intensify and come more frequently toward the end. Many women do make a modest amount of cervical change with them alone. As ottilie said, once they’re five minutes apart and intense enough that you ave difficulty walking, speaking, doing anything else through them, that’s when you should head in. Here I do not speak from personal experience since I never went into labor spontaneously.
The night before my son was born, just after midnight, I started having little contractions. I had [name]Braxton[/name]-Hicks contractions before and these felt only slightly different. I remember telling my hubby that “this might be it”. I wasn’t sure though and we went to sleep. I woke up in the morning and they were still there, so I felt more sure that this was labour. Suddenly around 7:00 am while my hubby was just starting to wake up, the contractions got a heck of a lot worse really quickly. We rushed to the hospital and I was in a panic that I was going to have my son in our truck. When we got to the hospital I was getting mad because the nurses were taking their time finding me a room and getting me checked out. I was convinced I was going to have my son while the nurses were still dallying about. Lol. [name]Little[/name] did I know, my water didn’t break and I was still a good 5-6 hours away from actual delivery.
Anyway, I wouldn’t worry. Odds are you will have a plenty of time, even if you aren’t sure at first whether its actual labour or not.
As a side note, like others have said, being four cm dilated before arriving at the hospital is fine. I was 2-3 cm dilated for a few weeks before even going into labour.
I tried to do as much as my labour at home, for my own comfort and peace, so I waited until my contractions were 5 minutes apart and almost unbearably strong before going to hospital. When I got there, I was examined and told I was only 4cm (I was expecting at least 6-7cm) and couldn’t believe it.
When you can barely function when having one is the time to go in. [name]Trust[/name] me, when you are admitted to the hospital you’ll want to leave as soon as you can so you should spend as much time as possible in the comfort and tranquillity of your own home. Have a bath, turn on some relaxing music, anything that will keep you calm. The hospital procedure is so impersonal and generic that you’ll be grateful for the few hours you spent at home instead.
Knowing when you are in labor is actually surprisingly complicated. I’ll be honest, with my first I totally thought I knew what contractions felt like until I actually went into labor and even then I didn’t realize what was going on. My contractions didn’t ever really get consistent. I would have 4 or 5 contractions 3 min apart and then my body would take a break for 20 mins. I decided to go to the hospital after I had been up all night and I was nervous about getting to the hospital in time (I had been having contractions on and off for like 16 hours) I was 4 cm dilated. It took another 6 hours to get fully dilated (still not very consistent contractions) and another 2.5 hours of pushing to get the baby out. Was your mom at the hospital long before you were born? I would say getting to the hospital at 4 cm is plenty safe.
I have had two babies since then and it is still hard for me to tell if I am really in labor. I had consistent contractions (8 min apart for over 3 hours) a couple times a week before my daughter was born and then they would just stop. For my last baby I went into the hospital 6 days past my due date because I had been having contractions all night long. I was only 3 cm along and they couldn’t pick up the contractions on the monitor. I was sent home. My husband practically dragged me back to the hospital 4 hours later and I was at 6.5 cm.
If you are really worried, go to the hospital. Also, not to trivialize your fears, but I believe it is very rare (some would say lucky) for a first time labor to be so painless and fast that you do not get to the hospital in time. Good luck.
I’m surprised your hospital let you push for 2.5 hours, @skarbassoona. When it began to approach the hour mark of pushing for me I was basically told I had about 15 minutes to get her out myself or they would have to interfere with either forceps of vbac because pushing for such a long time was bad for baby.
@pinkballerina the typical “limit” for the second stage is four hours before people get antsy, due to ample data demonstrating adverse fetal outcomes after that point.
Thanks for explaining, [name]Blade[/name]. Maybe it was my particular hospital and or/how my baby was reacting to the pushing that called for them only letting me push for just over an hour.
[name]Hi[/name] Dantea! Please don’t feel silly or stupid. I am going through the same thing right now! I am due with my first baby in 12 days (but who’s counting! ha) and have been stressing out myself. I’m 2cm dilated and 50% effaced and my mother had some super fast labors (5 hours with my brother and 2 1/2 hours with me). I also live a good bit away from the hospital. My rule of thumb is to call the hospital or go in if the contractions become so painful i can’t talk through them and have been consistent for at least an hour or two. My doctor thinks I will go into labor in the next week or so and it does feel like my body is doing practice runs. I typically have some pretty intense BH contractions for a little while, and then they will stop for several hours or the rest of the day. But i’ve noticed the BH coming more frequently and with more intensity during the last week or so. I had one this morning that caused me to double over. I was so excited that this was it! and then no more contractions for the rest of the day =( The end of pregnancy can be kind of a mind game.
So I’m sorry I don’t have any definitive advice, but know that you’re not alone! Being a first time mama is scary, we have no idea what to expect and everyones experience is different. [name]Don[/name]'t hesitate to call your provider or the hospital, that’s what they’re there for!
Wishing you a happy and healthy last month of pregnancy =)
Who is your healthcare provider? You should be able to call him/her to ask or confirm about things that you may be feeling that you think might be labor. He/She will tell you in your appointments closest to your due date the signs to look out for and when to call.
I used a fantastic doula, and when I wasn’t sure if it was really labor or not, I called her at 3am to describe the feelings. She was great about checking in with me on the hour, and she directed me as to when to check into the hospital to deliver. (She actually advised not to go in right away. She recommended eating a protein-filled breakfast if I could, that my husband should take a shower, and that I drink as much as I could, since once admitted the doctor probably wouldn’t let me eat/drink…)
I highly recommend a doula if you are looking for extra support, advice, hand-holding, and strength, especially if this is your first birth.
I didn’t go into labor naturally so I have no personal experience with it, but from what I’ve heard from friends is that you “just know” when it’s time. I know that’s really obnoxious to hear when you just want answers, but it’s true. Most OB’s will want to see you every week at the end of pregnancy and they check you to see how dilated/effaced you are. They can generally tell how close you are to delivery just by a quick exam.
Hey there. I haven’t read through everyone else’s comments, but I thought I’d share my story cause it is similar to your mother’s. My contractions started at 6:00 am, but I had no idea they were contractions. I thought it was indigestion for the first few hours. I had contractions that sent me running to the bathroom every hour or so for a while. I really thought it was some sort of stomach bug till I noticed a bit of a pattern forming. The pain wasn’t really that bad for most of the day. Eventually in the evening the contractions got a little more regular and were around 10-15 minutes apart. My doctor told me to wait to come in till 4-1-1. 4 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour. After they had been 4 minutes apart for 30 minutes I went ahead and called the hospital and got ready to go. When I got there at 3:30 am, they told me I was between 8 and 9 cm. (by the way, laboring at home is so much nicer than at the hospital) It took 2 1/2 hours after I got to the hospital for my son to be born. So my labor was 24 hours total. Oh and my water never broke on its own. They did that at the hospital. Your early labor may be a bit hard to distinguish, but it should start getting regular a while before your baby is ready to be born. But every woman and every delivery is different. I had a friend whose water broke first. She had no contractions before that. Her labor ended up being very difficult. She needed pain meds, and they had to use the forceps toward the end. I didn’t ever feel the need for meds. It was definitely painful for the last 3 hours or so, but not so much that I couldn’t stand it. My back injuries and knee surgery were worse. I hope your labor goes smoothly. And remember it never hurts to call the hospital, or even go in to labor and delivery if you think it’s time. They are there to help, and all the nurses I’ve met there are very nice. I’ve gone in twice this pregnancy already because I was worried that my baby wasn’t moving enough. They told me in both cases that coming in was the right thing to do, and it’s always better to be on the safe side. Good luck!
I had a conversation about pregnancy/birth with a couple of cousins recently and they came to the conclusion that women generally don’t experience pregnancy or birth the same way their mother did. For example, one of my cousins had terrible morning sickness her entire pregnancy - before she got pregnant her mum said she’d have no troubles because she was never sick. Same with labour. Totally different scenarios. I can’t really give advice, but I can tell you that, just because your mother didn’t know she was properly in labour, doesn’t mean it’ll happen to you like that!
I think its better to stay home as long as possible anyway, especially for a 1st baby. I had a pretty good labor going at home, string, but manageable contractions for hours, and my husband was getting antsy, even though I wanted to stay home longer. Sure enough, as soon as I got to the hospital, like most women, I started getting more antsy, nervous, excited, adrenaline-rushed and the contractions weakened a lot. I didn’t have the kind of contractions that I actually had to breathe or think my way through until 11 hours after I first started having regular contractions, when my water was broken.
I really wished I had stayed home longer, which most likely would have meant quicker progress, since I was more comfortable there.
Really, even after the contractions start ramping up and hurting, you usually have a few more hours to go, so I definitely don’t think you’ll miss the hospital with your first baby. When you’ve had a few, then you might need to worry.
The early contractions like your mom were having are normal. I didn’t feel the early contractions with my first at all, even though when I went in to be induced (he was past the due date) they told me I was having them. It didn’t even feel like gas, I felt nothing at all. It’s the active labor contractions that are really intense. REALLY INTENSE. There’s no mistaking those, because you really can’t talk through them. They hurt a lot while you’re going through them. You’re stomach will tighten while you’re going through them. Also the tightening you feel can be just in your stomach, or in your stomach and your lower and/or upper back as well. I didn’t feel it in my back at all this time, only in my belly, even in active labor. If you feel something like that, go to the hospital.They prefer you time the contractions and wait to go until they’re like 5 minutes apart but it won’t hurt anybody’s feelings if you play it safe and show up early because you’re not sure. The Labor & Delivery [name]Staff[/name] have seen it all, and they’ll understand how a first time mom would be scared. They’ll be sympathetic. [name]Don[/name]'t feel silly because this is your first time around, if you don’t know something, ASK! Ask as many questions as you want. If you’re not sure about the answer you are given, ask some more.
I appreciate all these responses! This is why I love talking with you ladies. [name]Ottilie[/name] – I’m 34 weeks so about a month.
The reason I was worried about my moms labor was because so far, we’ve had pretty similar pregnancies. Neither of us had much morning sickness, neither of us had much discomfort (my only discomfort is that my breasts are so large they hurt my ribs!), etc. The only real difference is that she gained like 30 pounds and I’ve only gained about 15. So I was worried we might end up with similar labors.
Someone asked how long my mom was in the hospital before giving birth. She went in after that pretty much solid day of thinking it was nothing. She said her and her friend were driving around and she decided to stop at a general practitioners office on a wim and the nurse who looked at her said she was in labor. After she got to the hospital at like 4 or 5 cm dilated, she was only there something like 4 more hours before I was born. She said they never got enormously intense and that the part that “hurt like hell” was the pushing.
I really do appreciate it. This morning, I thought she might have shifted further down in my belly because the top of my belly isn’t as hard as it’s been, but I know that doesn’t always happen. I think I’m wishful thinking because it feels like this will never end and I’m so ready for it to be over!
Thank you all so much! [name]Feel[/name] free to keep sharing your experiences if you’d like. I enjoy reading them and they make me feel better.
