I’ve been coming up with names for my book characters and future children of mine for years now (at least 15 years) and I love to see what other fellow name-lovers come up with. But when I look through the forums on here I can’t help but feel bad for some of these kids after seeing what their parents have named them. It seems like they’re more focused on having a “creative, cool name” than one that will give their children a future. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but looking at some signatures on here I see names like
“[name_f]Ariadne[/name_f], [name_m]Casimir[/name_m], [name_m]Endymion[/name_m], Tinuviel, Faramir”.
These names sound like they belong in LOTR not on real life people.
This post isn’t meant to cause offence, it’s just been on my mind for a while. Some of these names are fun to daydream about or talk about her on here, but that’s where they should stay
I do think that some of the names people use- both here on Nameberry and in real life- are a bit fanciful or are simply not something I would choose, but I know that the parents at least put a lot of thought and love into naming their kids. I’d personally rather see an [name_f]Agnes[/name_f] named after a great-aunt than a Bryttannyee (actual spelling someone in my neighborhood used recently) named because it was “so unique”, but I guess it just boils down to individual tastes/choice. Not everyone likes the same names, which is great 
I will say, though, that I do feel bad for children who are given names that are offensive, embarrassing, or have totally butchered spellings…because those names will undoubtedly cause them some trouble of some sort at some point, even if it is ‘just’ having to correct teachers or spell their names constantly.
It is also worth mentioning that not all of the users on here have children or want them. Some of them really do love names and coming up with combinations, even if they will not be used on real children someday. I will say that I’ve noticed that those who are expecting or picking names for their future children do put lots of thought into their choices…even asking about popularity, usability, teasing potential, and so on. They care and aren’t doing it out of malice
[name_f]Ariadne[/name_f] is on my list. As a middle, but only because I love her with my chosen first name ([name_f]Catalina[/name_f]). I have no problem using [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f] as a first either. In my defence, it’s an awesome name with awesome meaning (most holy, but without sounding noticeably religious because I am not). It seems perfectly wearable with the nickname [name_f]Aria[/name_f], [name_u]Ari[/name_u] or even [name_f]Annie[/name_f] -and I like greek mythology. It’s super close to the more popular [name_f]Ariana[/name_f] or [name_f]Arianne[/name_f] and yet somehow it made it to your poor-kid-has-an-awful-name list. 
I actually like [name_m]Casimir[/name_m] as well, but the meaning bothers me so it’s on the GP. The other three are nms, although… I do have [name_f]Arwen[/name_f], Aragorn, etc as middles. Why? Because I love the name and the story. At least I’ll have great books to read to my kids. I feel bad more for people with misspelled or embarrassing names, but definitely not [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f].
Many of the Berries who have actual kids have given them totally realistic and wearable names. Most people default to more “normal” names when it comes to naming real children, not just hypothetical ones.
Rest assured, most people just gather on this website because we appreciate names and it’s one of the more open minded communities (meaning no one is going to flame you if you let it slip you’re not actually pregnant or aren’t actively TTC). In the meanwhile, why not have fun with names? You hit the nail on the head in your post: most people are just here to daydream or to talk about names. Signatures aren’t always totally reflective of someone’s naming-an-actual-flesh-and-blood-child name sense.
It bothers me immensely when people say they feel sorry for a child with such and such for name, if the name isn’t offensive (I’m talking like, name-your-child-[name_m]Adolf[/name_m]-Hitler-or-[name_m]Aryan[/name_m]-Nation offensive), or if it’s not a completely butchered spelling that no one can make sense out of (I’m talking like Heyleiah or Bryttannyee as opposed to Hayleigh and Brittanie)
If someone picks Kenadie over [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] - what does it matter to you?
If someone wants to name their daughter [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f], so be it, it’s not that big of a deal if YOU dislike someone else’s choice - it’s not your child to name.
If they ask for opinions, then by all means, tell them that you dislike it, BUT, to tell someone that you feel sorry for their child because you don’t like their choice in name?! That’s absurdity at its finest. It’s one of those things you keep to yourself - like, would you say it in person? No, probably not.
This topic kind of hits a sore spot for me, as I’m constantly feeling the need to apologize because my style “doesn’t fit” or because people liked my old style better, etc.
If you don’t like another person’s style, that’s your opinion, your likes/dislikes, etc and no one needs to be told that their opinion is valid - however, there’s a way to tell someone you dislike a style of name with respect - “I’m sorry but it’s not my thing”, or “I really don’t like it” or “I don’t think it works” would be much nicer than “I’d feel sorry for a child with this name” or “______ is a boy’s name.” or “It’s tacky/low-class/downmarket”. It’s totally valid and normal to dislike someone else’s style - it’d be weird and boring if we all liked the same, HOWEVER, it’s also totally valid and normal for a person to like whatever they like. No one should feel the need to apologize or the need to feel ashamed for liking a name (or anything!!)
I think sometimes on the internet people forget that the posters they’re talking to have feelings too, whether they’re singling them out in posts like this one, or commenting on a thread, etc. so etiquette and respect are thrown out the window, but honestly, telling someone you feel sorry for their child for having a certain name is right up there with labeling a name as “child abuse” - if you wouldn’t say it to the person’s face, don’t say it to them over the internet either.
Ok, rant over.
I’ve met some pretty uniquely named kids, and they all seem fine… So no I tend not to feel bad for the children unless the name is something that is offensive. I’m pretty sure a little Faramir will do fine.
(Clearly I prefer less ‘out there names’ even in my imaginings I tend to choose well known options, but that doesn’t mean everyone should. I do have more ‘unique’ preferences, including [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f] and [name_f]Marigold[/name_f], which I consider to be completely wearable).
*See [name_u]Haley[/name_u]'s response. I agree with that.
I do. I wouldn’t ever go up to somebody and tell them “what were you thinking” but it’s definitely something I think and something I’d talk to somebody else about.
I think it’s also fair to say “it’s a bit much”, “I’d spell it differently” and “your kid might not appreciate this later on” on here; I think a forum should be more than praising names and keeping your mouth shut if you don’t like the name, it should lead to discussions and show different views.
Personally, I think most of the names you mentioned are fine while there’s a totally different group of names that make me feel sorry for a kid.
It’s a bit like I’d feel sorry for a kid whose parents make them wear a really terrible outfit, it doesn’t really affect me personally and they might not even mind (but maybe the do) and others might think it’s the greatest outfit ever but I can still feel sorry for them.
Yeah, for me it’s the made up names. I might dislike names such as [name_f]Sara[/name_f], [name_u]Elliott[/name_u], or [name_u]Blake[/name_u]-on-a-girl, but I wouldn’t go so far as to feel sorry for a child named that. At least they are real names with a history of use. It’s the ones with names like Boomer or [name_f]Petal[/name_f] [name_f]Blossom[/name_f] [name_f]Rainbeau[/name_f] that I feel sorry for. (Picking on celebrities so as not to offend anyone on NB.) I personally would not appreciate it if my mother had decided to name me that just to make a statement.
Kre8iv spellings kind of bother me, but I would only feel sorry for the child because they have a long life of correcting people on how to spell their name ahead of them. Not because the name itself is bad. Like [name_u]Haley[/name_u]'s example, Kenadie v. [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u]. Kenadie will have to constantly correct people her whole life, [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u] won’t. But they are still essentially the same name and neither spelling will confuse people on how to pronounce it at least. Spellings like Kennuhddiey…yeah, that is confusing and I would feel a bit sorry for that child.
I agree with [name_u]Haley[/name_u], too, that there are nicer ways to comment that you dislike a name that isn’t your style. And that’s ok. But I wouldn’t go so far as to feel sorry for a child named [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f], for instance, simply because the name isn’t your style. At least, [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f] has a long history of use and meaning. It belongs to a culture and is, in fact, a very strong, sophisticated choice, different without being too out-there.
So, yeah, in short, I do feel sorry for the children who will have to wear totally made-up names or confusingly kre8iv names (at least until they are old enough to legally change it). But I would never tell a specific person that in the forums about their child’s name, not even if they are asking for opinions. Then it’s just better not to reply to the thread at all.
I’ve met some very strangely named people in my life (Ashtray for example) and they’ve all worn their names well. I don’t feel bad for anyone’s kids based on their names. Is the child loved and taken care of? If yes, then there’s no need to feel bad. The parents probably put a lot of thought into the name. They can always go by their middle name, a nickname, initials (think AJ), or like my husband and a complete new name. Some people might appreciate having a “strange” name!
I’m never having kids but honestly, this sentiment makes me feel so uncomfortable.
If I were to say I feel bad for them, it would come off like I was concerned for the child’s well-being and thought they’d have a negative upbringing. And that’s a rather offensive thing to insinuate to a parent simply based off their child’s name. For that reason, I don’t feel bad for children who have names that I dislike. I can dislike a name without making it into an almost ethical concern and debate of well-being.
I don’t want this to come off harsh, but it’s something to consider. And obviously this excludes particularly harmful names.
I usually think more in terms of why their parents would use a certain name, but I don’t often feel sorry for the child themselves (see penultimate long paragraph). People have different styles of names they like, or that they think are usable. In a selfish way, I like when people use names I’m not a big fan of. It means the names I do like/would use are still there to amaze and dazzle in comparison without being old news. Or at least I think they will, because I prefer them, if that makes sense lol.
[name_m]Just[/name_m] from that it’s quite obvious people will value different things and what names they might feel ‘sorry’ a child has. I personally would be so excited to meet an [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f] or [name_m]Casimir[/name_m], even [name_m]Endymion[/name_m], although I’m not a fan of the name, or kids with any of those names, because they’re interesting, unusual, different, and memorable, some with a bit of geek cred too. That’s what I like. Meanwhile names that some may see as suitable for real life (maybe classics or more popular names for example) I wouldn’t use because I think there are so many more gorgeous, but still usable, unusual names out there that could be found with some research. It’s also why I don’t comment on names I don’t like because I know my opinion won’t change theirs, and I don’t think it should (as I said, more great names for me). I know that if people criticise my name choices, unless it’s an actual bad association I don’t know of, I just get really defensive, which is why I don’t ask for opinions haha.
Another thing is, I tend to think most names work when I actually hear them on a person, and connect it with their personality. Names suddenly become a lot more usable when I hear them on a person. I might not always like them, but I’ve found people tend to make names their own and not vice versa. I know someone whose nickname is [name_u]Cloud[/name_u], and even though it’s not her actual name, she genuinely suits [name_u]Cloud[/name_u], she’s not even the sort of person you might expect a ‘[name_u]Cloud[/name_u]’ to be.
And in all honesty, I think berry babies tend to have a mix of name styles, popularities etc., which is so nice to see. A lot of people have non namenerd SOs to consider, some don’t want to have kids and just like names, or are naming characters, some (like me) want kids, but don’t have SOs and/or may never have one. And I’ve also found Nameberry is generally welcoming to any name style, including more unusual choices. Other sites tend to automatically brand them as too weird or out there to be used (with little or no explanation why), and prefer more mainstream choices.
Anyway, I went off on a few tangents, but my final answer is no, but I sometimes question the parents (internally).
As long as a name isn’t something offensive or spelled so unique it doesn’t even look the name intended then I don’t feel bad for anyone. Everyone’s style is different what you might cringe having as a name others might love. I might say to myself that’s NMSAA but that’s ok! [name_m]How[/name_m] boring would the world be if everyone had the same style? I’ve been into names since 2008/2009 and my style has changed so much. I’ve also gotten older and matured. Names that once seemed a bit odd now seem nice. [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f] in particular doesn’t strike me as weird or [name_m]OTT[/name_m] at all. I think once you get the pronunciation down on that name it doesn’t see weird at all. It’s definitely not common but I do think it’s pretty!
Additionally, I think many of the signatures here are not realistic of what that individual would actually name a baby. This is a site where people who just love names come. My signature is realistic now but when I was younger it wasn’t at times!
I love [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f], [name_m]Casimir[/name_m] and [name_m]Endymion[/name_m] but I also love [name_m]Arthur[/name_m], [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] etc. People can have diverse taste and if it isn’t offensive - like Hitler or Muaviye in my case - then it is their style and choice.
I only feel sorry for offensive or super creative spellings. In real life, I’ve only ever felt sorry for two kids, one whose name is spelt so weirdly I still can’t aways get it right after two years and another who is the youngest of 4 and her grandmother basically forced her mother to use certain names so the kid is stuck with Je@nna Dorc@s…no joke, and her siblings have amazing names, her mother hates the name so she subconsciously avoids using it. Names with history are lovely, especially with modern nicknames , it gives the child choice (e.g [name_u]Ari[/name_u] and [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f])
[name_m]How[/name_m] incredibly patronizing to say that you feel sorry for a child because their name isn’t to your liking. Unless the child’s name is inappropriate or offensive in some way, I don’t see why it matters. I feel sorry for children who aren’t loved and cared for as they should be. I don’t feel sorry for children because their names aren’t my style.
I’m my own case in point on this topic so I probably have much less fear that a name is too “out there” or “guilty pleasure” to use than the average person. I have an unusual, fanciful name that many older people from the [name_m]New[/name_m] [name_m]York[/name_m] area especially don’t like very much, but that has not stopped me from achieving my career goals and earning an excellent salary. Furthermore, unusual names will be more common in the future and people will bat an eye at them a lot less.
I look at prescibers names every day and unusual ones are commonplace, especially if you count the many physicians from minority ethnic groups with names that reflect their heritage. Still, the most unusual name I have noticed was [name_f]Gypsy[/name_f].
That is not to say I am a fan of all names. I don’t like [name_u]Messiah[/name_u] or [name_m]Cohen[/name_m] or [name_f]Melena[/name_f] or Negan or [name_m]Nero[/name_m] as names, but I believe children with any of those names can become a doctor. Also, they can use their middle name or a nickname or initials. It’s just a name in the end. I believe merit still does matter to any employer worth its salt. If an employer would discriminate against me for my name, I wouldn’t want to work for them anyway.
Lol… I’d love to know what you make of my full list. They likely will be used on children I will definitely have. I’ll get back to you on that.
However I’m with you on Tinuviel. We can blame a troll account for introducing that a few years ago and it doesn’t seem to have left. However you are equating made-up-in-the-70s-for-bad-fiction names with ‘‘legitimate’’ ancient names with a deep history in human tradition (Casimir, Ariadne, etc.). Whether this equation is accurate or not… subjective but probably inaccurate.
The broad question of whether they should be used on real children - that’s a different question all together and probably not suitable for a naming forum. I’ve already typed more than I wanted to because this type of thread is never really that useful.
I think it’s really condescending, to be honest.
TBH, I think “weirdness” in regards to names is in the eye of the beholder. My SO is Latino and we’ve chosen Spanish names for our children and I’ve caught some flack for that from people on this site who have claimed the names sound “made up” or “weird”. They’re not. They’re just not the Charlottes and Henrys and Olivias and [name_m]Williams[/name_m] that most people in the US/UK are used to.
A lot of names that are quite popular on this site aren’t my style at all. Off the NB Popular list: [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f], [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], [name_f]Penelope[/name_f], [name_f]Violet[/name_f]… I’ve seen [name_f]Ottilie[/name_f] around a lot and that one is just ??? to me. I still wouldn’t feel bad for a child who had them, though, because I can respect that they are names that the child’s parents love, that perhaps hold some special meaning for the family, that objectively flow prettily and sound nice spoken aloud (there’s a good reason they’re popular!) and that - most importantly - that aren’t really any of my business at all.
To feel bad for a child because of their name is disrespectful, [name_f]IMO[/name_f]. At the end of the day, the kids’ names that matter to someone are those of their kids and their kids alone. As others have commented, outright offensive names (Hitler.) are worth more concern, but kreeaytive spellyngs and names from other cultures (especially when said child is part of said culture!) and generally unique names aren’t worth “feeling bad” for a kid about.
I’ve seen and heard so many strange names.
I wouldn’t ever name a child a combo of my name and my partner’s, I wouldn’t start uttering fancy sounding syllables until some of those form something resembling a name or a detergent brand, I wouldn’t adapt a foreign name without caring about Spanish spelling rules, I wouldn’t use a celebrity name, last name and all. But I’ve met people whose parents obviously did and parents who were planning on doing it and it doesn’t matter as much as you’d think. Most people just go with it and that’s that. Nobody asks right away “why is your name Briyilex” if they ever do. Names are not as important in most daily aspects of life as we build them up to be here in Nameberry.
My name is not made up but it’s uncommon, it almost always needs spelling, some kids in elementary did a very good job to bully me with it for a while, one time a highschool teacher audibly said “sheesh, these names” after reading mine. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think I care? no! I love it.