cw: mental illness
[name_f]Pearl[/name_f] [name_f]Elise[/name_f] Milligan {43} is Arrow’s bio mother and godsister to her adoptive mother. Though her and Arrow’s relationship has since been simplified to and ‘aunt and niece’ type. Which she is more than enough for her since she considers it a privilege to be in her life at all.
Growing up was tough for her, between the her parents and their ‘not exactly rocky but far from perfect’ marriage. Her family never really noticed her mental struggles, writing her off as ‘creative’ and ‘different’ in her childhood. Her respite from strife came in the form of her godmother and godsister who always welcomed her with open arms when she needed a safe space away from her homelife.
She chose to opt out from college, much to her parents disappointment. Instead she poured her time and money into doing a lot of mixed media art which helped keep her mental health somewhat stable, though she was often victim to the self-harming behaviors that mental illness, particularly schizophrenia. One of these behaviors included taking risks in her social life which would eventually lead to her conceiving [name_u]Arrow[/name_u].
Pregnancy brought on more extreme symptoms of her undiagnosed illness, she felt unsafe in her own apartment and suffered from delusions that lead her to stay awake for several days in her darkened apartment while trying to grapple with what aspects of her life was real and what was not. Thankfully her godsister noticed the fact that Peral had seemingly dropped off the face of the earth and went to her apartment unannounced. This was instrumental in her getting the help that she needed.
She was diagnosed with prenatal depression and was in the process of being screen for other mental illnesses (which would lead to her official diagnosis of schizophrenia in her second trimester of pregnancy) while she and her godsister worked out the plan for her to take custody of the baby. As much as she loved her unborn child she knew that she would not be able to provide the life that they would need, the life that she had always promised to one day give a child, while she was still growing herself. The knowledge that the baby would be safe and with someone she knew and trusted allowed her to begin the healing she needed to do.
When [name_u]Arrow[/name_u] was born she held her for less than five minutes before requesting that she be taken away so she wouldn’t get overwhelmed and let her emotions try to convince her to change her mind. Before leaving with the baby her godsister promised that this would not be the last time that she saw her baby.
As her doctor had anticipated her prenatal depression continued into post partum depression and she was referred to a specialty program for women with PPD and existing mental illnesses. This was the start to her upswing.
Through the years, aided by a supportive family, team of medical professionals, and the occasional photo of baby [name_u]Arrow[/name_u], she began to get her mental health under control. It was a long and arduous journey but after many, many years, she feels confident that she knows how to manage her own life now. Though her symptoms never really go away, they are manageable and she has the support of her partner and regular therapist.
Now she lives within a days drive of [name_u]Arrow[/name_u], [name_u]Archer[/name_u], and their family with her own family and works as an art therapist. Occasionally she struggles with the guilt of ‘replacing’ [name_u]Arrow[/name_u], but she knows that if she had chosen to parent when she was not yet healthy, it wouldn’t have been good for either of them. [name_f]Every[/name_f] time she sees [name_u]Arrow[/name_u] today she knows that she made the right choice, and is happy with where her life has ended up.
thanks fot the tag!!