Did you make a special announcement for your pregnancies besides your first?

Parentberries
1

DH and I are kind of struggling with when and how we want to tell about our 2nd baby. With our first, we told my parents and sisters right away, like the day we found out. We very much regret that. For one, my parents were completely shocked and it caused awkward things to be said, and thus we felt very awkward. For two, that’s just too soon in case something goes wrong. I think they thought we should wait longer to have kids or something…Not that it is their decision, but… Anyhow, it was fun to tell my sisters right away, and I have already told my older sister who is married and expecting her first because she knew we have been waiting for 6 months and I’ve discussed it with her previously. She has been sworn to secrecy and I trust her to not tell. She thinks its awful I won’t tell my mom right away, but I know my mom can’t keep a secret.

We kind of feel like just sending a casual text or something. Is that bad? I could take a picture of the boy/girl onesies and big bro. shirt we bought and send it saying, “Due Aug. 11th.” We just feel like we don’t want to make a huge announcement or display or anything. And once my mom knows, she will get on facebook and announce it and literally tell everyone she sees that we know. My husband’s parents don’t really do texting/picture messages so I’m not sure how we would tell them. With our first, we went over and told them face to face and it was also very awkward. I’m not sure why. His Dad said congratulations and that’s it. His mom at least acted excited. (They love our son and were excited for us but personality wise aren’t ones to make big deals about stuff like my parents are. )

I’m also feeling kind of picky like I don’t want my mom or any family announcing the baby’s name, weight, time, etc… on facebook. We want to be the first to do that, but is that really selfish and unrealistic? Neither DH nor I have internet on our phones so it’s not like we can do it from the hospital. It would have to be after we got home, so I’m sure they would all throw a huge fit if we told them not to release any information.

Any thoughts on these feelings of mine? [name]How[/name] do you you tell and announce and let your family know your wishes?

2

I feel like a text is too casual. I’d at least call, but I wouldn’t worry about coming up with a creative or cute way to tell them.

As far as the birth announcement, it’s absolutely your right to share this information first. You should tell your mom you want to be the one to share this information and if she pitches a fit, I’d calmly tell her that if she can’t be trusted with the details, then she can wait to find out the baby’s name when you announce it, just like everyone else. I know it’s exciting for grandparents, but it’s your baby and it’s your place to share that info first, unless you’ve given her explicit permission to do so.

3

I can say I would be furious if anyone but me or [name]Martin[/name] announced details without our explicit permission. But I also am willing to have a friend keep my mom away from while I’m in labor so maybe that changes things a bit.
I would say just call and tell them. That’s what my parents will get with my first child. Although I love all the cutesy ideas for announcing you’re pregnant.

4

I think we’ll probably go the Big [name]Sister[/name] t-shirt route with most of our family unless it falls around some kind of holiday. I’d consider a cutesy “big reveal” if timing was just right. But our parents would all be giddy, so there’s not a worry of awkwardness.

5

I would go for the Big Bro t-shirt idea :slight_smile: I would probably do it in person though (if that’s an option for you)

With my first my in-laws did everything we asked them not to do when I was in labour and just after our daughter was born. It ended we me (who was exhausted after a 4 day labour ending in an emergency c-section) screaming at my husband that if he didn’t deal with his parents I was probably going to slap his mother. That’s not exactly what you want 2 hours after having a baby! So I do understand not wanting them to post it on Facebook (it happened to us, they shared all the details and even posted a photo that we sent them as they weren’t able to see her yet despite the fact we told them not to) I would tell everyone very clearly that you do not want anything posted on Facebook as you want to be the ones to share the new with your friends and family.

6

I’ve already had to have a talk with my mom about the name. I haven’t decided, but have it narrowed down to 2 names. She picked the one she liked better and was telling relatives I was using that name. I’ve only discussed the 2 name options with very few of my nearest and dearest and, as I said, I haven’t decided yet. I told her that even if I had, it wasn’t her place to go blabbing it online if I wasn’t ready to tell people and, if anything, pushing that option on me would most likely end in me choosing the other one.

7

We never make a big announcement. We just tell our parents, I tell my sister, I may tell dh brothers or his parents may tell them, and then it gets spread by word of mouth. We’re also just fine with family and friends spreading the news about baby’s birth, name and stats included (though the name has usually already been chosen and announced before then). I ask people to spread the news-I have no desire to make a million calls.

The idea of parents not being happy to be grandparents just boggles my mind for the most part (with obvious exceptions like your not married or financially are not great, a lot of people have this weird notion you should only have x number of kids which really annoys me). Both sets of grandparents were thrilled when we told them we were pregnant the first two times. All but my dad were happy about the new little one due in July. We are tight financially, my dad knows it, he’s a control freak, hence his reaction. Hence I live far away.

8

Well, when I was pregnant with our second child, we announced it early to family. I was no where near the 12week mark. Looking back, I wished I hadn’t said anything, as I miscarried at 7 weeks. But one of my Partners ex found out, and messaged him on fb “congrats on ur baby news”. I cannot stand this woman, and was furious that someone had told her! And everyone denies telling her but how else could she have found out!
Anyway, my point is don’t announce it too early, wait till it’s past the first scan. If you want to be the one who shares the details then keep them to urself. And don’t put anything on fb till u r ready.

9

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. My parents were happy about our first pregnancy, but our son was their first grandchild and so it was just a weird transition for them. The first year has been interesting to say the least. They are wonderful parents and grandparents, I just wish they could find a better balance on being the grandparents. Sometimes they still “parent” me and my son and I know they aren’t necessarily trying to. My older sister is expecting her first and hopefully with hers and with our second they will be more calm and less dramatic. :slight_smile: We don’t plan on telling them our second is even born for a couple hours after the birth, until we’ve had time to ourselves and for me to rest and what not. With my first, after my c section, they were in my recovery room in 20 minutes. I hadn’t even held my son and my husband was with him. We very clearly, and many times, told them NOT to come to the hospital until we called them. I was so upset and furious but was also not in a state of mind to deal with it. I was so exhausted so we just let them stay and they were there when I held my son the first time. It was not how I wanted things to go and to this day we regret just not telling them to leave. If they weren’t going to be watching our son during the birth, I would probably make them wait a day until coming to the hospital. I know that sounds mean, but they just didn’t respect our privacy and I’m really not expecting them to this time even though we will be much more clear and more firm. After thinking on it, we are either going to text a picture of the ultrasound photo or of the big brother shirt to family and just let it spread. I see my mom all the time, a few times a week at least, so I know she will either call me after getting the text or bring it up on our next visit. If she is upset about receiving just a text I’ll just tell her since it is our second we didn’t feel the need to make a big deal out of it and thought they would be fine with it. Hopefully she doesn’t figure it out before we want to let the news out! Because once she knows, it will be out.

10

I think grandparents and relatives follow the lead of the expectant parents when it comes to the feeling when announcing. You want them to be excited and happy, so sending a text to me feels like something to not celebrate, or that you aren’t proud enough to tell it to them directly (even if that’s just aloud on the phone).
I’d say something like /stress how excited you both are for your first child to become a big brother, and that you feel so blessed and excited too. Put it in that frame of mind and your parents or inlaws might feel foolish for saying or doing anything that doesn’t follow that emotion.

ETA : I really feel strongly about not doing it through text. Especially if you feel like your parents don’t treat you like an adult. Sending such big news in a text seems like a less mature way to do it. You don’t have to throw a huge party, but being upfront and assertive about the news sends a stronger message about your maturity in my opinion.
I’ve often thought about how I’d break the news to my parents, as at this point and for a few years to come I’ll be unmarried (but in a long term relationship, late twenties). My parents might not react so wonderfully as my dad is very conservative about marriage first etc. My mom wants grand babies though, so i would have her excitement at least. But if I were to send such big news via text, i know they’d almost instinctively respond like overbearing, stressed out parents whose teenage kid just did something life-ruining!!

But if I were to get on the phone, call them and start off with, “hey mom, dad, i have some news. And you might not be expecting it, and i wasn’t either, but I’m just SO excited and happy. We’re having a baby! I know it won’t be super easy, but I’m going to do all I can to make it work and having your support and excitement will help me so much and mean the world to your grandchild.”

Sorry if I’m coming off too strongly about this, but i do think you’ll be better served by saying it in person/aloud to them.
Congratulations!!

11

For our first daughter, I took the pregnancy test at home while my husband was working. We had only been married for 6-7 months but we were already “sort of” trying. We wanted a baby, but we didn’t care if it happened immediately or in five years. I dug out a [name]Tiffany[/name] bag that he had given me when we were dating, and put some white tissue paper inside. I found a white necklace box, one of the long thin ones, and put the test inside, and wrapped it up with [name]Tiffany[/name] ribbon. It was the week before my birthday, so when my husband came home I said, “Look what I picked out for my birthday!”. He looked at it, and I could tell he was a little upset that I had bought something [name]Tiffany[/name] without asking, but he just sort of sighed and reached for the box. When he opened the box it took a few seconds before it really hit him. He was so excited! We just cried and laughed and jumped up and down for a good while. For our parents we bought each of our parents a frame that said “I love Grandma and Grandpa” and it had an ultrasound picture of the baby inside. We did them at seperate times, but within two days, and they both reacted the same way: screaming with joy.

For our second daughter, my first was six years old, so we told her early on, and she was the one who told the family. On [name]Easter[/name] sunday, at my parents house, with my in-laws, sister, brother, and sister-in-law, [name]Lily[/name] passed out “special” [name]Easter[/name] eggs to everyone. They were pink and blue and she told everyone that she made them for everyone and they had to open them on three. when they opened them they were filled with pink and blue confetti and a slip of paper that said “I’M HAVING A [name]NEW[/name] [name]BABY[/name] [name]SISTER[/name] OR BROTHER!” It was so fun to see everyone’s reactions. [name]Lily[/name] was very proud of herself for being the one to deliver the exciting news, I definitely recommend letting an older sibling do it as they feel really important.

For our third daughter, we had [name]Lily[/name] and [name]Scarlett[/name] point out a very special ornament on our tree to our family members- a picture frame ornament with a picture of the baby that said “[name]Baby[/name]'s First [name]Christmas[/name] 2007”. It was very sweet and they pretended like they were just showing off our decorations.

When we announced our twins, [name]Lily[/name] was eleven, [name]Scarlett[/name] was four, and [name]Isabelle[/name] was one. We decided to send out cards for this one, and let everyone figure it out. We took a picture of the girls on a black background, with me and my husband a few feet away to the right with my shirt rolled up and cradling my stomach. We edited the picture and put a plus sign between the kids and us and put an " = 7 " to the right of me and my husband. At the bottom, we wrote, “You do the math!”. Within a few days we had calls rolling in at every hour as our friends and family figured it out. We also had a gender reveal party for the twins, as we had found out about the singletons in the u/s room, and wanted to have a really special reveal with the family. We did the classic cut the cake to see the color thing, except we had two cakes, one inscribed with “[name]Baby[/name] A is a…” and the other one said “[name]Baby[/name] B is a…”. We had a little vote beforehand, and you got to wear two buttons, blue and blue, pink and pink, or pink and blue. Most of our family said blue and blue or pink and blue, because we already had three girls. We managed to shock them, and us, though, when we cut the cakes and discovered we would be having our fourth and fifth girls.

When we announced our little man, we sent out another card, this time a card that had a picture of the five girls on the front, wearing pink dresses and standing outside in a pile of baseballs, baseball bats, mitts, trucks, trains, toy cars, dinosaurs, and blue clothes. They had there hands over their mouths, eyes wide open, etc. and were told to look shocked. The inside of the card read “Toys and trains and trucks - oh my! The [name]Taylor[/name]'s are having a little guy!”. We waited to tell everyone until we knew the gender.

All in all, I just have a few tips:

  1. Include siblings if you have older children
  2. Be creative, it’s more fun if you do something the family isn’t expecting
  3. [name]Don[/name]'t just post it on facebook - sure, it’s fine, but it’s so much more exciting to see everyone light up when you tell them or have everyone call you when you send a cute card.

Cheers
[name]Sophie[/name] [name]Taylor[/name]

Wife to a handsome king - [name]William[/name] [name]Frederick[/name] [name]Taylor[/name]
Mommy to five beautiful princesses and one dashing prince
[name]Lily[/name] [name]Annemarie[/name] - 08.30.98 ([name]Lily[/name])
[name]Scarlett[/name] [name]Elaine[/name] - 9.22.05 ([name]Scarlett[/name])
[name]Isabelle[/name] [name]Katherine[/name] - 5.28.08 ([name]Isabelle[/name])
[name]Evelyn[/name] [name]Claire[/name] and [name]Charlotte[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name] - 7.4.10 ([name]Evie[/name] and [name]Charlotte[/name])
[name]James[/name] [name]Edward[/name] - 10.27.12 ([name]James[/name])

12

At least call or tell them face-to-face