My husband and I are due with our second child in a month! We currently have a 17 month old daughter named [name_u]Eloise[/name_u] and are expecting a boy. We’ve gone back and forth the whole pregnancy about what to name him! Since we are sticking with older family names, one of our top names is [name_m]Chester[/name_m] (my husband’s middle name and his grandfather’s name). I think it could be really cute! Especially the nickname Ches.
But then there is the unfortunate nickname [name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molester I just can’t bring myself to name my son something that could potentially be really hurtful! My husband was raised to love his middle name and respect it enough to not let anyone make fun of him for it. I’m just afraid our son won’t be as strong.
A really troubling thing I’m having is we met a lady at the hospital who made this comment while laughing when she found out my husband’s middle name, “aren’t you glad your parents didn’t name you that?!” my husband didn’t even give it a second thought, but it ate away at me for days.
We’ve been told to use it as a middle name instead if we’re worried about the nickname, but don’t like how it sounds with our other top name, [name_u]Porter[/name_u]. What do I do? Put my foot down and say no way? Or try my best to raise my son to respect it and understand where it came from?
Any input and advice for this emotionally confused pregnant mama would be greatly appreciated!!
Is that nickname really inevitable? Yeah, maybe he’ll hear it once or twice on the playground, but unless your son becomes an unfortunate target for severe bullying, I can’t imagine he’d hear it very frequently, or that his first name would be the cause of excessive teasing.
Personally I’d use it, family names are important to me. I’d also consider using a J middle to open up the option of CJ as a NN.
I think it depends how averse you are to the name. I wouldn’t not use it because of what other people think, or worry about teasing, but if that’s what YOU think of when you hear the name, maybe reconsider.
As for the lady in the hospital making comments…she’ll probably name her kids [name_f]Jaydyn[/name_f] and Madysyn or something.
Is [name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molester a reference to something? I never would have made that connection.
If I thought hard enough, I could probably come up with an unfortunate association for any name. Please don’t let a random rude lady in a hospital get you down!
I don’t know where you are but it’s a definite strong connotation to the name here (I’m in Australia)
My husband recently suggested the name ‘[name_f]Celeste[/name_f]’ to which I instantly replied ‘it sounds like molest’. He thought I was being ridiculous so he asked our Facebook friends and that’s when people made the comment that they have the same thought with the name [name_m]Chester[/name_m] - as in ‘[name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molestor’ much like [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]/[name_f]Scarlett[/name_f] the Harlot. It’s a connotation that I’ve always had (although I don’t know where it originated from) and it seems there are others out there who think the same thing.
So, that being said, if it were me, I wouldn’t use the name. Sure, kids will probably find a way to make fun of any name, but why use a name that’s such an easy target. That’s just my personal opinion. At the end of the day the choice is yours, and if you love the name, that really is all that matters.
Maybe it’s worthwhile subtly suggesting the name to friends and family and work colleagues etc to see what kind of reaction you get or if any of them assume that connection? That way you can make a more informed decision of the likelihood of this being a real issue among the people your son is likely to interact with.
I don’t know where you are but it’s a definite strong connotation to the name here (I’m in Australia)
My husband recently suggested the name ‘[name_f]Celeste[/name_f]’ to which I instantly replied ‘it sounds like molest’. He thought I was being ridiculous so he asked our Facebook friends and that’s when people made the comment that they have the same thought with the name [name_m]Chester[/name_m] - as in ‘[name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molestor’ much like [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]/[name_f]Scarlett[/name_f] the Harlot. It’s a connotation that I’ve always had (although I don’t know where it originated from) and it seems there are others out there who think the same thing.
So, that being said, if it were me, I wouldn’t use the name. Sure, kids will probably find a way to make fun of any name, but why use a name that’s such an easy target? That’s just my personal opinion. At the end of the day the choice is yours, and if you love the name, that really is all that matters.
Maybe it’s worthwhile subtly suggesting the name to friends and family and work colleagues etc to see what kind of reaction you get or if any of them assume that connection? That way you can make a more informed decision of the likelihood of this being a real issue among the people your son is likely to interact with.
I would go ahead and name him [name_m]Chester[/name_m], its a lovely name and i didn’t think of that association until you mentioned it.I don’t think many children would think to call him that.
I’m not gonna lie it’s the first thing I thought of. I would never say that to someone’s face but I think the connection is really strong. It’s great that your husband isn’t bothered by it but it’s also not his first name. And you can’t have the same expectations for your son. You could always give him a middle name that he could decide to use instead if he hates [name_m]Chester[/name_m]. Or why not a variation of [name_m]Chester[/name_m]? Heston could be really handsome! And it sounds great with [name_u]Porter[/name_u].
Heston [name_u]Porter[/name_u] Ling
I think if that’s the name you like and it has special meaning to you then you should use it. If it becomes a problem, call him by his nickname more often. If it helps I’ve never even heard “[name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molester” before. I’m east coast US.
I recognize the reference and saying once you brought it up, but if I were on my own, I’d never bring that to mind.
It could probably be a generational thing, as well. I doubt playground bullies would think of it. Similarly, I hope that we’re all raising children (and encouraging adults and teens) who will not see molestation as a joke, nor cause someone harm by making fun of their name.
Why not stick it in the middle slot, just like it is for your husband? Then you’ve got the family name in there, it’s a name you love, but no one will make fun of it because it’s in the middle.
We have asked close family and friends and they have the same feeling I do. I also asked in a mom group on Facebook and out of like 50 comments, only around 3 were positive I think I’ll try and convince my husband to use that as a middle name
I haven’t heard “[name_m]Chester[/name_m] the molester” jokes for a long time. Maybe they will die down soon? I think now with the Internet around, every name has an unfortunate association, because stupid jokes are created by loads of people and shared by loads of others. It’s not enough to stop using all normal names though. My own name has a connection to a quite tricky pop culture character (think prostitutes), but I have yet to get any comments.
If you are still unsure, what about similar names like [name_m]Lester[/name_m] or [name_m]Sylvester[/name_m] or [name_m]Walter[/name_m]? Maybe find another name you can shorten to Ches?
In general, I think [name_m]Chester[/name_m] is a really good, unusual-but-not-too-out-there name.
The only Chesters that I have ever known are dogs, and every (immature) guy I know has made stupid [name_m]Chester[/name_m] the molester jokes. Unless you [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] the name, I vote for ditching it…but I am no name expert! I might just know too many dogs and immature males.
I adore the name [name_u]Porter[/name_u], but it definitely does not work with [name_m]Chester[/name_m].
(After a quick search, apparently [name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molester was a comic strip in Hustler magazine.)
I wouldn’t do it. [name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molester is too strong of an association. I also so think of the Cheetos mascot, [name_m]Chester[/name_m] Cheetah. And I agree with a pp, it’s easy for your husband to be proud because it’s only his mn. He didn’t have to live his life as [name_m]Chester[/name_m]. [name_m]How[/name_m] many of his friends/coworkers even know his mn?
Maybe this is only in the area I live in, but I’m a teenager and bullying a person over their name is rare. When I was younger (around ages 8-10), it was more common, but at that age I doubt they would come up with “[name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molester.” If bullying is the only thing you’re worried about, then I say use the name! [name_m]Just[/name_m] make sure to have a middle name that he can go by instead, in the unlikely case that he is bullied.
Okay, to be honest I’m not that fond of [name_m]Chester[/name_m] but I absolutely love the nickname Ches! If you call him Ches (or even [name_m]Chess[/name_m]) most of the time, I doubt anyone will really make the connection. However, children will always find a way to tease others about their name. For example, my brothers name is [name_m]Harry[/name_m] (extremely common) and he has had both Hairy [name_m]Harry[/name_m] and [name_m]Harry[/name_m] Highpants used by children in his class. The other name you’ve chosen, [name_u]Porter[/name_u], has no guarantee that it won’t have an unsavory nickname either! So, what I’m trying to say is that if you really love the name [name_m]Chester[/name_m], then use it because from my experience there will always be teasing, and it’s something kids just grow out of.
Also, if he’s ever going to get the nickname [name_m]Chester[/name_m] the Molester it will be in high school, not elementary school, because I don’t think most children would have that word in their vocabulary. So by then, he’d be able to make his own decision by either going by [name_m]Chester[/name_m], Ches or even his middle name.
hmm I would use it as a middle name, I also think it would be nice if your son has his own first name for himself as an individual and not his grandfathers name
If you end up using [name_u]Porter[/name_u] as his first name than have you considered using a double middle name so you can still use the name as an honor while also making the name flow nicely
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have any other male names you like that could fill the hole, or another name honoring a family member or friend
You could use your partners first name, your fathers name or middle name, brothers name if you have one, etc. There are many names you could source a nice filler name from whether is be the name of a Family, friend or just a name you love.
also [name_u]Eloise[/name_u] and [name_u]Porter[/name_u] are great together and I prefer [name_u]Porter[/name_u] to [name_m]Chester[/name_m] any way
[name_u]Porter[/name_u] [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Chester[/name_m] …
[name_u]Porter[/name_u] [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] [name_m]Chester[/name_m] …
[name_u]Porter[/name_u] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_m]Chester[/name_m] …
[name_u]Porter[/name_u] [name_u]Alex[/name_u] [name_m]Chester[/name_m] …
[name_u]Porter[/name_u] [name_u]Michael[/name_u] [name_m]Chester[/name_m] …
There are so many names that would fit really nice in that space, Goodluck
I just can’t bring myself to name my son something that could potentially be really hurtful! My husband was raised to love his middle name and respect it enough to not let anyone make fun of him for it. I’m just afraid our son won’t be as strong.
I think I’ll try and convince my husband to use that as a middle name