My mom has these lovely rules for me about naming my child. And they’re all fairly normal rules. It just frustrates me that my mom is saying I expect a name you to pick to fit all of these.
No alliteration.
No rhyming names or names that have the same ending.
Cannot be a noun/adjective to due surname being an occupation.
Must be a current trend. However she has no idea what those trends are.
[name]Apple[/name] is horrible but [name]Lemon[/name] is okay. On a more common example [name]James[/name] if fine and a [name]Henry[/name] will be ridiculed forever.
So berries, what rules or suggestions to you get from your parents/in-laws regarding names? [name]How[/name] do you deal with it?
I honestly don’t discuss names with my family, they’ll learn the name when they meet their grandson or granddaughter! I don’t mean it to be harsh, but my mother got to apply any of her personal name rules when she named me, this one is up to me and DH.
[name]Do[/name] you think when the time comes she will hold to the rules or let them go out the window w/ excitement over a new grandchild? [name]Just[/name] wondering because I could probably introduce my mother to little Dorcus Lampshade and she’d be over the moon to be a grandmom.
I don’t get rules, per se, but individual names get criticism. According to my mother-in-law, a son named [name]Lane[/name] will be called “Lame” all his life, and my mother cannot fathom the idea of having to tell people that she has a granddaughter named [name]Pepper[/name]. Is it bad that I am more willing to take my mom’s opinions into consideration than I am my mother-in-law’s? [name]Pepper[/name] is basically off the table for us now, but [name]Lane[/name] is still in our top two boys’ names, only fueled by my mother-in-law’s campaign against it.
I have always said, this is my baby and so I (and DH of course) and the one who gets to choose the name. Mother in law chose [name]David[/name], [name]Brian[/name] and [name]Andrew[/name] for her children, my own mother [name]Jennifer[/name], [name]Karen[/name] and [name]Michael[/name] so if you look at my siggy, we all have different styles.
Which leads me to my next point of not discussing names with her. [name]Trust[/name] me, we got a ton of flack when announcing [name]Seb[/name]'s name while pregnant so we never ever did it again…so far no rude things have been said when we introduced each child. If they disliked the names, that info was kept inside their own heads. It’s a lot harder to talk about what a horrible name [name]Bronwen[/name] is when she is looking you in the face with her sweet baby eyes watching your every move.
All this to say, do not discuss names with people who have their own agendas and come on here and talk to us instead. [name]Irl[/name] I have several friends who decided to not use favorite names because of grandparent etc backlash and that really makes me upset. If my mom had her way, [name]Seb[/name] would be [name]Jacob[/name] [name]Andrew[/name].
I don’t ask my mum for opinions on our baby names (although she does offer them.) Our first daughter is [name]Matilda[/name], which she loves. If [name]Matilda[/name] were a boy she would have been [name]Jasper[/name], which at the time my mum hated. Now we are due our second child in three weeks and if it is a boy he will still be [name]Jasper[/name], and family will just have to deal with it! I haven’t broken the news yet that if it’s a girl she will be called [name]Juno[/name], reckon that will be up for some criticism!
It needs to be pronounceable in my parents [name]Boston[/name]-Quebecois accent, that’s about it. For example I’d never be allowed to use “[name]Mira[/name]” as it would turn in to “Mah-rah”. That’s the only “rule” I know of.
Not sure what the “rule” from my parents-in-law-to-be would be . . . maybe simply to use a family name?
I’ve gotten so many looks from my mother in law, but no rules. For my own mom, I’m super lucky. I can say I want to name my child [name]Lyra[/name] or [name]Calliope[/name] and she normal says something along the lines of “Oh, that’s pretty!” I say have an absurdly cute nickname like peanut to call your baby prior to birth and save the discussion of names until the baby is here (in other words, keep names b/w you and DH until the birth). I know a lot of people do this and it works really well for them. You shouldn’t have to sideline a name you love because of some silly rule
My mother picked no names with my siblings and I. My grandmother named me as my parents were too upset after my birth and no longer wanted to use the name they had picked. My father named my still born brother and he also named my brother. She wanted my name to be [name]Hannah[/name] [name]Paige[/name] and my brother to be [name]Fritz[/name] [name]Michael[/name]. I’m [name]Erin[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] and my brother [name]Cole[/name] [name]Alexander[/name]. So although she had her chance to name children she didn’t. My mother in law used very different names for her children: [name]Martin[/name], [name]Clayton[/name], [name]Leonardo[/name], [name]Franklin[/name], [name]Oscar[/name], [name]Hazel[/name] and [name]Edith[/name]. But our names are more our own.
My mom being my mother she would be every bit upset if a name we chose didn’t met her criteria. And I have no plans on actually sharing potential names with her when an actual little one is involved, so she will find out with the rest of the family and friends. SO and I are still debating how involved in our children’s life she will be as she has very many backwards and inappropiate ideas and feelings that I don’t want around my children all the time.
If I got to use my long standing favorites of [name]Gideon[/name] or [name]Isaiah[/name] she would die. She makes no attempt to hide her dislike of chosen names to immediate family. I’ve have two cousins who have recently became parents for the second times. Out of four total children there’s only one who’s name she approves of and that was after much getting used to it.
To her my children should be an -ayden or a classic name for a boy and something nice and classic for a girl (ex. [name]Elizabeth[/name] or [name]Hannah[/name]).
[name]Edit[/name]: As to the nicknames, I’m sure there will be many of them. I much prefer it to calling them [name]Baby[/name] Last Name. SO often either mentions our future children by name if we’re alone or if he references children in front of family he’ll call them [name]Champ[/name] or [name]Angel[/name] or something similarly un-name like. I would probably go the opposite extreme on the cute. Gremlin could be a very real possibility on a bad day.
I honestly would pay no attention to your mother if I were you. This is your baby, and she has to respect that. If she was so strict about her rules, maybe she should have put them into practice when she had her own kids. Not your problem that she missed her chance.
If I were in your position, I would frankly use whatever names my OH and I wanted. Her approval is nice but definitely NOT necessary. If her dislike of the name of her grandkid is enough to make her “die”, I’d honestly be questioning whether she was the kind of lady I’d want around my kids.
[name]Hope[/name] I’m not being too harsh. You favourite name are lovely - Go with your heart. She missed her chance and she should have little to no influence on how you name your kid, and more importantly, she should accept this without making it an issue.
I’m not pregnant, nor have I ever been but my rules on dealing with that would be:
I’m not discussing names with my family, especially parentals.
You had your chance to name children, it’s now mine.
Your tastes are likely not mine. Let’s leave it at that. Your input is likely way outdated as well.
I’ll listen to your input, but just because I’m listening to what you say, doesn’t mean I’m going to adhere to it.
I’ll be the one in labour, so my ultimate wants trumps inlaws/parents.
I love talking about names, but most people around me are so beyond clueless. As in they think [name]Jessica[/name] and [name]Jennifer[/name] are the most common names still, and names like [name]Imogen[/name] don’t exist.
I’d just listen, but do not engage them in a discussion unless you’re being objective, and sharing general info. It often gets ugly, and since you’re likely a bit more emotional, you might get very hurt or offended.
My mom insists that if it’s a girl her middle name be [name]Rose[/name] (which is my mother’s name). I find it annoying. While it’s a pretty name it bugs me she suggests it. Also it’s my step-son’s sister at his mom’s house middle name so I just can’t bring myself to use it!
The only other rule my mother insists on is that my Italian grandmother be able to pronounce the name. Her English is very broken and that would severely limit our choices. She uses nicknames for most of the grandchildren anyways.
My mother in law on the other hand really pushes male names from her side of he family. I’m not fond of any of them.
It really is no one else’s business what you and your husband name your child. We are having a hard enough time agreeing between the two if us so I just tune the grandmothers out They had their chance to name babies with their own children. It’s your turn now!!
My mom doesn’t try to give us a list of rules (she wouldn’t dare!), but she does have plenty of opinions. I generally enjoy discussing names with her even though we often disagree. Her taste in names is still mostly stuck back in the late 1970s when she was naming her own children. Anything current, anything old fashioned, basically any name that would have raised eyebrows back in 1979, has a good chance of getting a thumbs down from her. I don’t take it to heart, and I really don’t think she expects to influence us much, if at all.
I think all her grandkids’ names have been initially met with a grimace of dismay from her, but she just accepts them and moves on. She knows they’re not her kids to name.
Everyone has input in my family. but it doesn’t meant hat we’ll take their advice. It’s like a giant car game all the time. We vetoed a name with our son because my Mother-in-law refused to say it right ([name]Griffin[/name]!) and so after that, we just named him what we wanted. And everyone liked it.
This time, I think it will be more fun, since they get to try and sibling match. hahaha… but my in-laws will not have input.
I have no children yet, but when I do, I will have my own ‘rules’ for naming them. My mom is pretty cool when it comes to my naming style. I try not to bombard her with names I like, because as she states, “as soon as I start liking a name, you change it,” lol, other than that she may tell me she may or may not like it, so it ends there.
When my mom had my two older sisters, she let one our Uncles (her brothers) name the eldest. When the second sister came, she felt guilty and let the other Uncle name her. When he had children of his own, he began mocking how ‘ghetto’ her name was (a name he choose) and that no one who have that problem with his children. By the time I came, she had decided no matter the gender, I would have the name that I have now (the name the second sister should have had).
Any who, don’t let any one sway you from a name you love. They had their chance or will have their chance in naming their children whatever they like, and so should you.
Thank for the input. I’m not even going to mention names with my mother around. Although my brother and I had a nice conversation about names today. For a 15 year old boy he has a nice taste in names, [name]Leopold[/name] being his favorite.
My in laws haven’t heard a name discussion yet so I’ve not heard their two cents. Although I doubt they’d say anything. My dad’s heard them and he says he doesn’t care as long as we like it. He’s even up for my brother naming a child [name]Leopold[/name]. He just came up with a potential nickname.
[name]Don[/name]'t feel ANY pressure from your mother on what to name your children. I’ve told my kids that I will either love (or will learn to love) whatever names they pick out for their children someday, and that I look forward to seeing what they choose. Based on names my daughter mentions to me from time to time that she likes, I should have nothing to worry about. She has very sensible taste in names.
Why on earth does your mom get to give you rules? My mom gets to know the baby name when her grandchild is born. Not only does she not give me rules, I don’t even want to listen to her go “Ewwww [name]Tabitha[/name]?!” Or whatever. So I won’t discuss it with her.
Sharing the names or discussing them is one thing, but this is your baby. She already got to name hers. You’re a grownup naming your own children. Your and your husband’s rules are the only ones that matter.
This. My mom does it too. “You’re naming my future grandchild after me, right? [name]Will[/name] it be [name]Roxanna[/name] or [name]Dawn[/name]?” It’s frustrating that she even mentions it since I’m not a fan of her name at all.
[name]Martin[/name], my SO, mentioned children in front of his younger brothers (aged almost 7-14) and immediately got three different reactions. [name]One[/name] of ewwww! (from the almost 7 year old), an you’re crazy, (from the 12 year old) and a name them after me! (from the 14 year old). I think he’s parents rule would be an honoring name as each of their children’s names are a family name from each side of the family.
The only person I truly want to honor is my dad, [name]Robert[/name]. But I can’t use his middle as he shares it with his distasteful bio father and I’m worn out on [name]Robert[/name] as my brother is the only male in that side of the family who isn’t one.
Is it bad that I am more willing to take my mom’s opinions into consideration than I am my mother-in-law’s? [name]Pepper[/name] is basically off the table for us now, but [name]Lane[/name] is still in our top two boys’ names, only fueled by my mother-in-law’s campaign against it. 