When people on these threads say negative comments about a name that’s actually the name of your child? Tell me I’m not alone. It’s just hard not to take it personal sometimes.
I don’t really take it personally because I do not like a lot of the popular names on here. But, I think people should be more tactful when they give an opinion on a name. Taste in names varies from person to person, just because a name is not one you would choose…doesn’t make that person the worst parent on earth for choosing a particular name.
I don’t have any kids, but I think it’d bother me incredibly. I come here for advice to try and pick the best name possible, and yeah, I want to hear if something’s going to be a nightmare. But if I’ve already named the kid and it belongs to one perfect little baby/child, I don’t want to hear that criticism anymore. I already strongly dislike hearing criticism over [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f], and it’s just a name I’ve loved for eons.
I try very hard not to talk down about somebody’s child’s name if I know it’s their child’s name–“I have two girls, [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] and [name_f]Molly[/name_f], and need a name for a third. I’m thinking about [name_f]Lucille[/name_f], [name_f]Gemma[/name_f], and [name_f]Susanna[/name_f], wdyt?” [name_m]Even[/name_m] though I strongly dislike [name_f]Molly[/name_f], what point in there is mentioning it? It’s not a bad name. And the choice is already made. No need to cause frustration or doubt or aggravation (or anger!). That being said, if you have a daughter named [name_f]Delilah[/name_f], and I talk about how strongly I dislike [name_f]Delilah[/name_f]–and how much it offends me, religiously–and I’m just stating it in general, and without knowing that you have a daughter named [name_f]Delilah[/name_f], I’m not sure how much that can be helped. I feel like if someone wants opinions on a name, I’ll give it, and I’ll try and be kind and tactful, and if it’s not a bad name, I’ll try to minimize my criticism so it won’t try and detract the poster from using a name they love but I hate–but if I unintentionally say something negative about your child’s name, it’s not done on purpose. It’s not done with malice. There are some pretty good chances that there’s at least one mom or dad reading the threads that has a child with a name that at least one person has bashed/criticized on this site. In that situation, though, I feel like you should take it with a grain of salt, because there’s not much you can do about that type of situation, honestly.
I think [name_u]Ashley[/name_u] made some very good points, but I agree that if someday I had kids and read negative comments on their names, I would be a little bummed. though I wouldn’t pin it on the posters, assuming they aren’t intentionally offending me. (And assuming they are being fairly tactful.) I would just frown a little if someone called [name_f]Amaryllis[/name_f] a stripper name or something.
You’re not alone.
I was browsing a thread on here about “bad names” (I don’t remember what it was actually called.), and ALL my kids names were mentioned(and ripped apart) at least once. The two biggies being [name_u]Bentley[/name_u](NOT named after a car. It happens to be an old family name.) & [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f].(Named after my hubby’s deceased mother, NOT a book character or doomed [name_f]Princess[/name_f].) What really bothers me most is when a name gets labeled something negative and then everyone feeling the need to criticize without bothering to learn why that name was chosen.
I try not to take it personal but when its your already here child(ren), it can be a little difficult.
[name_f]My[/name_f] daughter’s name is [name_f]Violet[/name_f] - and I’ve seen the comments about it associated with ‘violent’. I find it annoying but not hurtful, because I truly love her name and it’s association with my grandmother. I don’t love everyone’s taste in names on here either. On a forum where people are asking for opinions/feedback on names, people will give their opinions whether you agree with it or not. Taste is subjective, it’s not a personal attack.
It bothers me more that in real life my sister-in-law made the ‘violent’ comment when my partner disclosed our chosen names before she was born, without her opinion being asked for.
I think those that bluntly make comments like “XYZ is a stripper name” or “ABC is a tacky name” are just plain rude. Better to just say NMS (Not my Style). Sometimes I will say why a name is NMS- eg I’ve heard the name too often. But that doesn’t mean it’s a ‘bad’ name- just that it personally doesn’t suit me in my own context.
Rudeness overall doesn’t bother me too much, I just reflect that the poster has probably not had the same upbringing as me regarding being sensitive and open to other people’s perspectives and choices.
Yes, I’ve seen comments about the names my own children have, but hey… truthfully often those making the comments have names in their own signatures that I think are plain weird or ugly- so their opinion is of little merit to me- if that makes logical sense?
If someone comments on the name of a child who already exists, I would find that rude. However, this is a name forum and if posters want to know our thoughts on, say, the name [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] before the child is born, I think it’s perfectly fine for us to give our honest opinions on the name, even if it isn’t rainbows and butterflies. There are bound to be parents out there who have a daughter named [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] and if they read the thread, they’ll have to accept that people are giving honest opinions and if they don’t want to read anything negative about the name, they should probably avoid the thread.
Keep in mind, for every name mentioned on this forum, there is most likely a mother and father out there who has chosen it for their daughter and may be hurt by even the most benign comment about it. That’s unfortunate, but short of people only giving vanilla opinions from now on, I don’t see a way around it.
Meh. Whilst I don’t love having people say bad things about names I like, it doesn’t bother me very much. I know they’re not targeting me, my possible future kids or anyone’s actual children – they just happen to dislike certain names, which people are entitled to do.
I agree with gabriela. When someone asks for opinions on names, I’m going to give my opinion. If I feel there’s a bad association with a name, I’ll say it. [name_m]Just[/name_m] putting ‘NMS’ in place of a negative opinion kind of defeats the objective of asking for opinions imo. As long as what’s written isn’t rude I think it’s fine.
I suppose people have different views on what’s rude though. Personally, “I think X is a boring name” doesn’t seem rude to me, but “If you pick X, then you’re boring/unoriginal/dull/unimaginative” is
I definitely don’t have kids, but it does hurt when people criticize my name unfairly; it’s kre8if, to be sure, but when I found it on someone’s user list as a ‘stripper name’? Ouch.
I haven’t seen too much negative but I’m new to the scene! Everyone is different and entitled to their opinion but you can still be respectful of others and not rip it apart. I usually say I don’t personally like it or sometimes I do like it but wouldn’t choose it. I like more of the not so popular names for my kids but that’s not for everyone!
Absolutely not! Different people, different ideas, different love for names makes for a beautiful colored balloon world!
I havent really been here long and haven’t noticed anything bad being said about either of my girls names but if I did it wouldn’t bother me. Most of our family members didn’t like the names when we chose them but we love them and they fit our girls perfectly. Everyone has different taste and if I saw someone criticizing the names [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] or [name_f]Estella[/name_f] I wouldn’t think twice about it honestly.
I agree with @CharlieandPerry. I come on here for opinions, and I’d rather someone tell me the truth about the names I’m considering than have them just say “NMS” if there is an association I’m overlooking. Obviously, statements like, “That’s a mean girl name” or “You’re stupid for liking it” are not helpful, but I’d rather someone be blunt because I know other people in real life will be thinking it. It wouldn’t be a very helpful forum if we all only gave positive opinions.
I’am not a mother so i’am not sure how I would react but I dont think parents should take comments personaly.
We say these comments based on the name itself not the name your child likes. For example I dislike the name [name_u]Ruby[/name_u] but if I meet a little girl named [name_u]Ruby[/name_u] i’am sure I would like the name.
You choose a name meaningfull & important to you so I dont think you need to be bothered by any negative comments. In the end no name is being loved by everyone .
I agree about the stripper’s name though. I found it quite sad when a person saids that a name sounds like a stripper’s name. I have hear strippers being called [name_u]Blaize[/name_u] & [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] for example so I guess the classiest of names is in fact a stripper’s name lol.
Anyway I dont think any of what I write make sense but whatever…
I basically agree with everything @bellerose has said. I haven’t got kids yet, but sometimes I do feel a bit discouraged with bad comments about names I really like, but more often than not, I just get more defensive about them. Tbh, quite a few of the names I like get more negative comments than positive (not on Nameberry, but on other sites/forums), so they’re starting to get easier to ignore. I’m hoping by the time I come to have kids, not much is going to bother me.
Not alone at all. I have mentioned my children’s names on here before and [name_f]Lilla[/name_f] is not always well recieved. [name_f]My[/name_f] issue is when I have specifically stated that this is my child’s name and I am looking for names that fit well with my existing childrens names for some reason people still want to critique them. I’m not asking everyone to like the same names I like but I’m not really looking to re-evaluate the names my children already have.
Yes, I agree with you there. If you’ve specifically mentioned that it’s your existing child’s name, it’s rude to make negative comments about it.
I was reading the initial poster’s statement as more that if you’re child is named [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], you get offended when another poster starts a thread about opinions on [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] and some of the comments are negative. If we can’t give our opinions because someone reading it might not like them, I don’t see the point of being part of the forum in the first place!
Definitly agree with this .
Yeah. I already hate it when people criticise my favourite names, so I think I’ll definitely be irritated when people make rude comments about my (future) children’s names. Buuuutttt, I’ll calm down after a while and think objectively. Like how they stated it? If they have a good point, I think I can accept that. We can’t all love the same name, we have different taste. But if they just said “it’s really ugly, it’s trashy, ridiculous, etc” I think it’ll hurt me even more and I’ll try to ignore that member’s opinion in the future.