Connecting an Adopted Child to the Family Part II

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions of names that are variations of my parents, [name]Lawrence[/name] [name]Cabot[/name] and [name]Gertrude[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name]. I should have mentioned that her current name is Almaz. She is from Ethiopia. I want to keep Almaz in there somewhere but I don’t really want it as her first name because to me it doesn’t really roll off the tongue very well. It’s pronounced All-moz. But at the same time, if her birth mother gave it to her (which I won’t ever know for sure) it is important to me to keep it in there somewhere.

So, here are my questions…

  1. Are three names too many? Someone suggested [name]Lauren[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] to honor both of my parents. I really like that a lot but is [name]Lauren[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] Almaz too long? I was thinking I could call her [name]Leah[/name] for short since my last name begins with an H.

  2. [name]Eliza[/name], [name]Bethany[/name], [name]Lawrence[/name], [name]Lorelai[/name], [name]Ellery[/name]… so many great suggestions! Does [name]Lorelai[/name] sound like a pet’s name? I like it a lot but for some reason I think someone I knew had a german shephard by that name so I just want to check if that is my own issue. :slight_smile:

  3. I know someone named [name]Loren[/name] who I am no longer really friends with… do you think if I name my child [name]Lauren[/name] that I will think of this ex-friend all the time or will I eventually not associate the name with her?

  4. Should I throw the whole family recognition thing out the window and just go with one of these other names I really like:

[name]Naomi[/name]
[name]Quinn[/name]
[name]Brook[/name]/[name]Brooklyn[/name]
[name]Courtney[/name]
[name]Alexis[/name]
[name]Charlotte[/name]/[name]Charlie[/name]
[name]Danielle[/name]/[name]Dannie[/name]
[name]Faith[/name]
[name]Grace[/name]
[name]Harper[/name]
[name]Jordyn[/name]
[name]Meredith[/name]
[name]Melanie[/name]
[name]Madison[/name]
[name]Madelyn[/name] (another variation on spelling?)
[name]Rachel[/name]
[name]Ruby[/name]
[name]Tess[/name]

AAAAARGHHHH ! I am driving myself crazy!

Thanks for helping out this new single mom!

  1. Are three names too many? To me, no. I think that Almaz is beautiful, by the way, and I think it’s great that you’ll be keeping it!

  2. [name]Eliza[/name], [name]Bethany[/name], [name]Lawrence[/name], [name]Lorelai[/name], [name]Ellery[/name]: [name]Lorelai[/name] doesn’t sound like a pet’s name (at all) to me, but if it does to you, that’s important!

  3. I know someone named [name]Loren[/name] who I am no longer really friends with: If you have negative feelings about the [name]Loren[/name] you knew, it may not be the best idea to use [name]Lauren[/name]. You may forget about the ex-friend, or you may regret using the name.
    I think it’s great to choose a name with a clean slate, and you have so many great names on your list! What about [name]Laurel[/name] instead of [name]Lauren[/name]? [name]Lauren[/name] is very trendy/popular, so perhaps [name]Laurel[/name] could be another way of honoring your dad.

  4. Should I throw the whole family recognition thing out the window and just go with one of these other names I really like: I thought it was a great idea, but if you no longer like the idea, you need to do what makes you comfortable. Either way, I hope you find a name you love!

From your list of names, my favorites are [name]Charlotte[/name], [name]Tess[/name], [name]Ruby[/name], and [name]Madeline[/name] (the [name]Madelyn[/name] spelling looks trendy to me). I love [name]Naomi[/name] and [name]Grace[/name], too, and wish [name]Grace[/name] weren’t so popular!

Whatever you choose, good luck! :slight_smile:

[name]Hi[/name], there!

  1. I don’t think that [name]Lauren[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] Almaz H. is too long, per se, but that is personal preference. I’m actually a [name]Lauren[/name] [name]Elyse[/name], so pretty similar! I adore the [name]LEAH[/name] idea for her initials - how cute!

  2. I associate [name]Lorelei[/name] (or [name]Lorelai[/name]) with the TV show [name]Gilmore[/name] Girls, so, to me, I can’t really picture it on a pet. But, if you happen to know one, I’d scrap [name]Lorelei[/name]. My favorite name off of the “great suggestions” list is [name]Eliza[/name]…

  3. No, I don’t think you will think of your ex-friend [name]Loren[/name] every time you say or hear the name [name]Lauren[/name] - you will be thinking of your daughter! It all comes down to who is most important in your life, and that would be your daughter now, not some ex-best friend.

  4. I don’t think you need to use family names to connect your adopted child to your biological family. Personally, I’m not a fan of looking at adoption that way - she IS your family, whether you are blood related or not, and I don’t think she needs a family name to prove it. But, that’s just my opinion. I think, in the end, you need to realize what is most important to you - if you are sacrificing using a name you love just to get a family name in there, then I think you could be doing something you might regret…

Of your list of favorites, these are my favorites! It depends on your last name, though, too…

[name]Naomi[/name]
[name]Quinn[/name]
[name]Charlotte[/name]/[name]Charlie[/name]
[name]Harper[/name]
[name]Meredith[/name]
[name]Ruby[/name]

The best with Almaz, in my opinion, are - [name]Naomi[/name] Almaz, [name]Meredith[/name] Almaz, and [name]Ruby[/name] Almaz. Some might say [name]Meredith[/name] is “dated,” but I disagree - I think it is my favorite off the list!

Good luck! :slight_smile:

I like [name]Naomi[/name] Almaz the best. The other options are nice too. It is so special that you will keep her current name Almaz. It’s so pretty!

Almaz

I wonder if you would consider using [name]Almira[/name] instead of Almaz because it has a lovely flow and sounds so feminine with a great meaning. It is also very close in look to Almaz.

See below for info on [name]Almira[/name]

The girl’s name [name]Almira[/name] \a-lmi-ra, al-mira\ is a variant of Almera (Arabic) and [name]Elmira[/name] (Arabic), and the meaning of [name]Almira[/name] is “aristocratic lady, princess”.

lighow, I think it’s an excellent idea to include your daughter’s Ethiopian name as well as a name from your family in her name. My husband and I adopted 7 children (all now grown up) from Korea and Vietnam. [name]Just[/name] like our two birth children, each of our adopted children has a family name along with the name that we chose for them. However, we didn’t include the names they were called in their birth countries because at the time we were adopting the emphasize was on “Americanizing” the children and the vast majority of parents didn’t retain the original (or orphanage) name. (Boy did we have a lot to learn!)

I think it’s fine to use three names: lots of parents – non-adoptive as well as adoptive – are doing that now for various reasons. You might want to use a name from your list of favorites for her first name, a family name for the second and Almaz for the third. (Eg., [name]Grace[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] Almaz LN.) I think including an adopted child’s original name acknowledges ALL of the child’s life, including the months/years before the child was adopted. With an internationally adopted child, including the name from the child’s birth culture/language indicates that that heritage is always part of the child’s story too. (I don’t think it matters if the name the child is known by in her birth country was given to her by her birth mother or an orphanage or adoption worker: it still is the name she was known by before she became your daughter.)

And no, I wouldn’t throw out the family recognition in her name. Have you considered giving your daughter your first or middle name as her middle name? (Eg. [name]Grace[/name] YOUR-NAME Almaz LN)We did that with our first adopted daughter and son, our 3rd. and 4th children – each has our first name as their middle name. We felt that would be important because they would have a clear tie to us, just as their older sister and brother did through birth. For our son, it has always been a special connection to have his father’s name [name]David[/name] as his middle name, and he named his first son [name]David[/name] too.

Best wishes to you and your daughter!

Or, you could name her [name]Leah[/name], and she would have everyone’s initials in her name.

I don’t think that [name]Lauren[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] Almaz H____ is too long at all! Myself, most of my family and all of my children have two middle names, and it has never been a problem.

Perhaps you could try naming her [name]Lauren[/name] and if, after a couple of weeks, you are thinking of your ex-friend whenever you say the name, then you could swap thinks around and call her [name]Elizabeth[/name]. I don’t think you will think of the friend, though, as the name will quickly become primarily associated with your daughter. There was a Nameberry blog post a while back about using the name of an ex-boyfriend - that could help you decide :slight_smile:

I adore [name]Leah[/name]!

I think the family connection is a nice idea. [name]Both[/name] of our adopted children have one name to honour family, and it really helped me feel as though we had thoroughly meshed them into the family unit, so to speak. That said, it would be better to use a name which you really love than feel obliged to use family names.

[name]How[/name] about another [name]Al[/name]- name to honour Almaz, if you would like to keep it in first place? I adore the suggestion of [name]Almira[/name], and one of my middle name is [name]Alice[/name], and so I am biased towards that, too.

Good luck!

With a middle beginning with al, I wouldn’t want an el/elle ending - no [name]Danielle[/name], and unfortunately no [name]Laurel[/name]. Also for sound issues, I’d rule out [name]Eliza[/name] Almaz. In those cases, the more ordinary [name]Elizabeth[/name] and [name]Lauren[/name] sound better. Or how about [name]Elise[/name] instead of [name]Eliza[/name]? [name]Don[/name]'t like [name]Ellery[/name] or [name]Alexis[/name] in this case, either. [name]Tess[/name] would too easily blend into a middle name with a vowel. So maybe [name]Elise[/name] isn’t so good.

I -really- don’t like having the initials spell out another name. Too cutesy for me. [name]Leah[/name] as a name works as well as most of the others.

Sorry, I seem to be mostly shooting down names. [name]Haven[/name]'t got the hang of advising people with different naming styles and principles from mine.

You are doing well, your critique on the names was very good.

3 names is definitely not too many, especially for an adopted child. They have more of a story to tell with their names.

We adopted our daughter through open domestic newborn adoption. We gave her the name I loved since I was 8, a family middle name, and her 2nd middle name we asked her birthmom to choose. To top it off, I hyphenated my last name when I got married and we gave her the hyphenated last name, so she has 5 names with 32 total letters. People call us crazy but they all have such important meanings, we don’t regret it at all.

We are in process of adopting from Ethiopia and plan to do the same thing, a first name, family middle name, and then keep their Ethiopian name as a 2nd middle name.

  1. I do think 3 names is too many.
  2. I don’t think [name]Lorelai[/name] is a pet’s name.
  3. [name]Lauren[/name] is nice and I think you’ll be fine, but does it really go with Almaz? (I think not, JMO.)
  4. You should do what you think is best, and what you want to do. [name]Don[/name]'t let anyone pressure you.

The important thing is keeping her identity intact while making her name feel native to your family. My favorite suggestion was [name]Naomi[/name] Almaz. You love the name [name]Naomi[/name], and that’s important. It’s Hebrew (biblical), so not entirely unheard of in [name]Africa[/name] I’m sure. Actually it sounds kinda close to [name]Nairobi[/name]. But I digress.

To me [name]Naomi[/name] seems like a great liaison between her roots and her new family. Grandma and Grandpa will always be in her life, and that’s infinately more important than a namesake.