[name_f]Magdalena[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f]: We call her [name_m]Daly[/name_m] (dah-lee). DH chose [name_f]Magdalena[/name_f] for religious reasons, and [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] because it as his maternal grandmother’s name.
[name_f]Marjorie[/name_f] [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f]: We call her [name_u]Jorie[/name_u]. We pulled [name_f]Marjorie[/name_f] from a video game (Fallout: [name_m]New[/name_m] [name_f]Vegas[/name_f], [name_f]Marjorie[/name_f] from the White Glove Society) and [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] because DH’s father was [name_m]Henry[/name_m].
[name_f]Oksana[/name_f] [name_f]Marlo[/name_f]: [name_f]Oksana[/name_f] has been my favorite name since I was like six years old. My favorite uncle’s name was [name_m]Marlon[/name_m], so we dropped the -n.
Types of names we don’t like:
Trendy or common names. This includes:
Classics, including ones like [name_m]John[/name_m], [name_u]James[/name_u], and [name_m]William[/name_m] as well as stuffier ones like [name_m]Frederick[/name_m], [name_u]Lawrence[/name_u], and [name_u]Wallace[/name_u]
80’s/90’s names, like [name_m]Jason[/name_m], [name_u]Tyler[/name_u], and [name_m]Keith[/name_m]
Currents names, both of the [name_u]Aidan[/name_u]/[name_m]Jackson[/name_m]/[name_u]Noah[/name_u] variety and the [name_u]Luca[/name_u]/[name_m]Wyatt[/name_m]/[name_m]Asher[/name_m] variety
Occupation names, like [name_m]Fletcher[/name_m], [name_u]Hunter[/name_u], [name_m]Cooper[/name_m], etc.
“British” names like [name_m]Alfred[/name_m], [name_m]Albert[/name_m], [name_m]Oliver[/name_m], [name_m]Giles[/name_m], [name_m]Arthur[/name_m], [name_m]Angus[/name_m], etc.
Too-foreign names. [name_f]Oksana[/name_f] is Ukrainian, we know that (well, I do. I assume he does.) But at least to us it doesn’t feel too foreign. Too-foreign boy names to us are like [name_m]Leopold[/name_m], [name_m]Benoit[/name_m], [name_m]Dante[/name_m], [name_m]Ilya[/name_m], [name_m]Gustave[/name_m], [name_m]Lars[/name_m], etc.
Unattractive old names, like [name_m]Horace[/name_m], [name_m]Eugene[/name_m], [name_m]Gerald[/name_m], [name_m]Herman[/name_m], [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m], etc.
Cowboy names like [name_m]Clive[/name_m], [name_m]Clint[/name_m], [name_u]Jesse[/name_u], [name_m]Earl[/name_m], [name_m]Chet[/name_m], etc.
Over-the-top or pretentious names, like [name_m]Beauregard[/name_m], [name_m]Napoleon[/name_m], [name_m]Mortimer[/name_m], [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m], [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m], [name_m]Calhoun[/name_m], [name_m]Montgomery[/name_m], etc.
Nature/granola names like [name_u]River[/name_u], [name_u]Reed[/name_u], [name_m]Forest[/name_m], [name_u]Cedar[/name_u], etc.
Unisex names, although most of these also fall under “trendy or common” or “nature/granola” to us ([name_u]Jordan[/name_u], [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Cameron[/name_u], [name_u]Rowan[/name_u], [name_f]Lark[/name_f], etc.)
“Uncle” names, like [name_m]Kenneth[/name_m], [name_u]Claude[/name_u], [name_m]Chip[/name_m], etc.
And the biggest one, which encompasses some of the others:
No biblical/religious names. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if they’re only subtly biblical. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if they’re not biblical in origin but have a distinct religious connection because of popes or saints or other figures. We know the names [name_f]Magdalena[/name_f], [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], and [name_f]Oksana[/name_f] all go against this, but we’re not gonna go changing our daughters names because we had a falling out with the church. But because of the way our families have responded to us leaving the church, it is a very firm point that our son will not be given a biblical or religious name.
Traits we do want to associate/have associated with our son’s name:
We would prefer a name that comes off as old-fashioned, just not boring or stuffy
We would prefer a name that is distinct and uncommon, but we don’t want one that’s difficult and unfamiliar
We would prefer a name with a good variety nickname options. We know nicknames can arise from outside of the name, but we would still like to be able to derive several to play around with. For example, we usually call [name_f]Magdalena[/name_f] [name_m]Daly[/name_m], but she is also at times [name_f]Maggie[/name_f], [name_u]Joey[/name_u], [name_f]Lena[/name_f], [name_u]Max[/name_u] (came from [name_f]Mags[/name_f]), or [name_m]Fin[/name_m] ("-phin-")
Names we like/guilty pleasures
Boy names are hard. We’ve been looking for months, browsing websites and forums, reading books, sitting at the playground listening to what other parents are calling their kids, and don’t have a single name on our list. But we have considered and vetoed:
DH has a guilty pleasure for some Irish/Welsh names, like Daithí, [name_m]Dafydd[/name_m] (both forms of [name_m]David[/name_m], so even if they weren’t too foreign/difficult they’d still be too biblical), [name_m]Llewelyn[/name_m], [name_m]Tadhg[/name_m] (definite religious/political connotations that our families are very aware of) and Faolán (saint name, so again, out even if it weren’t too foreign/difficult.)
My guilty pleasure is [name_m]Fleetwood[/name_m], but the only reason it’s on my radar is because it’s a family name for our neighbors (five generations of [name_m]Fleetwood[/name_m]!) I can’t use our neighbors’ family name for my son, especially cause [name_m]Fleetwood[/name_m] V is only two so our kids will definitely know each other. [name_m]Fleet[/name_m] is the coolest nickname I have ever heard, but not substantial enough to stand alone imo. Along similar lines, [name_m]Huckleberry[/name_m], but it’s just too much.
DH likes [name_u]Darby[/name_u]. I really don’t, but I’m not sure why. Too modern-sounding, perhaps? Or maybe cause if I saw it I’d assume it was feminine. Or maybe I don’t like the b sound. Or maybe it reminds me of [name_u]Kirby[/name_u]. I’m not sure, but I don’t like it.
We both have [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] as a guilty pleasure. A few years ago we learned that it used to be a male name and instantly fell in love. I think we really love that it’s obvious, familiar, right there, like of course [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] would be masculine it mimics the sounds of so many other names, but not something we’d ever have thought of (sort of how I feel about [name_m]Fleetwood[/name_m].) But obviously [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] is definitely feminine now, and it’s also got a history of being used as slang for homosexual, and we know better than to ever use it.
Surnames as first names. This is a trend that we both like. But none of the surnames in our families are good, and it’s so hard to find a surname that works as a first name that isn’t either already trendy or comes off as try-hard/pretentious. [name_m]Fitz[/name_m]- names ([name_m]Fitzgerald[/name_m], [name_m]Fitzroy[/name_m], [name_m]Fitzwilliam[/name_m], Fitzmichael. etc.) stand out to us. We oscillate between “these are great we just need to pick which one is the best” and “these are British and pretentious and absolutely not appropriate for our child.”
Last name is Irish and starts with L. His family is [name_m]Boston[/name_m] Irish, he grew up in the heart of [name_m]Boston[/name_m], he knows the exact date his grandparents landed in [name_u]America[/name_u] and exactly where in [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] they came from, etc. My family has been here much longer and is mostly a British Isles clusterfuck with one Swedish great grandparent thrown in. I grew up in Mississippi. So we don’t really have anything to work with in terms of like “well we’re this percent [name_m]French[/name_m] so I bet we could get away with a [name_m]French[/name_m] name” or anything like that. We live in a suburb of [name_f]Atlanta[/name_f].
Please help us put together a list! We’re running out of options, and time.
You haven’t left much to go off of. It seems like a lot of your criteria is subjective, so it’s going to be difficult to pinpoint names that you might like. I’m going to try my hardest to make a list for you, but no promises it will follow all of your rules:
Wow, with that long list of types of names you don’t like, it’s no wonder you’re having so much trouble finding a name!
If you liked the sound of Lavender, maybe you would like Lysander?
Names similar to Darby: Darcy, Darwin, Kelby, Jacoby, Ashby, Willoughby, Barnaby, Colby, Gatsby, Toby
And some random suggestions:
Lachlan
Donovan
Quentin
Percival
Maxwell
Miles
Oswald (It would be kinda cute to have two M initials and two O initials.)
Griffin
Ronan
Duncan
Dexter
Ford
Roderick
Aston
Brighton
But what I really think you should do is go through a name book or something and just make a list of names you like the sound of, even if you think they’re too trendy, or foreign, or religious, or whatever, because it’s possible that a name that you actually like and that also meets all your criteria might be impossible to find. You may need to compromise some. (For what it’s worth, I don’t think any of the names you mention as being too foreign are actually that foreign-sounding except for Benoit and maybe Ilya. Dante’s actually rather mainstream, and Leopold, Lars, and Gustav (I would leave off the “e”) are unusual, but familiar.)
I feel compelled to give rather general feedback than to try and suggest names that might be acceptable.
If you are running out of time and options, it might be time to let go of some of your rules. [name_m]Reading[/name_m] through your list, I felt like you ruled out every category of names there is.
It also surprised me that you know so well what you didn’t like, without it really helping you find some names you [name_f]DO[/name_f] like.
I noticed that all names you chose for your existing children go against some of these rules.
I also noticed that you have several “guilty pleasures,” so I don’t know what these rules are really about- if you like [name_f]Lavender[/name_f], it’s fine, but that means there are SOME nature names you [name_f]DO[/name_f] like.
I will say that every observable trend can be annoying in itself, though.
If I were to suggest any names to you, I would personally just ignore your No-Gos and just go by what you mentioned you WOULD like the name to be.
Maybe some names will come to me later on, maybe not.
I think you may want to sit down and minimize the list of donts . It would probably help you find a name better. Also it cuts off a lot of names you may like.
As soon as I got to the park about [name_f]Lavender[/name_f], I thought immediately of:
[name_m]Lysander[/name_m] (as suggested by a pp)
[name_m]EVANDER[/name_m]
According to Wikipedia [name_m]Evander[/name_m] comes from a Greek name (Evandros) meaning “Good man” (which is a great meaning, imo) and can also be an Anglicization of the Gaelic name Iomhar (form of [name_m]Ivor[/name_m]). So it shares some of the sounds you like with [name_f]Lavender[/name_f], is non-biblical in origin, and has an Irish-tie-in.
Lots of possible nicknames: [name_u]Van[/name_u], [name_m]Vander[/name_m], [name_m]Ander[/name_m], etc.