[name_m]Hi[/name_m], I’m [name_m]John[/name_m]. I’m a gay man having problems deciding on a name with my husband, and my sister recommended this forum. Here’s the issue: We are expecting a baby girl via a surrogate in late [name_f]September[/name_f]. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband loves the name [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], in honor of [name_m]Bob[/name_m] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], who we’re both big fans of. I don’t- I prefer classic names ([name_f]Caroline[/name_f], [name_f]Anna[/name_f], etc.), and I worry that as the daughter of a gay couple, our child will be facing enough gender issues even without an androgynous name. I also don’t want anyone to think that we’re trying to make our daughter androgynous or a lesbian, as ridiculous as that might sound. I know [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] is used for girls as well, but it’s so popular for boys that it seems very masculine to me. But my husband has wanted to name his future child [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] since he was a teenager and will barely consider other options. I would suggest using [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] for a future son instead, but there’s a good chance that this will be our only child.
If it weren’t for the gender issue, I would be ok with [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]. But I’m already worried that my daughter will feel like less of a girl or woman because she has two dads, and I don’t want her name to worsen things. Am I overreacting? Any advice? Thanks in advance.
What a coincidence! Our good friends are a lesbian couple who named their 5 year old girl Dylan. It never in a million years crossed my mind that they were giving her a masculine name. They too named her after their shared love of Bob Dylan. They themselves have very effeminate names. I believe Dylan is becoming more and more associated with girls these days. Even before I met them, if I were to hear the name Dylan I would guess 50/50 girl or boy, and lean more towards girl.
Name your daughter the name you all love.
Really, you are over thinking this. If he has his heart set on Dylan and you like it, believing you should pass on it because people will think you are giving her an androgynous name is a terrible reason. No one is going to think that, seriously. And your husband is going to resent the hell out of you for it. Name her Dylan, I think you are going to regret it if you don’t.
My husband and I personally prefer masculine names for girls and named our girls Vail and Miller. They are all girl and I’ve always dressed them in classic girl clothes, (think British style). The dichotomy between their names and the classic girl style I think makes them all that more interesting. Ha! I know I am also over thinking this.
I completely understand your fears—they seem like very natural concerns to come up, but I do not think you need to worry. Androgynous names are all the rage these days, truly. I know baby girls [name_u]Ryan[/name_u], [name_u]Sailor[/name_u], [name_u]Ashton[/name_u], [name_u]Parker[/name_u], and [name_u]Peyton[/name_u]. And they are all fluffball girly girls too. I would be thrilled to meet a baby girl [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]! and your daughter will be who she is, regardless of her name.
If you prefer the classic feminine names, you could always girl [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] up with a middle like [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], [name_f]Katherine[/name_f]. [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]? [name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]? Pretty cute!
People are always going to have opinions on babies, baby names, parents, how children are raised, etc. They are ALWAYS going judge, and while I am aware that you and your husband may face a deal more adversity in this sense (which is unfortunate) than some others, I personally think you should do what you want.
[name_u]Love[/name_u] your baby and pick a name that makes you both happy everyday! You’ll never regret it. ”
Best of luck x
I agree with PPs, unisex names are the trend right now, so no one is going to think twice about your name choice. [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] is a great name for your daughter, if it’s something both of you agree on. Like PPs said, she won’t be alone in a group of girl Elliots, Parkers, Averys, Arlos, Charlies.
However, if you really don’t like the name, you have to find a compromise. [name_m]Both[/name_m] parents should have veto power over a name.
Frankly, [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] on a girl is awful regardless of her parents’ genders – it’s a boy’s name, and a boy’s name only. Boy’s names on girls are, without exception, tacky, trendy, instantly dated, and eminently regrettable. That said, you should use the name you love. And congratulations in advance – I’m a queer woman, and it’s awesome to see members of the tribe welcome a new addition to their family. 
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] as a first name for a baby girl would totally work! I think of [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] as a name that’s traditionally masculine but that can also be used for females (like [name_u]Riley[/name_u], [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Avery[/name_u], etc.) A little baby girl [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] would be adorable! If you go with [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] as her first name I would offset it by giving her a pretty feminine middle. I was doing some email correspondence at work once with a person named [name_u]Tyler[/name_u] [name_m]Christian[/name_m] [name_m]Jones[/name_m] and when I met them and she turned out to be a woman, I was surprised. I feel like she probably gets that a lot, and it seemed like it was annoying to her. I think [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] paired with a feminine middle would be lovely. Some fun suggestions:
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Amelia[/name_f]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Sophia[/name_f]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Camille[/name_f]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Adelaide[/name_f]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Violet[/name_f]
I say no.
And it is not because she has two dads.
It is because I grew up with a mother that did not want girls. So, she gave her girls as boyish of names as she could come up with back in those days. And whenever someone gives a boy name to a girl, it comes off like that.
Unisex names can be great.
I have never heard of a girl feeling like less of a girl because of having two dads. [name_f]My[/name_f] friends (2 dads) who had a baby girl frilled up her nursery so much and she has all the best clothes. Later, they had twin boys. I know they had really hoped for a boy with her and then gave her a unisex name. But I know they love her with all their hearts. I do not think [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] is unisex. I think it is just a boy name that is being used for some girls. [name_f]Sue[/name_f] does not suddenly become a unisex name because someone gave it to a boy. I have also seen [name_u]Michael[/name_u], [name_m]Jon[/name_m], and [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] on girls. Also not unisex.
Some truly unisex names would be [name_u]Avery[/name_u], [name_u]Riley[/name_u], [name_u]Landry[/name_u], etc.
Good luck and congrats on your little girl!
First I would like to say I totally agree with what Michelle22 posted.
I understand your worry for your daughter but I think you name your daughter whatever you like! I personally [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] for a girl, but I couldn’t use it because I have a cousin named [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]. I would just give her a more feminine MN.
What about using [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] as a MN? [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] has a beautiful ring to it.
Your opinion is just as important as his, and if you don’t like [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] (for whatever reason), then you guys need to find another name. I personally don’t think it sounds at all like a girls name, but I also don’t like unisex names. Ask him to come up with a list of other names he likes and would be willing to use, and see if any of those work for you.
Stick to your guns and save [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] for a future son. [name_m]Both[/name_m] of you need to love the name. Also, one of my pet peeves is boys names on girls. It makes zero sense to me. Maybe you could meet in the middle of unisex and classic. [name_m]How[/name_m] about these less frilly names:
[name_f]Frances[/name_f]
[name_f]Tessa[/name_f]
[name_f]Phoebe[/name_f]
[name_f]Zoe[/name_f]
[name_f]Norah[/name_f]
[name_f]Josephine[/name_f]
[name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]
[name_f]Daphne[/name_f]
[name_f]Stella[/name_f]
[name_f]Lola[/name_f]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] is a boy’s name. If you don’t love it, I would keep looking, especially if you think she will be your only child. She should have a name that you both love. Maybe you could talk your husband into using [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] for her middle name?
I don’t like [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] on a girl, but considering your situation, I think you should use it as a middle name and then choose a more feminine first name.
Oh for goodness sake-[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] is what she will make of it. It isn’t about a boy/girl issue it is about the individual…a person can most of the time become the name or the name will become the person! I like [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] and can always pair it up with a femmy middle name and perhaps when she is an adult she may enjoy her middle more. Chances are she will swing her lovely hair back give a charming smile and OWN it!
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Alaina[/name_f]!
I’m really not a fan of [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] on a girl, regardless of who the parents are - but that’s just not my style. If you love it though, then go for it! There’s plenty of unisex names that are popular - look at [name_u]Harper[/name_u], [name_u]Addison[/name_u], [name_u]Aubrey[/name_u], [name_u]Avery[/name_u], [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Alexis[/name_u], etc. [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] would get a few looks, but as would any name that isn’t familiar.
I suggest combining your styles - either [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] as a fn with [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], [name_f]Anna[/name_f], etc in the middle, or, [name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], etc.
Thank you so much for all your help! I didn’t expect to get this many responses. I’ll talk to my husband tonight. boyandgirl- I love a lot of the names you suggested, but it’s harder to get him to agree. The responses are pretty split on whether or not [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] works on a girl, and I don’t like it, though I’m willing to use it if he really wants to. I also thought of using a girls’ name from a [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] song as a compromise, though that narrows our options. Hopefully I can get him to be a little more flexible. Again, thank you all so much.
I like the approach of using a girls name from a [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] song! That might be a nice compromise. But that said, I wouldn’t think twice about meeting a little girl named [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]. In fact, in my 6 years of teaching I taught 2 female Dylans. Although it is much more popular as a boys name (#31), it was #512 in the US as a girls name. Pregnancy, Parenting, Lifestyle, Beauty: Tips & Advice | mom.com
However, if you have serious reservations, I think it would be best to work together to find a name you can both love. Good luck!!
That sounds like a great compromise suggestion @dadtobe! Then there would be a subtle ode to [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] that other [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] fans might pick up on and appreciate all the more. I think you’ll find there are quite a few names to choose from if you go that route… here’s some… BOYS/GIRLS NAMES IN DYLAN SONGS - Expecting Rain
[name_f]Alberta[/name_f]
[name_f]Sadie[/name_f]
[name_u]Quinn[/name_u]
[name_f]Corinna[/name_f]
[name_f]Brigitte[/name_f]
[name_f]Sophia[/name_f]
[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]
[name_u]Hollis[/name_u]
[name_f]Hattie[/name_f]
[name_f]Ramona[/name_f]
[name_f]Maggie[/name_f]
[name_f]Jane[/name_f]
[name_f]Georgia[/name_f]
[name_f]Annie[/name_f]
[name_f]Melina[/name_f]
[name_f]Bette[/name_f]
[name_f]Louise[/name_f]
[name_f]Johanna[/name_f]
[name_f]Ruthie[/name_f]
[name_f]Mary[/name_f]
[name_f]Marie[/name_f]
[name_u]Frankie[/name_u]
[name_f]Peggy[/name_f]
[name_f]Sadie[/name_f]
[name_f]Hazel[/name_f]
[name_f]Lily[/name_f]
[name_f]Rosemary[/name_f]
[name_f]Nellie[/name_f]
[name_f]Bessie[/name_f]
[name_f]Molly[/name_f]
[name_f]Valerie[/name_f]
[name_u]Vivian[/name_u]
It sounds like you have an uphill battle convincing your partner to not use [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]. I wouldn’t use it, personally. And I do see how people might make that connection. Can you use it as a middle name with a more feminine first name? I have to agree with augusta_lee, it is rather trendy thus making it dated, to use a masculine name for a girl. Regardless, once you name her you can never imagine her being named anything else!
I don’t like [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] for a girl (love it for a boy, though), so I think that your compromise of using a [name_m]Bob[/name_m] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] song is lovely! However, if you do use [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], I like [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]. Good luck!
One of my best friends named her little girl [name_f]Johanna[/name_f], after the [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] song. They call her [name_u]Jo[/name_u] or [name_u]Jojo[/name_u] all of the time. The name is sweet and tasteful, and makes a great story when people ask (as they always do,) “why did you name your daughter that?”