Please give your opinion of my naming critieria and share your own.
We are having a daughter. I am American and my husband is [name_u]North[/name_u] [name_f]Indian[/name_f] and Hindu. We live in the USA.
Our criteria for a girl’s first name is:
Not super trendy. No [name_f]Aria[/name_f], [name_u]Arya[/name_u], [name_u]Aidan[/name_u], Etc. Those are pretty names, but we don’t want our daughter to be in the same class with another 2 girls who have the same name every year. If there are one or two other girls in the whole school with the same name, we would be fine with that. I don’t mind names that are going out of style unless they are super common, like [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f], because in 30 years this will seem like an old lady’s name.
Not overtly [name_f]Indian[/name_f] and difficult to pronounce. Shilpa sounds cute to Indians, but to Americans it’s an awkward or extremely unusual combination of sounds (and also extremely common in [name_f]India[/name_f]).
Not too contrived. We don’t want to westernize a traditional Hindu name too much unless the same spelling is used in [name_f]India[/name_f].
Not too obvious. We don’t want to pick a name like [name_f]Asha[/name_f] just because Americans are familiar with and can pronounce it easily. [name_f]Asha[/name_f] is a beautiful name, but we aren’t going for something just because Americans have heard of it.
It must be beautiful and represent each of us in some way.
Won’t be confused with another more traditional name or the wrong gender all the time.
Middle name criteria:
First and foremost, we have not found a family name that we want to use as a middle name, so we are going to use a name that goes well with the first name.
I feel that a middle name should be like a 2nd option for our daughter to use in case for some reason she dislikes her first name. So, for this reason the names should flow well together but have very different over all sounds/impressions. The more different the each sound from each other, the better.
I don’t agree with the modern opinion that syllables need to be mismatched, or that the first and middle names can’t start with the first letter. I’m very fond of music and look for musicality in a name. For example [name_f]Ashlee[/name_f] [name_f]Emilie[/name_f] sounds silly to me, whereas [name_u]Ashley[/name_u] [name_f]Anna[/name_f] is an improvement because the two names are very different in over all sound but flow together without too much redundancy. On the other hand, [name_u]Tatum[/name_u] [name_m]Troy[/name_m] is a hot mess because the letter “t” is what defines each name most so it ends up being over kill and choppy.
Hmm…If you don’t want to pick a name just b/c it’s easy for us to pronounce/we’ve heard of it so I assume you want a unheard of name, why not [name_f]Indian[/name_f] all over? [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry, we are used to different types of unusual, highly unusual, unheard of and distinct choices.
And…do you have any names on the list?
I am definitely considering a fully [name_f]Indian[/name_f] name too. I created a list and made it public but I don’t know how others can access it. Basically the name sets I am considering as of now are:
I also like the name Hemani, but am concerned it is slightly too cutesy. There have been many names on the finalists list, also Sundari [name_f]Rose[/name_f], Marilu, and Shaili. Lately my favorites are [name_f]Diana[/name_f] Karthayini and Ramayani [name_f]Rose[/name_f] because they each have the western and [name_f]Indian[/name_f] combo.
I agree with spelling: nothing bugs me more than when somebody takes a traditional name and tried to modernize it by changing the spelling. I am also not opposed to completely invented names, as long as they are truly original but still approachable, and not just silly and immature.
I agree for the most part, except perhaps with the musicality aspect. I have a hard time with alliteration, which makes it hard because I am pretty set on [name_f]Sofia[/name_f] as a middle name, and I feel it prevents me from considering any first names that start with S. I wish I didn’t feel this way!
My criteria for the “perfect” name for me is fairly similar to yours. Exchange [name_f]Indian[/name_f] with [name_m]German[/name_m]/Spanish.
I’d add two more rules to the list.
Name doesn’t have to be American or [name_f]Indian[/name_f] as long as we love it and it sounds beautiful in any language you child will be raised in.
A willingness to throw all the rules out of the window should you both fall in love with the same “perfect” name that otherwise doesn’t work. (Ex. if it’s [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] you can always choose something like Seema or Pritha as a mn.)
In essence I’d add a “it’s okay if it doesn’t fit any of our criteria” rule. You can always tell people “this is what we are looking for but if you have a suggestion you don’t think I will be able to live without let me hear it”. I’ve fallen in love (head over heals) with names I would have never considered before after joining NB -> if I were you I’d just give myself the permission to do so too. Doesn’t mean the perfect name won’t fit all those rules but maybe it won’t and you will never know unless you allow yourself that possibility.
Ramayani [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is a great name, never heard Ramayani before, but I really like how it sounds. It’s a good idea to use an [name_f]Indian[/name_f] and a more “American” name, so she can choose which one she likes better when she’s older.
I googled the name Ramayani and it came up with an Indonesian restaurant in LA. I called it and the owner pronounces it rama-YANEE as if these are two separate words smooshed together, and not ra-[name_f]MAYA[/name_f]-nee, which rhymes with [name_f]Hermione[/name_f]. So, I am seriously reconsidering whether this name is a candidate because Indians will never pronounce it the way I want AND it’s likely to get butchered by MOST Americans right off the bat.
Very sad, as my way of pronouncing it did sound lovely and I am so glad you think so. DH loves it too but is very biased in favor of an [name_f]Indian[/name_f] name, so he won’t come clean about the difference in how it’s pronounced.
Maybe you should ask several people, both [name_f]Indian[/name_f] and American, how they would pronounce the name by showing them it written. I’m not American, so I can’t really judge how it would be perceived by your community.
Yep, I started a thread! So far, most people don’t pronounce it the way I prefer to. Coupled with the fact that I’m technically pronouncing it incorrectly myself in order to love it, I think the name has become too contrived and diffiicult for further consideration
The same thing happened with Sundari [name_f]Rose[/name_f]. I don’t mind altering spelling a bit if I like a name enough, but pronouncing it wrong in order to love it is just a bit much.
A similar thing happened to me for the name Shailu. Husband insists he woul dpronounce it Shah-loo instead of shay-loo.
I am just not finding a viable name that I’m in love with and meets my criteria. I have to hope that I will fall in love with whatever I name my daughter because it will be HER name, so I don’t have to be in love with it beforehand.
I did a quick search on [name_f]Indian[/name_f] names now and I found some lovely names like Anila, Devika, [name_f]Amita[/name_f], [name_f]Ananda[/name_f], [name_f]Parvati[/name_f], [name_f]Indra[/name_f], Kalpana, Lilavati, Lavanya, Malini, [name_u]Nila[/name_u]. I think all these names would be pretty straight-forward when it comes to pronunciation, but maybe I’m wrong. You could go with something like [name_f]Parvati[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f], [name_f]Amita[/name_f] [name_f]Diana[/name_f], Malini [name_f]Audrey[/name_f], Lavanya [name_f]Claire[/name_f].
I do like your naming approach, except I disagree with #3 of your MN criteria.
I am [name_f]Indian[/name_f]-American ([name_f]Indian[/name_f] ancestry, born and raised in [name_u]California[/name_u]), and I’m not sure what my naming criteria/approach is. I’m “drawn” to more female “American” or more correctly, Western names, because of my education and the books I read, but then I am a Hindu so I’d like to use a name with some religious element perhaps. Oddly, I like a lot of [name_f]Indian[/name_f] boy’s names, but not so many girl’s names.
If you’re using an [name_f]Indian[/name_f] name, I’d use a short one. I think when people see a long [name_f]Indian[/name_f] name, it intimidates them and they’ll stumble on the pronunciation even if the name is phonic. That would be the issue with Ramayani, I believe.
I think your best chance is to share your short list with a couple of non biased people from both nationalities (no family) who can try to pronounce them & what comes to mind in their language. I like the idea of using one [name_f]Indian[/name_f] & one English name so she has the freedom to choose. Also double check the initials to be sure that it doesn’t spell something in either language.
Thanks for the input! I have been through all the Hindu names pretty extensively including a sanskrit database. I don’t like most of the girl names because they either are pronounced differently here (like shailu or sundari) or are TOO simple for me to like (like mala or isha). I haven’t found any names I haven’t already considered, so at this point we will probably use a Western first name like diana.
We are also considering [name_f]Annika[/name_f] even though it’s westernized and I really dislike how Indians pronounce it too. Uh-NEEK-uh. I say it [name_f]Ann[/name_f]-ikuh.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] in the west, I’m not sure you’d get the [name_f]Annika[/name_f] pronunciation you want all the time. All of the [name_f]Annika[/name_f]'s I know are AHN-ih-kah.
I think your best bet would be to use something you like the pronunciation of in English, even if it has a different pronunciation in [name_f]India[/name_f].
Yes, I have a really hard with [name_f]Indian[/name_f] girl’s names too. Over the years, I’ve gone through several websites and such, and can’t find anything I like either. I like a few boys names, but nothing for the girls. I don’t like the super-simple names, and I don’t like the long, frilly ones either, and so many have out-dated, anti-feminist meanings I don’t like, i.e., “Kumari” means virgin, or “Maya” means illusion, it refers to sort of worldly, materialistic illusion. The meanings of Indian names are tricky. There’s a bunch of popular short names that people are starting to use and twist the meanings of. There’s Arya/Aryan, which got popular after it was used by a major Bollywood actor. It’s being passed off as meaning “noble”, but it’s a direct reference to the “noble” Aryans, who (maybe, it’s debated in the academic community) came into India @ 1500 BC, or “Anaya” which people now say means “one of a kind” or “incomparable” but it also means homeless, orphaned - “one of a kind” in that you’re alone and wandering the earth (that’s the way it’s used in religious texts).
I think Apsara and Mayuri (NN Sara and May perhaps) are o.k., but don’t love them. And I do like my own name, but it already been used.
Those “simple” girls names are so trendy in the [name_f]Indian[/name_f]-American community too - if your husband and you have a lot of [name_f]Indian[/name_f]-American family and/or family here, you’ll probably encounter them. I know multiple people with the names [name_f]Priya[/name_f], [name_f]Isha[/name_f]/Eesha, Anayas, [name_f]Tara[/name_f], [name_f]Maya[/name_f] etc. I also know a few [name_f]Indian[/name_f] [name_f]Natasha[/name_f]'s. P
I think you’re safe if you pick an [name_f]Indian[/name_f] name that you like the “American pronunciation” of. Most of the time, my name is pronounced the American way (without the “y”, which is really difficult for Americans) because I am around English speakers at school and most of my day.
Yep, my name happens to be [name_f]Natasha[/name_f] and it’s nice to have the flexibility. And yeah, [name_f]Maya[/name_f] not only means Illusion, there is even a demon in Hindu mythology. I am sure glad I researtched the spelling of [name_f]Dayana[/name_f] instead of [name_f]Diana[/name_f], too!
My son is named Tejan, by the way. I kind of invented this name by combining Gajen (from Gajendran but with American pronounciation) and [name_m]Tejas[/name_m], and then found out if was a legitemate but extremely uncommon name even in [name_f]India[/name_f], and it has a lovely range of meanings in Sanskrit.
My husband likes that it sounds Punjabi. It does get mispronounced when people read it but that doesn’t bother me because it’s an easy fix. Still, when somebody asks his name, they don’t USE it right off the bat, which is too bad because it’s pretty simple.
I would pick Sundari, but I can see why many Indians think it’s silly and I don’t like how it sounds when DH says it. I would think a girl named beautiful or pretty was laughable too and that’s basically how obvious the meaning is.
I agree about the anti-feminist names. In fact, it was why I decided against mayuri. I want my daughter to have a name that means something virtuous or bold, not tiny and fragile like a peahen. But it IS a beautiful word. And yeah, I don’t want my daughter to have the same indian-american name [name_u]Arya[/name_u] that all the other Western moms are giving their half-indian daughters, either. DH loved the name Aryan for a boy until I had my husband google it.
ETA: I actually just looked up “peahen” and see now that I was somewhat foolish in my earlier comments about the meaning of the name mayuri. I thought a peahen was some other kind of small bird. It’s meaning as a peacock is nice because I know that’s actually pretty “auspicious”.
So, thanks for bringing it up:-) IT’s back on my list.
