My general rule is don’t use anything that even people who like interesting names would look at your kid and think “Really? Where did that name come from? They don’t look ________”
I think there is a lot of wiggle room in popular names–there are very few names in the top 1000 even that I would be surprised to find on any race or religion.
It’s really only in less common names that I have a problem. It’s not a gigantic issue, it’s just a little weird. Meeting someone who looks Irish and is named [name]Keiko[/name] throws you off a bit. Being introduced to a black guy who’s name is [name]Dmitri[/name] is a surprise. It’s just a matter of expectations and understanding.
To me it’s the same issue as using male names on females. If you expect [name]Hunter[/name] to be a boy and she shows up and she’s a girl, it throws you off balance.
I have to laugh at assertions that [name]India[/name] and [name]Britain[/name] have a “great relationship”. [name]Just[/name] because you know [name]Indian[/name] people who are totes fans of [name]England[/name] does not erase the decades of brutal, bloody oppression that their country suffered at the hands of the Empire. There is a reason Gandhi was willing to literally starve himself to further the cause of independence. [name]India[/name], like the Africas, is still dealing with the cultural and economic fallout from imperialism. Please do not name your white child [name]India[/name]. It’s truly the worst kind of arrogance.
And yes, [name]Cohen[/name], [name]Bodhi[/name], [name]Krishna[/name], [name]Asia[/name], et al, are totally off limits.
So I’m going to ask a totally off the wall question, my cousin can name her 1/2 Chinese son Tao or [name]Jun[/name] because his father speaks fluent Mandarin but if I wanted to name my 1/2 Italian son [name]Dante[/name] because neither SO or I speak Italian?
And as to “cultural” names, I’m saddened because being 1/2 [name]German[/name] I love learning about the language and culture and I love some more Germanic sounding names but I’m afraid to give my child a stereotypical [name]German[/name] name because I worry about how it will reflect on me (I already get called a Nazi because I’m interested in Germany) and my child. The last thing I want is my child to suffer because of their name.
The most important thing to take into account is the historic and contemporary power differentials between your culture and the culture you are choosing a name from. [name]China[/name] has an extremely fraught history with the [name]West[/name], one that includes racism, commercial extortion and cultural appropriation (see ‘Orientalism’), not to mention incursion by “[name]Christian[/name]” missionaries that continue to this day. [name]Italy[/name] and the US, on the other hand, do not have such a difficult past, and people of Italian descent are not subject to racism in the US. Ditto Germany. I’d say using a name from either of these cultures is fine.
I don’t think it’s ever a matter of “can’t”. Of course you can. You can name your kid anything you want.
But like with any name you choose, you just have to be prepared for the kind of reactions you might get. The same way [name]Jayden[/name]'s mom will have her son’s name called trendy, and [name]Hazel[/name]'s mom might have her daughter’s name called frumpy, and [name]Henri[/name]'s mom might have her daughter’s name called too boyish.
If you love the name enough to deal with any reactions, then go with what inspires you. Regarding your specific examples, I think [name]Dante[/name] is widely used enough that no one would expect him to speak Italian (it’s in the 300’s).
Regarding [name]German[/name] names, it would depend on the name, but I think some are usable–especially if you enjoy that culture and have some connection to it. A Japanese guy named [name]Ulrich[/name] might be a tad strange, but a kid named [name]Wolf[/name]…I doubt people would make a fuss.
Esmé is a boy’s name. The girl’s version is Esmée. [name]Both[/name] names mean the same thing, beloved, but they are pronounced differently in French. [name]Don[/name]'t ask me how to pronounce them, though, I don’t know. I though [name]Esme[/name] was cute for a little girl, which completely horrified my husband. He insisted on Esmée with the appropriate accent marks and all and that just seems like too much to deal w. in [name]America[/name], so I dropped it.
I think that [name]Elena[/name] is a name in many different countries, so there are many different legitimate pronunciations. Using [name]Cohen[/name] as a first name at all seems ill-advised to me, but especially as the first name of a non Jewish kid. I am not Jewish, but I have heard from many Jewish people that it is offensive. I don’t know about [name]Bodhi[/name]. I don’t like it as a first name, so I never thought about it, and I am not a Buddhist, so I can’t tell you if it is offensive.
I do not know any men named [name]Dmitri[/name] at all, but I did go to school w. a black guy named [name]Demetrius[/name]. That is a Greek name, but I don’t think that means that his mother should have named him something more “culturally appropriate.” I would totally use [name]Demetrius[/name] if we have another son. I guess I agree with avoiding names that would be offensive to the culture of origin, though the only other names that I have heard are actually offensive to people were Native American names, like [name]Dakota[/name], etc. But I don’t see anything wrong with using names from another culture, for the most part.
I’d say it’s fine to use an Italian name. Many Italian names are common in [name]America[/name] AND your SO is of Italian heritage. I don’t agree with a PP that you must be able to speak a language to use a name.
I don’t know what to say to your other comment. I’ve studied [name]German[/name] language and history for a long time, and also lived there, and I’ve never had anyone call me a Nazi. The people who call you that are just immature jerks, and you shouldn’t let people like that affect your life choices… I don’t think that your children will suffer for having [name]German[/name]-sounding names.
So I’m going to ask a totally off the wall question, my cousin can name her 1/2 Chinese son Tao or Jun because his father speaks fluent Mandarin
If I understand this correctly, her son is half-Chinese, so it IS his culture; I don’t know why that would be problematic. If both parents were of pure Western ancestry, though, I think it is more problematic.
[name]Edit[/name]:: In fact, no. [name]Don[/name]'t bother. There’s no point in arguing about this. This is a names forum not a political debate. [name]Just[/name] please stop bashing my country.
Ehm, are you from [name]Britain[/name] or [name]India[/name]? Have you ever been to either of these countries? Maybe we should stop using Jewish names as well. Anything from the Middle [name]East[/name] really, as well as Irish names. Hang on, are we talking only poor countries or any nation that has ever been repressed by anyone? Cause I can go on and on.
[name]Erin[/name], use which ever name you want. Your child will be beautiful and loved, I’d love to see you with a little [name]Dante[/name]!
I guess it all comes down to sensitivity and how secure you are. I’m fine with whomever wants to use names from my heritage, oppressed or not. You’re probably going to offend someone even if you call your daughter [name]Jane[/name].
Not really – my mother is a British immigrant and I’m of Jewish descent. I was born in the US and have dual citizenship. We have close relatives in [name]England[/name] and [name]India[/name] (pretty common, as previous posters have pointed out).
Well, we’re basically the same then! Anyway, my point is, a name is a name. Use it, don’t use it, don’t be so bloody sensitive all the time. It must be exhausting! Live and let live.
I am just curious- does the list of names on your signature reflect your own cultural heritage? What is that, exactly? Some of the names in your list are Jewish, while others are French, maybe? I’m not sure, I am not an expert on the etymology of names.
My own cultural heritage is mixed to the point that I do not know what it is even. I think that is is the case with many folks in the US at least. I don’t know where this leaves us.
I did ask nicely but since you insisted on continuing…
Firstly, watch the news?? Is there some sort of war between Britain and India that only America has been told about?
Secondly. Ok. I’ll open a history book. Britain has been invaded by the Romans, the Angles, the Vikings, the Normans and, most recently, the Germans in 1940. Should the nations currently associated with those groups (bar Germany who are still Germany) be lambasted for events in their past that they can’t change or take back? Should they be barred from using any sort of British name lest it happen to offend us? No. That’s ridiculous. I bear no grudge against any of them; they’re just part of British history now like we are part of India’s.
This whole thing is ridiculous. I’ve been to India, I’ve talked to people there who will have been alive during the time of the occupation, they were friendly to me. Everyone was friendly to me. I felt no ill will from anyone for any reason, let alone my nationality.
Sorry, I posted this before I saw your reply above of being British and Jewish by descent.
I am [name]Christian[/name] by belief (and descent) and our Bible includes the Jewish scriptures. So that means that I can use Jewish names that are in our common scriptures, right?
I do think that you can go too far with this. There are obvious pitfalls to avoid (don’t name your baby [name]Cohen[/name], I think that is established) but also don’t write off [name]Sophia[/name] just b.c you aren’t Italian.
I feel like countries like the U.K and the U.S are becoming one big muddled pot of culture. [name]Every[/name] culture has freely and openly borrowed from other cultures. Culture is absolutely a fluid and changing concept. No culture or heritage can look at its customs without being able to trace them to different time periods or people. [name]Even[/name] countries that have experienced barbarism at the hands of other countries still take on some of its customs. Why shouldn’t the reverse be true? [name]Even[/name] if it seems a little distasteful, people are influenced by things that they find new and different. I feel like this applies to names too. No one of child bearing age today had any part in the colonialist era. There could be a million different reasons to choose an ethnic name for a child who does not have a direct ancestral link to that culture. Whether people like it or not, cultures and names are becoming increasingly global. People now are exposed to other cultures in ways that our ancesters could have only dreamed. I think this is a good thing. As we expand our horizons, it only makes sense that we will also expand our idea of acceptable names. As for the names in question, I think [name]India[/name] is perfectly acceptable but a little odd. I have spent some time in [name]India[/name] and as much as I love the country and the people I would never be so overt in the way I chose to honor it. There are subtler ways to pay homage. If there is a significance to the name for the parents, so be it, but to me it is just as odd as naming your child Mexico or [name]Canada[/name]. For names like [name]Bodhi[/name], [name]Krishna[/name], or [name]Cohen[/name] I feel like no matter what your race or cultural heritage, if you are going to saddle a kid with such a weighty name you better be an active practitioner of that religion. Not because it is inherently wrong to use, but it just makes you look ignorant. As for the more secular choices mentioned, I say have at it. If you like it and want to use it, go for it.
